What brings out the worst in a person?

  1. My coworkers and I have started bringing in food for everyone because we’re so fucking over workin with hangry people.

  2. This. Especially the hungry part. A coworker celebrates observes Ramadan and he is NOT funny to be around. Cranky all the time because he can't eat until sundown. His personality has basically shifted to be a sourpuss.

  3. I know that’s true. Back when I struggled with eating disorders I was such a bitch when I did things like not eat for a week. Just running on water and self loathing.

  4. I am surprised no one has mentioned their period. I get so unbelievably angry and upset over the smallest things when I am on my period. My body hurts, I am always hungry, my sleep pattern gets thrown off.

  5. In Maus Art Spiegelman’s dad talks about this. Iirc Art makes some comment like “I have to see my friends later,” and his dad says “friends? You will know who your friends are when you’re locked in a room with them and none of you have eaten.”

  6. Desperate times call for desperate measures. But in reality people will go to lengths way farther than previously considered when they are under the gun.

  7. yeah. i turned into a toxic asshole thats always on edge wanting to receive love from my partner in a way that i could understand. Which made me hate the person i was which made me act even worse and repeated the cycle

  8. I never understood the idea of a kindly grandmother as a kid because mine was like a prickly cactus. She was mean and angry and just unpleasant. As an adult, I realize my grandmother suffered from disabling arthritis from her 30s onward, and had spent pretty much her entire life in crippling pain. It's no wonder she wasn't some kindly woman making cookies and hugging everybody - every movement in her life was agony. I think now when I have injuries or aches how cranky I get, and how I can't imagine how that would impact your psyche to be your standard way of living every single day of your life.

  9. Becoming ill actually turned me into a very empathetic person. I figured that with all the crap I was going through I would like people to be nice to me and in turn it would make sense for me to be nice to other people as I don't know what other people are going through in their personal lives.

  10. As a cancer person, while currently my status is not serious to have any big pain/body issue directly from cancer, I still suffer some from the side effects of the treatments.

  11. I guess depression falls into that category too. So relatable. I'm not the same happy person I used to before depression.

  12. Yes!! Pain will. People wonder why older folks get mean sometimes, now that I’m 50 I get it. Pain makes you powerless, that turns to anger quickly. I HATE the fact that my body dictates what I can and can’t do anymore

  13. Oh my god yes. Since 2020, I’ve been battling lower back pain. This last year, it got worse. By February, I had lost about 45% of my mobility. Before the pain started, I loved going to the park or the gym and just being active. Thankfully, my doctor found a solution (injections into my SI joints), and I’ve regained a lot of my mobility. However, during that time, my mood changed significantly. I was angry, sad, and depressed.

  14. I have EDS, a genetic connective tissue disorder that made me go from a happy, energetic youth, to now barely going outside hardly able to anything from the absolute pain and agony I’m in every day. I absolutely love people, and hanging out with them - it’s just when I’m in pain all the time and get exhausted only minutes into a conversation . . . well, it just makes me never want to go anywhere or see anyone.

  15. I am a sore loser and a petty winner in Mario Kart. I will pull up replays of my partner eating shit at the finish line lol.

  16. My friend had a teacher who during an end of the year party while playing Mario Kart through an F bomb after getting angry.

  17. Especially when the confrontation is about your bald wife. That I think would be able to bring out the worst in a person. Can’t confirm tho.

  18. A friend of mine parent's died and suddenly all these aunts and uncles that he'd never even met came to his now deceased parents house demanding their cut.

  19. Yes. Barely anyone on my mom's side of the family talks to each other anymore because of this (among other things).

  20. I’m a realtor and so deal with estate sales (selling the home of a person who died) regularly, and you cannot believe how petty people get. No one thinks it will happen to them/their family and without fail it always does. Everyone’s hand is out, everyone wants a piece, and someone always raids the home before the rest of the family can get there to take all the “good stuff.”

  21. This. My aunt's husband (I refuse to call him my uncle) drove up to my grandmother's funeral in a U-Haul. He wanted to go straight from the funeral to her house to pilfer her things. Some people are just greedy pigs at heart. It's truly disgusting.

  22. Years ago, my sensible, pragmatic grandmother brought all her kids and grandchildren together for a weekend at her house. She gave each of us a roll of masking tape and a Sharpie and told us to tag everything in her house that we wanted with a piece of tape with our initials on it. That way, when she died, we'd all know exactly what went to whom. If multiple people wanted the same item, we'd work it out right then, that very weekend.

  23. Not even just the effects. My partner died with almost no assets, and the fighting is still ridiculous. And just downright insulting to his memory.

  24. Being with a manipulative, toxic partner. The longer you are with someone like that, the more your unhealthy coping mechanisms become entrenched to the point you don’t know how to function in a healthy relationship.

  25. Doesn’t have to be a partner. It can be a close friend, as I have found. You don’t always realize that they are changing you, but they are.

  26. exactly. I'm embarrassed about the way that I behaved in my last relationship, as I would never act like this in any other situation. It felt like I was proving the nasty things he said about me right.

  27. Emotional PTSD is real. When you second guess yourself all the time, or find yourself pleading with them to just listen or care, god… what that does to a person. It takes a long time to heal that wound.

  28. My best friends ex was a seriously manipulative and entitled turdball… She became the exact same thing. It was an awful sight. When you do everything in the world for entitled people they don’t appreciate it, they ruined my life and then spread rumors. Insane! What is messed up is I was right and I was just trying to protect my friend but somehow I am the bad guy. (She was getting a large settlement, her SO talked her into a bank account that had them both on it… cleaned her completely out.)

  29. I always wonder abt toxic ppl. Like after they are left by the non-toxic person what do they do? Be toxic u til they die and alone and sad? Get better and change their ways? We talk abt toxic ppl like they’re a disease but they’re ppl too

  30. Especially when the death was a murder. Some victims' family members turn into sadists who just want to watch somebody die in agony whether the evidence proves their guilt or not. That kind of grief destroys the soul.

  31. I know what you mean. However, This has not been my experience. Despite being in excruciating pain after the death of my partner from cancer, I feel like a much kinder and more understanding person. I participate actively in many grief organizations for partner loss and I only meet the absolute kindest beautiful people. Yeah we in the grief/widowhood community might cry in the shower and drink too much at times but we for the most part eventually become a balance of broken but beautiful people. Just my 2 cents!

  32. Yeah, I went weird when my friend died, cut everyone off, would be so angry at people who weren’t her friend that suddenly wanted to pay their respects, I was awful. When I came out of that state and realised how horrible I was behaving, I apologised to everyone I’d lashed out at. I’m truly embarrassed at how I was during that time, even though I know it was grief

  33. This. It's amazing when the light bulb goes off in your head and you think "you know what? I actually don't have to deal with this, bye."

  34. I’d say this extends across all types of relationships; family, romantic, friendships, etc. Really wears you down and then when you get distance or cut contact, it’s like you’re shiny and brand new again. Bittersweet feeling

  35. like when you're in your first trimester and you come home to the garbage not being emptied and the putrid smell of yesterdays bacon and immediately have to vomit and his response is Lol.

  36. My wife's father passed away without a will recently and there were step-siblings involved. Her uncle (father's brother) was such a jerk to the step siblings and swore that they would never see a dime and everything would go to my wife and her brother. Then he found out that he was the beneficiary of a bank account with $30k in it. Haven't seen him since. He just took the money and disappeared. lol

  37. When hard-working, dedicated employees see a co-worker get raises and promotions while they're passed by - especially when that employee is lazy and not productive but somehow is cozy with the boss.

  38. It really makes you mad! Like this guy sucked so bad, the company we are contracted to would complain that he was never around. Somehow he got the spot, I have watched him not do crap for hours, I get the same exact pay as someone else who walked in the doors and I been there over five years. I got the new assignment and I got rewarded after they told me I was going to get it by having more work instead. They are switching me out to a different site, let the place go to crap because I am not there. I am done! Sorry, it builds deep resentment when someone else who you have heard with my own ears the complainants against him and he got it over me.

  39. There’s an acronym for dealing with this (which many of your probably have heard before but it’s still pretty helpful):

  40. I would amend that to "Anger justified by lies." Anger informed by truth can bring out heroism, defensive action and initiative, courage, and other great qualities. The common tactic of evil people and villains is the misdirection of people's anger, often using false accusations.

  41. And not just for the person with the money. A lot of friends and family show their true colors when they find out someone's loaded.

  42. It’s the worst when people have a black or white mentality with it. “My politics are right so I’m good and anyone who disagrees is stupid/-ist/-phobic/Nazi/Communist/etc”

  43. I always try to steer conversation away from political topics when I have guests or generally in public. Normal, nice, funny people become blathering idiots and start to argue.

  44. Anger. It can bypass both logic and empathy, leading to events that just about everyone, including the person holding the anger later regret.

  45. This should be at the top. Ive seen people do HORRIBLE things to people who dont deserve it just because a person made them feel insecure. I had a friend that was targeted by her coworkers bc she was a good employee. They tried to drive her to suicide...its just insane what people will do. Anger is fleeting, but jealousy stays and festers in people.

  46. When I was a kid I went out into the wild with my dad sometimes, and one day he commented, “Why is it that you always scream when you see bugs at home, but when you wear boots you’ll just step on them without saying a word?”

  47. Had to scroll down way too far. This should be highest. Worst people in history are the ones that had power.

  48. The need to feel superior, to the point that they can never be or do any wrong. Everyone else is the problem and below them.

  49. Husband of 16 years comes from an extremely troubled past. He's normally a goofy, kind man but alcohol turns him into a literal monster as it drawls all his issues to the surface. You know how sharks eyes look when they smell blood? Think something in that aspect. We recently just jumped upon the sober ship to save our marriage and he's working on finding a therapist for his problems.

  50. The perceived anonymity of the internet brings out the worst in people. Online dating is terrible for this, telling people things you would never say to their face.

  51. Mental illness and trauma. I’ve experienced a fair amount of both, and I’ve had to seriously re-evaluate and correct my behavior, both towards others and myself, several times as a result.

  52. Power. It is the worst psychological addiction there is. As soon as a person's sense of self worth depends on their position in a hierarchy, they become capable of all sorts of unethical acts in order to rise or maintain their place.

  53. Best answer imo. Jealousy will eat your soul until you're nothing but a bitter, rotten husk of your previous self. That is, if you allow it to.

  54. being surrounded by people who encourage the worst parts of you to come out , I used to be in a school where insulting people for their looks with your friends and starting rumors was how you got popular , needless to say it was a mess

  55. I was surprised I had to scroll so far to find this. People can be so quick to dehumanize each other and engage in casual cruelty when they have a screen between them and don't have to look each other in the eyes.

  56. starvation. a starved brain is not a rational one. I say this as someone currently in anorexia recovery - hunger can fundamentally change you as a person.

  57. Grief. It is the hardest of emotions to control because it’s made up of all your other emotions. People who are grieving can do and say horrible, unforgivable things to those they are supposed to love most. The family fights, ending of lifelong friendships, and other drama I’ve seen because of grief over the years make all other causes pale in comparison.

  58. Retail. Guests, especially. You see the raw radiance of disgrace when you see a grown man throw a tantrum at a minimum wage worker over something small as napkins or complaints that food is overcooked lol

  59. Betrayel. Easiest case is when a partner cheats. So natural and easy to be filled with anger that you let out your worst elements.

  60. Hatred. My friend was sexually assaulted at one point. As for the guy who did it, we wanted him dead. We are normally well-meaning and have good hearts but we wanted him cold and dead, having died in intense agony. We have never felt such hatred for a person in our life.

  61. Working next to a narcissist who is intent on pushing your buttons until you reach your breaking point. Then he laughs as I'm screaming at him to knock it the fuck off. By the way he is a supervisor.

  62. It's sad to see that I had to scroll so far down to see money, power, and ego not at the very top. I've seen those destroy the most wholesome of people and turn them into absolute strangers in front of my very eyes.

  63. I get angry when there unfairness. It’s a silly thing because I really can tell someone that’s unfair to be fair. Most times they know and don’t care.

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