AITA for charging an 8 year old rent?

  1. Aye, the only way I can see this turning in his favour even slightly is if there's a 'and on his 18th birthday I revealed that I had saved the money for him' plan, but even then...

  2. Yeah there’s much better ways of teaching money management. Split the money into buckets. Emergency or long term savings, saving for something bigger like a game console and an immediate fun money.

  3. $25/week sounds like a lot. YTA because it’s also important to teach children that there are some things family does for free. You don’t charge rent, but you also don’t have to pay for every chore either. I’m not gonna pay my kid to pick up his room, but i will if he helps me haul the trash to the dump.

  4. This and please teach him how to save. Please get him a savings account and teach him how to save so that when he is an adult it is not a mystery and he is able to make a safety net for himself.

  5. OP is actually taking rent from their stepson, who is getting monet from their mother I assume? So he feels entitled to his SO’s money?

  6. I also bet he will try this same lesson when his step kid gets a job. You’re legally required to provide basic needs for him till he’s 18. YTA

  7. Even if he took $5 a week and put it in a "Savings Account " to be his at age 18, that would be a different matter. And I think when he gets to $100 he can open an account at a bank. You could save the $5 every week and once a month, take him to the bank to deposit his $20. You could even teach him to look at his statement to make sure all his deposits were in there. You could give him a bit of money at Christmas and his birthday to also be deposited and get relatives to do the same. He could be allowed to withdraw the birthday and Christmas money to spend how he likes, just make sure he deducts it ..teaching him about credits and debits. When he is old enough and works, he can add to his savings.

  8. Right. My now, almost 40 year-old, son saved up for his first Nintendo system by saving Christmas, birthday, and First Communion gift money. We did share with family that this was his plan. So, they gave him a smaller than usual gift and cash. He did an excellent job. I still have the sounds of Battle Chess in my head ♟

  9. Yeah. My dad gave me all sorts of fun sayings to encourage us to save and congratulated me when I saved up for expensive things. All without charging me rent…

  10. YTA for charging "rent", however, having him put that money into a savings account - where he could see it grow - would be a better lesson. And $25 a week? At 8? Lucky kid.

  11. My daughter is 7 and gets €5 a week for her pocket money. She has to make her bed and tidy up her shoes and toys. .

  12. $25 a week is seriously insane for chores. I pay my 6 year old $5 a week currently for his chores, but that's starting his laundry, changing the fitted sheet on his bed, picking up his toys, and vacuuming his room. And I help him with it.

  13. I feel like the whole “this is my stepson” answers all the questions. OP… all those stories about step fathers being horrible controlling people? Yeah… that’s you…

  14. I think the rent offsetting the ridiculously high allowance kind of makes sense, though? I mean, it's weird, but not really AH territory.

  15. Good advice. Some credit unions have special savings accounts for kids. I opened some for my grandchildren. The credit union chipped in $50 on opening and they pay 5% interest. This would be a much better way to teach an 8 yr. old finance. OP certainly rates a YTA, but his motivation might be okay.

  16. Of course he’s the stepfather. I hope it’s ignorance and not the start of some Cindarella Bs.

  17. Yeah, my thoughts exactly, my kids all get $5/week and I pay the eldest extra when she babysits for us. They really don’t have much for chores when they have school and activities going on though. $25/week seems really high.

  18. It's one thing teaching your kid good money management, but above all, a kid, and especially a young kid, needs to feel loved and secure. Treating an 8 year old as a tenant does neither. (I feel sorry for your kid, and the stories they are going to say about their upbringing/parents down the line)

  19. That's such an over-the-top reach. If you read the post, he says he's not actually punishing him for not having enough. Whether you agree with the method or not is an opinion, but witholding a part of their allowance as "rent" isn't even remotely illegal you dork.

  20. YTA. This is completely inappropriate for an 8 year old. If you want to teach him the value of money and saving, continue paying him for his chores and teach him how to save and budget for things he might want.

  21. For real. There are TONS of parenting blogs with infinitely better ideas. I’ve seen parents set up three “funds” - savings for a big purchase, money you can use this week, and “donations” or “investment” or some other small bucket. And then each week you help your child “budget” it and facilitate purchases. No one should just be hanging an 8 yr old a hundo every month )to spend on what???), but no one should also be charging an 8 yr old RENT. The idea is so terribly bad, it would make me question every other idea OP has ever had in his life

  22. I actually also had issues with the payment being tied to chores. I think they should be separate things.

  23. I agree. If OPs intent is to teach his kid about money management, I think as long as OP explains to kid why he’s doing it this way and that the “rent” being taken is being put back somewhere for the kid.

  24. Agreed! Personally I also think kids doing basic chores like keeping their room clean, toys put away and helping with dishes after eating shouldn't warrant payment anyway. Those are things that he should be expected to do as part of the family. It would make much more sense to offer money for other chores that go above and beyond normal expectations. Maybe even something like a 'bonus' $5 for keeping room clean all month.

  25. When I was around 8 I got $5 a week and saved up for my iPod touch. When I turned 11 i saved up for my first laptop. That’s why I’m a money conscious now 22 year old. If I had to pay rent I’d just hate and resent my parents

  26. As the stepfather I’d hope he’d be trying to build a healthy relationship not screw it up from the start.

  27. My father did something similar except he'd out right steal $5-$20 notes from me. Probably not to teach me anything but I ended up being EXTREMELY frugal with money. If there's something I really want, I can't bring myself to get it because "I'll lose money again".

  28. Wild theory: I think the attention this sub is getting with all the tiktok/YouTube shorts have increased the rage bait posts at the hopes of ending up on those shorts

  29. YTA. He is 8, and he is legally entitled to a place to live. He should not have the least or slightest worry about his living costs.

  30. This is exactly was I was thinking like, he is a 8 year old. At that age he should be having fun all day, not paying rent. OP definitly the AH.

  31. Exactly this. I kind of get what the OP is attempting to do but choosing 'rent' as the lesson is incredibly thoughtless. What are you going to do if he doesn't pay? Evict him?

  32. Not to mention the fact that the rent analogy that OP is trying to make here doesn’t even work. This would be like if your boss was also your landlord, and you weren’t allowed to move into a new place. And also your bosslord controls every aspect of your life. Nothing about this situation is similar to managing money as an adult lol

  33. YTA. He's a kid. That's the kind of thing that results in kids cutting off contact and the parent wondering what they did.

  34. I get the feeling OP could be a step parent, "an 8 year old" "the boy" etc rather than my 8 year old or my son. It absolutely not something you should ever be doing to child under 18 IMO. It also not an appropriate lesson for an 8 year old, they should be learn to spend money in an appropriate way not paying rent!!

  35. Alternatively, OP could just give him $80 a month and forget this entire idea. What's the point? The parents are giving the child the money anyway, paying them "rent" is arbitrary and stupid.

  36. It's surprising to me that the combo of "I want to charge an 8 year old rent" and "I'm his step father" didn't immediately make you sit back and realize "Um, maybe this isn't going to look good".

  37. YTA. He's eight. If you truly need the inappropriateness of this explained to you beyond that, I hope his mother lets the court explain it to you during divorce proceedings.

  38. Good money management skills and appreciating the value of money is objectively a good skill. The way OP is trying to go about it is a terrible idea and I don’t think it would have the intended results, but the general concept of money management should be an important skill for all parents to pass along to their children.

  39. Thank you! Some sense. What an utterly ridiculous idea to charge someone rent with money you give them. And to charge a 8 year old rent???? Madness

  40. YTA, he’s way too young. He will live as an adult WAY longer than he does as a child. Let him be a child as long as he can so that he CAN appropriately progress thru the stages of his life. It’s a good lesson, when he’s 14.

  41. YTA. You might actually be the biggest one on here. Who even are you? Stepfather? Father? You don’t even describe your relationship to said child. I hate to break it to you, but that’s child abuse. You are responsible for food, shelter, clothing and (god forbid) love when you have a child. This is the bare minimum as a parent. Go ahead and charge him rent, I can see him being taken away by child services.

  42. You work for a company that doesn't hire pregnant contractors explicitly because they're pregnant? You're a monster. Jesus.

  43. YTA. Everyone else has expanded on why. Let me provide an alternate solution. My mother did this with me but started way too late, could have worked a charm if it had started earlier.

  44. I appreciate the detailed suggestion! I’ll look at this, I like the ideal. I personally have a tri-layered account like you’re mentioning (also unsure on terminology)

  45. NAH. It's just a way to teach kids to budget and save. Help prepare them for adulthood. They can have anxiety about that too as kids. I have had my kids ask when they were younger "how do I pay bills?", and "How do I pay taxes? How do I do my taxes every year?". And they don't have classes in school that teach the basic stuff.

  46. Honestly don't get all the YTA comments. The kids 8 and getting 100 a month, for doing basic chores that will help him function as an adult later.

  47. I feel bad for this dudes future grandchildren who will have to put 10% down on their Christmas gifts every year starting at age 3. Hahahahaha

  48. YTA - there is much better ways to teach an 8yr old child money management than charging them rent. The fact you don’t come to the conclusion yourself is embarrassing and I can see how you charge an 8 year old RENT! Like wow

  49. YTA. Are you so incapable of managing your finances that you need an eight year old to help with your bills? And "there likely wouldn't be any consequences". That you're even thinking about consequences is completely ridiculous.

  50. Are you serious? Lol. YTA. Kid is 8. If you want to teach money management, then once they hit middle school, have the kid sit down and pay bills with you while calculating out how much has come in and is exiting the account. Have them help manage the household budget alongside you for a month. But do it at like 12? And definitely don't set up some weird allowance thing like this. That's just making things more complicated.

  51. I may be going against the grain but I see it as a good idea if you put the $20 in a savings account for him BUT 8 is still too young so maybe when he's alittle older and can understand your reasoning more.

  52. I would say don't call the $20 "rent." Instead, tell the child he is going to have to contribute to his savings account and let him be involved in the putting the $20 in by going to the bank to deposit it. My Grandpa said to us, when we were as young as 5 I remember, when he gave us money, "Save 10%, Give 10%, spend the rest with Thanksgiving." It was easy to understand and easy to do!

  53. YTA, instead of charging him for rent/bills, encourage him to save some of the money you’re giving him. If you can only afford to give him $80 a month, then just give him that.

  54. YTA. Leave adult things like paying rent and bills to the adults. You're not teaching him anything. You're trying to find a way to not pay him money because you're frugal/penny pinching. He's not even in the double digits and you're sucking the joy out of everything to do with being a kid. 25 a week for doing chores, and not just for existing in your home (which is what most parents do for allowance and give more based on extra chores done) and you want to take 20% of his expenses because you lost your joy in life and want to teach your child to hate you?

  55. He's 8, they don't know or care about rent and other monthly payments. If you want to teach money management at this age, start by making a budget for him. Have a goal in mind for him to save up to.

  56. YTA This won't teach him anything; all your doing is stealing money from children. He is a dependent, all fees for his care should go to his guardian. What exactly is tour relationship with this child?

  57. YTA, dude. Like...what in the Nixon's capitalist ghost are you attempting to teach this kid? Rent? Are you also gonna teach him about market rates for rent stabilization prices? Because while that is useful in the future, for someone in their teens maybe, it's definitely not for an 8 year old! Rent as a concept should not be a thing that minor children, who are supposed to be guaranteed a safe home by their guardians for a number of reasons, are responsible for. And those reasons include being able to develop as a small human without fending for one's self, as well as physical, emotional, and financial security. It's illegal to charge minors rent, and unethical to boot. Kids need to know that their safety and security aren't gonna change because THEY can't make rent.

  58. $25 a week allowance for an 8 year old is bananas. What happens when he’s a few years older? He’s going to make you adjust for inflation 😂 He’ll be getting $100 a week when he’s 16.

  59. ETA you needed to finish your idea of charging rent. Charging rent is not kind to a child that young. Telling him he needs to put $20/month in his college fund will teach him responsibility. It would be even better if you matched his $20/month. That would be a better lesson overall and you wouldn’t be the AH. Just saying

  60. ya know I would say N T A if you put the $80 into a bank account for him so that he has a good amount of money when he's older, set him up for success. He still learns the importance of saving, but more importantly you don't take his money that you promised him. If you don't want to give your kid that high of an allowance, then don't give it to him. Making an 8 yo "pay rent" is only going to give them money insecurity at a young age

  61. If you want to teach him about money, have him set aside some each month and show him how to invest and how money works. He is way to young to understand rent and why his parents aren't supporting him. Instead you can slowly introduce your family budget and show him over time how to manage money.

  62. YTA, your child doesn’t owe you money to live in his home. There are lots of ways to teach money management. You could use a jar system and a portion of his allowance goes to savings, a portion to spending money etc.

  63. YTA. This is such a shit move for a step father to do. Do you see the wording you used here? "The boy"???? "His mother"??? You don't view him as your child or someone you should have any kind of relationship with. You are just trying to teach him how to finance and force a damn 8 year old to do dishes and keep his room (I can't even imagine what this means to you) clean. Scrap this whole thing and let him be 8. Scrap the chores, the money, the rent. My god, scrap the rent.

  64. Idk why people are giving you a hard time OP, it's a budgeting lesson. You could also just pay him a lower amount every month with the goal of putting some in savings and saving the rest up for the next video game or whatever. My parents were giving me an allowance at 6.

  65. You aren't charging him rent. You're giving him $80/month as an allowance, which for an 8 yr old is a lot of money. Good on your for teaching him about bills.

  66. YTA, he’s 8 WTH??? OP pls re read everything you just wrote but.. slowly… bc WHY ARE U CHARGING AN 8 YEAR OLD RENT????

  67. Maybe you should teach him that when you are an adult and you take responsibility for having a child, it becomes your responsibility to house and care for that child until the child becomes an adult - no matter what. ;)

  68. I’m going out on a limb here and assuming this isn’t rage bait. YTA for charging rent to an 8 year old Now, if you tell him you’re opening a savings account in HIS name and you’re depositing a percentage of his allowance every month, that’s different and then you won’t be called an AH by neither your wife nor the internet

  69. NTA. This is a great way to teach children about having to pay rent, and learning to spend their money wisely so they know they can pay rent on time.

  70. I’m going to be honest here. All of the YTA comments either don’t have kids or Thier kids are spoiled. 1: an allowance is a privilege. Any money a child receives isn’t a right but a privilege. You might be right if the money is received from a different source IE birthday gift or given from someone else. But OP is giving the money for an allowance. I don’t see how it’s at all possible for OP to be the asshole for trying to teach the kid about money. He’s 8 but not dumb. He can understand the concept and at the end of the day he’s essentially earning an $80 allowance and not 100. Anyone bitching just really doesn’t understand parenthood. NTA you’re a good dad just trying to do right by your kid. I could see that maybe waiting until he’s a little older as a compromise but honestly, it’d be irresponsible and shitty parenting to just give him so much money with zero oversight and intervention. Your actions will have zero negative consequences, only positive.

  71. NAH. However, I wouldn’t do it this way. My parents gave me $100 a month but I “paid for” my lunches at school. I realize now it wasn’t the case, and really it was a budgeting lesson. My allowance was clearly $60 and lunches cost $40.

  72. OP, seems like you already know you're the asshole. However, if you want to start teaching your son money management (in a less traumatizing way) set different allowance amounts for different chores (1$ for taking out trash, 5$ for dishes, etc) this will teach your son about work/reward. If he decides one week that he would rather spend time with friends and do easier chores, he can do that and get a smaller allowance. If he has something he's saving for he can increase his allowance by doing more difficult chores.

  73. YTA. If you wanted to teach him to save a % of his earnings that would be an appropriate lesson. If he repeates that at school you will end up with cps showing up.

  74. you teach kids about money is save the majority for something you want in the future and spend a little now on things you want now. Open a bank account and take the 8 year old to the bank so they can deposit the money themselves.

  75. I think your motivations are good, but framing it as rent or anything to do with his living costs is distinctly an AH move, and really easily misinterpreted because he is your stepchild.

  76. If you want him to learn about how money works I'd have him invest $20 a month. Set up an account with him and let him choose how he invests it.

  77. …who pays his allowance? You? So you want him to take the money you gave him and pay it back to you? Or does his allowance come from elsewhere and you want to take the money someone else is giving him?

  78. Y'all need to probably have a nacho policy on the kid. Charging an 8yo rent for "living expenses," which it is currently your legal responsibility to provide to him, is the most ridiculous thing I've heard. Wtf is wrong with you? You clearly don't know enough to responsibly raise children so maybe you shouldn't be involved like this. YTA

  79. YTA: Your heart is in the right place in terms of preparing your kid for life, but your execution sucks.

  80. everybody is so quick to give a yta verdict but I think you have the right thought but the wrong execution. you can charge him rent, but take that money and put it into his savings account for when he is an adult. don't take 20 dollars though. take about 10 dollars a month. make sure he knows it is going into a savings account for his future though

  81. My God. You people took an idea, that a man had, to start teaching the child about money management and turned this man into a child abusing monster.

  82. Might I suggest money management lessons by including him in your own bill paying adventures? My son is 14 now and I sit down with him on bill paying day and I show him my paychecks and explain how many hours away from him it takes me in order to pay each bill, and then I let him help me fill out the forms and submit payments

  83. Credit to you for taking the responses like a pro 😂 YTA for the original idea, but NTA now you’ve reconsidered! Teaching kids to budget is fantastic but having to save up for stuff on his allowance will be more than sufficient for now 🙂

  84. You charge your kid rent and take it back after your agreement and it teaches your kid not to trust a fucking word out of your mouth. He's young and personally I think allowances aren't beneficial. Stress family working together and show what a good relationship and partner is by doing their fair share and having a sense of care instead of demanding payment for everything. Their future spouse will thank you. Reward their commitment to the work. Show that helping out pays off and makes things better overall.

  85. Unless you're putting that "rent" money away into a savings account to give to the kid when they're an adult, yta and your proposition is illegal.

  86. It’s obvious YTA but here’s what this child is actually taking away from this situation - his parents do not provide the basic necessities because he deserves it, he has to earn it. Food, water, hygiene, a safe place to live are all BASIC necessities every human deserves. Eventually he’s going to become afraid that if he doesn’t “pay rent” those basic necessities will be taken away without any hesitation. This will not only affect him as a child but he’s going to have a skewed perception of the world and future relationships. He’s not old enough to comprehend the idea of rent and jfc let him be a kid! Teach him about rent when he’s high school age so he’s prepared for the world and isn’t going into it blind but 8??? Also, $25 seems excessive but that’s just my opinion. Why don’t you teach him responsibility by giving him basic chores and then paying him for extra chores? He’s old enough to tidy a car or weed without those being regular daily chores, and it will be healthy motivation.

  87. My 8yo nephew has a system where he has allowance which goes into short term and long term savings, and spending money. If he doesn’t do chores, he has to pay mom and dad for them - I think it comes out of one of the savings, it’s kind of complicated.

  88. Sorry, but YTA. It is better to put money in the savings box with your son every month so that he can actively see how his savings are growing. And how He can then buy something that He really wants.

  89. YTA and a big cheap one to boot!! You don't even explain the relationship with this "HE" you refer to but I get the feeling you are not his biological parent. IF you try and charge him rent you will be in more trouble than you can imagine. I hope his Mother leaves you and kicks you to the curb. What right do you have to charge any Minor rent?? His parents are the ones who are suppose to pay for all his expenses for housing, clothing, food, and more. NO Child is suppose to pay rent. Stop being a cheap AH and get a 2nd job if you are so tight with for money!!

  90. YTA. He’s 8. There are ways to teach an 8 year old money management without charging them rent. If you really insist on doing this that $20 should be going into an account to be given to him at a later date.

  91. You are an insane, massive asshole for changing a child RENT! RENT. Do you hear that? F*cking RENT? Not toys or hobbies, but the thing a parent is supposed to provide when deciding to have a child? Are you kidding? How are you NOT the asshole?

  92. Look when I didn't do my chores, I got grounded, but at the same time, my parents also usually just bought me what I asked for as long as they were able. Very rarely was I ever told no and I still learned responsibility. If you're going to give your child an allowance for their chores, knowing how much they tend to give, for you to take chunk back from them, they're not going to learn anything they're just going to be mad at you. They're 8. Not everything needs to be a life lesson. Explain the concept of taxes and rent when they're older and not by a weird example of taking money off of them. I think I get where your head is, thinking this is going to be good for your kid to learn, but bad approach. YTA

  93. Eight years old? It is your legal obligation to provide him food, shelter, the essentials for him to live. No, you can’t charge a child rent. What’s the matter with you? oh, I know – YTA.

  94. What??? YTA!! The kid is EIGHT. He shouldn’t need to help provide for two GROWN ADULTS. Also you’re not even his parent. Butt out and let the kid be a kid. Jfc.

  95. YTA, if there are no consequences for not paying rent than he learns nothing. Allow him to keep his money but have him purchase his own wants, if he wants to see the newest movie he can cover snack or tickets. If he doesn't want dinner, fine he can cover his own door dash order, etc. Eventually he'll understand the value of his money and learn to save accordingly

  96. Maybe instead of calling it rent, call it savings. Where he can choose to put a minimum of 20$ into a minor account. Encouraging to put more can be a thing but I the idea you have is a good one! Application of this is what is tricky

  97. YTA. When you have a kid, you take on the obligation to provide for them as best you can. Saving up for special things, sure, teach the kid to save. Where would it stop? Is the kid going to pay for groceries? Their portion of the electric and water? Contribute to internet expenses?

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