I would worry they would be too quick to give it to her which would end with me having to pump after picking up a not-hungry baby - I also suffer if I can't get to baby on time (which has never happened)! But my daycare has been pretty inconsistent with what they say they want. I would just hedge at first.
This is my fear too! If they gave her a bottle, then I'd have to pump, clean the parts, etc. I'm going to feed her on breaks from work, so I don't necessarily have time to drive over there, find she's not hungry, and then go back home and pump 😭
And you could get clogs or mastitis! A lot of people don't get how protective you have to be of the nursing relationship - your health is on the table. I don't see the benefit to the backup bottle unless you might be late. In my case, I schedule a ton of buffer and being late doesn't happen. If it might, then definitely plan for that.
Clean meals would have tanked my supply, I needed calories more than anything so I'd buy whatever I had to to keep my calorie intake up. I worked a similar schedule and had to do 3 30 minute pumps in the day, plus a pump before bed and before work to replace daycare feeds. I was able to drop the at-home pumps once she really started eating solids around 9 months. My flange size also went down and adjusting that helped.
I don't know that I agree with everyone that there's no right or wrong time to have a baby, but I guess it depends on your circumstances. I was quite old when I had mine and don't regret waiting for my career to be established. I'm self employed and there's no way I could have done the business building I did early on alongside having a baby. By the time I had her I had regular clients and experience so could get new ones if necessary. My partner works long shifts so he can't do evenings and I don't have any family help so I needed to be done by the time daycare closed or catch up at night which is hard with a non sleeping baby. Even now she's older there are projects I have to reject because I can't just keep working whenever I want. But obviously if you have different circumstances it might be different.
I definitely don't agree with that saying in a lot of situations. Life experience and earned career flexibility make a huge difference in my ability to enjoy parenting and be a better parent
I cannot up vote this enough. My husband and I have been open and honest about being OAD since before my daughter was born and now she has arrived I am starting to get underhanded comments from our parents.
A poster in the DaniAustin sub has 20,000+ screenshots saved from Dani’s account. I don’t . . . why . . . I can’t. Poster also claims they “just” found these screenshots on their phone, but also regularly posts a screenshot of anything another poster asks about in the sub.
Society’s view of aging is so odd. In truth, getting older is a privilege that many people don’t have, yet we are taught to view it negatively and have weird insecurities around age, especially for women. I’m not a celebrity and don’t have that pressure, but I do try to make a conscious effort to counteract that programming because at the end of the day, I really hope I get a chance to be old, see my grandkids, live a full life, etc.
Yes!! i live in the south in a small town and people look at me like i have two heads when i say we are OAD. When you have one, you still have space to be your own person, but with 2+ you are only a parent at that point. I cant really articulate it well without seeming like i hate being a parent.
Like why isn't this about working PARENTS? Why is it moms who are expected to struggle with this? Wouldn't all of these tips be effective for both parents? Maybe I'm just feeling extra salty today!
I'll be honest, I really struggled with the consistency of all the cakes I tried and ended up just ordering one from the Walmart bakery. I know that sounds insane, but it was actually crazy good.
The one close to me does! Gluten free, too! We got a vegan cake, vegan cupcakes, and regular and gluten free non-vegan cupcakes so everyone had something! I didn't see anything online, but when I went in and asked the bakery if they could do it (after trying an ATROCIOUS beet sugar vegan smash cake at a local bakery that tasted like sawdust and unwashed ass) they were more than happy to figure something out, especially since I just wanted something simple (no decoration- just a strawberry cake). We're actually vegetarian, but use vegan if we can't find a pasture raised/cruelty free version of something locally, so it's easier to just do vegan most of the time.
Pregnancy and early childhood take a ton of energy, but I have more energy for other things as the baby becomes less dependent on my body. I'm still exhausted from poor sleep but it's different for me than when my body was waging war with a placenta and an entire life was growing inside me. I would focus on optics and doing what you have to do to get through.
Yeah I agree the problem is with her journalism. She starts with a premise then posts on social media looking for examples to back it up, ignoring all counter examples. Her stuff on parenting often lacks nuance as a result. I think the reason why BS focuses on her lack of children is that they feel she’d more naturally “get it” if she had kids of her own. All of this stuff she focuses on, which seem so crazy to her childless eyes, would make a lot more sense in context. Parents understand through long experience (starting with the seemingly endless sleepless nights) that drudgery and joy are flip sides to the same coin.
Since it's just three days, I would go for it. Three days that don't go well wouldn't affect your supply in the long run and baby will let you know at night if it wants to nurse directly for more calories. Agreed with the others that your mom might be willing to be childcare. It wouldn't be the most fun for anyone, but just three days sounds doable to me.
Hahaha it’s just such a dumb thing to complain about! Like think of what a normal person would likely include in a goody bag and it’s all little tiny things like erasers or bouncy balls, little Pokémon things, little not wheels..or candy. I don’t even know what one would put in a party favor bag that would be appropriate for a baby to have because baby toys are huge!
i have been steppparents lurking at the advice of some here (good advice, it has some really terrible people (and some seemingly lovely/mistreated ones! so many shitty husbands)), and i am feeling...uncomfortable about the way they talk about how it's impossible to love non bio children because you need a bio connection for love? There was this post the other day about if you could ever love stepkids like your own (already a dumb question I think--no 2 loves look the same), and so many people being like no eww never, i don't have the special bio hormones you need to love a kid with them, it's wholly unnatural to love another woman's offspring, etc. Like, I have never had a baby and I am not a mom or step mom. But I feel fairly confident that people are 100% capable of loving children they didn't birth? How on earth is it unnatural?
If people can whole heartedly love creatures they care for of other species, they can definitely love children that aren't biologically theirs. So sad for those kids!
Yes, and she luckily outgrew it 6 months later
I would worry they would be too quick to give it to her which would end with me having to pump after picking up a not-hungry baby - I also suffer if I can't get to baby on time (which has never happened)! But my daycare has been pretty inconsistent with what they say they want. I would just hedge at first.
This is my fear too! If they gave her a bottle, then I'd have to pump, clean the parts, etc. I'm going to feed her on breaks from work, so I don't necessarily have time to drive over there, find she's not hungry, and then go back home and pump 😭
And you could get clogs or mastitis! A lot of people don't get how protective you have to be of the nursing relationship - your health is on the table. I don't see the benefit to the backup bottle unless you might be late. In my case, I schedule a ton of buffer and being late doesn't happen. If it might, then definitely plan for that.
Clean meals would have tanked my supply, I needed calories more than anything so I'd buy whatever I had to to keep my calorie intake up. I worked a similar schedule and had to do 3 30 minute pumps in the day, plus a pump before bed and before work to replace daycare feeds. I was able to drop the at-home pumps once she really started eating solids around 9 months. My flange size also went down and adjusting that helped.
I drive an MX-5 (miata) two seater convertible haha love having the one
Seriously?! We got rid of ours for the baby but maybe it'll make (some) sense when they don't have to be in a booster anymore
I don't know that I agree with everyone that there's no right or wrong time to have a baby, but I guess it depends on your circumstances. I was quite old when I had mine and don't regret waiting for my career to be established. I'm self employed and there's no way I could have done the business building I did early on alongside having a baby. By the time I had her I had regular clients and experience so could get new ones if necessary. My partner works long shifts so he can't do evenings and I don't have any family help so I needed to be done by the time daycare closed or catch up at night which is hard with a non sleeping baby. Even now she's older there are projects I have to reject because I can't just keep working whenever I want. But obviously if you have different circumstances it might be different.
I definitely don't agree with that saying in a lot of situations. Life experience and earned career flexibility make a huge difference in my ability to enjoy parenting and be a better parent
I cannot up vote this enough. My husband and I have been open and honest about being OAD since before my daughter was born and now she has arrived I am starting to get underhanded comments from our parents.
Jordan Peterson says 🙃
SAHM is not a literal term and a SAHP might spend very little time actually in their home... That person was being pedantic
A poster in the DaniAustin sub has 20,000+ screenshots saved from Dani’s account. I don’t . . . why . . . I can’t. Poster also claims they “just” found these screenshots on their phone, but also regularly posts a screenshot of anything another poster asks about in the sub.
Is this poster Joe from YOU
Society’s view of aging is so odd. In truth, getting older is a privilege that many people don’t have, yet we are taught to view it negatively and have weird insecurities around age, especially for women. I’m not a celebrity and don’t have that pressure, but I do try to make a conscious effort to counteract that programming because at the end of the day, I really hope I get a chance to be old, see my grandkids, live a full life, etc.
It's such an amazing privilege. The social pressure is terrible.
Yes!! i live in the south in a small town and people look at me like i have two heads when i say we are OAD. When you have one, you still have space to be your own person, but with 2+ you are only a parent at that point. I cant really articulate it well without seeming like i hate being a parent.
It's so nice to be a parent when the job isn't overwhelming!
For my mental health, I ignored any one offs. I hope that's all it is for you 🤞 Maybe get yourself a solidly allergy free treat?
Report to the state. I'm sorry you're dealing with this
Like why isn't this about working PARENTS? Why is it moms who are expected to struggle with this? Wouldn't all of these tips be effective for both parents? Maybe I'm just feeling extra salty today!
I was about to scream that this should be for working dads so I'm as salty as you
I'm sorry you were treated so dismissively. Free to Feed is a website with resources for nursing through allergies - hope it helps!
I'll be honest, I really struggled with the consistency of all the cakes I tried and ended up just ordering one from the Walmart bakery. I know that sounds insane, but it was actually crazy good.
They have vegan cakes?!
The one close to me does! Gluten free, too! We got a vegan cake, vegan cupcakes, and regular and gluten free non-vegan cupcakes so everyone had something! I didn't see anything online, but when I went in and asked the bakery if they could do it (after trying an ATROCIOUS beet sugar vegan smash cake at a local bakery that tasted like sawdust and unwashed ass) they were more than happy to figure something out, especially since I just wanted something simple (no decoration- just a strawberry cake). We're actually vegetarian, but use vegan if we can't find a pasture raised/cruelty free version of something locally, so it's easier to just do vegan most of the time.
Wow, that's great
Pregnancy and early childhood take a ton of energy, but I have more energy for other things as the baby becomes less dependent on my body. I'm still exhausted from poor sleep but it's different for me than when my body was waging war with a placenta and an entire life was growing inside me. I would focus on optics and doing what you have to do to get through.
Yeah I agree the problem is with her journalism. She starts with a premise then posts on social media looking for examples to back it up, ignoring all counter examples. Her stuff on parenting often lacks nuance as a result. I think the reason why BS focuses on her lack of children is that they feel she’d more naturally “get it” if she had kids of her own. All of this stuff she focuses on, which seem so crazy to her childless eyes, would make a lot more sense in context. Parents understand through long experience (starting with the seemingly endless sleepless nights) that drudgery and joy are flip sides to the same coin.
It's almost like many things in life that are hard are still worth it
Since it's just three days, I would go for it. Three days that don't go well wouldn't affect your supply in the long run and baby will let you know at night if it wants to nurse directly for more calories. Agreed with the others that your mom might be willing to be childcare. It wouldn't be the most fun for anyone, but just three days sounds doable to me.
Everyone has slip ups because it's so easy to do. These diets are hard and you are not a terrible mother
Hahaha it’s just such a dumb thing to complain about! Like think of what a normal person would likely include in a goody bag and it’s all little tiny things like erasers or bouncy balls, little Pokémon things, little not wheels..or candy. I don’t even know what one would put in a party favor bag that would be appropriate for a baby to have because baby toys are huge!
Damp Cheerios and stale puffs
"Sweetly condescending" reminds me of
😆 I have no personal experience, but I know people who have had both puppies and babies that thought puppies were harder 🤷♀️
i have been steppparents lurking at the advice of some here (good advice, it has some really terrible people (and some seemingly lovely/mistreated ones! so many shitty husbands)), and i am feeling...uncomfortable about the way they talk about how it's impossible to love non bio children because you need a bio connection for love? There was this post the other day about if you could ever love stepkids like your own (already a dumb question I think--no 2 loves look the same), and so many people being like no eww never, i don't have the special bio hormones you need to love a kid with them, it's wholly unnatural to love another woman's offspring, etc. Like, I have never had a baby and I am not a mom or step mom. But I feel fairly confident that people are 100% capable of loving children they didn't birth? How on earth is it unnatural?
If people can whole heartedly love creatures they care for of other species, they can definitely love children that aren't biologically theirs. So sad for those kids!
I would use her as backup care when baby is sick or maybe wants a special fun day with Grandma, and for additional babysitting as needed.
We take an afternoon off and send her to daycare the next day.
Companies will give that line even when the economy is booming 🙄
Lol it's not unprofessional to give notice, but what a manipulative thing to say!