Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of what you comment, but your first reply gets to choose how you use it. What did you win?

  1. You can only use them with a tiny tiny bit of mobile data. Enough to be present, but too slow to actually load a website. The network coverage cuts off every two minutes.

  2. You can only have your cabbages in a cart, and you are doomed into a repeating cycle of meeting groups of elemental sorcerers that destroy your cart and cabbages amidst their fighting or other shenanigans, prompting you to loudly exclaim your peril bestowed upon you through the loss of said cabbages in the same manner each time.

  3. It grants you zero wishes, the genie is clingy as shit and constantly looms around making you feel incompetent

  4. Oh but you can trade those passes to reply to your own post for passes to have a lifetime's supply of passes to get a lifetime's supply of whatever you want.

  5. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... and! I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it!?

  6. It’s actually lettuce. Cursed lettuce. Actual leafy greens, cursed by the devil himself. It has all the intoxicating qualities of normal butter lettuce (which is to say, none) but with the added benefit of being animated and psychotic. Like the Chucky of lettuce. It follows you everywhere, trying to ruin your life and kill you.

  7. You must defy everything, even good advice, and you will always be completely cognizant of the up coming consequences to that defiance.

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