AITA for demanding my step kid pay me back for my golf clubs, or I’ll never give him another dime?

  1. This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.

  2. NTA but the bottleneck is not Drew. It's Kayla. She's the one who has adult level money, and she's the one who is refusing to pay you compensation for what her son did. Correct behavior on her part would be to pay you herself rather than making Drew do it... and then to discipline Drew in whatever way she, as his parent, believes is most likely to teach him to behave better in the future.

  3. He sold those clubs. Note how OP doesn't say anything about damage to the kid's car. How'd clubs get stolen out of his trunk? Who even knew they were in there? Is that all that was "stolen"? Kid sold those clubs.

  4. File a police report, contact your insurance, get them to pay for the clubs and go after mum for damages who is responsible for the minor.

  5. I agree. And OP should tell dear Kayla that if she doesn't fork over the money for replacement there's always the option of calling the police and having Drew arrested for theft. 3k, isn't that a felony?

  6. Yikes this is bad. Kayla totally owes OP the money. You don’t get to have it both ways. Split finances but forgive expensive mistakes. You’re not a father figure but your family. This is not how it works.

  7. I'm hung up on the whole 'he's family's bit, cause it seems to me that Kayla made it very clear from the start that wasn't really the case. op is not a father, or really even a father figure and that was exactly what Kayla asked for.

  8. THIS. As a kid of divorced parents and having Stepparents I would never get something of theirs without asking. And if I had fucked something up my mom would 1- ground me 2 - pay it back and make me pay her back.

  9. Exactly this. Drew is a kid with no money. Mom doesn't want him to give up sports for a job. She wants Drew to work off the money, great, he can work to repay his Mom when SHE pays the three thousand. I am not so sure she didn't let him take the clubs.

  10. THIS ONLY THIS! OP, I feel bad for kids who have mothers like Kayla. The real world will deal with them hard one day because they were raised to be irresponsible. Please let Kayla read your post. The woman needs a wake up call. Definitely NTA

  11. Exactly. If he’s going to “work it off,” then she should be satisfied that he will work off $3k worth. She should be out of pocket until then not him

  12. Either OP has to fork over $3k coming from his personal finances, or Kayla has to fork over $3k coming from her personal finances. Why does she think it is more just for him to do so than for her to do so?

  13. He should tell her his other option is filling an insurance claim, of course, that will require a police report.

  14. Agreed! 100%! After 6 years, there is NO WAY that Drew did not know how important OP’s golf clubs are. Kayla should have taught her son some respect (asking permission before just taking something) and since she insisted that OP is not a father figure, it’s no different than stealing clubs from anyone else. He stole them. He didn’t bring them home. He is responsible. If mom wants to baby him, fine, but she’s out the $3k. She needs to pay back OP.

  15. I would present it to his wife like this. Her kid took $3k from her to go play a game with it. It got stolen. She is now out $3k. Thats what happened. But it shouldnt be on OP to lose the $3k. It should be on the mom. From there she can decide if she’s okay with eating that cost.

  16. This. She can't tell OP to not discipline her child and then not take responsibility for him when he screws up and can't fix it. If you have split finances and drew can't pay, Kayla owes you for the clubs.

  17. You are not to parent Drew. You are not to discipline Drew. You are not to be a father figure to Drew (and by extension not family).

  18. Exactly. Would she feel that way if it was one of his friends that lost them? Would she expect his friend or friend’s parent to replace them? Suddenly it’s not an issue because it’s her kid? Hard NTA.

  19. What frustrates me, a non involved party, is that the mom lets her kid get away with stealing and losing something that is $3,000. Bet her punishment is a month of being grounded. That "hard labor" better be some hard a** labor if anything.

  20. This right here OP, you need to back track your original way of getting repaid and be a bit blunt here. He stole the tools of your hobby that meant as much to you as having kids would have. Since you are not Drew parent in any capacity, Kayla or her husband needs to own up to the fact their son has caused $3,000 worth of damages and pay up to make it right. Don't let them pull the "bUt fAmIlY" card.

  21. That’s literally what you’re asking her to do, to repay you for the damage her son did to something valuable. She’s responsible for it. NTA for sure, and she doesn’t get to draw the line that you aren’t his family but then use it as a shield.

  22. NTA. This is absolutely the way I feel. Also, she doesn't get to throw in the family card when it suits her. She pulled that outta the deck a long time ago.

  23. Also. No way the stuff was stolen by a stranger. OP mentions no damage on the car or anything that makes it sound like it's been broken into. I bet Drew (and his friends possibly) stole and sold the equipment.

  24. Otherwise, divorce is the way. OP’s wife made it clear that OP is not the father figure. Ever. But when it came down to paying for the consequences of her son, it’s “omg we are family!”

  25. Same here. Any damage to the car? Not mentioned so I assume not. Someone got the golf clubs out of a locked trunk but didn’t damage the car. 🚩🚩

  26. NTA. She doesn't want you to treat Drew like your son until it benefits her. He is 16 - that is more than old enough to know not to take other people's belongings without permission and damn sure old enough to replace things he breaks or loses. honestly, I'd tell Kayla SHE won't be getting anything from you either until the debt is paid off.

  27. heyo 15 year old here, thought i would chip in- he is being an idiot on purpose. it isnt a punishment just compensation, and he definitely knows not to do shit like this. i bet he got 3k in alcohol and shit for a fun night with friends.

  28. NTA. He stole your clubs and he owes you the money. You said you called the cops. Are you pressing charges against Drew. You should if he’s not willing to pay you back.

  29. NTA and I would check local pawn shops. Unless the trunk shows signs of being broken into it sounds like they stole them and probably pawned them

  30. NTA. Drew stole your clubs. He needs to pay to replace them. He doesn't get anything until the cost is repaid. That is fair if he is your son, stepson or anyone else. You don't just shrug away 3k.

  31. Or one of Drew's friends stole and sold them out from under Drew's nose. Does OP know anything about Drew's friends? I knew kids in school who had AH friends like that...

  32. Frankly, those clubs were sold for a fraction of their value and that money went directly up those kids noses (or whatever the modern drug equivalent is). Kid avoided OP's calls all day because he knew he wasn't bringing the clubs home with him.

  33. Very possible, but also possible a kid left them at the course and made up the story of them being stolen to partially cover his ass

  34. I could see if he forgot a single club on the course. I've left a club behind only to realize later when someone comes up to me.

  35. NTA, your wife needs to fork over money if her son is unable to. Her son, her issue, she and your step son share financial obligation. Your plan of stiffing your step son is awful though.

  36. I'll go with NTA just because the conditions about you and his relationship were set way before this happened. You are not a father figure to him and he is not your son, so there isn't really any reason why he shouldn't pay for something he took from you and lost. He is not a small kid anymore, so he should knowswhat he did is wrong and it's his fault. It's the consequences of his own actions. The adults responsible for him are your wife and his dad, so either Drew or them have to pay you.

  37. NTA. I guarantee Drew knows more about what happened them. Also, check with local pawn shops. Though it would be an AH move to a lot of people, I would consider ending the relationship over this, as Kayla's "handling" of this matter speaks volumes about how she values you.

  38. Not only that but Drew sounds like a kid with pretty malicious criminal tendencies and fuck knows how things to escalate with a kid like this. It’s deeply concerning.

  39. INFO: how sincere was Drew’s apology? Did you feel he actually had remorse for taking the clubs? Since others suggested in the comments: do you have any doubt that the clubs were actually stolen from his car (vs him leaving them at the golf course or even selling them)?

  40. First, NTA. Anyone who takes something that they never asked for permission on and then loses it should pay you back. How they pay you back (working it off, errands, cash, etc) can be up for debate. However, I will say you are TA to yourself. Why did you sign up for this marriage/relationship? Yes, the stepson has a dad but guess what, you're the stepdad. Why did you allow yourself to be in this quasi-stepdad relationship. You're never supposed to discipline but then you financially still support him by saying he gets money for gas, dates, foods etc. So you've allowed yourself to be a financial stepdad but you get no say in discipline? I'm not one of those crazy "you need a divorce" people but I think you really need to re-think this relationship on roles and responsibilities.

  41. NTA this is the agreement Kayla made. Drew stole your clubs. Either they can replace them or deal with the police. It was theft. Whether Kayla or Drew pays is irrelevant. One of them needs to replace the clubs. Now. The clubs didn’t just disappear. Either Drew sold them or he got rid of them to punish you for spending so much time at golf. Either way the kid has issues that aren’t being addressed.

  42. On top of everything else..."She is saying that drew can’t get a job because of sports." is complete bullshit. Good luck with this whole arrangement. NTA.

  43. NTA- I would assume that he is atleast aware how important golf is to you. It was very inconsiderate of him to not only use your clubs without permission but to then loose them and not seem to care that he did so. Your wife made it very clear she did not want a father figure out of you so do just that. Worry about you and her and treat him like a roommate. No gifts or anything if he asks why you didn't get him anything just say you're not his dad and to go ask him. You're obviously not going to get your money back from him or your wife, atleast not without causing some serious drama so let it go. Get yourself some new clubs and a gun safe. Put your clubs and anything else you don't want him touching in the safe.

  44. NTA I bet he sold them. I would honestly file a police report for theft, call around to local pawn shops, and then sue her in small claims court and also rethink this relationship. Funny how you are suddenly “family” when before, you weren’t considered family. It’s VERY telling of how the future is going to go if you stay in this relationship.

  45. NTA- When I did something expensive stupid, like in criminal court expensive stupid, my Dad had to get a lawyer. My Dad, my BIOLOGICAL Dad, made me pay him back every penny. I was the same age as your step son. So I gave him EVERY paycheck I made, he took what he wanted, gave me a bit to spend, and that's how it went until he was payed in full. This is EXACTLY how family treats family, especially the young ones who fuck up every now and then, and better YOU discipline them than the cops. This is BIG BOY jail time he could face if it was ANYONE else, but you. He needs to understand the gravity of this situation, and if he has to lose his hobbies to make it right, well, can't play sports in a jail cell. This is Felony Theft, a FELONY, NOT a vase in the living room. He's getting off SO light.

  46. ESH. If you don’t want kids, don’t marry someone with a kid. If you don’t want someone to parent your kid, don’t remarry. While Drew is still a kid and the part of his brain that controls impulse control and right/wrong is still developing, he’s still old enough to be called an AH for basically stealing. I think the real problem here is between you and your wife. She doesn’t want you to discipline Drew, yet she doesn’t want to do the discipline that fits the crime. However, you don’t want to be a parent but are unwilling to accept her parenting decision and are basically “adding on” punishment. I don’t know what your wife’s relationship is with Drew’s dad, but maybe he should be consulted on the punishment? I do agree that payment is necessary, but if you don’t want to parent and your wife isn’t willing to, coparenting probably needs to be considered.

  47. I'm so glad seeing a few ESH. "Don't want kids" gets involved with a woman who has kids. And what's wrong with a woman who would be ok and encourage her husband and son basically be people who merely tolerate each other?

  48. It sounds dodge as. Why not file a report for stolen clubs. Get Drew to come with you and he can describe what happened.

  49. I actually like that idea. I'd bring him to the police station and make him give his account of where he was parked and what happened. If he was parked in a public spot, might be able to review security footage to shed light on things and see if the story pans out. And, if his car insurance covers break in's , he can file against his insurance. (They might not if it is due to negligence.) It's plausible that he was being irresponsible and didn't make sure that the car was locked up. A thief could've easily walked away with them.

  50. What Drew did would be considered grand theft...NTA call the police and see how quickly he comes up with the money or rather yet his mother.

  51. NTA. Highly doubt clubs where stolen. Looks like Drew needed some $$$. Or...how does Kayla feel about all of that golfing...might be cynical to think this but ...could it be that it was not Drew but Kayla that got rid of the clubs and she is not into punishing him bc he is covering for her?

  52. So….she has made it clear you are not to be a father figure/have any say in Drew. You have split finances….but when it comes to money for Drew she is happy to let you fork it over and when it comes to Drew oweing you….suddenly your one big happy family and you should just shut up and take it? This doesn’t sound like family, it sounds like your their ATM

  53. And THIS is why not treating a step child as if they are ACTUALLY YOURS (whilst respecting boundaries and their bio parents) is a problem...

  54. NTA - Your wife should repay you the money, no questions asked. Though I will say, you probably need to take some time to just get level headed again.

  55. Gambling sounds more likely. Everyone is saying drugs but a lot of sports drug test. I'm not saying no way but sports are frequently linked with gambling.

  56. Op already said he won’t file charges against Drew cause it would cause a lot more issues and a lot more money than the 3k he’d get back so I can’t blame him for that.

  57. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read

  58. You are not the Asshole and some people need to take a step back and relax. First of all, OP talks about Drew as overall a good kid and he's like an older cousin type relationship. Based on this, I believe that Drew did in fact take your clubs and they were lost or stolen. The reality is that 16 year old boys are morons and they don't think. While I'm sure he knows you love golf, it's doubtful he knew that your clubs were 3K+. I'm sure that spur of the moment his buddies asked him to golf and he thought using your clubs was no big deal.

  59. NTA - if Kayla wants to go for the route of having Drew work hard to repay the debt then she should PAY YOU THE 3K and have Drew work hard to repay her the 3k she had to spend for paying you the missing items.

  60. No. Don't let this go! My uncle is pretty serious about golf and his clubs were around $4K. Hell no. If he was your bio kid, would you be writing this off? I don't think you would. He stole them from you and then someone got in his trunk? I don't really buy that story. NTA. He can't get a job because of sports and mysteriously your easily resellable clubs went missing?

  61. My son stole a bunch of shit from stores when he was in the 7th grade. Several computer mice, lighters, matchbox cars, a camping tool box, a bicycle headlight, etc. I made him write apology letters to me and my SO for embarrassing us, and he had to personally apologize and return the items to each store. I paid for the items as we went. It was brutal. With each purchase of items he didn’t get to keep, he got more and more teary eyed. He knew I didn’t have the money to shell out for his thievery, but it was the right thing to do. I made a spreadsheet of costs and photocopied the receipts on it. Then came the hard labor for my son. He couldn’t work. Hard labor was the only choice. I wouldn’t allow him to be paid anymore than a certain dollar amount per hour, and no one was allowed to “tip” him. He worked for grandparents, his dad, family friends, and neighbors. When he brought the cash home, I marked it off on the spreadsheet. Slowly but surely he made headway. It took him almost 4 months to repay everything.

  62. Op threw in the idea of Drew getting a job and the wife said no because he has “sports”, so where does that leave them? Doing chores that any other 16 year old already does is not a punishment, nor will it teach him anything. And on top of all that; it won’t get OP the money he lost. The mom needs to come up with some way to pay for it herself.

  63. NTA. If he had taken his friend's dad's clubs and lost them. Your wife would pay for them. He pays you or she pays you. She can discipline him as she sees fit, but the wronged party should be made whole or as close as possible. That is just a basic life lesson.

  64. Info: how'd the clubs disappear? Was the car broken into? Damage to the trunk? Something smells off about how they disappeared. I'm not unsure he didn't sell them given his age and lack of job.

  65. you’re a total asshole in general and you’re handling this like a total dick, but you’re not wrong for wanting reimbursement.

  66. ESH. You and Kayla are both AHs for how you’re handling it(although she is worse) and Drew is an AH for taking your expensive equipment without permission.

  67. Why is everyone assuming drew stole and sold the clubs? You literally know nothing about him and had he a past of stealing or anything of the like OP wouldve mentioned that

  68. NTA. Drew is old enough to suffer the consequences of his actions. Besides everyone knows you don’t take anything without asking. OP, taking your clubs was not a mistake. It was stealing. Stand your ground OP! Drew knew his mom would not make him man up!

  69. NTA. But where is Drew in all of this? Does he understand that what he did was wrong? "Borrowing" someone else's things is actually theft. Leaving them in the trunk of a car is begging for them to get stolen, especially when others knew they were in there....(I'm betting it was an inside job). Has he apologized? Has he offered his own ways to repay you? It sounds like your solution is the only way to fix this but I foresee more problems ahead. Kayla needs to step it up.

  70. If you wanted to really be an AH, you could charge him with the theft since he took them w/o permission. Maybe wife should look at it from that perspective. Otherwise, NTA.

  71. NTA. Drew is a thief and I have little doubt that they were sold. I'd take a look around the house and make sure anything else of value has been secured before something else is "borrowed" and "lost" when the golf club cash runs out.

  72. Are we sure the clubs were "lost" and not "sold" or given to someone? If it was stolen, the car should have some damage. I wonder if there's more to the story.

  73. NTA. But I think Drew is still getting off easy to be honest. I personally think he should actually be paying you back the money and not Mom to the rescue.

  74. Problem is that the insurance company will pin the loss on Drew -- who at a minimum took the clubs without permission and lost them mysteriously, and may have been in on the theft -- and losses caused by intentional actions by household members are almost never covered.

  75. NTA. The clubs weren't stolen by some random person. One of his buddies has them, or they completely trashed them doing stupid teenager shit. He's old enough to be held accountable for this, and there is no excuse for wife to insist you let it go. 3k is not "let it go" money, and it certainly is far too much to be made up for by doing chores he should already be helping with.

  76. They are trying to bully you into silence. He broke a huge boundary and she's letting him. Let them know that. If she says "I don't think it's a big deal," tell them that they don't get to decide how to treat your possessions . Ask what they think appropriate recompense would be and reiterate what you think would be appropriate. Be explicit and tell them this can't happen again.

  77. INFO: if the clubs were stolen from the car, a police report was made, why don’t you file an insurance claim with your car insurance? Doesn’t your policy cover theft?

  78. NTA, he didn't lose them, he hocked/sold them and made up the transparent bullsh*t story to cover himself. He did not make a "mistake." This was deliberate on his part. It is called stealing.

  79. NTA. I’m from a golf family (not me, personally). There is no excise whatsoever for this to have happened. Make the kid, or mom, pay to replace the clubs. This isn’t an issue of a 5 dollar item. If mom beefs you over this you aren’t a match. Don’t waste further time with her.

  80. ETA. This is a learning experience for all of you. You learned you are a step father, and kids will do dumb stuff. Kayla and Drew learned that you are willing to hang them out to dry the first time they make a mistake.

  81. NTA Also this may be too far but can you check the local golf course and see if they actually played there? If your step son really pawned them off then my guess is he didn’t take them golfing first.

  82. NTA - a parent is legally and financally responsible for it's children. So if said child does some damage, the parent has to pay for it, age does not matter.

  83. NTA. 16 is more than old enough to know that you don't borrow something without asking/confirming with the owner. Also, you haven't been allowed to be a father to him, has never been more than his mother's boyfriend, but now you're suddenly family, so you should accept minimal punishment because she wants her son to get off easy, and thinks she can just pull on heartstrings that she banned develoupment on, by suddenly saying you now had a parental bond with eachother all this time after all?

  84. NTA. She made it clear that you're not the dad and has no responsibility to punish her kid. She has to pay you back for your stolen equipment. Can't have both ways by saying you have nothing over her kids and then telling you that "you're family" so let go of the 3k worth of equipment. That's BS. If you let go at this one, then the remaining days married to her will always be like this. That you'll have to eat the shit when the kid screw up, and you have no says in how he's going to get due punishment.

  85. NTA. Kayla should pay you the money and then let Drew work the debt off to her if that's what she feels is the appropriate punishment. But you should be made whole.

  86. Kayla should pay and you are NTA. Do you have insurance? Sometimes household insurance covers items outside the house too. You may be able to make a claim. My husband loves golf and he would be devastated if something happened to his clubs. Really sorry for the stress you are going through

  87. Did Drew maybe pawn them. Maybe look for receipts from a pawnshop or ask the kids where he stayed where they pawned Them. Maybe check out some of the local pawnshops

  88. NTA, but I doubt those clubs were stolen from his trunk. More likely he and his friends were dicking around (as 16 year olds are prone to do) and the damaged the clubs. Probably intended to sneak them back in and play dumb, but couldn’t since you noticed while they were gone. Not that it actually matters though because it seems like his mom isn’t big on consequences. Btw, when does she think he’s gonna do all this “hard labor” what with him being so busy with sports?

  89. NTA but everyone else is. Drew for taking them in the first place then "losing" them. Maybe he actually sold them, who knows? Wife for thinking mowing lawn = 3k worth of sports equipment and all of a sudden they are all "family." The line for family was drawn long ago when wife made it clear he was not a father figure and not to discipline Drew.

  90. NTA - you were told in the beginning that you were not to consider yourself as a father figure so that leaves you as just her son’s husband.

  91. I don’t believe Drew went golfing at all. Bet he sold the clubs to pay off a debt or use the money for something nefarious.

  92. NTA. He didn’t treat your property with respect and she doesn’t get to have things both ways if you’re not supposed to be a father figure to him

  93. As a parent, if your kid breaks/loses something that belongs to someone else, then you should pay to replace it. Way too many parents are like “oopsie daisy, that’s too bad” and that’s it. Ridiculous. Her kid “lost” the clubs that HE STOLE so she needs to pay to replace them.

  94. NTA. Decent golf equipment is extremely expensive, you’re now in a situation where you either drop 3K to get similar value clubs again, or you just can’t play golf until that money is accumulated.

  95. NTA. If you don't get to participate with the kid as family, then you don't have to take the shit that comes with being family. Kayla owes you $3K, and her son can pay it off.

  96. NTA. The only people that would have known the golf clubs were there were the kids he went with. One of them stole the clubs. File a police report, make sure to get the names of all the kids that went golfing before you do. I would also call all those parents and let them know that a police report is being filed and if they knew who took them and get them returned completely intact and undamaged you will not file a police report. I would also remind Kayla that if you have to go to this trouble to get them back, a police record will most likely get any and or all of the kids kicked off their sports teams including her son. Tell her give you the replacement cost or you will proceed. She can discipline her son any way she wants then. You might want to give her an option to talk to her son one last time and remind him he may be kicked off his sports teams for this because he did steal the clubs.

  97. Kayla is quite cheeky isn’t she, demanding you have someone live in your house and pay for them but not to have any say in their behaviour? A bit unusual that! You are damn right in making him pay it off. If you’d have been allowed to parent then maybe you’d feel more empathy but you really haven’t. NTA. Unbelievable. I’d be fuming. Very flaky behaviour from them both it’s a total lack of respect from both of them

  98. You WBTA if DON'T follow up with the police reports. You were asked not to interfere in pretty much anything but an emergency, and you sound like you respected that so far. But $3000 is TOO much money to just shrug off. If stepson and friends DID steal them to sell/pawn, what are the chances your the only one they stole from, and not everyone is as passive as you seem to be. Consequences with this kind of thing is very harsh when your an adult, it's better he learns them now.

  99. NTA and Kayla can't have it both ways. First says you're not a father to this kid. You can't discipline or do anything. Kid steals then loses the clubs (wouldn't be surprised if he actually sold them and is using this as his excuse) You obviously want repayment which to be honest is fair. If he did this to a stranger this is what would be happening. Shouldn't be any different. But now that her son is in trouble she is saying you shouldn't punish him because you're FAMILY. So which is it? Are you only family when it's convenient for Kayla?

  100. YTA - I mean you’re married, did you really think that it would always be rainbows and sunshine when you have a stepson you’re “cordial” with. Drew made a mistake and I think it’s okay to let him repay it the best way he can, by doing chores, instead of forcing him to give up sports (something which could help him get scholarships for college). However, you don’t have to give him gifts until he repays all the money via yard work.

  101. The real question is it’s worth getting divorced over $3,000. Because that’s what’s going to happen if you keep on this way, justified or not

  102. ESH.Drew is ofc an AH for loosing your clubs, but it was a misstake, 16 y. o. brains are far from fully developed and not thinking of consequenses for their actions is something 16 year olds do, hard work should be a sufficiant punishment.

  103. I had a stepdad that came into my life at age 10. FUCK OP for thinking he wasn't a father figure to a 10 year old kid, even with a "present" father. I'm an adult now and I look back at that "man" that wouldn't be my dad either; even though I lived with him. He never hit me, but he abused me through this posture and it fucked up my personal relationships until I got therapy to fix these issues....OP, You sound just like him.

  104. The clubs was stolen from you, you should give Drew and Kayla a week to get you the 3k, if not report the theft it to the police. I know you reported it stolen from the car, but that was the second theft.

  105. Bro he sold the clubs or traded them for weed/alcohol/drugs. No way they’re lost. NTA. She wants u to compensate him like a son but thats it everything else u dont get a say?? Fk that. Huge nta. You didn’t do anything wrong. Her response is probably why this kids so entitled the thought it would be okay to take ur shit in the first place. He knew his mummy would protect him from the big bad step dad

  106. NTA Firstly, why did your wife know he took your golf clubs before you did? If she really expects you to never discipline him then who will when he crosses a line against you? She will? Does that she mean she remains sole arbiter for all things drew does?

  107. Fuck your wife ... no not like that - it is her responsibility to pay you back. Her underaged son damaged/stole your property so she has to pay ypu back. Not paying you back shows how little she actuqlly values/respects you and your things. You should reevaluate your relationship with this new information. NTA

  108. NTA. However, based on your agreement of roles and dynamics, Kayla owes you the money. Your concerns end there. How she decides to deal with Drew would be her business. So back off from Drew and stand firm in the fact that Kayla needs to reimburse you for the clubs.

  109. I think you need to talk your wife flat out that since she refuses to pay you back and her son pay her back you are going to press charges for grand theft. Drew did NOT have permission to take your clubs out of the house, so he stole them, then didn't bother to take care of them and he lost them. Your wife told you 6 years ago you were not allowed to parent or be a dad to Drew, and that you couldn't discipline him, now she's going to have to suffer the consequences, Drew's not family, and if literally anyone else took your clubs w/o permission you would press charges.

  110. NTA Drew wasn't "Family". She made it very clear that you would not be there as a father. And to have the balls to lose something he took from you and still have his mother suggest to just let it go. I half suspect the clubs were sold off. Speaks volumes of how much respect you are getting in the family.

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