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  1. "you know you're a real man when the cops are afraid to rush the school you're shooting up!"

  2. We followed the Grateful Dead on their spring tour in 1989, and somehow ended up doing mushrooms, coke and weed in some rando's mostly deserted house in Rochester. I'm pretty sure they were squatting there. We slept on air mattresses.

  3. 'scientists can now grow wood'...heh heheh heh...

  4. They heard shots but didn't go in, and kids died. They should ALL offer up resignations.

  5. Do I sense another Dancing With the Stars entry?

  6. "Now, what can I do to make this truly horrifying event even more evil and terrible? After all, I am a GOP Congressman..."

  7. Over 60 and officially disapproving of all of you...

  8. My house lost power for 3 days from a big friggin thunderstorm, not even a tornado, while the media covers multiple mass shootings, horrors in Ukraine, Monkeypox succeeding covid, runaway inflation, antibacterial agent resistant bacteria in Antactica, while right wing, white supremacist wackjobs outlaw abortion and plot to overthrow western democracies. But, y'know, not complaining...

  9. I really hate hurting other people. It makes me physically ill, so no. The only concievable reason would be if I lived in an area with a large wild boar population, and needed a firearm to potentially shoot one if it were too aggressive.

  10. When the 'burden' started telling the white man to fuck off and leave them alone...

  11. My missus, who is a lifelong swimmer and former competitive synchro swimmer, has just told me so many hideous stories of the self inflicted fuckery that swimmers of that level get up to that I must respectfully disagree...

  12. When I moved into my apartment, I kept thinking I was hearing the moaning of neighbors fuckin through the walls, at random times day or night. I eventually realized it's actually the sound my damn freezer makes.

  13. Your freezer screams "OH GOD FUCK ME! I'M CUMMING! AAAAARRRGGHHH!"?

  14. Why not give them back Alaska if you're so committed to peace?

  15. The good thing about being called Amber Heard is that it's crystal clear that the multiple danger signals he gave could then be 'heard' properly...

  16. Has there ever been a female school shooter? One of these tac suited, notoriety craving, hate fueled terrorist fuckers? I'm sure that there have been individual shootings done by women in school settings on someone they know for revenge, etc., but an actual full on mass murder, 'imma be famous' degenerate? I don't think I've ever heard of one.

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