I'm asexual. AMA

  1. A good question! Mostly just that we aren't "traumatized" or "frigid/prudish". :( We sincerely just don't feel sexual attraction and some seem to take that personally for whatever reason. It's a spectrum of attraction just like any other.

  2. Sorry if this is more of personal and or creepy question, but how does sex go (if you have it all)? I’m aware that a few asexuals do it, although it seems to be for significantly and primarily more pragmatic reasons versus why the bloke at the pub would do it (at least, that’s the impression I get).

  3. These are good questions! My partner is NOT ace but thankfully does not have as huge a sex drive as most guys. I just suck it up and deal with it a few times a month. It feels like nothing and is honestly more annoying than anything because it's usually when I'm trying to sleep. Lol

  4. My son just came out as asexual. He went through a bad depression and after talking to a therapist he told me. I’m fine with it and he jokes about me never getting grandkids (which I wasn’t expecting anyway). I know that he doesn’t like sex but he still wants a romantic relationship. He’s in his 30s, how can he meet other people like him (when he’s ready)? Is there anything I can do to help him? He knows I accept him regardless because he’s my son and I love him. I just want him to be happy and lead his best life.

  5. That's actually a difficult one! Because to me it's just... existing, y'know? Though with a lot more disgust on a daily basis since sex is so forced into nearly all the media we consume. Don't remember the last day I went without cringing hahaha

  6. Not too personal at all! Honestly sex feels like nothing for me. Mentally I'm just ready for it to be over so I can go back to my own agenda--whatever that may be. It's never really a turn on--just awkward and sweaty and gross.

  7. Idk if there's a reason other than my brain just doesn't work that way. :/ I can still appreciate the aesthetic of an attractive person, I just don't want to jump their bones. Haha

  8. Is asexual just straight up no attraction? Or could it be attracted to someone but not courageous or able to act up on it?

  9. Is it hard to date since finding other asexual people is likely rare and your partner will likely want sex? What is having sex with a partner like for you mentally and emotionally?

  10. Luckily for me, I met my first and only boyfriend when I graduated high school and we've been together since. I imagine dating would be really difficult however as a lot of people hold sex to such a high standard/requirement. :(

  11. Since sex is not a necessity in choosing a partner (for most ace folks I think), is gender preference/"sexual orientation" therefore not as important for most ace people? Or do all ace people still have very individualized "sexualities" within being ace?

  12. That part Is still on the spectrum, yes. :) Since we are not aromantic (most of us anyway), we still have gender preferences for romance. I'm considered heteroromantic since I still prefer men, but there are homoromantic and panromantic aces too :)

  13. Hmm. I suppose just never making sexual comments would be a hint. Possibly becoming uncomfortable when sex or sexual things are mentioned. The thought of being single doesn't bother them at all. There are many different things but everyone might have different experiences. :)

  14. Have you ever considered that being ace is some sort of mental condition? A hormonal or neurochemical imbalance? Like the drive to mate and reproduce is a driving factor for all life on earth (except maybe sponges or other asexual life) and the desire to do the opposite is.. sorry for the crude choice of wording.. but unnatural? Serious question I’ve always wondered

  15. Oh for sure. I'm a very logical and truth-seeking person so I've thought about it at length. I've come to the conclusion that every person is a cocktail of chemicals of varying strength and amount, leading to a spectrum of mental health, sexuality, and even happiness.

  16. Huh. That's hard to think about. Kind of like imagining a color you've never seen. The only answer that comes to mind is emotional prompts? Like... the feeling of being desired. Something like that, if that makes sense?

  17. I mostly just look for personality tbh. Looks are nice but personality is everything. As for doing, dates and video games are my preference. Lol And has to like dogs. 😂 Or it just ain't gonna work

  18. Not on purpose 😂 In all honesty live action porn just straight up grosses me out and the only lewd content I can stand to stomach is hentai 🤷🏼‍♀

  19. So you are perfectly comfortable around nude people? Of both genders? If there is no sexuality there should be no shame, right? It should be body part as any other...?

  20. It's not so much as "uncomfortable" as it is disgusted. Lol The human body is just gross. But no, overall wouldn't mind our care from a comfort standpoint. But not all aces feel this way--I just happen to be a sex-repulsed one. :)

  21. I'd say it's zero or as close to it as possible. Sex honestly feels like nothing for me. Just a thing in a hole. If I never have sex again I'd probably be grateful.

  22. Yes, we do masturbate and have orgasms, just not the drive to do so all that often. And I have had sex dreams! I always wake up feeling gross and uncomfortable. Lol Like I walked in on something I wasn't supposed to see.

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