Guys of Reddit, what turns you off?

  1. Disinterest in my emotional state. Listen, I may not get emotional often, but when I have a moment, don’t blow it off like “you’re a dude, get over it”

  2. With mine it's not "you're a dude get over it" it's essentially "yea well my mental state is worse focus on me" pity party until I shove my problems down and try and "fix" things ... Doesn't even have to be mental problems/breakdowns, it can literally just be I'm in an off/sore mood and don't know why and magically so are they even though they were laughing two minutes ago and if I try and decide myself then it's a 2 hour text fight where I'm not being supportive of them. It's my one and only complaint in my 11 year relationship. Feels like I can't have any issues of my own or my other half turns into a needy child.

  3. Completely agree. My ex and I were planning to get engaged but in the last year I went through emotionally-wrenching experiences that were always shrugged off and that was enough for me. Men's mental health and emotions should never be neglected!

  4. i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again- we stay advocating for men’s mental health and emotions! just because you’re a dude doesn’t mean you don’t feel things.

  5. Also any profile with the phrase sarcastic bitch that's a no no. Why shouldn't I put massive douchebag on mine?

  6. Same here. She was really hot, really rich and really kinky. It was the (exs name) show 24/7. Fucked up my self esteem like never before. Almost a year later and I'm beginning to feel like myself again. Be very picky about who you spend your time with.

  7. Mainly, when it's clear she doesn't give much of a shit. I want to be wanted, I want to feel like she wants me as much as I want her. If I feel I gotta twist her arm, I'm pretty much done. My arm needs zero twisting when I'm interested.

  8. I learned not too long ago that most people give differently, and learning what your partners expectations for giving/receiving love and affection is extremely important (if you actually like this person and want to be with them).

  9. In order to not get hung up on the "person" you had a relationship with, remember that the relationship is what you value, not the person. That way it's easier to cut your losses when you realize the relationship you want is not possible with that person but it is with someone else. Then move on.

  10. I bent over backwards for my wife. I consistently brought her flowers and sweets. I cared for our dogs and was kind, supportive, and encouraging on so many things. I made sure to take interest in her hobbies even if I didn't like them at first. We got along well and everything felt pretty fine from my point of view despite how I was ignoring the obvious - then she asked for a divorce last week.

  11. When I'm trying to spend time with her, whether we're out or just spending some time together relaxing, and she spends the whole time looking at her phone. If we're on a date and she pulls out her phone at the table to start scrolling, I'm done.

  12. I’ll never understand why this is normalized. That would be my first and last date with a girl. And I’m not even gonna tell her why

  13. I honestly can’t remember the last time someone has made an equal effort to see me as I have them.

  14. This doesn’t just go for romantic relationships, but platonic friendships as well. I can’t stress this enough. If your time and efforts aren’t being reciprocated, that’s a huge red flag.

  15. I remember the days of trying to carry a conversation and get short replies. Part of what put me off dating for a while.

  16. True whether it's a long term, serious relationship, or a hookup IMO. Like, I'm down with some casual fun on occasion, but if you think being there is enough effort, I can guarantee you that it will be a one night stand.

  17. Came for this comment. Stop telling me you love me every 15 seconds, and start showing it with your actions. Speaks volumes more than repeating a phrase.

  18. Aversion to weirdness or uniqueness. If someone thinks it's "weird" to be super interested in something, I find that very offputting.

  19. I'm blessed with a partner that will let me go on rants about my passions, and they just nod their head and smile. I know they don't give a shit, but they want to hear how excited I am about the things I love. Its making me less insecure about expressing my enjoyment for my nerdy hobbies.

  20. I literally ended a friendship earlier this year because she kept criticizing my interests as weird and couldn’t be happy for me about things pertaining to it.

  21. I used to be this person. Until one day during a conversation nerdy hobbies came up and after ribbing the one guy about his nerdiness in what I thought was a playful manner he pointed out that at least they all had hobbies. I felt that in my soul. I haven't done it since.

  22. In my experience people even find relatively normal hobbies ‘weird.’ Like, I like to go camping. ‘Like in a tent? That’s weird.’ Im a multi-instrumentalist. ‘Why not just play one? That’s weird.’ I like to garden. ‘Like growing flowers? That’s weird.’

  23. My wife thinks being into videogames means unwilling to work/childish. So that's a point of tension.

  24. I was thinking this today. People seem so rude and just plain mean these days. Everyone’s always taking their frustrations out on others or just plain priding themselves on being an asshat. That’s nothing to be proud of, people! Being nice is free for everyone.

  25. When they say something about a random stranger on the street "oh you can just tell shes a bitch" like what ? You don't even know them. Really annoying.

  26. When a toxic person decides to “test” you for a reaction like a fucking science experiment and then blow up when the results weren’t exactly what they overthought.

  27. My wife does this all the time and it drives me nuts. When she lets me know what she thinks I'm thinking it's usually so far off that it's almost comical. What worries me most are the times she doesnt let me know and adds it to whatever other inaccurate and made up narratives she built up in her head about me lol.

  28. My girlfriend just asked me if she went missing in a national park how long would I look for her before giving up and I said 2 years and she started crying saying I didn’t love her. No I’m not kidding.

  29. Same. Know stuff. Show me you are smart. Show me that if you were a dude I'd hang out with you. Show me that when the zombies attack, or when we are camping, I'm not going to have to save you in some way. Be my equal, or be my better. Dont be stupid. attacking me ego is going to be more arousing than seeking to inflate it by being a bachewie chomp.

  30. Being bitchy to people who aren’t in a position to defend themselves like people in the service industry. People who are kind no matter the circumstances are emotionally intelligent and sexy AF. Powerful people don’t need to be petty.

  31. Emotional volatility. You can have emotions and not take them out on others, or exhibit some control, all at the same time. It's everyone's responsibility to not take them out on others.

  32. A lot of people have trouble regulating their emotions….that feels understandable. It’s when you routinely take them out on others when you turn into a piece of shit.

  33. -Not leaving me alone and getting upset if I don't reply within 90 seconds. -Being rude/mean to others for no reason.

  34. There was a post a while back, she was texting him over hours of no response, getting more and more enraged, eventually accusing him of everything under the sun.

  35. Good lord I’m with you. My girlfriend has probably 4 appointments per week for “self care” which I totally support. She has an eyebrow day, a massage every other week, some reiki thing I still don’t understand and I’m all about her doing what she needs to do.

  36. Oh I so agree with this one. I dated someone for a while before we spent a whole week together. 5 days in and they finally decided to take a shower and didn't brush their teeth until day 6 even with me saying things like "hey, dinner had a lot of garlic, do you wanna brush your teeth with me?" Also noticed some other odd and disgusting habits of skin and scab picking and eating. No matter how nice they were I couldn't get over the lack of hygiene. Hardest break up of my life because how do you tell someone you're really nice but disgusting without hurting them?

  37. The first girl i was crazy about didn't out on deodorant because she said she doesn't sweat...think you can imagine how that went

  38. When a girl is upset & I’m expected to know/guess what made her mad. Be straightforward and tell me so I can either apologize or explain myself.

  39. This one Facebook "friend" (really acquaintance) of mine, no lie, went on a date with this guy, took a picture of him wearing his baseball cap, then put him on blast on Facebook for wearing it during her date like, "Was I wrong for being annoyed that he wore it the whole date?!"

  40. When i am talking about something im passionate about and she was lookin at her phone and in another world completely. Just saying mhmm and yes at the right times so i dont notice.

  41. Oh man i felt this one. Used to have an ex who did that towards the end of our relationship and i’d have to be blunt and ask her to put her phone down. If you’re with me almost daily but aren’t interested in interacting with me, why are you even here?

  42. This. I had a good friend try to introduce me to this beautiful lady but she was dumb as a rock. It was such a turn off that I just gave up and zoned out as soon as I realized. Intelligence is sexy af

  43. Playing a healer in a MMO and becoming more popular than me, taking over my guild, then kicking me for low DPS. Bitch.

  44. The water drop that broke the camel's back with my ex fiancee was when she refused to have a conversation about God and religion because, i quote : "I'm afraid you might make me change my mind."

  45. My mother in law is the least curious person I’ve ever met. God bless her, she’s lovely, but how….HOW…. can you scroll Facebook, say “I wonder what year lego was invented” and just continue scrolling? You can’t. It’s against the law. It was August 10th 1932 in Denmark. Lego is a combination of the words “leg godt” which means play well in Danish.

  46. A) Username checks out B) As does the sentiment. In a recent study adult 'intelligence' (performance on standardized IQ tests) can be predicted with high reliability by evaluating curiosity in infants/toddler (time spent focusing on unexpected/unfamiliar visual stimuli).

  47. This. I was talking to a family member about my cat that died and I started crying, and she had the balls to tell me "it was just a cat"

  48. Yeah I had to cut things off with a guy today because of that. During a conversation I asked at least half a dozen times what he was interested in or what he likes to talk about. Responses ranged from “You’re such a cutie” to “Whatever you want to talk about”

  49. Ignorance. A complete lack of introspection is an instant deal breaker for me. Like, really? You're just gonna not question why anything happens? Or even why you are who you are?

  50. Women that act like teenagers. I’ve met 18 year olds (obviously) that act like kids and I’ve met 25 year olds that act like kids and no matter how hot they are I’m immediately turned off by it. I don’t even really know how to describe it but their immaturity and glaring lack of real world life experiences make them seem annoying and petty.

  51. Lack of openness or being fake. If I am going to be in a situation where I am going to be turned on to start with I want some freaking intimacy damnit.

  52. A past gf of mine asked if we could trade body types. I'm tall, she was much shorter and maybe a little chubby. All I said was "Nah, I like being tall" and she got upset that I called her fat, and took every opportunity to tell our friends that I thought she was fat and was calling her fat.

  53. I dated a girl for a few months and once after sex she said "One time I brought this guy home and while we were fucking he slapped me out of nowhere, it was so weird." So I had a tumult of emotions ranging from post-coitus glow, anger that anyone would slap her, and thinking about someone else in bed with her (I never thought I was her first but still). Laid there in silence trying to figure out how to respond and she said "Oh, you don't like hearing about me with other guys."

  54. When someone doesn't have the desire to understand the perspectives of others, and being quick to anger before communication

  55. On the flip side, I find gratitude EXTREMELY sexy. Makes me want to go the extra mile vs being with someone who always thinks they deserve everything.

  56. Funny story: my boyfriend and I had been dating for a few weeks, and our zodiac signs came up (I think I got one of those birthday candle ads or something). I’m a Sagittarius, he’s a Gemini, and he was like “Wow, we’re polarities!” I - being only in possession of the very basic zodiac knowledge all women are exposed to due to cosmo quizzes in the 7th grade - was like “...what?” He got all bashful (it was very cute) and was like “my ex was super into astrology”. It became an inside joke, and now whenever we’re simpatico about something, we’ll gaze adoringly at each other and chalk it up to being “polarities”.

  57. But what if they have no eyebrow hair? Absolutely zero hate here, you're entitled to not be attracted to whatever you're not attracted to, I'm just wondering if it's a "too overdone" thing or if they just look off to you or what? For science, mostly.

  58. Playing hard to get. Mature men who are serious about life will not be turned on by that... they’ll shrug and go back to their life. Ain’t nobody got time for that

  59. If she gives me any kind of signal that she's not into me pursuing her, then that's the end of it. Full stop. It's 2021 and I'm not going to risk being labeled a creepy, pushy stalker just because she wants to recreate the scenario from some 2000s rom-com.

  60. God, this. I've had people blow up at me for backing off or losing interest when they were apparently trying to 'make me work for it', when the only 'it' I was after was a healthy, communicative relationship.

  61. Being entitled to or expecting nice gestures Chivalry is not dead. I will always open the door for a woman and all that cheesy shit but when a girl stands there expecting me to open the door that turns me off

  62. comparing me to their past boyfriends. like not even in a negative sense, even if it’s a positive comparison to their ex. guess what, i’ll be next too 🙄

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