Men of Reddit: what’s the creepiest thing a woman has ever said to you?

  1. I bartended at a small dive bar years ago. It was late one night, and I had a lone female guest. She was probably middle aged, polite and short while ordering her drink. I thought nothing strange or got no red flags, so I continued my closing duty, sweeping around the tables in particular( not behind the bar). I’m focused on cleaning and getting out of there, and I turn around to dump dust pan, and she’s standing right behind me staring me dead in the eye.

  2. Sounds like a woman who was going through a really dark time in her life, but it definitely doesn’t excuse her behavior. Sounds like she might have had a mental breakdown.

  3. Mine is so harmless in comparison to a lot of these but was stoned and hooking up with this girl. We are foreplaying and she’s sitting cowgirl kissing my neck and l am digging it. Suddenly she’s like licking and slurping my neck and chest. She sits up, moves her face an inch from mine to stare into my eyes and says:

  4. Not something she said, but I was in line at Starbucks and this lady just started sniffing me. Like head back, eyes closed deep sniffing me a cm from the back of my neck. It was weird.

  5. At a bar a woman a good 20 years older than me walked up from behind me ran her hands through my hair and said “I’m a dominatrix”

  6. She held up a banana and asked if my penis was the same size. In the middle of a dinner rush. As loud as can be. In front of about five customers and everyone on shift that night. And this was after she groped my brother's ass. Somehow she didn't get fired for this shit and I still resent my former boss for not being more attentive.

  7. Had a similar situation happen in an office job as the only guy. Chick i already told i wasnt interested randomly says "We should go to a nude beach, I'd like to see your body in the sun", loud af in front of EVERYONE including my boss.

  8. As a child (< 10 y.o.), my then-stepmom requested some specific candy bar from my trick-or-treating haul. When I refused, she casually said, "I'll rape you for it."

  9. that's terrifying im so sorry. im especially sorry that ppl r making a joke out of you being sexually assaulted

  10. Oh and one night she wanted to make us a special bath. I dont know what she put in it or if she even knows anymore (we talked about it since), but it burned the shit out of my skin and freaked me out lol

  11. The moment you said she didn't sleep I called a manic episode. Its such a scary decline, and it's so easy to miss when it's starting.

  12. “i want to have sex with you and I want my husband to come in the room to catch us having sex and you ending up fighting him”

  13. If a partner I really loved and trusted said this to me though, I’d think it’s the funniest shit ever

  14. A woman I matched with on Tinder told me that she likes to kill animals, and then asked to meet me in the middle of the woods.

  15. "You're so cute! I want to break into your room, kill you and stuff you so that we can be together forever!"

  16. “Do you want to stick it in my stinky, sticky pussy.” I was still a virgin and this question did not convince me to stick it anywhere for a while.

  17. Lmao was she my neighbor? I used to have these crackhead neighbors that would get in crazy loud public arguments and one night we were in bed, and all we hear from the apartment below us is him screaming "I AM SO SICK AND TRIED OF YOUR SQUEAKY STINKY PUSSY". We weren't even mad, we couldn't stop laughing.

  18. I worked at a fast food place years ago. My girlfriend came in for a milkshake, and was waiting at the end of the counter with one of our regulars. Doris, the regular, was near 90 years old, and had invited me home to have pot roast at her house multiple times.

  19. I worked at a caviar bar in SF and it was basically cougar bait. One time this relatively older lady said "you look just like my son. You should come home with me." B should not follow from A.

  20. I was sleeping with a woman in her 40s in my mid 20s. One day after sex she looked me deeply in the eye and said "wow. You really remind me of my son" with a big smile on her face and leaned in for a kiss.

  21. I had a lady friend who was adamant she was pregnant with my child. I pulled her dad aside and explained what she had told me expecting a lashing and how I’m gonna pay for this kid. He calmly goes “she does this with everyone who wants to leave her, just walk away and have a good life”. 100% wish he was my dad. Cool ass dude with a shit daughter.

  22. Drunk woman with an older lady nearby sat down next to me on a bench and looked at me “I’ll fuck you if you can beat up my mom over there”

  23. “If I see you in ten years with a different woman and you’re married, I will kill her and you in your sleep”, that was after I dumped my ex. That is definitely in the top 10 of creepiest things I’ve been told.

  24. As a physical therapist, fresh out of P.T. school I was tasked with massaging the piriformis muscle of a 40-something woman, who was "in town on business."

  25. As a professional massage therapist, I recognize this particular game, but with men it’s “upper thigh” and I’m like “that’s where your femoral artery is, so unless you wanna die…..”

  26. A girl once told me that she was jealous of her friend because she got raped and got a cute baby out of it. I don't think I ever felt less comfortable.

  27. Had an ex who routinely threatened to cut it off. Any chance she got, she would have her hands on it and sometimes would say things like, "If you ever cheat on me, I'll cut you dick off" and "If I could cut it off and keep it in a jar, I wouldn't need you anymore". I would wake up with her holding onto it while looking at me. Crazy af but yeah...

  28. Ha! I was once in a pretty remote area of Indonesia where there aren’t many white people around and it was common for people to ask for pictures with me. One day, late at night, I was walking home and a woman on a motorbike pulled up alongside me and in pretty broken English said, “I… picture… you?” I was kind of eager to get home, but for some reason I relented and said okay, but make it fast. I thought she wanted to take a selfie with me, but then she proceeded to show me a photo of myself standing on a street corner smoking a cigarette taken from behind some bushes. Shit looked like a CIA surveillance photo.

  29. Back in college I was at a study group and I found myself talking to this girl. Just talking about class and eventually just talking about random other stuff like life at school and favorite places to eat nearby. Then after a moment of silence she tells me that she wants to see me fight off a group of guys trying to attack her and she’d hold me while I was beaten up and bleeding on the floor.

  30. Reminds me of a few years ago. A woman I didn't even know saw me take a piece of men's jewelry out of my pocket that a friend had given me. She told me to give it to her or she would get her boyfriend who was standing off to the side minding his own business to beat me up and give it to her. I told her to go get him. She changed her mind.

  31. Was on a nearly empty plane, sitting in the last row, in a window seat. No one else in the row. I eventually fell asleep. Woke up with a tatted up goth looking chick sitting next to me, eyes boring a hole through my head, just straight up staring unblinkingly at me. I look at her and I’m like “uh… hi?” She stares for like 5 more long seconds and then exhales, “sorry, you looked like an angel sleeping with the sun on your face” she said breathlessly. We chatted for maybe another 30 seconds or so, she apologized for staring like that a couple more times, then she went back to her seat. Shit was surreal though.

  32. Did some mushrooms when I was like 18 or so. Sat in the town center and the local crazy lady asked me "so how long have you been dead?".

  33. I had an eerily similar experience where a girl who was interested in me was trying to convince me she could hear/see my dead sister. I don't know what she was hoping would happen from that, but I was out of there.

  34. "Five years ago I tried to stab you to death in your sleep, but our daughter heard me in the kitchen getting the knife. After I put her back to bed I decided I should talk to a doctor"

  35. that is fucking disturbing, but the fact that she realised what she was doing and went to a doctor thanks to your daughter. doesn't change the fact that its creepy as hell and would make me feel unsafe af...

  36. First day of my real job right out of college, I was introduced to an older lady in the office. Gave her my name and a handshake, and she proceeded to not say anything and look me up and down like I was a slab of USDA prime beef. Licked her lips. Classic Joyce, as it turns out.

  37. At my first job being a cashier, I had a much older lady tell me I looked like a cute lost puppy, and she wanted to put a leash on me and pull me home Edit: I see how some people might see this as a bad attempt at being cute, but there’s more to it. I was 18, this lady easily 65-70 years old. She was biting her lip and staring me up and down the whole time, and had this gross grin. It definitely felt sexual and made me so uncomfortable.

  38. I recently spent the weekend with a woman. We have hooked up periodically for the last 25 years. ANYWAYS, we were chatting and she brought up how a guy she had dated insisted he come to a drs appointment with her. The Dr informed her that she has herpes and the guy was disturbed by this. She was complaining about this to me hours after we had sex. She was bitching to a guy who just slept with her that another guy was disturbed by her being diagnosed with herpes.

  39. I stopped seeing this girl because she got a little stalkerish, and one day after getting home from walking my dog (Betsy) I got a text from her saying, “Betsy got so big!!!”

  40. "My friend had sex with you when you passed out drunk last night. She didn't use a condom and now you owe her $40 because she had to use a Plan B kit."

  41. Honestly, I really dislike when people brush up male rape as invalid, as if male rape doesn’t exist because they’re the minority of rape cases. I’d imagine that the chat to the HR was pretty hard for you because of it. Hope you’re ok by the way.

  42. My male friend at college was raped. Nobody believed him because the woman who had done it was a social media personality with a large following. It's so fucked up. The woman ended up pregnant, but was very much no-show the whole time so her fans didn't know. She birthed the baby and left it with him. He's never heard from her since.

  43. Co-worker once said to me in a oddly serious more of a hint kind of way after I told her I wasn't looking to mess around or for a relationship.

  44. I haven't had women say particularly creepy things to me, but at conventions I've had women sniff my hair on the escalator, and I've had my tights covered ass groped. Only ever by women.

  45. Had some partial facial hair because I was travelling and doing a lot of scuba. Wanted a better mask seal but didn't want an Abe Lincoln look so I shaved more than just the mustache and sort of had a reverse goatee with huge sideburns. Was rolling up to a bar in a Caribbean town and a rotund, older lady on a golf cart told me to "come on over here and let me marinate those lambchops." Typically pretty quick on my verbal feet I had zero comeback for that.

  46. As gross as that may have been, that’s a pretty funny line lol. Never heard that one before. I wouldn’t know how to reply either.

  47. Similar but I overheard a girl I was hooking up with talking to another girl (who was a mutual friend) and she said she was hoping to trick me into getting drunk so I would cum in her and get her pregnant. Mutual friend agreed it was a good idea. Needless to say, I don’t speak to either of them any longer

  48. As a child I had a woman tell me I’m cute and that they hope to see me when I’m older, didnt realize why my parents were outraged at the time. Before anybody asks I am not a native English speaker and in my language we have different types of cute like for puppies or clothes or the one she used which is cute but like kinda sexualized

  49. " i want to rape you." Me: you mean like...kink roleplay..rough bdsm...? " No i mean like violently rape you, forcefully, against your will...:)"

  50. Just casually having pizza after work and she says "I don't even care where the sperm comes from, I want a baby as soon as possible".

  51. I was once on the dating site OKCupid and I started talking talking to a girl and one of the first things I said to her was "What are you looking for on this site? and her response was something along the lines of "Honestly, I'm looking for a sweet young man to take out for a night of drinking, take him back to my apartment, lure him into bed, tie him up, suffocate him until he stops struggling, strip him of his flesh then donate his skeleton for science. How about you?"

  52. Went on three dates and I tried to end it and she grabbed a knife and a bottle of pills and said “we’re gonna have some fun”

  53. Ex-wife's grandmother told my ex-wife to get me drunk and rape me after finding out I didn't want children. Said it right in front of me, then looked at me and told me to "Man up and get her pregnant".

  54. My mother once more or less hinted this is how my younger sibling came to be. Of course, she doesn't consider it rape, but I know what's what, and it's so disgusting

  55. Ryan: Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun, and I’m learning that fun for Kelly is getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me.

  56. So a few years back I was working as a bouncer for a Halloween event at this club. Fast forward to 3am and It’s closing time, I’m showing everybody to the door.

  57. At uni, I was a first year (18 year old male), and an older, mature student (in her 50s) drunkenly told me she wanted to wear my asshole like a cockring.

  58. Slept with a girl once, three days later in a crowded car with our friends, she turned and stared at me for a few seconds, and said, "We should get married."

  59. I was in a relationship that was nearing its end. One day, my gf was both intoxicated and very upset with me. I didn't intend to, but I had embarrassed her earlier in the evening. As she was yelling at me, she said "I don't think you get how this works, I could call the police right now, make something up, and you'd be sitting in a jail cell tonight."

  60. Said? It was what she did, third date I go to her place to pick her up, all the lights are out, and maybe 100 candles are lit in the living room creating oppressive heat (it was middle of summer and in the midst of a heat wave), I go in, she’s been crying and she proceeds to tell me she loves and shows me her arm: my name has been cut into it in 2” letters.

  61. A woman told me she punched a carrot into a man’s ass because he asked her too, he didn’t asked to be punched but she got scared… so punched it in

  62. Creepiest? Well there was one time a gal I was interested in told me about the time they'd gotten frisky with the family dog.

  63. An ex of mine told me that she ate her mother's ass because some guy paid them to do it. That relationship was short lived.

  64. When my wife and I had our first child via Caesarian section, I was in the operating room when the anesthesia provider was starting to wake her up. Out of no where she started to come to. She opens her eyes, sees me and just says “I saw your dad. He told me to tell you not to worry.. you’re going to be a great father”.

  65. I was 14, and riding the bus to my friend's house when an elderly woman I didn't know sat down next to me and hissed, "I know that you touch me while I am sleeping. I KNOW it."

  66. Middle school girlfriend showed up at my house a few years after we broke up and said “I don’t like you, I don’t love you, but I want to lose my virginity to you.”

  67. I have a couple of good ones. There was this girl who apparently was pretty into me in high school. I didn't start having any real interest in dating until college, so I was a bit oblivious to her initial flirting. So she got more direct. Her moves included:

  68. Damn, I was rooting her on as an awkward teenager not understanding how to flirt …. Then came the plot twist

  69. Old lady getting therapy at a PT Clinic I was a tech at years ago said, “I’d love to take you home and keep you in my closet.” Proceeded to slap my ass later that same appointment. Those old women are wild lol

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may have missed