How does someone politely end a conversation with a person who won't stop talking?

  1. With some people it’s impossible. I worked with a guy who wouldn’t stop talking, long boring stories with no point and no end.

  2. I recently finished a contracted job and one of my coworkers was the exact same way. I’m also in school. I’d clearly be deep into my papers and laptop and the rambling would start. I’m not a rude person so I’d try to divert my attention to her but contribute minimal to the conversation or sometimes turn back to my work. Didn’t make a bit of difference. On and on it would go. I’d be annoyed and stressed by the end of the day when we worked together. I never understood how they had no self-awareness. Glad that is behind me for now.

  3. I had a roomate that would do this, every day coming home from work he'd usually be there and I start downing a few shots of liquor just to get through his ensuing 40m+ rant about how stupid / annoying everyone at work is.

  4. Yea I worked with a dude who needed to talk. I just talked to him to be polite and not awkward. And I remember him saying "at least your not one of those people who are silent all day". In my head I'm like, "FUCK, I wish I could be silent all day but now that you said that it would be even more awkward".

  5. I once worked with a man that managed to say nothing, despite talking nonstop. He would explain an issue to me over the span of 5 min. I would say "OK, so the issue you're having is x?" and he would say "No" then launch into a 5 min monologue about something completely different. One time, after half an hour talking with him I still had no idea what the problem was, so I said "put all the issues in an email so I can put it in the queue" and just fucking left. Never got a coherent email either but at least a rambling incoherent email is easier to walk away from and less time consuming.

  6. If you're in an office building with someone (or any location the person you're talking to has a desk), one trick you can try is walking them back to their desk, say something like "well, I'll let you get back to it!", then turn around and leave.

  7. One of my colleagues also doesn't stop talking. I once sat in the office and he and another colleague were having a "conversation" which means he spoke and the other guy listened, even trying to interject didn't work until the guy just formed his hand into a T and started yelling TIMEOUT, TIMEOUT, IT IS MY TURN TO TALK. That baffled him enough that he stopped, my other colleague starts talking and the talkative one starts talking over him. Cue the TIMEOUT thing again. I had to leave the office as I couldn't stifle my laughter any longer. Both of these men are in their 50's.

  8. Omg this absolute sweetheart and useful and hardworking manager had this one teammember who would whinge-monologue at him for 15 mins a day at the end of her day, until one day he snapped I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS and she never did it again 🤣

  9. I have a family member like this and has been diagnosed with mental health issues. His one big thing is the incessant talking, often about himself, or just any topic he likes. There’s no back and forth, he just likes to hear himself talk.

  10. And then there are people who don’t have anything to say and are difficult to keep a convo going with. Life is interesting.

  11. In Spanish we say, “bueno”. There are several different ways to say the word that can mean something different in my culture. A quick, curt “bueno” and standing up or making a move means I gotta gtfo. A more drawn out “bueeno” means I gotta go, but I’ll say a few goodbyes first and you end up talking for a bit longer. A resigned, drawn out “bueeno, bueeno”, can mean ok I’ll stay for just a few more minutes, an annoyed and firm “bueno” means you need the other person to stop right in their tracks or you disagree with what they’re saying and you’re leaving. There are more ways to use the word, too. Lol.

  12. In Ireland we do like a little clap/slap our thigh/clap the person's shoulder and say 'Right! Shur look, I'll let you go...' as if we're being polite and letting the other person off the hook, but actually it's like get me the fuck out of here haha!

  13. In midwestern America we say “welp” and slap our thigh and then stand up and say “id love to stay and chat but I’ve gotta get goin’” I thought it was just my family but it turns out this is the midwestern thing to do in these situations

  14. Where is Flanders? Am I a bad person because I thought for a moment that it was some Simpson’s reference to how that character talks and the word was going to be something like “Indeedily-doodily!”?

  15. In French we have a couple of expression to finish a discussion, "Bref" / "Bon" / "C'est pas tout ça", depending on the situation you are in (awkward silence, person who cannot stop talking, or a polite way to say you wish to end the conversation there)

  16. It's terrible, but we DO have to wait for a breath to excuse ourselves! The whole time you are thinking, "Good God. How long can this person babble so I can interject the fact I need to go?" AND it may take several tries!

  17. My workplace has someone like this and it’s pretty much become a part of our culture to monitor who is trapped talking to her, for how long they’ve been stuck, and to rescue them after an appropriate amount of time has passed. She doesn’t get it, and probably never will.

  18. This is so true. People that do this don't care whether you're into the conversation or not, they're talking simply because they want to. I've gotten better at just interjecting (even mid-sentence if I've already tried everything else) with, "I'm sorry, I have to go. (start walking away at this point) It was nice talking to you." Don't give any excuses or reasons for leaving, just do it otherwise they'll try to talk about your reasons.

  19. When I first met my MIL I was shocked at how rude her whole family was, they would just walk away from her mid sentence. It took a lot of work, but now I'm in able to do the same after 3 polite attempts to leave.

  20. I used to work in a cube farm for corporate it infrastructure. Some really smart people but also some really strange people. It wasn’t unusual with particular people for me to just say, “alright you gotta leave now, I have to work to do.” Without being very direct, they weren’t planning to let you out.

  21. My husband worked with a woman who would not stop talking. Just wouldn't. So you'd gather your stuff, while she monologued. You'd say goodbye to everyone else, while she monologued. You'd walk to the door as she followed you and shut the door in her face while she monologued. You could hear her still talking to you behind the closed door while you walked away.

  22. True, but I have found people that don't stop talking are not offended if you just cut them off. There really is no other way. "Sorry, I have to go." It doesn't mean you don't like them and it certainly doesn't mean they won't talk to you next time. You just have to go.

  23. In fact they are the impolite ones, by continuing on and/or being oblivious to the cues that the other person is pretty much done with them.

  24. My British friend would wait for the tiniest pause, slap his leg, stand up and say “well, it’s been great chatting mate, I’m on my way” and just leave. His parents would do the same thing to whoever they were talking to. The Brits have ending a conversation down.

  25. I literally quit band and playing trombone in 8th grade because the kid next to me never shut the hell up. The thing was, the kid was always picked on so I felt bad and was never mean to him - and because of that I could never get him to end a conversation. Like - if he could have stopped talking for 5 god damn seconds I may have not went mental and quit. I was 14, waking up at 6am to go to school band practice each morning and then listening to him ramble on about some random crap from his reading right to left books and then asking - "do you know what I am saying?" with his sour milk smelling breath EVERY TIME WE PUT THE TROMBONES DOWN was enough for 14 year old me to decide I value an hour more of sleep over this.

  26. I’ve worked with several people like this. They don’t even notice your lack of interest. One person would not stop talking to me at my desk. So I stopped paying any attention to her. I just stared straight at my monitor and worked, never saying a word. She still kept on talking.

  27. After having stuck it out too many times with people who don't pick up on cues, I just throw in a "cool, gotta go" and dip out. You don't even have to do that if you just don't stop moving your feet. If you stop, you need a reason to start moving again. Just keep moving, that's what busy people do.

  28. I seriously need to learn how to do this. I'm too polite and like a magnet for these types who just want a warm body to talk at. Can barely get a word in edgewise and when I do it's like they dont even hear me.

  29. I learned a trick. Most excessive talkers hate listening. So I simply participate and tell my own stories. After one or two stories they are usually ready to leave themselves to seek their next victim.

  30. Ugh same. It amazes me how some people can go on and on. I often feel like they really need someone to talk to but why do they pick me! I’ve started cutting them off, I just can’t do it anymore. It’s rude of them really. Good luck internet stranger!

  31. I have a coworker who is like this, she will talk about the same topic every time I see her. If I ever try to input stuff about myself she completely ignores it and changes the topic back to herself. It's fascinating seeing how starved my girl is to talk about the same thing multiple days in a row.

  32. Sorry, did you say something? Anyway, about that thing that just happened, so I was like hey, and they were like hey, and then

  33. This is why I hate taking Lyft/Uber alone, I seem to always get the folks who just want to talk the entire time. My boyfriend tells me to just not engage but when you’re in a car with someone it’s kinda hard not to. The ONE time I just wore headphones the whole time, the driver at the end said “maybe you’ll actually talk next time”

  34. I was looking for this. A fellow Midwesterner. However, we all know this only leads to the parting, by the door conversation, where it takes 15 minutes to put on your shoes and coat... which eventually leads to the open door, and halfway out on the porch conversation. Enter, the conversation at the bottom of the porch, inching to the driveway. The standing next to your open car, hand over the door conversation, and finally the, in the car, slowly inching out, window down conversation. This is where they'll finally let you go, but not without the wave until you're no longer visible.

  35. As a teacher, I have learned how to interrupt people who do not leave any pauses when they’re speaking: start nodding and verbally agreeing with them, “Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh…” You can’t interrupt these people, but you can start agreeing while they speak, then raise your voice and say, “Yeah, wow, excuse me but I must go.”

  36. My friend has Aspergers and I actually asked him about how he knows a conversation is too long and we discussed how he can’t recognize subtle social cues.

  37. As somebody who can't tell when I've talked too long, I am very open with most of my friends that I will try but if it is ever time for me to stop talking, just tell me and I won't be offended. Friends like you who are willing to do that are the best!

  38. As someone in a similar boat, I have the opposite problem, I can't keep a conversation going for the life of me.

  39. You are a good friend, as a neurodivergent person myself I fall foul of not recognising social queues myself. My SO is much more sensitive to this & the agreed signal when I am seen dominating a conversation is the question "do you know the time?". This is my que too check my phone, pause & ask an open question.

  40. I wish more people would stop expecting the Autistic person to change and instead just be more direct in their communication.

  41. You are a good person. I'm neurodivergent myself and often worry (in hindsight) that I am being rude, even when I don't mean to be by dominating a conversation.

  42. I have a brother on the spectrum, and it gave me a lot of practice with this. It also irritated me to no end before he got a diagnosis and I understood why he wasn't getting it.

  43. Diagnosed with Asperger's myself and just wanted to add - you are a treasure. Thank you for being so proactive with them. Over time, some cues become easier to recognize but it's an ongoing battle. Practices like this and similar really take a lot of internal anxiety away from conversations.

  44. I'm autistic, i almost never talk because nobody really likes me, so when i do find somebody who likes me, i find myself talking on and on forever. I don't recognize the ques when they are trying to be nice, but i can definantly see it when they start to look bored or wanna leave, making feel like my insides shriveled up and died. I've pretty much chased away everyone at my school at this point, whether i did it myself or they just never liked me in the first place. Only my sister listens to me talk now :(

  45. People who are like this expect folks to just walk away from them while they are talking because that’s the only way the conversation ends. It’s not rude to them, it’s normal. So, it’s entirely okay to say, “all right this has been great, see you later,” and then just walk away smiling.

  46. Neighbor across the street is just the sweetest guy but quite a talker. And has serious ADHD and is mostly deaf and some eyesight issues, so he will randomly start talking about another topic, then jump to another, and another, and won’t hear/see when you try to squeeze in an excuse to leave.

  47. At work we were taught in an H.R. video to use "Excuse me, sorry to cut you off but I cannot spend any more time with you right now, thanks and good bye."

  48. Wow no comments under yours huh. This is the quintessential “I’m being authentic and honest no harm no foul” answer. Underrated and hope it gets more attention. The follow up is key so people understand you really mean it.

  49. “Oh my gosh I have already taken up so much of your time—I am so sorry! I’m even running late myself!”

  50. Sounds like you had a pretty special and intimate relationship with this hammer and that losing it was almost comparable to losing a loved one.

  51. The "thank you" does the trick for me. It somehow triggers a natural cadence of "the end of a transaction", because it's something you normally do after someone finishes something.

  52. I've been browsing this thread for reasons why people do this (that's not related to autism). I know someone who went through abuse and trauma as a child and it is difficult for this person to not talk because once they stop talking, they immediaty experience automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) and intrusive memories.

  53. And if you're having a conversation with somebody and they say "wow, that's crazy" more than twice, it's time to stop talking.

  54. People who are like this expect folks to just walk away from them while they are talking because that’s the only way the conversation ends. It’s not rude to them, it’s normal. So, it’s entirely okay to say, “all right this has been great, see you later,” and then just walk away smiling.

  55. Yeah my neighbor does the endless talking and his yard sits above me so he talks down at me and at some point I just start making distance while he keeps starting new topics until there is a quick end to a sentence and I can turn the corner and disappear. It feels wrong but seems to be the expected behavior at this point and we have a good relationship.

  56. I have a coworker who will keep talking even while I'm walking away haha, I'll be 20 ft away and still hear them talking

  57. "Oh man, that three bean burrito I bought from that dude in the abandoned K-Mart parking lot is not agreeing with me. Let's continue this conversation in the bathroom, ok? I have to warn you though, there will be lots of screaming."

  58. "I'm lactose intolerant and I just had a milkshake. I need to go spend the next day hunched over on the toilet wishing for the sweet release of death."

  59. Okay except I've actually used this excuse so many times while pregnant. You just get to totally interrupt the person and be like "Excuse me, baby has decided I really need to use the washroom, bye!" And everyone laughs good naturedly and you totally get a free pass, lol.

  60. If you can practice this, start to train one of your eyeballs to slowly drift off whilst the other eye remains locked on theirs. That should do the trick.

  61. Set up a code ladies and gents! My sister and I have this thing to get out of situations from small annoyances to potentially dangerous encounters. I subtly call her and depending on how the situation is set up I’ll either pretend she called me or pretend we’ve been texting and I suddenly need to call her. Our code is “Oh my god, is grandma okay??” in the most concerned and panicky voice. Of course the party on the other end is just chillen, but it usually works like a charm on any unwanted company

  62. When I was in middle school during lunch our vice principal was listening to a teacher drone on about something. Mid sentence he just pointed in a direction and said I'm going to walk over here now and left.

  63. I pretend to sneeze. I squint and go AhHhHhH! AaHhHh! Backing up and after a good 10 ft I casually turn around and walk away.

  64. there's a guy at my office who, when someone does this to him, will get up and follow them out of the room while continuing to talk at them. I've seen him follow people into the damn parking lot. dude really loves to talk.

  65. Hah, I think this is similar to my approach. Come into my office and sit down? I'll chat a while, but eventually I just stand up and start walking to the door, and people get the message. I've gotten up and left meetings when the end has gone on too long - my department only had 4 people.

  66. "Sorry, Gotta go!" Don't make elaborate excuses, everyone can tell you're making shit up. A person who actually has somewhere to be doesn't have the time to do that

  67. The talkers probably don’t notice if you’re lying to them. They’re so caught up in not shutting the fuck up that they don’t hear a word anyone says

  68. My husband is on the spectrum and struggles with this. Sometimes I have to pull him aside and tell him it's time to allow for natural breaks in the conversation. He'll often blurt out loudly "Am I doing that thing where I'm talking all the time?!!"......

  69. And on the opposite side of this, before I learned proper social cues I’d just say “okay bye” when I was done with conversations. Regardless of if people were still speaking with me.

  70. While my husband is not on the spectrum, he does have very bad adhd, and my could go on and on. I usually place my hand on him (shoulder or leg), nothing too obvious, and he knows that’s his cue to let another person talk.

  71. I dont know why some people are so afraid of this. It is not rude. You don’t need to lie. “We can speak more other time. Goodbye.” is fine

  72. You make THEM end the conversation. Remember, everyone hates talking to people who talk about themselves. So you just prepare a longwinded, incredibly narcissistic story about your spiritual journey that you tell to make people leave. Even better if they've heard it before. They change the subject? Drag it back to your story about your spiritual journey. Totally self centered. Totally vacuous. Totally narcissistic.

  73. I went on the worst road trip ever once. Three couples, we were in Portland, Oregon, headed to Seattle for a soccer game.

  74. OP asked for a polite way to end a conversation, not some fake excuses to get out of the situation. I am assuming we are not talking about best friends here, but mere acquaintances or colleagues. And not all of them are stupid, they know when you're making up shit to leave.

  75. I had to explain this to a coworker recently. He was tasked with training me but is a terrible teacher. He brags about knowing everything and “won’t teach people who don’t want to learn” - but he can’t. He mutters, mumbles, changes his mind and goes off on weird tangents and hypothetical situations. Um, er, I guess, except, erm, well, it depends, etc.

  76. I feel like younger generations are moving on from bothering with obvious bullshit pleasantries/politeness and I think that's for the better for everyone

  77. Fart HARD and LOUD. Make sure to maintain direct eye contact while performing this maneuver. If this does not work slowly waft your fart and inhale it deeply. Take pleasure in it's smell. That ought to do it.

  78. "Wow, you have a lot of opinions about this subject..." and then never stop angling the conversation back to how weird it is that they're still talking.

  79. My uncle used to go on an epic gish gallop when he was talking about religion. I used to simply walk away. It's not rude when they are refusing to let you talk.

  80. Had someone rewind a political ad to read the fine print about who sponsored it. It was some PAC "not affiliated with any candidate". He claimed it was the Democrats giving to a weak Republican candidate to defeat an incumbent Republican so they could proceed to lose to the Democrat in the general election.

  81. Be careful. If you slap them and you happen to also be holding a glove in that hand, you've just challenged them to a duel. And they get to choose the weapon, I believe.

  82. As someone who has worked directly with the public for almost 20 years, I can say that I have a pretty good amount of experience with this…. :)

  83. I discovered a neighbour of mine who I knew 15 years ago, who I cut the fuck out of my life due to the long winded ramblings, is my distant neighbour.

  84. My husband does this. Talk and talk even when no one is actively listening. Sometimes I have to gently say "baby,no one is listening and you are still talking. The conversation is moved on and now others are talking." And he is like oh. It sucks sometimes becuase I'll have more than one person talking to me and he just keeps talking and talking and talking even if he didn't start the conversation first.

  85. You don't need to be polite to people who are annoying. You can just interrupt them and tell them that you need to go take care of something and just leave. Be as polite as you want with the interruption and leaving but do so with the conviction of a god. If you're firm enough no one can question you.

  86. “Well, it’s been nice talking to you! I’ll let Sam know I ran into you. See you again soon”

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