have you learned nothing from Tim Robinson? If you accidentally push a door when you're supposed to pull, you simply double down and act as if your initial approach was correct, and you push the shit out of that door until it is forced to open. Then you go about your day as if you were right the entire time. you're welcome.
The day I turned 21 I had to go to the liquor store just because I could finally do it. Where we live it's a whole store of nothing but hard liquor because it's not legal for grocery stores to sell anything harder than beer or wine. I was super nervous and felt like I was doing something bad, but also excited. And then the door wouldn't open. I thought maybe I'd gotten the hours wrong so I walked back and checked the sign. They were open. Came back. Tried the door again. Still wouldn't open. I stood there thinking maybe the universe was trying to tell 21 year old me not to drink. I was actually getting really frustrated. The handle was a rectangular pad like every push door I'd ever seen. Why couldn't I open it? Was it electric and the sensor broke? The cashier had started looking out at me. Only then did I notice PULL engraved into the ancient handle. It had the tiniest little sliver to grab and open the door. Maybe it was drunk proof? Idk. I think my face was red the entire time I was in there. XD
Oh God so much this. I am finally getting better at just saying no from the outset but then someone texts and says are you suuuuuuure you don't want to go do this thing you already said no to? No. I. Don't.
Had that happen a time or 2, luckily I ether don't give people the opportunity to do that, or I only tell one person, so if I hear about it, I know who to cut off.
Quit smoking. This week is one whole year tobacco free after 25 years of smoking and it’s gonna stay that way. I have no further interest in those damn things. Pass that joint, though!
I think if you keep trying, you might surprise yourself. You've got two hands... unless you're one-handed. In which case, listen to Def Leppard and congratulate yourself on your single-tasking ability.
Can't spell separate or copacetic the first time around without spell check and/or a Google search because I'm so far off, spell check doesn't know what to suggest.
Forgetting to stop a timer on the microwave when I'm done cooking something on the stove. I set one for a stupid long time and I usually hear it after I'm done eating my food.
When watching a show that I recorded on the DVD, I always forget that its recorded and I can fast forward through the commercials. It seems I always remember after watching 2-3 minutes of advertising. This happens nearly every time!
We lost power during Hurricane Sandy. It was out for 9 days. We lived out of a cooler. Took showers at the YMCA. Charged our phones at a friends house. We survived.
My significant other was cutting up hot peppers once before deciding to have some sexy time with me. Apparently he hadn't washed his hands well enough. INSTANT REGRET.
Buying stuff I really cant afford, like buying the more expensive good ramen, when you know you will starve for a week if you dont take the shitty ones.
Pulling a microwave meal out of the freezer, taking the meal out of the box, tossing the box, opening the microwave,...then fishing the box out of the trash to read the instructions seems to be my "go to".
Helping the same people over and over again. only to tell them no once and they turn against me until they alienate everybody else and then I allow the cycle to start again.
Every single day without fail I forget my cup of water in the freezer and it turns to a block of ice. Everyday I get a cup of water, put it in the freezer, then proceed to forget it exists, then promptly yell "fuck my water", every single day. I bet I'll do it again today lol
Disassembling something with springs on my lab bench and then watching as a part flies across the room and apparently vanishes through a portal into Oblivion.
My dog always takes down the garbage can and spreads it all over if I forget to put it in the garage or on the counter. I only have myself to blame but I’ve done it 20 plus times in the past 10 years .
Kicking the damn corner of my bed with my little toe. You’d think your brain would learn but fucking nope, let’s remind myself how much pain can a little toe cause.
I always confuse the meaning of "before" with the meaning of "after" and vice versa, I am Spanish-speaking and I'm sorry but it sounds more logical that way to me.
pulling a push door/vice versa
There's this door I struggle wirh often. From inside the place, it clearly says PULL backwards because the sticker is on the other side.
To be fair, doors with horizontal handles that you are supposed to pull are fucking bullshit.
have you learned nothing from Tim Robinson? If you accidentally push a door when you're supposed to pull, you simply double down and act as if your initial approach was correct, and you push the shit out of that door until it is forced to open. Then you go about your day as if you were right the entire time. you're welcome.
I'm embarrassed that till this day i continue to do this. Maybe one day I'll finally get it right
Might be a
The day I turned 21 I had to go to the liquor store just because I could finally do it. Where we live it's a whole store of nothing but hard liquor because it's not legal for grocery stores to sell anything harder than beer or wine. I was super nervous and felt like I was doing something bad, but also excited. And then the door wouldn't open. I thought maybe I'd gotten the hours wrong so I walked back and checked the sign. They were open. Came back. Tried the door again. Still wouldn't open. I stood there thinking maybe the universe was trying to tell 21 year old me not to drink. I was actually getting really frustrated. The handle was a rectangular pad like every push door I'd ever seen. Why couldn't I open it? Was it electric and the sensor broke? The cashier had started looking out at me. Only then did I notice PULL engraved into the ancient handle. It had the tiniest little sliver to grab and open the door. Maybe it was drunk proof? Idk. I think my face was red the entire time I was in there. XD
Offering to do something in the future that I very much don't want to do
Oh God so much this. I am finally getting better at just saying no from the outset but then someone texts and says are you suuuuuuure you don't want to go do this thing you already said no to? No. I. Don't.
quit, then start drinking again
Just got a year. Feels good.
14 years
Way to go all of you!
Hell yueah. 4 1/2 years for me.
Share my feelings with people who use them as ammunition against me.
Had that happen a time or 2, luckily I ether don't give people the opportunity to do that, or I only tell one person, so if I hear about it, I know who to cut off.
Trying to plug the USB upside down. Probably hundreds of times at this point
I honestly feel like the average amount of tries to plug in a USB is somehow like 3?
It takes me several tries even with the non-directional USB-C plugs.
Came here looking for this because I KNEW it would be pretty near the top of the list. Definitely a very common mistake for me.
I'll just rest my eyelids very briefly
That's what I'm about to do.
Stop it. That's uncanny.
My excuse is that I’m just checking my eyelids for holes - I remember Benjamin Sisko’s dad saying it in Star Trek: DS9 and it stuck
“Just one more episode” and suddenly it’s 4AM and I work in a few hours
Then I think might as well just keep watching it longer since I’ve stayed up so late which continues the cycle
Turning on the wrong stove burner
i do this way to often.
Spelling the word ‘rhythm’ incorrectly - for some reason, that word is my vocab Achilles heel. It vexes me.
Ha ha, my spelling bugaboo is "restaurant." Can't spell that word for shit.
rhthym
Mine is pigeon. It autocorrected I still can't spell it.
This is my least favourite in the English language and I’m an Anglo in Quebec (I love English!)
For me this is: Intitative Intitiative Intititive I N I T I A T I V E
Mine is cinnamon. Two N's? Two M's? Looks correct either way to me!
Quit smoking. This week is one whole year tobacco free after 25 years of smoking and it’s gonna stay that way. I have no further interest in those damn things. Pass that joint, though!
your asking a interesting question!
That's pretty witty. I can't believe you didn't get more upvotes
Forgetting where I put my phone. Lack of pockets in women's clothes has some me wrong on multiple occasions.
I still feel hungry, I'll have another. 5 min later. I overdid it.
"Just ONE more bite..."
Her name is Bethany
Bethanys are highly addictive.
tossing the box with the instructions before i've finished making the food.
Trying to multitask when I know I'm clearly not capable of doing so😂
I think if you keep trying, you might surprise yourself. You've got two hands... unless you're one-handed. In which case, listen to Def Leppard and congratulate yourself on your single-tasking ability.
Nowadays I just admit it: I don't multitask. I multi-flounder.
Trusting people .
That damn 10mm disappears into my engine bay...
"I don't need to write that down"
Not understanding the math problem
"10 minutes of Reddit, then back to work!"
Forgetting password
Not saying anything to the one I love
Deleting dating site profile
At this point I have a folder on my phone of all the profile pictures so I can re-upload when I'm feeling lonely/desperate
"But it's lacking something big this time What the hell did you expect to find? Aphrodite on a barstool by your side?"
Trusting a fart.
Eating junk foods
Can't spell separate or copacetic the first time around without spell check and/or a Google search because I'm so far off, spell check doesn't know what to suggest.
Forgetting to stop a timer on the microwave when I'm done cooking something on the stove. I set one for a stupid long time and I usually hear it after I'm done eating my food.
I forgot to remember the Alamo
Opening a drawer to retrieve item, fail to grab item, hurt my hand because my other hand has already pushed the drawer to close it.
When watching a show that I recorded on the DVD, I always forget that its recorded and I can fast forward through the commercials. It seems I always remember after watching 2-3 minutes of advertising. This happens nearly every time!
You mean DVR, not DVD.
Not asking someone's name, then having been talking too long to ask
Walked into a room and completely forgotten why I was there.
Thinking that overeating will make me feel good :/
Trusting people. But I learned from my mistakes.
There’s this one light switch that I always think is to my left when I walk in the door.. but it’s on the right.
We lost power during Hurricane Sandy. It was out for 9 days. We lived out of a cooler. Took showers at the YMCA. Charged our phones at a friends house. We survived.
[удалено]
My significant other was cutting up hot peppers once before deciding to have some sexy time with me. Apparently he hadn't washed his hands well enough. INSTANT REGRET.
Using Reddit
Texting my ex boyfriend
Shift up from 1 to N instead of 2 and not comprehend what happened until I hit 10K RPM.
Plugging in a pendrive.
So, so many things. I really can't choose just one.
Resetting a password…and trying to use the exact same combo you forgot in the first place 🤦🏻♂️
Trusted the untrustworthy
- gets cereal
Locking the car keys inside my delivery car. My boss is not happy with me..
Trying to have a 30 minute power nap. Turns into a 3 hour sleep every time and I just wake up feeling like shit and can't sleep that night.
answer a message on the phone "later". Ends up being never
Pouring myself cereal without checking if there’s milk in the fridge.
Being friendly to people that don't deserve it
Trust to people
I'm just gonna rest my eyes for a little bit
Buying stuff I really cant afford, like buying the more expensive good ramen, when you know you will starve for a week if you dont take the shitty ones.
Getting out of shape.
Falling for someone/getting a crush.
Pulling a microwave meal out of the freezer, taking the meal out of the box, tossing the box, opening the microwave,...then fishing the box out of the trash to read the instructions seems to be my "go to".
Waking up
Procrastinating on projects
Forgetting where my car was parked.
Playing the same wrong note in a Chopin piano Étude.
The pros and cons of muscle memory.
Forgot the semicolon
People's ages, and remembering where friends went on holiday, usual said the wrong place.
I can't remember anyone's birthday or age and it makes me feel like an asshole. It makes me feel better to see other people have the same problem.
Turn the light switch off before screwing in a good bulb.
Cracking an egg in a way that gets shell in whatever I am making
I believe it was Julia Child who was a stickler for cracking eggs in a separate bowl.
Throwing a ball and it hitting someone or something that it shouldn't have. If you haven't done this a dozen times in your life, throw more balls.
Forgetting which way to turn the hot water tap on my shower when I'm done. I probably do this a dozen times a month
Betting on the Detroit Lions
Mistyping your and you're.
Waking up
Putting my eraser or pencil on my bed, it somehow disappears almost every single time.
All of them. Heh. Heh.
Forgetting to substitute for almondmilk in the drive-through.
Fall in love.
Forgetting to spray the pan with no-stick spray when I'm making scrambled eggs. Or using too much, or spraying it too late. It's complicated.
Trusting family, or anyone I trusted for that matter, to do something not for their own gain and without fucking me over because they simply can.
Ah. One last drink...
vaping after i "quit"
Not setting my alarm clock BEFORE I get in bed
Thinking I found the right girl
Calling my guy best friend my girlfriends name it’s so embarrassing but luckily I have a way to play it of
not knowing when to stfu.
Trusting people.
not deleting my browser history
Guessed the wrong way while attempting to insert a USB device
I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it. I never remember it.
Plugging the usb in wrong direction
Putting my USB the wrong side up into my laptop
trying to save water but wasting it anyhow due to my dumbness
Drank a little too much
grindr hookups
Allowing my just right ocd to win
Thigh, meet baby gate.
Keep forgetting the same things over and over again. Don't know if it counts as a mistake.
Going poo and missing the toilet
Buy a mid or smallcap stock in the hope of making a quick buck only to lose some of my capital. Rinse and repeat.
Remaking my dating profiles.
Going back to that person even after knowing the truth
I've got 2: breathing, and living
Petting my cat’s stomach like it’s not a trap.
Waking up...
- texting when horny
Not buying GME when it dips below 100!!
Helping the same people over and over again. only to tell them no once and they turn against me until they alienate everybody else and then I allow the cycle to start again.
I'll just get gas in the morning, it'll be fine.
Opening reddit
Trusting too much
Words I cannot reliably spell correctly:
Every single day without fail I forget my cup of water in the freezer and it turns to a block of ice. Everyday I get a cup of water, put it in the freezer, then proceed to forget it exists, then promptly yell "fuck my water", every single day. I bet I'll do it again today lol
Threw my phone in the trash
Procrastination
Disassembling something with springs on my lab bench and then watching as a part flies across the room and apparently vanishes through a portal into Oblivion.
Procastinating and also oh nvm ill tell that later
My dog always takes down the garbage can and spreads it all over if I forget to put it in the garage or on the counter. I only have myself to blame but I’ve done it 20 plus times in the past 10 years .
Women.
Trust someone lol
Trusting people.
Running back to him
Writing the wrong amount on a check.
Hope.
Women.
Forgetting what I need for the day and then realise I forgot it when I have to use it even though I had already told myself the day prior
I will browse the internet for only 10 minutes before bed.
Kicking the damn corner of my bed with my little toe. You’d think your brain would learn but fucking nope, let’s remind myself how much pain can a little toe cause.
Doing what other people want/expect even though I don't want to.
Marriage.
I lose my car in the parking lot like nine times out of ten when I go shopping.
Open a yogurt,and accidentally throw the spoon instead of the top thingy of the yogurt in the trash
Thinking that “parent” equates to “caring.”
Piss on the toilet
Flaring the damn brake line before putting the fitting on.
Thinking this career move will be the one.
I am just going to have ONE more beer…
Nicotine.
Smoking weed at a job that does random drug testing. It's not a dozen but it's 3 and I've been fired from all of them
Drinking too much the night before I had to wake up and do something.
"I don't need a reminder. I will remember to do that."
Fell for the ol' "just tell me the truth and it'll be alright" line.
Making a fool of my self. All. The. Damn. Time.
Going grocery shopping while hungry
Saying I'll hang out a week prior then when the day comes I call for a raincheck and still don't hang out.
well i hurt myself a dozen of times, not recomended
Break a promise
"I can't believe she's THAT crazy..."
Bad grades when i was in middle school,
“I’ll get up early and do it in the morning”
I always confuse the meaning of "before" with the meaning of "after" and vice versa, I am Spanish-speaking and I'm sorry but it sounds more logical that way to me.
Having a one night stand with a guy I just met while drunk
falling asleep in normal clothes lol
Cumming when wearing my favourite shirts
Picking the wrong egg.
ignoring the crazy/hot coefficient
Drinking too much