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I work in a university and this happens to me all the time, but mostly with undergrads. I’m also the only indigenous woman in my department and I absolutely know what OP was referring to with fighting for a seat at the table.
I’m a family medicine resident and I was recently having a conversation with a friend who recently had a baby about pregnancy. She was telling me how terrified she was because she had some pretty serious complications and had to be induced early. Her brother interrupts to say something like 100% wrong and I started to correct him. He goes “how would you know, are you a doctor?” And when I said that I was in fact a doctor and I even deliver babies, he accused me of rubbing my occupation in his face.
A few weeks ago I watched a random man (not a lawyer) start mansplaining to a group of lawyers how federal criminal law works. A couple of people interrupted to say, that's not actually the law, but he just bulldozed through everyone because he obviously knew better. He was going on and on about what a lawyer had argued in a big appellate case just handed down.
I have a master's in history with a specialization in an area of history which typically attracts cis white men. My fucking therapist started quizzing me on basic facts during a therapy session one day. Look dude, I thought we were here to talk about my sexual assault. You want my expertise, you pay me, not the other way around.
I recently graduated from grad school and I wish I had a nickel for every time a barely undergrad boy would try to mansplain the lesson I would be teaching/researching. It’s bad enough that male professors don’t take us seriously but when it’s people who have no experience in the subject, it’s even worse.
I’m a female IT Project Manager. People often direct their questions to a male in the room. Usually my scheduler or accountant. It’s quite interesting to watch them backpedal that
Yup. Another man know it all. SMH. Well at least he had the grace to be embarrassed. I've heard stories where dudes will try and continue to argue even after finding out to try and save face...NTA
What she did wasn’t important, until it was. What did her friends expect her to do, discreetly pass him a business card? Why did they not inform him when he first started pontificating?
This was my take as well. Asking probing questions at first introduction could have saved so much of his own embarrassment, if he had actually listened.
NTA. Whether the paper was yours or not, he should know better than to mansplain things. "You just don't get it" speaks of entitlement and a sense of superiority. In a way, your friends' insistence that you should have told him plays into this idea. Like the problem was just that he didn't know it was your paper. It wasn't. It was that he was being a jerk. That's on him.Edit: "You should have told him your credentials." No. He shouldn't need to know your credentials to not be an ah. You are NTA, but your friends are.
You are right. He could have avoided embarrassment if he had asked her if she had read it, what did she think of this part or this thought, etc. Basically if he had asked her for her thoughts at any point rather than just telling her about it.
I agree with this. I've got a master's in education but when my students talk and try to give opinions on education (other than this is stupid), I listen. People deserve respect, period. Not because their credentials say so. Whether she was an expert or not, his attitude was the problem. They're more upset that he's embarrassed than that he was rude. Sounds like people to cut out.
"You emasculated him in front of evreone" is what I found happens .... I changed a tire for a guy once apparently that is like, the worst offense. We should have waited for the toetruck. Q above.
NTA, OP. But I'm curious about these "friends" of yours who line up to defend the fragility of a mediocre, arrogant man against the mere revelation of accomplishments of a woman of color. Especially when that defense consists of literally telling you that you should have proven your credentials in order to disprove this man's assumptions about you based on how you look.
This is it! OP—your knowledge is sufficient in and of itself. The fact that these “friends” reprimanded you for not letting them know how educated you were is a huge red flag. Who cares how educated you are? They should respect your voice if they respect you as a friend at all!
He also needs better friends. His seem to only want to inflate his butt. Not put him out when he sets himself on fire. Who said "dude it's her paper" and what are they saying now?
NTA. If this came as a shock to him, either he didn’t read it closely enough to be trying to explain it to anyone, or he couldn’t be bothered to pay attention when you were introduced so he maybe could’ve put two and two together himself. (Or, y’know, he could’ve just asked “Have you read it?” before launching ahead on the assumption you hadn’t.)
Not that it justifies any of the rest of this, but with many social introductions being just first name and papers generally talked about based off of last name (and sometimes not even including first names), the one bit of his actions that is defensible would be not realizing that the person he was talking to was a coauthor on that paper on the basis of names given.
NTA - You didn't do anything at all except write an apparently influential article. It isn't your fault that this guy made a fool of himself. It's not your responsibility to constantly assert your credentials to ensure your juniors don't get embarrassed. In fact, if it was me, I would have done the exact same thing you did for the lulz.
NTA. You don’t owe anyone a copy of your CV to get respect. The dude was a jerk, and he proved it. Upon finding out you study the same field, he could have asked you how far along you were, or some other version of that. Instead, he assumed you were below him. You don’t owe jerks a pass.
Wait. He didn't recognize your name?? His mansplaining credentials are seriously questionable. Did he even read the paper? 🧐 I'm wishing your friend hadn't intervened now!
If you ask students who wrote the textbook they use all year many can’t tell you, but a middle author? I can’t tell you the middle authors on some of my papers. Journals don’t even always print them all. Wish I was kidding.
A good portion of social introductions that take place are by first name, and those are often not used academically (certainly not in citations routinely, depends on the journal if they even print them)
NTA. If he found the paper so interesting, he could have bothered to note the authors' names. And then during introductions, check your last name. But him feeling hurt because good one-upmanship failed isn't your problem. I'm curious how many of your friends telling you to apologize are women.
Nobody reads the names of the authors of the papers they read, especially when there are multiple authors. It is essentially useless. The only name worth knowing is usually the last name, who is the professor supervising the paper.
NTA. Keep letting those men embarrass themselves. I’m a woman in IT, the mansplaining feels never ending some days. It warms my heart to know there are women like you out there allowing them to make fools of themselves.
Also, made me wonder- OP picked up that this guy was a master's student, but I wonder if he ever bothered to ask her what her background was or what she was even currently doing in their shared field. Even asking some basic, courtesy questions could've signaled to this doofus OP's qualifications before he insisted on inserting his foot in his own mouth.
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Nta....you don't need to explain yourself to anyone....you politely tried to communicate an explanation and he shut you down...he is embarrassed because he basically got his ass handed to him in front of the writer of the interesting paper
NTA, unless he asked if you'd heard of it and you said no. But if he just assumed you hadn't heard of it or read it (much less written it) then he got what he deserved, IMO.
NTA - If he wasn’t being a patronising AH, then it wouldn’t have been an issue. And he’d still have been incorrect about the meaning of the paper even if you HADN’T have written it.
NTA. You have a PhD and are teaching and doing research. He knew that much and that was enough. He doesn't even have a masters and was man-splaining to you. He deserves every bit of embassment he felt.
Sure, he was rude and disrespectful to you all night because you don't have a penis, but now that his bad behavior has resulted in mild embarrassment on his part, you should totally be responsible for managing his feels. Snort.
You’re NTA but your friend who thinks you should have handed over your resume at the start of the night is just as much of an ass as the dude mansplaining.
Because it happens all the time!! There hundreds of Twitter threads by women giving their experiences with this and then told to coddle the man's fragile ego.
Oh absofuckinglutely not. There would have been no need for you to lay out your credentials for him if he had bothered to listen to you. He went into that conversation with no intention of hearing anything you had to say. Your friends are not being very good friends to you right now.
You have a PhD, and he's not even done with his master's yet. He's totally full of himself. I work in academia too and I've met grad students like him. They love to show off and act like they know more than they actually do. Do not apologize. He owes you an apology. NTA
No. He was being a stuck up snob assuming you don't know anything even though you are in the same field. If it was so important for your friend to have the guy know he could have told him.
NTA. I mean come on, you don't even really have to ask this. No ambiguity here. But damn, awesome story, so I'm glad you asked anyway. Please please please please keep doing this in the future.
Lolllll NTA and good for you. You did not embarrass him, he embarrassed himself by being that way. Oh man, the look on his face must have looked priceless telling you that you are not getting it. It's a good lesson for him to lose some of that arrogance.
NTA. The thing about sharing that you have a PhD or do research in a specific area is that some people will say that you're too proud or flaunting. So either you don't say anything and let people embarrass themself by describing your research back to you or you say something and people accuse you of bragging. It's really a no win, so you just have to decide which one you're more comfortable with.
All I can think of is OP walking up to everyone she meets and saying "Hi I am Dr OP, I have written and co-written x papers on x subject. Nice to meet you."
NTA. It doesn’t have to be your paper for him to be wrong and you to be right. And that was the dynamic in the conversation at that time. He was just wrong, full stop.
NTA. He is the AH to 1. Assume you aren’t really in the same field by testing you, f-ing annoying and 2. Telling you you are wrong about a paper (regardless of whether you are the author or not.) It sounds like he didn’t even ask you about credentials; he jumped to a conclusion about them. You clearly found out his. He suffered embarrassment due to his assumption and not listening. Mansplainers generally get upset and shift blame…because they don’t like to listen and only enjoy hearing themselves.
Nta. Cherish this mansplainers worst nightmare come to life. He'll either do one of two things, either have a cone to Jesus moment & change his attitude for the better or he will stay that ignorant guy that he is. Neither of those decisions impact your life so its no great loss. He f**ked around then he found out, not your fault he was acting a fool. Don't you dare apologize for such a condescending interaction, you rock.
NTA because it wouldn't have even worked. One time a dude started to mansplain my book to me at a conference and when I stopped him to tell him it was my book he did. not. believe. me. Only when another man confirmed it did he believe it was true (I have a gender neutral name, but damn).
NTA and I suspect that if you started the conversation with your credentials (which should be totally unnecessary!), you would be considered an asshole for showing off or something. Hopefully this dude has learned a lesson.
Guessing there was no point where he said, "have you seen the paper?" Or maybe stopped to breathe long enough for you to interject that it was your paper.
NTA. If you did go around explaining your credentials to people off the bat, that would just make you "bragging" and "pretentious" and "full of yourself". There's no winning with people like him. You know that.
NTA. This is hilarious. And you aren’t the asshole. He was being an asshole and the friend who corrected him was kind of an asshole. You were letting him carry on and not calling him out.
NTA. He's wront and why should you have to explain your credentials rather than him just assuming he was the cleverest person in the room. Like if you went in with 'I have a PhD in bleugh, here is my CV' then you'd have been one of those annoying people that is patronising.
NTA. It’s not your job to help mitigate someone else’s potential for embarrassment when they won’t do the bare minimum to avoid embarrassing themselves. Literally all he had to do was ask what you do for a living and have the brain cells necessary to realize that having more education and job experience meant that you, ya know, had more education and job experience than he did. Instead, he decided that a woman of color would be an easy source for superiority feels.
NTA, sounds like guy was so set on talking about himself and what he knew he didn’t even allow you to the opportunity to introduce yourself and your experience properly. Maybe if he let other talk and listened to what they had to say, he wouldn’t have put his foot in his mouth.
NTA. He could have just as easily asked what your reason for objecting to his commentary was. Instead, he said "you just don't get it"? I really hope he winds up in your class one day....
It was a no-win for you.. say something, and you would be accused of bragging or trying to put him in his place. Say nothing, and you're "rude." Better you should let him reveal who he really is.
NTA at all!! These friends of his couldn’t bear to see him humiliated and want to blame you. He was humiliated because he acted like a know it all a h who wouldn’t let you get a word in edgewise. You should have been acknowledged for your talent for writing that paper, rather than blamed for his broken down poor ego.
NO. Women of colour ARE NOT HERE FOR YOU, dudebros. You don’t owe him anything you don’t want to give. He feels shame because he didn’t act correctly. HIS PROBLEM
NTA. He's embarrassed and that's on him. He could have laughed off the blunder or apologised or something. He doesn't do well with being shown to be wrong.
OMG, so much NTA! I know the kind of grad student you’re describing, OP, and seriously, if he’s going to tell you all the knowledge (mind you, he only read it a couple of days ago), by all means. sit back and let him dig his hole. He’s learned a valuable lesson (and maybe you’ve prevented others from having to experience death my mansplaining.). As for your friends—what are you supposed to do when meeting people? Hand them your CV?
NTA. If someone is going to be explaining a paper they should be prepared to acknowledge the author(s). If he had done that he wouldn't have made this mistake.
NTA. It is not your responsibility to prevent him from making a horse's ass of himself. He could have stopped at any point to ask questions instead of just assuming he knew more than you. He didn't. He set himself up, you do not owe him protection from his own foolishness. He can just d!e mad about it.
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LMAO, no, so NTA.
I work in a university and this happens to me all the time, but mostly with undergrads. I’m also the only indigenous woman in my department and I absolutely know what OP was referring to with fighting for a seat at the table.
I’m a family medicine resident and I was recently having a conversation with a friend who recently had a baby about pregnancy. She was telling me how terrified she was because she had some pretty serious complications and had to be induced early. Her brother interrupts to say something like 100% wrong and I started to correct him. He goes “how would you know, are you a doctor?” And when I said that I was in fact a doctor and I even deliver babies, he accused me of rubbing my occupation in his face.
A few weeks ago I watched a random man (not a lawyer) start mansplaining to a group of lawyers how federal criminal law works. A couple of people interrupted to say, that's not actually the law, but he just bulldozed through everyone because he obviously knew better. He was going on and on about what a lawyer had argued in a big appellate case just handed down.
Right?? I hope these same people are texting that dude and saying "It was so rude of you to quiz OP all night on her profession."
Haha, I will speak here about a story with my HS teacher.
I have a master's in history with a specialization in an area of history which typically attracts cis white men. My fucking therapist started quizzing me on basic facts during a therapy session one day. Look dude, I thought we were here to talk about my sexual assault. You want my expertise, you pay me, not the other way around.
There's a reason why it's called "mansplaining." XD
I let them talk as well. It's kind of a fun little game to see how long they can go without stopping.
I recently graduated from grad school and I wish I had a nickel for every time a barely undergrad boy would try to mansplain the lesson I would be teaching/researching. It’s bad enough that male professors don’t take us seriously but when it’s people who have no experience in the subject, it’s even worse.
I’m a female IT Project Manager. People often direct their questions to a male in the room. Usually my scheduler or accountant. It’s quite interesting to watch them backpedal that
It’s your job to teach, not to save people from their own stupidity. This is hopefully a lesson they learn from.
If a man is setting himself on fire, why is it my job to stop it?
NTA, at all. He deserved to be embarrassed, it’s embarrassing to be ignorant, or at least it should be.
1000% agree with this. Sometimes you need to let people embarrass themselves so they learn a lesson.
NTA- Dude got overexcited and assumed that he knew more than the person he just met who's in the same field.
I like the phrase "spilled the spaghetti".
Yup. Another man know it all. SMH. Well at least he had the grace to be embarrassed. I've heard stories where dudes will try and continue to argue even after finding out to try and save face...NTA
But they are never that smart 🤣
NTA
What she did wasn’t important, until it was. What did her friends expect her to do, discreetly pass him a business card? Why did they not inform him when he first started pontificating?
That’s EXACTLY what got me, and that is always my response when someone gets defensive.
This was my take as well. Asking probing questions at first introduction could have saved so much of his own embarrassment, if he had actually listened.
NTA. Whether the paper was yours or not, he should know better than to mansplain things. "You just don't get it" speaks of entitlement and a sense of superiority. In a way, your friends' insistence that you should have told him plays into this idea. Like the problem was just that he didn't know it was your paper. It wasn't. It was that he was being a jerk. That's on him.Edit: "You should have told him your credentials." No. He shouldn't need to know your credentials to not be an ah. You are NTA, but your friends are.
You are right. He could have avoided embarrassment if he had asked her if she had read it, what did she think of this part or this thought, etc. Basically if he had asked her for her thoughts at any point rather than just telling her about it.
I agree with this. I've got a master's in education but when my students talk and try to give opinions on education (other than this is stupid), I listen. People deserve respect, period. Not because their credentials say so. Whether she was an expert or not, his attitude was the problem. They're more upset that he's embarrassed than that he was rude. Sounds like people to cut out.
NTA.
D and D woman?
Yes! What is it with these posts today?
I just finished reading that one!
Yes. I often wonder if most people who do this have narcissistic personality disorder.
el oh el. NTA.
"You emasculated him in front of evreone" is what I found happens .... I changed a tire for a guy once apparently that is like, the worst offense. We should have waited for the toetruck. Q above.
NTA, OP. But I'm curious about these "friends" of yours who line up to defend the fragility of a mediocre, arrogant man against the mere revelation of accomplishments of a woman of color. Especially when that defense consists of literally telling you that you should have proven your credentials in order to disprove this man's assumptions about you based on how you look.
This is it! OP—your knowledge is sufficient in and of itself. The fact that these “friends” reprimanded you for not letting them know how educated you were is a huge red flag. Who cares how educated you are? They should respect your voice if they respect you as a friend at all!
NTA
He also needs better friends. His seem to only want to inflate his butt. Not put him out when he sets himself on fire. Who said "dude it's her paper" and what are they saying now?
NTA. If this came as a shock to him, either he didn’t read it closely enough to be trying to explain it to anyone, or he couldn’t be bothered to pay attention when you were introduced so he maybe could’ve put two and two together himself. (Or, y’know, he could’ve just asked “Have you read it?” before launching ahead on the assumption you hadn’t.)
Not that it justifies any of the rest of this, but with many social introductions being just first name and papers generally talked about based off of last name (and sometimes not even including first names), the one bit of his actions that is defensible would be not realizing that the person he was talking to was a coauthor on that paper on the basis of names given.
Um… was he not trying to correct you first? On something he was wrong about? He embarrassed himself. Definitely NTA.
NTA - So in the natural course of conversation he didn’t bother to ask your credentials? Just presumed to be the big brain of the group.
NTA - You didn't do anything at all except write an apparently influential article. It isn't your fault that this guy made a fool of himself. It's not your responsibility to constantly assert your credentials to ensure your juniors don't get embarrassed. In fact, if it was me, I would have done the exact same thing you did for the lulz.
NTA. Poor man and his fragile ego.
NTA. You don’t owe anyone a copy of your CV to get respect. The dude was a jerk, and he proved it. Upon finding out you study the same field, he could have asked you how far along you were, or some other version of that. Instead, he assumed you were below him. You don’t owe jerks a pass.
NTA He embarrassed himself.
Wait. He didn't recognize your name?? His mansplaining credentials are seriously questionable. Did he even read the paper? 🧐 I'm wishing your friend hadn't intervened now!
If you ask students who wrote the textbook they use all year many can’t tell you, but a middle author? I can’t tell you the middle authors on some of my papers. Journals don’t even always print them all. Wish I was kidding.
A good portion of social introductions that take place are by first name, and those are often not used academically (certainly not in citations routinely, depends on the journal if they even print them)
NTA he got exactly what he deserved. Your friend and dude are TAs.
NTA. If he found the paper so interesting, he could have bothered to note the authors' names. And then during introductions, check your last name. But him feeling hurt because good one-upmanship failed isn't your problem. I'm curious how many of your friends telling you to apologize are women.
Nobody reads the names of the authors of the papers they read, especially when there are multiple authors. It is essentially useless. The only name worth knowing is usually the last name, who is the professor supervising the paper.
HAHAHA serves him right. NTA
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NTA , Humble flex , well played .
NTA. He walked straight into that one.
NTA
NTA. Keep letting those men embarrass themselves. I’m a woman in IT, the mansplaining feels never ending some days. It warms my heart to know there are women like you out there allowing them to make fools of themselves.
NTA
Also, made me wonder- OP picked up that this guy was a master's student, but I wonder if he ever bothered to ask her what her background was or what she was even currently doing in their shared field. Even asking some basic, courtesy questions could've signaled to this doofus OP's qualifications before he insisted on inserting his foot in his own mouth.
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Nta....you don't need to explain yourself to anyone....you politely tried to communicate an explanation and he shut you down...he is embarrassed because he basically got his ass handed to him in front of the writer of the interesting paper
NTA, unless he asked if you'd heard of it and you said no. But if he just assumed you hadn't heard of it or read it (much less written it) then he got what he deserved, IMO.
NTA. He made the assumption that due to you being both a woman and a woman of color that you have no idea what you're talking about.
NTA, it's funny.
NTA - If he wasn’t being a patronising AH, then it wouldn’t have been an issue. And he’d still have been incorrect about the meaning of the paper even if you HADN’T have written it.
NTA those stories make me laugh. Kind of like the Marshall McLuhan scene in Annie Hall.
Wha to wouldn’t give for a large sock with horse manure in it..at conferences.
LMAO! NTA, he dug his hole. At best you could have smiled & said you wanted to see how 'interesting' he found your paper.
NTA. You have a PhD and are teaching and doing research. He knew that much and that was enough. He doesn't even have a masters and was man-splaining to you. He deserves every bit of embassment he felt.
NTA. The guy was being a blustering AH trying to talk down to you about YOUR OWN FREAKING PUBLISHED ARTICLE.
Sure, he was rude and disrespectful to you all night because you don't have a penis, but now that his bad behavior has resulted in mild embarrassment on his part, you should totally be responsible for managing his feels. Snort.
This is a repost.
I've read this before...
Exactly what I was just thinking…
This post was in this sub before. It’s the exact same story with all the same details.
Welcome to
NTA - He embarrassed himself. It’s not your job to protect his feelings. He’ll be fine. Guys like him tend to fail upwards.
NTA. Please always do this, humility is healthy for personal growth
NTA! He dug that hole he got buried. Not your fault he made ass out of himself. And there was no reason for you to have state your credentials.
You’re NTA but your friend who thinks you should have handed over your resume at the start of the night is just as much of an ass as the dude mansplaining.
Didn't this story already go viral on Twitter? OP be original
Is it Op not being original… or is it mansplainers continuing the same old thing?
Happens a lot 🤷🏻♀️
This is almost identical to the origin story of the term 'mansplaining.'
NTA. Go on doing your good job, and may your successes at civilising academia continue!
NTA
Definitely NTA.
NTA.. As a black woman academic in a mainly white male field.... I get it. ... You shouldn't have to explain your creditals in order to get respect.
NTA
Wait you were rude? That’s what they noticed? Not him being a total s***
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Too funny ! NTA
NTA. Fool got exactly what he deserved.
Nta. He’s just mad that he couldn’t one up you honestly.
NTA - his ego and arhcaic thought process landed him in Embarrassment Town, population...HIM.
NTA. Tell your friend it was kinda rude for him to mansplain a field you both specialize in to you…especially when you have a PHD.
NTA! I hope he's ashamed! He deserves that.
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Because it happens all the time!! There hundreds of Twitter threads by women giving their experiences with this and then told to coddle the man's fragile ego.
Noticed this as well
Oh absofuckinglutely not. There would have been no need for you to lay out your credentials for him if he had bothered to listen to you. He went into that conversation with no intention of hearing anything you had to say. Your friends are not being very good friends to you right now.
NTA. If he hadn't been a dick, he wouldn't have been called out for being a dick.
NTA. Dude did that to himself.
Nta he deserved to be embarrassed
This is legitimately reposted every few months for karma
Someone posted this already
Nta lol I love you that was golden
NTA lol he messed around and found out
You have a PhD, and he's not even done with his master's yet. He's totally full of himself. I work in academia too and I've met grad students like him. They love to show off and act like they know more than they actually do. Do not apologize. He owes you an apology. NTA
NTA
Really? Someone thought I was throwing shade? I just loved flared pants!
NTA! He needed to be embarrassed.
NTA. Why is it your job to prevent somebody from embarrassing himself?
Ma’am you are my hero for dealing with this mansplainer. Bravo!
Nta He assumed and made an ass of himself.
No. He was being a stuck up snob assuming you don't know anything even though you are in the same field. If it was so important for your friend to have the guy know he could have told him.
Nta, they learned a valuable lesson about associating their foot with their mouth
NTA. I mean come on, you don't even really have to ask this. No ambiguity here. But damn, awesome story, so I'm glad you asked anyway. Please please please please keep doing this in the future.
Wow, even when you're not on the job you still find it in your heart to provide teaching moments. NTA you should bill him for the free lesson.
It is not your job to protect random strangers from making fools of themselves. NTA.
NTA
NTA.
NTA. you correcting him would have prevented him from making an ass of himself. he deserves to be made an ass of. let people expose themselves.
Lolllll NTA and good for you. You did not embarrass him, he embarrassed himself by being that way. Oh man, the look on his face must have looked priceless telling you that you are not getting it. It's a good lesson for him to lose some of that arrogance.
NTA. The thing about sharing that you have a PhD or do research in a specific area is that some people will say that you're too proud or flaunting. So either you don't say anything and let people embarrass themself by describing your research back to you or you say something and people accuse you of bragging. It's really a no win, so you just have to decide which one you're more comfortable with.
All I can think of is OP walking up to everyone she meets and saying "Hi I am Dr OP, I have written and co-written x papers on x subject. Nice to meet you."
NTA 100% You are an intelligent, successful woman. He wouldn't even entertain that notion. Sucks to be him! Congratulations on your PhD!!
NTA Poor baby. Got his feelers hurt.
Hell no NTA he deserved that! Maybe he will think twice before mansplaining next time!
NTA. It doesn’t have to be your paper for him to be wrong and you to be right. And that was the dynamic in the conversation at that time. He was just wrong, full stop.
Tell them he didn't take a breath, so there wasn't time.
Copy pasta. I've seen this story multiple times.
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NTA.
NTA. He is the AH to 1. Assume you aren’t really in the same field by testing you, f-ing annoying and 2. Telling you you are wrong about a paper (regardless of whether you are the author or not.) It sounds like he didn’t even ask you about credentials; he jumped to a conclusion about them. You clearly found out his. He suffered embarrassment due to his assumption and not listening. Mansplainers generally get upset and shift blame…because they don’t like to listen and only enjoy hearing themselves.
NTA - good that he’s embarrassed. Maybe next time he’ll learn to keep his mouth shut.
NTA. He embarrassed himself, you just sat back and watched him dig his hole.
Nta. Cherish this mansplainers worst nightmare come to life. He'll either do one of two things, either have a cone to Jesus moment & change his attitude for the better or he will stay that ignorant guy that he is. Neither of those decisions impact your life so its no great loss. He f**ked around then he found out, not your fault he was acting a fool. Don't you dare apologize for such a condescending interaction, you rock.
NTA, doesn't sound like there was an opportunity for you to say anything lol. Tell him you'd be happy to tutor him lol
NTA.
NTA. Girl Power 💥✨⚡️🌟🔥
NTA hopefully he learned a valuable lesson about not being a mansplaining a-hole.
NTA because it wouldn't have even worked. One time a dude started to mansplain my book to me at a conference and when I stopped him to tell him it was my book he did. not. believe. me. Only when another man confirmed it did he believe it was true (I have a gender neutral name, but damn).
NTA. Guy blew a great opportunity to make a connection by simply asking about your career.
NTA. He embarrassed himself.
NTA and I suspect that if you started the conversation with your credentials (which should be totally unnecessary!), you would be considered an asshole for showing off or something. Hopefully this dude has learned a lesson.
Guessing there was no point where he said, "have you seen the paper?" Or maybe stopped to breathe long enough for you to interject that it was your paper.
NTA maybe (but doubtful) he will learn something from this and not be a mansplaining AH next time. (I know. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣)
🤣🤣🤣 NTA love it sis!
NTA. If you did go around explaining your credentials to people off the bat, that would just make you "bragging" and "pretentious" and "full of yourself". There's no winning with people like him. You know that.
NTA. This is hilarious. And you aren’t the asshole. He was being an asshole and the friend who corrected him was kind of an asshole. You were letting him carry on and not calling him out.
NTA. He's wront and why should you have to explain your credentials rather than him just assuming he was the cleverest person in the room. Like if you went in with 'I have a PhD in bleugh, here is my CV' then you'd have been one of those annoying people that is patronising.
NTA. It’s not your job to help mitigate someone else’s potential for embarrassment when they won’t do the bare minimum to avoid embarrassing themselves. Literally all he had to do was ask what you do for a living and have the brain cells necessary to realize that having more education and job experience meant that you, ya know, had more education and job experience than he did. Instead, he decided that a woman of color would be an easy source for superiority feels.
NTA, sounds like guy was so set on talking about himself and what he knew he didn’t even allow you to the opportunity to introduce yourself and your experience properly. Maybe if he let other talk and listened to what they had to say, he wouldn’t have put his foot in his mouth.
Oh wow so NTA, he embarrassed himself by being such an embarrassment.
NTA. I hope the embarrassment he feels makes him never act that way again. But that might just be wishful thinking.
NTA
NTA, you kinda grt to live the funny dream of getting called out for being wrong while being the absolute authority on a subject (your own work).
NTA. He could have just as easily asked what your reason for objecting to his commentary was. Instead, he said "you just don't get it"? I really hope he winds up in your class one day....
It was a no-win for you.. say something, and you would be accused of bragging or trying to put him in his place. Say nothing, and you're "rude." Better you should let him reveal who he really is.
Hahahahahahahahah
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NTA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NTA
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NTA
This was a lose-lose situation for you. You took the high rode, dude took the lowdown dirty road. NTA
NTA at all!! These friends of his couldn’t bear to see him humiliated and want to blame you. He was humiliated because he acted like a know it all a h who wouldn’t let you get a word in edgewise. You should have been acknowledged for your talent for writing that paper, rather than blamed for his broken down poor ego.
NO. Women of colour ARE NOT HERE FOR YOU, dudebros. You don’t owe him anything you don’t want to give. He feels shame because he didn’t act correctly. HIS PROBLEM
NTA. Man's not gonna listen! Check out Rebecca Solnit's book "Men Explain Things to Me". Funny and heartbreaking at the same time.
No! NTA!
NTA, you were simply continuing his education; let's just hope he learned this particular lesson.
NTA and I hope he stays humbled after this.
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NTA and that's hilarious. Hopefully it will teach him to curb his mansplaining ways...
NTA
NTA. These types of situations are the only way people like that are going to learn to watch their mouth.
NTA. He's embarrassed and that's on him. He could have laughed off the blunder or apologised or something. He doesn't do well with being shown to be wrong.
OH LORD. I'd be looking so smug... nta
OMG, so much NTA! I know the kind of grad student you’re describing, OP, and seriously, if he’s going to tell you all the knowledge (mind you, he only read it a couple of days ago), by all means. sit back and let him dig his hole. He’s learned a valuable lesson (and maybe you’ve prevented others from having to experience death my mansplaining.). As for your friends—what are you supposed to do when meeting people? Hand them your CV?
NTA. Why explain when these people are doing such a good job at embarassing themselves?
NTA. If someone is going to be explaining a paper they should be prepared to acknowledge the author(s). If he had done that he wouldn't have made this mistake.
hahahaha saying your credentials won't prevent fools from making exactly what they are of themselves. Obviously NTA
NTA. It is not your responsibility to prevent him from making a horse's ass of himself. He could have stopped at any point to ask questions instead of just assuming he knew more than you. He didn't. He set himself up, you do not owe him protection from his own foolishness. He can just d!e mad about it.