News from pyrofemme














Oh, you want my parking spot?

An amazing showing.

When you come across a feel-good thing.

Shows the Silver Award... and that's it.

Let's sip to good health and good company

Laugh like a supervillain

[Happy crab noises]











All types of drywall and concrete anchors

A glittering stamp for a feel-good thing

Gives 700 Reddit Coins and a month of r/lounge access and ad-free browsing.

Shows the Silver Award... and that's it.

Thank you stranger. Gives %{coin_symbol}100 Coins to both the author and the community.

Thank you stranger. Shows the award.

The treasure at the end of the rainbow. Gives the author 800 Coins to do with as they please.

When you come across a feel-good thing.



  1. I like MrBallen a lot, too. Also, in the same genre: That Chapter.

  2. Wear more clothes. My boyfriend wears jersey shorts and sleeveless t shirts year round. The last 4-5 years I've kept the thermostat at around 60. I keep a wool comforter over me if I sit at the computer for any amount of time. He bitched a lot the first year, but now wears sweat pants and sweat shirt over his shorts and t shirt.

  3. I'm an old woman, living with an old man, and we have grown to depend on the local food pantries. We have two in our Very Small Town, USA. Tonight we had meatless chili with cornbread. Last night we had black beans with rice. We had to provide an estimate of our combined income to qualify at one, but we didn't have to bring in records, or anything that proves we live in our small town. The other one is done by a mega church, and I think they get most of their stuff from groceries-- I see more 'brand names' in their box. The first one is sponsored by.. maybe a government entity, or maybe an NGO. They have rules for what we get-- it cannot have added sugar or food coloring. A lot of their canned things and pastas are from an LDS group. We so appreciate it.

  4. This is easy. Farm improvements. Farm house improvements.

  5. I would stop trying to initiate any contact between your daughter and his family. If grandmother wants access, allow it if it's a convenient time for you. Do not change your plans to accommodate any of them. If you have a good father for her now, maybe she doesn't need a mean mouthed convict being called daddy too. Why do you care what he says? Live your best family life and let go of them.

  6. Arborvite trees are fast growers and make a perfect fence.

  7. Nursery owner here. Arborvitaes mature to many sizes. If going this route, be sure to find a cultivar that fits the size you need. Some can be 10' in diameter, and if you've only got 3' to work with.. not great. The beauty of arbs is that there should be a good size for almost any application. Some are small and round, some are tall and xmas tree shaped. Also, if you're further south than USDA zone 6, be sure your choice is solidly hardy. A lot of arborvitaes are more suited to colder climates, and hot, droughty areas will fry them.

  8. In 2 years you'll be free as a bird. Start working for your move now and save every big you can. I'm a quietly vengeful person, myself. so they had no idea I had thousands stashed. Start casually going to thrift stores to see what kind of stuff you can get. Quality and cheap. Don't start buying stuff, just get an idea of the ebb and flow in places like that. You can feather your nest in any style, when you get the ideas about thrifting. Lots of videos, if you need inspiration.

  9. You're not doing anything wrong if you're being careful, that's all you need to do. I plant sit for one competitive gardener--her landscaping is incredible. She has barrels around in her gardens filled with water at least 24 hours before she dips her waterers in to water them with water has sat to lose the chlorine and the roots are shocked by icy water. Something like that might work for you too.. and dip your watering can in the trough. You honestly waste NO water.

  10. And that I don’t fall into the beautiful, hot or sexy category apparently I have a non interesting face to look at lol

  11. I've never been the classic beauty. I dress like a farmer, or a fat old hippychick. Jeans and flannel, or long denim skirt with VERY deep pockets and t shirts. My hair is white. I'm voluptuous, not toned. I don't wear make up, and I don't shave. Anything.

  12. I married, at different times, 2 extremely wonderful men. Both died of cancer. I will not marry again. I know I didn't give them death sentences, but ... I don't want another husband. So Jim has lived with me since '13, Yes I found him on OKStupid, as we called it. He drove 16 hours to reach my farm. He had a pair of chickens in a coop in the back of his van, a huge dog in his van and the fattest cat I've ever seen. Once he turned them loose here on my farm.. he was IN.

  13. Also I've found that even the best rechargeable vibes break after a year or so, depending on how often you use it (for me it's everyday lol)

  14. The first vibrator I owned was corded.. but the cord was only 4' long, and it said not to plug it into an extension cord.Honest to god I'd lay on the floor as close to the outlet as I could comfortabley get...

  15. I played piano, bassoon, and clarinet for hours, for years. This was while I was in school, so I lived at home and my whole family got to listen to me. We lived in a nice neighbourhood with houses separated by substantial yards. Thankfully no one ever complained. My late husband was a piano player who spent the little amount of time he was home and rested playing his grand piano.. and then got into keyboards of different keyboards: a Fender electric piano, a Hammond B3 and finally a top of t he line KORG.We lived on the farm at the end of the road, without neighbors, so that's worked out.

  16. I don't mind walking to my car at Walmart. At least I can remember where I'm parked. Last Christmas season I noticed 3 skeezy dudes standing just off to the side of the entrance, sharing a smoke. ugh. I walked a wide berth around them. Then I noticed some elderly people driving slowly past and one of these skeezix approach their car and pointed to a car parked very close to the entrance. It seemed like they were negotiating. The old folks drove around the lot and came down the aisle where the dudes waited.. and one of them backed their car out of a close spot, someone else took cash from the driver.. and the old folks got a close up parking spot.

  17. My 95 year old mother did this to me 3 months ago. It validated to me that I WAS treated differently than my siblings, and she knew when I was a toddler she was doing it. It didn't change anything, really. Maybe if she'd been able to own it 40 years ago..

  18. I moved 5 hours from my crazy family. The road only runs in one direction-- in front of ME--none of them ever want to drive to my farm. I also screen my calls. If I HAVE to talk to someone I anticipate will upset me, I practice saying my piece out loud, in front of a mirror. The more of myself I can control, from my vocal tone to my facial expressions, the more in control I feel... of course! I AM more in control. My childhood default to my disdainful family was the hope for affection. I STILL want that, but at 65 I know I'm not getting it from any of them, so I make sure I'm stoic. Yes, they know I'm not invested in them any more. I do not care, and neither should you.

  19. Garbage piled outdoors attracts mice, rats, other vermin. It's a code violation.

  20. Hahahaha to the frozen sausages. I am keeping a log and have motion detector cameras set up now where I get a notice if she steps outside her house on my side.

  21. I'm an old woman and have farmed for decades, and have used electric fence for decades. I've noticed that most of the pet sites are offering electric fencing for dogs now. YOU have dogs. Fence your side yard with electric fencing, even if you never put your dog in it. You *could* put your dog in it, and then you'll be ready. If your neighbor has never seen electric fence before, watch from your window as she figures it out. It will be delightful, I'm sure. Even if you only put one strand of wire up, she will have to carefully.. very carefully.. step over it to access your yard. It will be nearly impossible for her to get her mower through it. And you know.. it's NOT aimed at her... you're thinking of moving your dog out there.. Once you have broke the neighbor to your electric fence, just like livestock, you don't have to keep the energizer ON. Just the visual reminder is enough to keep the pigs in or out.. I meant neighbor.

  22. I can teach you, but it wont be cheap and it won't be easy... heh.

  23. I have seen MLMs go into a church congregation like a wrecking ball. It tends to be for awhile very useful to spread in a congregation since those in such a group tend to be rather close to each other and share some common beliefs. And there are also built-in networking effects for something like an MLM to spread very rapidly...especially if membership rolls are published anywhere and used for marketing.

  24. are you, by chance, referring to essential oils?

  25. I would love to see someone at a restaurant say the combo comes with a free drink with the enthusiasm of someone excitedly telling me all my dreams will come true. Just absolutely frothing at the mouth excited over fries and shakes. I'd tip them $50 bucks every time.

  26. Someone tried to rope my husband and me into a MLM scheme. The acme was that IF we were good enough, we'd enjoy resort prizes and "walk the sands of the world with Pat Boone". At the time it was kind of like being told "if you work your ass off you might win the Grand Prize...!! A 2005 Bonneville coupe!

  27. Oh dear. These older people would rather sit out on their porch and watch the world go by than bury their noses in their phones and ignore the real world around them. If someone breaks into your home while you're out, they will have a description of them. Commenting on guests is rude, though.. it's rude, not criminal. So is neighborhood gossip. If they know Ellie's kid is a latchkey kid, they might also notice if strange people start cruising the neighborhood. They might notice is latchkey kid is stealing hood ornaments off all the cars on the street. Do not ask me how I know about THOSE neighbors. Dinosars from the pre-internet/cell phone days actually talked to one another about all sorts of topics, which includes 'neighborhood news'. If someone was pregnant, everyone else would start watching on their shopping forays for the perfect new-baby gift. They might bake a casserole for the freezer for you, for nights when you just want to eat and sleep. When my husband died, my neighbors mowed my yard for me bc they knew I was buried in funeral details, but people would be coming back to the house. I feel sorry for people who think interest in other people is always suspect.

  28. Even though I am a relic, I have social anxiety. I've dreamed of the Cloak for decades.

  29. I'll do it for you next time, and only charge $100. I'll do it online. Just venmo the money first, and I'll look at them from any angle for up to 20 minutes.

  30. None of them send me into rage. I LOVE malapropisms. One of my best friends is genius at this. I know HE doesn't know he's using the wrong word and I will never tell him. He says "oriental iron work" instead of 'ornamental iron work". He says "Cholesterol" instead of "Colostrum". Today he was telling me about a type of porn he likes.. and he said something so funny.. I couldn't understand him. So he described the acts. It was cuckold. I have no idea what he was saying.

  31. I am a farmer, my girls are literally The farmer's daughter(s). For a long time I raised goats. A LOT of goats. Hauled them to market in big trucks.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may have missed