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AITA for the way I reacted to my neurotypical children telling me they won't be caring for their sibling?

Are you being serious right now?

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When you come across a feel-good thing.

*Lowers face into palm*

Shows the Silver Award... and that's it.

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I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.


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AITA for refusing to choose between my daughters

When you come across a feel-good thing.

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Thank you stranger. Shows the award.


A smol, delicate danger noodle.

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Are you being serious right now?

*Lowers face into palm*

  1. NTA. I have great-great twin nephews who just turned 1 yr old last month; I still only kiss their little legs or arms, never anywhere around their faces.

  2. You need counseling, be honest, tell a counselor what you want from your other 2 kids. Tell a counselor how you have groomed your other 2 their since Jack was diagnosed. Tell a counselor what your "yeah, but..." replies were; see what the counselor says to you, lady. YTA.

  3. you are right… But would you clean absolutely EVERYTHING out? these items were loose change, probably $10, and sentimental things. It also sucks that they snooped around

  4. It does suck that they snooped around and took your belongings. Did the contract have a clause something like "Not responsible for personal items in vehicle" type of thing?

  5. YTA. I think the best therapy to help the gf Kelly get out of her depression is for you to LEAVE HER HOME so she isn't supporting another adult-child.

  6. NTA. The "Really Mean Me" would say 'fine if you insist'. At the end of the day, I'd say goodnight, see you in the morning, then both you and SO walk out the your own separate room on another floor. But then again, that is me. The other "Mean Me" would just say 'Hells NO" and make sure everyone knew why.

  7. My hair salon lady gets a $40 for a $25 trim. No curling iron, no rollers, no hair dryer use. I shampoo before going there. This miracle worker has mad skills to keep my baby-thin hair halfway decent. My nail lady gets $50 for a $30 mani refill (no fancy designs and I buy my own polish). Both get home made bread and sweets with enuf for their family, also extra money for holidays and their birthdays.

  8. I went to a drive thru and gave them a dollar with my card, as I know they'd been asking for tips recently. She turns back to me after putting the dollar in their tip jar and asks "do you want to add a tip on your card?" I was like "No. I do not. That's why I just gave you $1" and she gave me a nasty look. I do not understand the entitlement. I know for a fact this place pays above minimum wage too, I used to work there. It's ridiculous, but corporations figured out that if they make tipping an option, most people feel obligated to do so. I've stopped giving these places my business.

  9. Wow and LOL. She wanted a tip in cash and on the card, that's some nerve jeez. THIS is why all those little added fees to the bill make us not want to give a penny more.

  10. YTA, Get any job while you are waiting for your Dream Job....oh yeah, and take shower

  11. Have you checked with the college/resources to see if you can qualify for dorm housing programs?

  12. This. OP, tell your GF she was right, it would be a kind thing to do, then hold out your hand for the 2k (or whatever). Tell her that you're impressed by her kindness and that she's willing to pay for the PC for him. See how she reacts, then ask why you should be expected to do the same if she's not willing to.

  13. agree, plus let her know she needs to start learning how to build PC's coz once word is out you've started a Charity....your names will be everywhere

  14. Thats what I think but if I say something I get kicked out and have to go back to live with my drunk mother

  15. I am sorry but maybe this is just too much for your grandma to have a young one living with her and she's just too anxious about it. We don't know what all is also going on in her life. I wish you both well. Call legal authorities about your mom's alcohol problem and report your unstable home life, that you even moved for 6 months and your mom didn't try to get you to come back home.

  16. Thank you. I had to do that when mine were little (elementary school) coz they'd end up playing at the table while I was busy getting dressed for work, lol. The only hint is do NOT leave the timer on the table where little hands can get to it

  17. My friend does similar things with timers. When it's time to leave (like a playground, for instance) she tells the kids they're leaving in 5 min and sets a timer. I think it works pretty well. I myself (43f) am terrible with transitions and I have seen so many kids just freak out when parents say, "OK, we're leaving NOW" with no warning. Seems like warnings help a lot, but IANA parent (yet) so I try hard not to judge.

  18. Yet another good tip and good use of the timer, thank you! I also agree that abrupt "time to go!" is hard when such good fun is being had.

  19. YTA. Stay out of it and apologize to both for meddling and for taking sides. and btw also apologize to your husband for causing such chaos in the family. Both daughters are adults and have their own lives. As long as you keep interfering, I doubt they will ever even manage to be civil. They don't have to be friends, have each other's backs, take care of each other, whatever. They aren't clones. Sounds like you are a bit jealous yourself of the older daughter Sarah's success and ability to be an adult and have her own life without you. How Sarah acts is her business. Quit enabling your youngest. Quit saying you don't remember who said what coz it was only a few years ago while they were in college, quit lying to yourself and others. Sounds also like you are too worried about how others may perceive this (gasp! the sister was not invited to the wedding, must be a bad mom).

  20. I work with children with autism and I have seen some low fuctioning kids in my time with extreme behavior. And honestly if I was your behavioral therapist I would say go without her.

  21. ProfessionalEcho001, Even if you did not work with children with autism, I applaud your reply and agree 100%. Too many siblings get shorted of time and attention when another child requires 24/7 care. Those other siblings suffer from it into adulthood as a rule; how many posts have we seen "My parents ignored me while taking care of my 'insert disorder' sibling.

  22. OP, I am curious, have you ever had the opportunity to just take your medically-injured child anywhere on a one-on-one basis, perhaps overnight? I am curious how your child did. This is NOT me saying you are an 'ah' or anything like that, I am truly curious. I still vote NTA for you, OP.

  23. I'm really sorry but that isn't what I was trying to say at all. I merely wanted to say it'd be okay for him to go out for the weekend maybe once a month while she's the one to stay home. I don't want her to "slowly ride the bus to the grave."

  24. YTA. Excuse me, but some of us spent our YOUTHFUL YEARS consumed by taking care of children, home, family, spouse, work, and everything that goes along with it. We don't often get a chance to "Live Our Lives" until we do hit frigging 60 or so. That was very insulting, and yes, your choice of words were very rude.

  25. NTA and your friend has used all of her venting and complaining credits, no doubt. I'd tell her how 'you simply cannot take anymore of this, it is now affecting your own mental health and emotions, that you love her, but you are not her counselor, perhaps she may want to get in contact with one to discuss why she lets herself be used like this?' She may end the friendship, but this doesn't sound like much of a friendship to me, it sounds all one-sided with you bearing the brunt. This does NOT make you an insensitive jerk, the fact that this has eaten at you so deeply shows your emotions are being damaged.

  26. YTA. You NEVER leave someone like that stranded, omg. The least you could have done is driven her to a public place to let her out. She is also the AH for agreeing to go then admitting she did not want to during the trip. But she didn't deserve to be stranded.

  27. You’re NTA, but you’re also foolish. Why would you open that can of worms with your parents? You’re only 21. You have at least 20 years to go before you are forced into the “I have to have kids now if I’m having them” corner, and that is the moment to break this news to your parents.

  28. I do agree with this; but it seems those parents really want OP to start providing heirs, LOL. Our daughter (about the same age bracket) did the same thing, just one day let us know "NO KIDS for me, I'm working on my own life, education, travel, friends, career. Maybe one day I'll adopt". We just smiled, said we agreed (we did btw), told her we wanted the best life for her and only she would know what works for her. She's now a grandmother herself :)

  29. NTA. Honestly, it is healthy to think this way when you are very young and want to be "you". Indulge yourself, work, learn, save up, plan for a career and a future. Later you may want to change your mind. Your parents should not be worried or wanting grandchildren just coz you are 21, you have plenty of time IF you change your mind. IMO it's selfish of parents to want a young person to just start having children instead of working on learning who you truly are and what you want your life to be. Tell them to ask again in 5 years (then tell them the same lol if you want); they should want you to develop your mind and life first, they should want only the best for you.

  30. YTA. OP wrote " This is a hill I’m willing to die on and I’ll do anything to give him the life he should’ve had.". Okay, bye bye. Say 'bye' to your other kids with the wife as she boots you out or leaves coz you are insistent on this.

  31. NTA. Can you move into your sister's home during this time? It might help your niece being around familiar environment, her bedroom, all of her toys, etc. And would get her away from your insufferable callous husband

  32. You realise your NTA rating implies OP is in no way being unreasonable? Even if you have that view, surely ESH is a more appropriate representation

  33. OP is honest and writes "I kind of find it hard to interact with him and being around him generally gives me anxiety.". Why would anyone want that type of person to be forced on a vacation with Ryan (usually cramped sleeping quarters, every second together, while on vacation)? IMO, this is not fair to OP, it is not fair to Ryan. Having a family member with level 3 Autism in my family, I understand how taxing it can be (also family with bi-polar, schizophrenia, other mental issues that I've dealt and cared for with my own family for over 47 years). We don't know Ryan's level and maturity and how Ryan copes; I am sure OP has a better handle on that than us.

  34. NTA. This is your vacation as well, don't care who the heck is paying for it. That was mean of your husband to bring up who is paying.

  35. I’d also make sure that no bank statements arrived by post, and that no one except maybe the sister has keys to OP’s place. I’d block the cousin on social media too, cos who needs to listen to the noise he will inevitably make.

  36. excellent advice, OP, please read BeneficialDark1662 comments

  37. NTA. This fund is for YOUR emergencies, should they arrive. What are you supposed to do if something did happen and now you have no money put aside? Your cousin AND his pregnant gf have plenty of time to start saving up money for the baby; this is deff a THEM problem, not a YOU problem. NTA.

  38. I mean it kinda sounds like his family already did that since they’re all financially tapped out.

  39. and they'd come up with some other sad-luck story to ask OP for more money so they could once again give it away to lazy-boy

  40. NTA. Tell every single one to take the money you loaned/gave them, collect it all, then give it to the lazy brother. The Brother Bank is now closed. Don't lend or give anymore money to anyone, you know where that money ends up -- deadbeat bro.

  41. NTA. The timing is poor, but IMO you must first take care of yourself (and have an after-plan coz you know there will be fall-out or more gossip or more guilting or those who insist on taking sides), but you first must take care of yourself. I wish you well; I hope this goes as well as can be expected. I wish you new friends.

  42. NTA for reaching out, but then the ball is in their court. Perhaps find new friends 'outside' the home, rather than on the phone? Find social groups where you and others can verbalize about hobbies, likes, whatever? Work place groups?

  43. Here I am also referring to a group of 3 to 4 friends. And my call frequency is around once in 2 months. I call them as they are my closest friends. The rest I communicate over texts itself, I am not bothered by it.

  44. Nah, not at all. I read it differently, that's all. thanks.

  45. NTA you don't have to like your bf's parents (helps if you do lol). You posted this approx 5 days ago as well?

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