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  1. I can only comment based on my own experience with my JustNoMIL. We needed a big ticket item. She pressed and pressed to "help." Even said "no strings attached. This is what family does." Once I stupidly accepted, she proceeded to strangle me with the strings that were indeed attached!

  2. Oh a few months ago, lol it’s been 8 years of this fun. She wouldn’t technically be doing us a favor. She’s getting the same amount she would from the trade in but they’d be putting the full amount towards her new car and we think maybe she wants to use it for something else and just pay off her loan monthly. So realistically we’re doing her a favor and saving the hassle of trying to find a new buyer.

  3. Are you making payments or paying it outright. If you have to make payments, it is not worth it.

  4. We’d be taking out a loan. So she’d get the payment in full once the title was signed over to us. Which means no need to stay in contact with her lol

  5. Is she a narcissist by chance? Narcissists often have codependency issues.

  6. I’m almost positive her mom is and she shares a lot of the same behaviors lol

  7. Sil is delusional. She thinks staking claim to people gives her credit while taking it away from you. This is her way of coming off important.

  8. I’m just hoping she says something to me so I can call he out haha. I have such a hard time with confrontation sometimes but I can’t wait for this to get brought up.

  9. It’s definitely weird. Talking every day is one thing, I have a group text with my mom and sisters and we talk every day. But I don’t expect anything from them it’s just an awesome way to keep up with them and my nieces and nephews since I live 4 hours away but this doesn’t sound like that hahaha I definitely would’ve been upset about the dishes regardless of the edit. One thanksgiving I asked my MIL To leave the food while I dropped a plate to our friend 5 minutes away and when I came back she packed everything up and mixed everything when I have a system so I kinda equate it to that. If you say something it should be respected. And being sick..jeez it’s a low grade come on he doesn’t need mommy to take care of him for that. She clearly hasn’t realized that he’s an adult and you guys don’t need a parent. I wish you the best of luck too many of us go through this…

  10. Sometimes they know, but more often they’ll ask what he’s up to on said day. He’ll tell them and that’s when they ask him to do something, get pushy about it and then get whiny about it not happening. His sisters favorite thing to say is “well that really sucks I was seriously looking forward to it” like it was already set in stone and he’s bailing last minute.

  11. I've got 6 brothers and have never been a bridesmaid for a SIL. Thats a role for her close friends not the grooms little sister. (Obviously different where the grooms sister is also a close friend of the bride)

  12. Because I have so many sisters, we agreed when the oldest got married we’d draw names and each sister would get a chance to represent the rest as a bridesmaid. So I had my sister and my two childhood best friends. I have a lot of other friends who would’ve been next in line and I’m closer with his brothers fiancé than I am with her. So if I added her it’d add on more and then I would’ve been able to have all my sisters so it didn’t make sense to me. She couldn’t grasp that. Asked him 3 times if she could be a bridesmaid and asked me twice. Made a huge scene at my bachelorette party about it and completely lost it on me more than a handful of times. So I really did not want her standing in as a groomsman, because that just gave into all the horrible things she did.

  13. You are allowed to say things like "doesn't it seem strange that you're all over your brother? Don't you think that's odd, the way you hang on him?". But, I'm petty. You should speak to your fiance and get him to ask her to back off. He can tell her it's making him uncomfortable and to please stop. If he doesn't, than you have another issue on your hands. Maybe you guys can move far away after you're married. And,please, make sure no one has spare keys to your place, you may come home some day and find she's rearranged everything to "help" you, or just find her sitting in your home. Her behavior is way off and creepy. I hope your fiance decides to speak with her about it.

  14. I think the big problem is he had such a hard time accepting that his mom was a huge problem. He wanted to ignore it and hope it went back to normal. So now that his sisters gone off the deep end i think he’s hoping it’ll just go away on it’s own. We had a really long talk, because we’re trying to get pregnant and I told him that if this continues on or gets worse I’ll have no problem cutting them off completely. He said he wants to give her a little time because he thinks she’s just freaking out that things are finalized and now that he has a wife she feels like she’s left in the dust. And I’d understand that more if she and I hadn’t had such a good relationship over the years. I can handle emotions and talking things like this over. I can’t handle being attacked constantly, attempted guilt trips and tantrum’s like a 5 year old instead of addressing your feelings like an adult. I’d love to move closer to my family. His career has just started to really take off and if we leave now he’ll have to start over which isn’t something we can afford to do, unfortunately.

  15. I thought a ghost poop was when you poop and don’t need to wipe. Like you wipe twice but it comes out clean without any poop so you just kinda sit like huh that poop left no trace behind like a ghost. Edit it is also referred to as a phantom poop (unless ghost and phantom poops are different things !(◎_◎)

  16. I always was told ghost poops were when someone poops in the time it takes them to pee and no one ever knows 🤣

  17. I think my brain still works through how she took it upon herself to "inform" your mother about something like that. I mean, just imagine for a second you didn't tell her yet because... well, you're sick?! It happens? (I can't be the only one who just wants my peace and quiet when I'm sick.)

  18. The strangest part is, our families aren’t close, because we’re in different states she’s met my mom ONCE. So it’s not like they’re buddies or anything. They’re Facebook friends and will comment “happy birthday” once a year. Not a relationship where you’d tell someone that kinda info.

  19. OP, please tell us your mother/family of origin took an advantage and told your MIL on the book of faces to sod off! you foolish enough to think my family member would not tell me about her life?

  20. My mom is way too nice to “tell her off” but she did make it known that I keep her informed and that she was really glad she heard from me first.

  21. Was flying to see my boyfriend who was in the army at the time and got booted off one of my flights. they had no flights leaving from that airport, but offered me a seat on a flight at the nearest airport 3 hours away. Another guy was also booted off the flight. I wasn’t old enough to rent a car yet, so he offered to give me a lift in his rental. Gave me all his info so my parents had a name of who i was going with, turns out he’s from the same area as me and had done some work with my dad. Wouldn’t accept a dime in gas money and bought me lunch.

  22. Yeah, not YOUR job to police their drunk of a mom. If they want it done, they should do it.

  23. We don’t provide alcohol for family gatherings when she’s around. She brought the bottle and drank it all. She was definitely gone and could barely stand up. I’m more worried about her drinking elsewhere or at home than in our house because at least we can make sure she’s getting a safe ride as no one else is drinking. But it’s also crazy that she’s fine drinking that much when no one else is.

  24. I can't tell if this happened at your house or another relatives. Either way...

  25. It was at our house. Luckily there’s no way for her to sneak out the door as it’s in our living room. We usually have dry gatherings and don’t bring or supply anything to enable her but that doesn’t do much with her bringing her own. We did decide that from here on our we’re going to try to say no drinking at all. Can’t say how that will go over but if she wants to drive herself home then that’s gotta be pushed harder.

  26. Your right it happens. Racism is not as big of an issue that the media pushes for and it doesn’t help the issue there is more good a lot more these last few episodes have had a hidden agenda and have been more political then firefighting just need the normal show back and Sullivan and dean were super out of character Sullivan a combat vet and dean silver spoon not the same character just can someone admit that the political agenda is there? Can we ever get a real break from it and just watch tv

  27. Except it is. I have a friend who’s mixed and she got pulled over for a light being out. We were in the car with her 2 year old in the backseat and she waited until they got to the car to ask for her info and when she told them she was reaching for the glove compartment to grab it, he pulled a gun out and told her to step out of the car. Nobody ever said anything to me, but they yelled at her and said they were going to search the car and that she couldn’t get her kid out. They let me take the kid out while they stood there watching her and screamed at her not to move while they searched her car. For a tail light being out. We didn’t do anything wrong..we were going hiking, and they didn’t find anything. I’ve never ever experienced that for any sort of driving offense I’ve had.. The worst part is it shocked me a hell of a lot than it did her.. So it’s nice to see it being brought to the public’s attention..

  28. Ugh I feel for you. I’ve been together with my boyfriend for 6+ years and I get the same comments...”oh, you know that about him!?!?”....”oh did you know in our family we do this and that...” YES. Yes I do. I have been with your son for the last 6 friggin’ years.... we tell each other everything. We’ve lived together for 4... we own a home together.

  29. Omg haha I haaate that so much! She’s already made comments about me being “becoming part of the family” I’ve kinda felt like she’s been trying to make everything a competition when a mother and SO relationship are two very different things. And now I can’t tell if she’s feeling like I need her permission/blessing or if she feels like she “lost” and now is trying to be over the top...

  30. When it comes to the wedding don’t tell her anything. Say you want it all to be a surprise on the day. Don’t tell her venues or vendors. Password lock everything just incase she finds out. (FDHs can be a bit dumb at times). Go with her to pick her dress so it doesn’t colour clash with the bridesmaids and so it’s not a white wedding dress.

  31. Thank you! I definitely have been keeping a lot of that stuff quiet. It’s the running joke that she’s going to buy herself a wedding dress for the day. Hahaha

  32. I've met maybe one person in my life where they didn't want you wearing shoes in the house.

  33. Really?! Where do you live? Anyone I’ve ever known has been taught to take your shoes off, so it’s the opposite here. What’s the point in cleaning the floors at that point haha

  34. Philadelphia, shit anywhere on the east coast I've never seen it.

  35. It’s funny, my SO’s mom is from NY she never takes her shoes off anywhere she goes but she throws a fit if someone walks too far into the entry way with her shoes on

  36. I read your old posts, and she is truly vile. I hope your SO is coming out of the FOG. Why don’t you just block her number? Then she’d have to go thru your SO

  37. I hadn’t communicated with her myself for over a year. I refused to reply, refused to reach out. Always made him because it just got to that breaking point.

  38. Not only is the rug sweeping a massive issue, if he meets up with her and carries the virus home to you you are screwed with no health insurance.

  39. That’s what I’ve said. I really don’t want to get sick, but getting sick without health insurance is a whole other ballgame.

  40. I just miss them both so much. I've never lost anyone close to me until now and I don't know how to manage. Sending prayers your way too

  41. May I start out by saying Thank you for loving your Grammy and taking care of her.

  42. My mom deserves most of the credit. Although myself and my sisters were there to help and support and love my mom did all the nitty gritty care taking. My mom mostly wonders if it would've changed anything had we waited but we didn't want her to be in pain.

  43. I will never use it. We've talked about doing that but I don't want to be the one to go against his mom when it's his fight. It mostly made me angry when she said. "well you got it". Like thats not how things should work.

  44. It's really not a nice gesture. She ignored you both, went behind your back and commited fraud.

  45. I always feel like I'm overreacting until I can come here. People who don't understand the whole crazy mil situation. I don't even know how to go about this at this point.

  46. "MIL, you couldn't behave yourself for Thanksgiving, so you are in timeout for Christmas."

  47. That's how short I want my SO to be, as bad as that sounds. He still feels a little guilty and that he owes an explanation, but it's his mom so I don't expect it to be as easy. The fact that he's come this far to exclude her for a holiday AND say that we won't all be meeting up another day is a huge step for us. She has done everything in her power to try to make our lives hell. Up until last week I managed to stay NC with her for 8 months. And he has his own relationship.

  48. And she dumped YOUR food because SHE didn't want it?!?!? WTF?!?!? And this was in YOUR house?!?!?

  49. Yep! I had made a plate for a friend who lives close by but was alone and in the 5 minutes I was gone she took it upon herself to "package things up" even though I repeatedly said that I'd prefer to do it myself.

  50. He doesn't understand my wanting nothing to do with her because he thinks I should just start over with a clean slate...every time she does something wrong.

  51. It's been two weeks. If she hasn't mentioned it to you or to him, it's a non-issue and he needs to chill. If she did mention it to him, he needs to tell her that she needs to talk to you directly about anything you do that makes her uncomfortable. Among other things, one thing that JustNo's do best is triangulate and stick people in the middle.

  52. I think that might be why he got so upset. Because maybe she said something but he doesn't want to tell me so I can just play it off. But I have no interest in it.

  53. I definitely recommend getting a camera set up so you can see him while you’re away. See when he starts going through stuff, see how he acts etc. if he’s crying and whining and then destroying, maybe it’s separation anxiety. Or maybe he’s just bored.

  54. The camera is a good idea ill look into one of those. And I never thought about leaving the tv on. Maybe the background noise will help. We got the bitter apple spray and that didn't even phase him. He has at least 30 different types of toys, chew toys, plush toys, ropes, frisbees, balls. Anything a dog could want haha. If I put peanut butter in his Kong he won't touch it til we come home.

  55. Hmm maybe just have to see on the camera. Might help see why he’s doing it or what the pattern is. Also if you are getting one, get one that has two way communication. I got mine on amazon for under $100 and I can hear and talk to my dog thru the app for it. It’s pretty convenient and if he misbehaves I can just tell him to stop. Kind of funny catching em in the act cuz they have no idea where the voice is coming from lol. Good luck !

  56. That's such a good idea thank you!! Something's gotta give haha

  57. What does he have to say for himself when you tell him that his words don’t reflect his actions?

  58. "I'll try harder" is usually the first.

  59. You're miserable. His mother is making you miserable, you don't feel valued in your relationship, you feel like he sacrifices your happiness (mostly because he does sacrifice your happiness), and you need him to go with you to talk about it. He'll drive an hour to open a garage door but won't sit for an hour and talk?

  60. That's what I say. No matter what I'M going to say my piece because no way in hell am I going to keep my mouth shut but he won't. He shuts down. And this is why I want to go talk to someone. Because how am I supposed to work on something that's only one sided?

  61. Maybe tell friend the dog story... It might start alarm bells ringing...

  62. Sadly she was there for it. He sniffed the baby's foot and then when he cried he came over and gently licked his head before taking off, my MIL lost it. Started screaming about how he's so misbehaved (friend wasn't concerned at all) and so "aggressive" around babies. And that's when she grabbed him.

  63. That's what I said! I sat down with her and had a conversation and she said she felt it was a little excessive but it's "nice to have help as a new mom" I don't think that's the kind of help you want....

  64. With my cat, I went to the humane society to volunteer. I was in with the cats and they were all going crazy. Except one, she moved to the back of her kennel and watched me move around the room. When I got close she walked up to me and licked my face before moving back to her original spot. I ended up taking her home with me and I've had her for 8 years.

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