WIBTA if I financially cut-off my disabled brother?

  1. NTA. There is a difference between you helping him out (ie, buying a meal for both of you) and him taking advantage of you (ie continuing to buy food with your card when that wasn’t the agreed outcome). It seems he was aware that this wasn’t the agreement, but continued anyway, then got upset when called on it.

  2. NTA, wtf cancel that card ASAP. Like you said he get a check that covers his living expenses and get help from mom. He is completely taking advantage of you and using his disability as an excuse. But just because you have a disability doesn’t give you a free pass to be an asshole.

  3. Woah no he has absolutely no right to be mad at you whatsoever. You shouldn't have to explain that he can't just use your debit card whenever he feels like to order food. It's common decency that you don't use someone's credit card without asking. You did nothing wrong just because you didn't explicitly state that the card was to be used one time only. He should have paid you back right away too. You shouldn't have had to ask for it the very day he got paid to get it back. He should have paid it back on his own without you asking. He stole from you! And now he's trying to convince you that you're wrong here for wanting your money back and being upset that he's dodging you. NTA.

  4. NTA. You said you didn't explicitly say not to use your card, but anyone can pretty easily tell that its obviously not a free pass to order unlimited food because someone paid for you one time.

  5. I know, right? Disabled brother stays home all day....forgets to thaw out food to eat...uses brother's card to order in food...then gets mad and refuses to repay? BS. OP is NTA for now but quickly will become a fool and an AH if he doesn't fix this, cancel his card, put a freeze on his card, and demand the money be repaid.

  6. NTA. He shouldn't have to be told he can't just use your card whenever he wants. He's stealing from you. Also, as classist as this is to say- he doesn't have to eat out twice a day every day. If you bought him groceries, household supplies, helped with utilities, ect- that's one thing. But most people I know can't afford to eat out twice a day. He's taking advantage of the situation.

  7. NTA, he effictively stole from you. Get the card blocked, get a new card. Never trust him again. You may have to write off the money, but defintely don't let him take any more.

  8. please sounds like co-dependency run rampant..common sense and mutual respects dictates that if your family happens to put their credit card info on your food app to use while said member us over for movies and munchies that it would be extremely disrespectful to charge $5.00 bucks much less $600.00. that's an ass kicking for one of my brothers if they had the balls to pull that off...which they wouldn't because we have rules of engagement like not to steal from your unexpected family...smdh

  9. NTA your brother stole from you. It would be more understandable if he had done it out of necessity because he couldn’t afford food. But if he truly had needed food, he would’ve ordered groceries which would’ve costed you a few hundred less, and he would’ve fed himself for the whole month. Instead, he decided to order take out twice a day.

  10. NTA. You don't know what to do, you ask? Simple. Cut him off. I doubt you will ever see that money again. He used you. Change your card. Alert the bank/credit card company that no one can use this card, put a freeze on it or something. Best Brother Friends is sweet and all that but you now see it doesn't work both ways.

  11. I see your point. I guess I just trusted him with something that I shouldn't have. He did tell me he would pay me back on his next payday, and he's taken my card off of his phone, but he is still asking for more money from me. I told him I wouldn't give him any more money until he pays me back the money he owes me.

  12. I don’t understand why this is even something you have to ask about. Your brother used your credit card in an unauthorized way, which is probably actually illegal since you only consented to that first purchase. Cancel your card and tell your bank that there was fraudulent activity on it. Let them know which activities were not authorized by you. Let the bank sort it out with him... and yes, please cancel your card and get a new one with a new number. Yours has been stolen. Ask the bank to refund your money because it’s unlikely that your brother will ever give it back to you. And please stop making excuses for him. NTA but you will be if you keep letting him step all over you.

  13. AUTOMOD The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read

  14. Most definitely nta. I personally think you really need to sit down with your brother and talk with him. Let him know how much this hurt you, not just monetarily but emotionally. If he's unable to pay you back all at once, which I can guarantee you he won't, ask for payments if that's something you are comfortable with. From what it sounds like, you truly love your brother. It's worth sitting down and talking to him. If he continues to have a crappy attitude, get up and walk away. If you walk away and leave without saying anything, if he has emotions, that will hopefully trigger them.

  15. Why in the world did you think he would just magically stop using your card, after getting away with it for so long? Cancel the card or do whatever it takes, for crissake.

  16. Absolutely NTA to just cancel the card. He was feeding himself just fine before this! If he needs some kind of specific help then he can tell you and you can see if you can provide that help; Deliveroo or whatever on tap ain’t that. It’s an incredibly wasteful expensive way to feed someone, apart from anything else - far pricier than buying fresh or using ready meals.

  17. NTA-I get why you haven’t cancelled the card yet, but you need to if you want him to stop using it. It’s too tempting when things are just a click or tap to use. You know his money is tight so I wouldn’t expect to get that money back because even though you aren’t rich (and he knows this), it was tempting for him to be able to buy food he didn’t have to cook and though it was your money, that desire to feel normal like he used to kicked in for him. Forgive his debt to you and cancel that card as your mom suggested.

  18. Please remove your card details from that app immediately. It doesn't matter that you didn't specifically say to him "I'm only putting my card on here for this meal" it goes unsaid and doesn't leave you open to him spending so much money on your card - and who needs to order food TWICE a day and how on earth did he get a bill of $600? Bloody hell!

  19. NTA. Your brother has no right to be angry. He knows what he did is wrong. he’s angry he got caught and that you mom is aware that he is taking advantage of you. Cancel that card and get your money back. Your life is not secondary to your brother and his wants.

  20. NTA. Cut off his access to the account immediately. I'm not sure if your brother will pay you back or if you can recoup the 600 frokm the bank. You might have to accept it's a very expensive lesson about putting your info on the accounts and devices of other people. Tell him you're still willing to take him grocery shopping but thst is it.

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