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  1. Thanks for sharing this. I've found myself almost in your position. I'm afraid there will be no one for me, so I've often downloaded apps, looked around, then deleted them.

  2. I'm sorry to hear this. Yes, you're right that prices are through the roof right now... this is true on all cars but esp Prius as gas is expensive right now. I bought one about a year ago and noticed the longer I was looking the higher prices were getting; I was lucky I got a good 2011 right before things got too crazy. If I were you I'd just keep looking everywhere and be willing to travel (I drove 100 miles to get mine) and jump on a deal quickly. Also, I'd consider getting a beater with AC for this summer if nothing pans out and then flipping that once prices stabilize.

  3. I have gotten really into the cuckold and chastity fetish. It's when a wife "makes" her husband wear a chastity belt and remain chaste/faithful to her while she has all the sex she wants with others. When I finally confessed this to my therapist (who was well aware of my DB) she said, "Have you ever considered that you are eroticizing your pain?!" She mentioned that many clients who are raped/molested later have rape/molestation fantasies... it's a way the mind deals with terrible situations.

  4. Oh wow. This hit home hard. I’ve been really into Cuckolding and Chastity and it seems like kink has gotten stronger the less I’m having sex. I’m not sure what to do with this information, but it is an eye opener.

  5. Yes, even though I'm aware of it I can't "fix" it... I still find it highly arousing. My therapist says that's normal. She said if the DB is fixed then those fantasies might lessen or go away, but they might not. Honestly, I don't care too much about these fantasies so long as I'm not in a DB. If I had a decent sex life I wouldn't have to be fantasizing all the time to get off, right?! ;) It did make me empathize more with victims of Stockholm syndrome... I can now see how some repetitive rape/abuse victims eventually begin to enjoy/accept their situation.

  6. My LL spouse's grandma lived in a nearby retirement community and was ALWAYS dating and going out. After she died we had to clean out her place. She had a vibrator, bottle of vodka, and polaroids under her bed (that showed that she was engaging in threesomes!). What's more, retirement communities are one of the few places where men outnumber women (good for me... sorry HL women, but I guess if I was an HL woman I'd try to find my partner(s) before retiring.). Sadly, my wife did not get this HL gene from her grandma... must skip a generation as my wife's sister is also very LL!

  7. I had a LTR (not marriage) that ended mutually decades ago; the reason was that we just wanted to see other people. We met in high school and had only ever been with each other (first relationship for both). However, our families (who had grown close) pressed us for details why we were ending it. I was honest. She lied. Looking back, I can see why. It was "slutty" for a girl to want variety. So she said that I had cheated (I hadn't, and in fact she was the first to sleep outside the relationship). Both her family and mine blamed me and made my life a living hell (I was still living at home, but quickly moved out due to this). The lesson I learned from this is that when I end my current DB I'm just gonna lie. I'm not going to tell the truth... I'm just gonna say that I was cheated on. Your family may not be like mine... maybe they're supportive, but if not, why do you think they even deserve the truth?

  8. because I don't what to lie. Even if you cheated still your family.. they should have supported you. Sorry about that man

  9. Thx. Yeah, I get not wanting to. I'm hoping I won't have to because now my parents are about 90 years old and may well no longer be with us when I'm able to make the split (for financial reasons that'll be several years from now). If I leave before then I will have learned from my past experience that the truth will just cause me grief with them though. They had a sexless, loveless, miserable relationship for decades and think others should endure that, too. I think that was just their generation's outlook. Thank goodness society has somewhat moved on from this, though not far or fast enough.

  10. Good luck, and glad you're making a clean break! Economically can't do it yet, but should be able to in 5 yrs. Looking fw to it.

  11. I prefer little/no makeup but I think I'm unusual. I also am not into high heels. I'm into hiking and physical activities and have usually been attracted to the natural hippy/ranger type girls. Most of my guy friends don't see eye to eye with me on this though. I'm in my mid 50s and most of my male friends are around my age.

  12. Putting my life and lives of others in danger = deal breaker!!!

  13. Don't be like me. 26 years, three kids and trying to figure out how to make it work.

  14. Yep! I always told myself to not get married unless I'd dated a year and all was well. When I met my wife I threw that out the window and got married in 9 months. Sex was OK then... but not really considering it was only a few months in and we were already down to once a week (I should mention she was 19 and I was 23 so that's pretty low for that age and just got together). I then stayed around 'cause of hopium and the "Mrs. Robinson" myth that females peak in their 30s. Instead it just slooooowwwwwly got worse. Then house. Then kids 1 and 2. Now it's once a month and starting to skip months. FML. If there's no kids... buh bye people!

  15. My spouse doesn't mind me wanking, so I really should try this more. I've been doing it all backwards... assuming she's not into it and wanking in advance (This is true a good 90% of the time, but I'm sure if I checked more often I could improve the odds).

  16. Saw that movie for the first time last year... it's GREAT!

  17. That is effed up. I work, but mostly from home now and have more free time than my LL spouse. I offered to do more chores and tasks because of this. I've done a few things that have saved us thousands of bucks (repairs, construction, home schooling during pandemic) not for sex but just to help and save $. He should step up if he's no longer working.

  18. Fasting was a godsend for me. I did he 5:2 fast (only 2 days a week, and still 600 calories those days) and got my weight and blood sugar way down. If it's working and making you healthier don't let anyone stand in your way... it's your bod and only you live in it!

  19. Yes... really hard sometimes to paint the smile on top of all the resentment.

  20. I do, but not on Reddit. I'm sure a lot of people will get upset with me about this, but I did find my wife's journal/diary, and checked it to see if the DB bothered her at all. First of all, she almost never writes in it. Maybe two entries per year. Second, there was only a single mention of our relationship: how she was glad I was helping our son with his homework. I sometimes check back when it has been a really long time w/o sex, but there is never a new entry, or if there is, it's something unrelated like a new exercise or meditation habit. If she ever found my journal, she'd see that it's about 90% on the DB (and the other 10% is how I need to quit drinking so much as that's an unhealthy way to deal with the DB).

  21. While reading this I thought, "Which famous poet/writer wrote this?" It reminded me slightly of the short story "The Minister's Black Veil" by Nathaniel Hawthorne... one of my favorite short stories. I fully expected to see an attribution at the bottom. Well done, sir!

  22. I got it after 2 kids and when I was almost 50 years old, so I don't regret it at all (even though it did nothing to help the DB despite the fact that condoms were the earlier excuse for it!). I don't want any more kids either way... even with somebody else later! ;)

  23. Funny... I sorted the DB posts by "new" and this post was right underneath one titled "How do you cope with the hopelessness?"! ;)

  24. Our 2nd kid was the nail in coffin of my DB too. Been 10 years now. I'm trying to hang in there the other 8. It's tough because at this point it is pretty hopeless, as you say. We've read all the books, etc. A tiger doesn't change its stripes, and the facts are my spouse just has a very low libido, and mine is very high, and no compromise will make either of us happy. I've gone to therapy, taken up meditation... many things. They all help, but they all are kinda like bandaids over the festering wound that is my marriage. Still... it's better to have a bandaid on the wound than nothing at all.

  25. I never have done so yet. When I was younger the opportunity came up a few times but I didn't (bedroom wasn't dead then, though it was struggling). Now I'm in my mid-50s. Bedroom has been dead for well over a decade. I no longer have any qualms about cheating, as I'm sick of this life and I'm not getting any younger. Leaving is not an option for several more years for many reasons. I've brought up opening our relationship and she's against it. (For some reason, she doesn't want other people to get what she doesn't want!) I'd cheat in a heartbeat, but it's not easy for a guy my age to meet casual affair seekers. I'm NOT willing to lie to an AP that I'm single, and I can't make an online profile as my wife has some single friends and it's too risky someone will see me online. IRL meetups are rare post-pandemic. If anyone knows how to make it happen I'm open to suggestions! ;)

  26. I haven't yet made any OLD profile as I'm not yet ready to date, but when I do I plan to mention my hobbies (hiking, biking) and fitness level and how I want to share an active lifestyle with new partners. In fact, being a couch potato is a deal breaker! Maybe put something like this in your profile to avoid future recurrences.

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