I WAS IN A STORE YESTERDAY AND "NOTHING ELSE MATTERS" CAME OVER THE IN-STORE MUSIC AND I STARTED HEARING IT IN ERIC CARTMAN'S VOICE AND NOW I CAN'T UNHEAR IT, EVEN FOR OTHER METALLICA SONGS.
MY WIFE IS ALREADY PEPPERING THE MARIAH CAREY CHRISTMAS SONG INTO EVERY CAR TRIP PLAYLIST AND IF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH THAT SONG YOU KNOW WHY I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS
HEY GUYS I'M CONFUSED. I'M IN ATLANTA WITH MY SEC CHAMPIONSHIP TICKETS AND THERE ARE NO OTHER BAMA FANS AROUND. WE'RE ABOUT TO GET BUKAKED BY GEORGIA RIGHT?
PLATE ARMOR IS IMPRACTICAL ATTIRE FOR THE SWAMPY TERRAIN PREVALENT IN CENTRAL FLORIDA OR SOUTH LOUISIANA AS IT PRESENTS AN ADDED RISK OF DROWNING IF ONE WERE TO FALL INTO THE WATER. POSSIBLY AFTER BEING WASHED THERE BY SOME SORT OF WAVE.
ROD GILMORE IS THE WORST ANNOUNCER IN THE WORLD. SHUT UP ABOUT DANIELSON OR MOWINS OR WHOEVER THE FUCK. UNTIL YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ROD GILMORE CALL A GAME THAT YOU CARE ABOUT, YOU DON'T KNOW RAGE. ROD GILMORE NEEDS TO STOP ANNOUNCING FOR MY OWN SANITY.
I AM THE BIGGEST UTAH FAN IN THE WORLD. UTAH IS MY FAVORITE TEAM EVER. I LOVE UTAH. I LOVE CAM RISING. I HOPE UTAH WINS BECAUSE I LOVE UTAH. NO OTHER REASON.
OKAY TRUE PROBABLY I’M JUST CONFLICTED BC TULANE DESERVES THEIR FIRST AAC CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP BUT ALSO WOULD BE A COOL BOOKEND IF UCF LEAVES HOW IT STARTED
IF IT TURNS OUT TO BE A MISTAKE, IT'S ONE WE ALL AGREED WAS WORTH TRYING. EXCEPT FOR A FEW NEGATIVE NANCIES, WHO WILL BE ABSOLUTELY INSUFFERABLE EVERY TIME WE LOSE A GAME OR ALLOW AN OPPONENT TO SCORE OR MISS A BLOCK OR ALLOW A PUNT RETURN OR JUMP OFFSIDES OR LOSE A RECRUIT OR...
YOU KEEP THE NAME OF THE LORDS CHICKEN OUT OF YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT ILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOUR LIFE LIVING HELL YOU TAKE THE LORDS CHICKENS NAME IN VAIN ONE MORE TIME AND I SWEAR ILL FIND THE MOTEL 8 JJ MCCARTHY IS STAYING IN THIS WEEKEND AND SLIT HIS ACHILLES TENDON WITH A RUSTY KNIFE AND POUR POLYNESIAN SAUCE IN THE WOUND
IT'S BEEN A WHILE BUT I'M SETTLING INTO THIS OFFSEASON CONTENT ABOUT OUR HEAD COACH AND (MOST OF) OUR COORDINATORS. THE ONE COORDINATOR I THOUGHT WOULD BE ONE OF THE FIRST TO GET LET GO WAS, IN FACT, ONE OF THE FIRST LET GO YESTERDAY. STRANGE FEELING, BUT A WELCOME ONE. FUCK YOU, G**** C******.
I ain't sayin shit. I feel like I'm pressed against the jeep in Jurassic Park staring down a fucking t-rex. I've never wanted to win so bad in my life and it ain't gonna be my dumb ass mouth bringing down the wrath of the CFB elder gods.
USING LOGIC AND RATIONALITY: TRAINS CRUSH WOLVERINES, WILDCATS ARE BIGGER THAN HORNY TOADS, AND TIGAHS ARE LARGER THAN BULLDOGS. MAXIMUM CHAOS THIS WEEKEND YALL.
UTAH FANS FAVORITE METALLICA ALBUM IS ST. ANGER
IT’S TRUE, THERE ARE NO CURSE WORDS ON THAT ONE.
OKAY BRO THATS TOO FAR.
I DIDNT LOVE THE SINGLE FOR THE NEW ONE COMING OUT BUT I STILL HAVE HIGH HOPES
I WAS IN A STORE YESTERDAY AND "NOTHING ELSE MATTERS" CAME OVER THE IN-STORE MUSIC AND I STARTED HEARING IT IN ERIC CARTMAN'S VOICE AND NOW I CAN'T UNHEAR IT, EVEN FOR OTHER METALLICA SONGS.
ST. ANGER ISN'T A BAD SONG THOUGH
Oh yeah? Well USC fans loved the final season of Game of Thrones.
MY WIFE IS ALREADY PEPPERING THE MARIAH CAREY CHRISTMAS SONG INTO EVERY CAR TRIP PLAYLIST AND IF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH THAT SONG YOU KNOW WHY I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS
I DONT WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS
MY GIRLFRIEND PUT UP OUR CHRISTMAS TREE TWO WEEKS BEFORE THANKSGIVING. I UNDERSTAND
WELL OF COURSE I KNOW WHY, THIS IS THE TRASH TALK THREAD. THAT’S WHAT WE DO HERE
MARIAH CAREY WRITES A CHECK FOR EVERYTHING AND ASKS TO NOT CASH IT UNTIL 12/1
THE TRUE PIANO FINGERBANGER
HERE YOU GO. ADD THIS TO HELP COUNTER IT:
I NEVER REALLY MINDED THAT ONE. CAREY PUTS ON A WONDERFUL PERFORMANCE ON THAT TRACK AND IT'S UNDENIABLY CATCHY.
L S WHO!?!?!
THIS SAYING WORKS ESPECIALLY WELL NOW GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, EARLY WOULD BE PROUD
I DON'T THINK BRIAN KELLY EVEN KNOWS HOW TO MAKE GUMBO
LSU: COACHED BY
YOU CAN'T SPELL LSU WITHOUT THE L
DAWGS BY FIDDY
NO BOWL GAME MEANS WE GET A HEAD START ON BROWSING THE COACHING MARKETPLACE
COULD I INTEREST YOU IN ONE BRANDON STREETER
WE HAVE THE BETTER PURPLE
PANTONE #4d1979 BEATS THE PISS OUT OF #512888 ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.
You're probably right. Our purple will just run all over the field on Saturday.
HEY GUYS I'M CONFUSED. I'M IN ATLANTA WITH MY SEC CHAMPIONSHIP TICKETS AND THERE ARE NO OTHER BAMA FANS AROUND. WE'RE ABOUT TO GET BUKAKED BY GEORGIA RIGHT?
NO YALL ARE PLAYING BEAMER BALL INSTEAD GOOD LUCK THOUGH!
IF YOU CAN’T FIND ONE OTHER ALABAMA FAN IN ATLANTA, YOU AREN’T ACTUALLY LOOKING.
THIS IS A FUCKING LIE BECAUSE I LIVE IN ATLANTA AND THERE ARE MORE BAMA FANS HERE THAN THERE ARE GEORGIA TECH FANS...WHICH IS TO SAY THERE ARE DOZENS!
ONE OF URBAN MEYER’S BEST QUALITIES IS HE WONT BE POACHED BY AN NFL JOB.
DO YOU LIKE MY EGG, IT'S NICE AND BRIGHT AND SHINY. ALSO IT'S BACK WHERE IT BELONGS.
I CAN’T WAIT FOR UNC TO OUTSUCK US INTO AN ORANGE BOWL LOSS TO OSU
I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT I GOT INTO IOWA STATE EVEN THOUGH I NEVER APPLIED.
AMES LOOKS LIKE A NICE TOWN.
YOU HAD A DREAM ABOUT IOWA STATE TOO?
HOW IS IT ALREADY THURSDAY AND ALSO THE END OF THE SEASON
ITS NOT THE END OF THE SEASON UNTIL OUR GAME!
PLATE ARMOR IS IMPRACTICAL ATTIRE FOR THE SWAMPY TERRAIN PREVALENT IN CENTRAL FLORIDA OR SOUTH LOUISIANA AS IT PRESENTS AN ADDED RISK OF DROWNING IF ONE WERE TO FALL INTO THE WATER. POSSIBLY AFTER BEING WASHED THERE BY SOME SORT OF WAVE.
WAVES ARE GREEN DUE TO PHYTOPLANKTON CONTAINING CHLOROPHYL. GREEN WAVES ARE ANGRY BECAUSE THEY LOST 5 STRAIGHT GAMES TO UCF.
DONT LET THE UGA-LSU SEC CHAMPIONSHIP DISTRACT YOU FROM THE FACT THAT HUGH FREEZE PAYS FOR SEX
HAVE YOU SEEN HIS TEETH? IF HE WENT DOWN ON A WOMAN HE WOULD ACCIDENTALLY GIVE THEM A HYSTERECTOMY
HUGH FREEZE PAYS FOR SEX WHILE PREACHING ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT HIS DAUGHTER’S VIRGINITY IS TO HIM. NO THIS IS NOT A JOKE HE ACTUALLY DID THIS.
HUGH FREEZE DM'D A LIBERTY STUDENT SUING HIS BOSS FOR COVERING UP SEXUAL ASSAULT.
HUGH FREEZE MAKES BOBBY PETRINO LOOK LIKE A PARAGON OF MORAL VIRTUE
MORE IMPORTANTLY HE DOES NOT HAVE THE COMMON SENSE TO NOT USE STATE PROPERTY WHILE COMMITTING A CRIME
IM TERRIFIED OF PURDUE PETE. HIS EYES HAUNT ME. WHY IS HE SO CREEPY?! MAKE IT STOP. ITS IN MY DREAMS.
THOMAS THE DANK ENGINE.
HE IS A CENOBITE WHY WOULD YOU MAKE YOUR MASCOT A DEMON VERSION OF WOODY FROM TOY STORY
WIN OR LOSE AT WE DONT LIVE IN FRESNO
FRESNOS NOT A STATE
JOHNNY UTAH IS THE DUMBEST CHARACTER NAME IN THE ENTIRE KEANU REEVES OEUVRE.
UTAH, GET ME TWO
POINT BREAK FUCKING SUCKS.
HEY WEST VIRGINIA FANS WHERE WERE YOU 15 YEARS AGO TODAY
TH PITT OF MISERY
WITH NO OPPONENT THIS WEEKEND AT WHICH TO DIRECT MY IRE, I AM USING THIS POST TO CALL OUT ROD GILMORE.
ROD GILMORE IS THE WORST ANNOUNCER IN THE WORLD. SHUT UP ABOUT DANIELSON OR MOWINS OR WHOEVER THE FUCK. UNTIL YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ROD GILMORE CALL A GAME THAT YOU CARE ABOUT, YOU DON'T KNOW RAGE. ROD GILMORE NEEDS TO STOP ANNOUNCING FOR MY OWN SANITY.
ALABAMA FANS WILL GET NOTHING THIS YEAR AND LIKE IT!
THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL USC’S THAT ARE SUPERIOR TO THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
Useless Sassy Crocodiles needs to be a 15 minute Adult Swim series
Ṕ̸͚̍͜ͅÁ̴̧̲̥̥̭̥̎̆͆̈͝͠Ḯ̴̪̱̱̿̿̓̑́͌ͅN̸̡̈́͆̾̀̈̂̿̽̇̕ͅ ̶̡̭̫̌̈͛͊͌͂̏̕͝Í̴̦͎̳͖̮̲S̶̫̱͖̟̱̥̘̼̫͋̈̈́̋̇ ̸̡̧̧̛̗̝̩̣̎̆̏̊͊̋Ȃ̴̛̠̒̆̍̆̍̿ ̵̡̛̤̙̲͔̜͎̝̠̀͘V̸̡̧̪̣̣͍͔̙̫͗̂͗̀̄̈͆̐͘͝Ì̶̢͍̳̫̪ͅŖ̸̡̡̨̬̹͉̖̹̪͗́͌̉͑͆̀̎̀͝T̵̠̩̼̆̀̉̅͌́͠͝ͅŬ̷̦̺̬͐̓͌͂̏̋͛̚͝È̶̢̛̬̭̖̩̥̦͈̄
OH COOL CAM NEWTON BROWSES THE SUB
I AM THE BIGGEST UTAH FAN IN THE WORLD. UTAH IS MY FAVORITE TEAM EVER. I LOVE UTAH. I LOVE CAM RISING. I HOPE UTAH WINS BECAUSE I LOVE UTAH. NO OTHER REASON.
IS THAT WHY YOU ARE TRYING TO DUCK THEM IN THE ROSE BOWL?!
ARE YOU HOPING FOR A 43 POINT UTAH VICTORY? CAUSE THEY ONLY WON BY 1 THE FIRST TIME.
HEY WAKE FOREST FANS WHERE WERE YOU A YEAR AGO TODAY
IN A GAME THAT NOW LOOKS MORE ENTICING THAN CLEMSON VS UNC SOMEHOW
HANGING OUT WITH PITT, JUST LIKE THIS YEAR
THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN AKRON IS PLAYING A RESCHEDULED GAME AGAINST AKRON ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON.
RYAN DAY ANSWERS THE QUESTION “ WHAT IF JOHN COOPER AND A CASE OF JUST FOR MENS HAD A BABY AND THAT BABY HASN’T BEATEN HIS CHIEF RIVAL THIS DECADE?”
UCF WILL LOSE AND TULANE WILL HAVE OFFICIALLY BEATEN ALL THREE SOON-TO-BE BIG12 TEAMS IN THE CONFERENCE
OKAY TRUE PROBABLY I’M JUST CONFLICTED BC TULANE DESERVES THEIR FIRST AAC CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP BUT ALSO WOULD BE A COOL BOOKEND IF UCF LEAVES HOW IT STARTED
WHY AM I GETTING VIBES FROM LAST YEAR I KNOW WE ARE SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER THAN (L)SU BUT IM STILL LOSING MY SHIT
THAT'S YOUR INNER LARRY MUNSON GETTING SUMMONED BY THE MARK RICHT PTSD
IM SURPRISED THAT LIBERTY DIDN’T OFFER HUGH FREEZE A POSITION ON THEIR UNIVERSITY BOARD SINCE HE EXEMPLIFIES THEIR PRINCIPLES SO WELL
JAKE HAENER, MORE LIKE FAKE LAMER
GOT EM
I DONT WISH UTAH GOOD LUCK IN THEIR NEXT FOOTBALL OUTING. IN FACT I WISH THEM BAD LUCK
ONCE MORE WITH GUSTO:
MIAMI’S SEASON IS OVER
A K-STATE ALUM IS THE REASON TCU IS IN THE BIG 12 AND HAS THEIR PROGRAM WHERE IT IS TODAY YOU OWE US THIS ONE FROGS
HUGH FREEZE MAKES MIKE PRICE LOOK LIKE A BOY SCOUT
HUGH FREEZE MAKES MIKE PRICE LOOK LIKE A VIRGIN
CAN CLEMSON LOSE TO A TEAM NAMED CAROLINA IN BACK TO BACK WEEKS? I HOPE SO!!
THE OLD CAROLINA DP.
I DON'T REALLY HATE LSU SO I'LL JUST HATE ON OUR RIVALS INSTEAD
PO-BOYS ARE AN OVERRATED SANDWICH!
OK HOL UP
GEORGIA COOKING IS KNOWN FOR TWO THINGS, HOT DOGS WITH SHITTY SERVICE AND CHICKEN WITH GOOD SERVICE.
FUCK TOM MANNING HE IS LITERALLY TRASH SO IM GONNA TALK ABOUT HIM.
I THINK WE NEED TO CONTINUING IMPOSING USC POST SEASON BAN. ITS ONLY FAIR. WHAT REGGIE BUSH DID IS SIMPLY UNFORGIVABLE
ITS WEIRD HAVING GENUINE OPTIMISM AND NOT JUST FORCED STOCKHOLM SYNDROME COPING
YOUR TEAM CHEERING FOR BRENT GETTING ANNOUNCED WAS VERY WHOLESOME
IF IT TURNS OUT TO BE A MISTAKE, IT'S ONE WE ALL AGREED WAS WORTH TRYING. EXCEPT FOR A FEW NEGATIVE NANCIES, WHO WILL BE ABSOLUTELY INSUFFERABLE EVERY TIME WE LOSE A GAME OR ALLOW AN OPPONENT TO SCORE OR MISS A BLOCK OR ALLOW A PUNT RETURN OR JUMP OFFSIDES OR LOSE A RECRUIT OR...
🐸👀ALL HAIL!!!
Having non-OUT XII teams in back to back playoffs would be huge for the conference, especially with expansion. Pulling hard for you guys.
More Like the University of North of South Carolina.
WHAT?
SPEAK UP!
LIVVY DUNNE ISN'T EVEN THAT HOT
SHE HAS MORE FOLLOWERS THAN SIMONE BILES WHO IS ALSO ATTRACTIVE AND BETTER AT HER SPORT. ALSO DUNNE IS A BRUNETTE.
MEET ME AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE DOWN THE STREET FROM THE BUTTHOLE STADIUM. WE WILL FIGHT
DON'T HAVE A HORSE IN THIS RACE BUT POPEYE'S >> CHICK FIL A SO GEAUX TIGERS I GUESS
NOT COMPARABLE. CHICK-FIL-A MAKES CHICKEN SANDWICHES AND POPEYES DOES FRIED CHICKEN.
YOU KEEP THE NAME OF THE LORDS CHICKEN OUT OF YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT ILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOUR LIFE LIVING HELL YOU TAKE THE LORDS CHICKENS NAME IN VAIN ONE MORE TIME AND I SWEAR ILL FIND THE MOTEL 8 JJ MCCARTHY IS STAYING IN THIS WEEKEND AND SLIT HIS ACHILLES TENDON WITH A RUSTY KNIFE AND POUR POLYNESIAN SAUCE IN THE WOUND
HEY! WANNA SEE ME PISS OFF A BUNCH OF FAN BASES?
DO YOU WANT A COOKIE OR SOMETHING?
IM IN THIS LIST AND I DONT LIKE IT
USC IS LOOKING FORWARD TO THE CFP & WILL LOSE TO UTAH
IM IN, JUST TO WITNESS THE CHAOS AND THE WAILING OF THE DAMNED!
IT'S BEEN A WHILE BUT I'M SETTLING INTO THIS OFFSEASON CONTENT ABOUT OUR HEAD COACH AND (MOST OF) OUR COORDINATORS. THE ONE COORDINATOR I THOUGHT WOULD BE ONE OF THE FIRST TO GET LET GO WAS, IN FACT, ONE OF THE FIRST LET GO YESTERDAY. STRANGE FEELING, BUT A WELCOME ONE. FUCK YOU, G**** C******.
I ain't sayin shit. I feel like I'm pressed against the jeep in Jurassic Park staring down a fucking t-rex. I've never wanted to win so bad in my life and it ain't gonna be my dumb ass mouth bringing down the wrath of the CFB elder gods.
WHAT
University of Iowa? More University of I don’t know what offense is!
LOUDER SON!!!
I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT IOWA WAS PLAYING A GAME THIS WEEK.
MORE LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT CAPSLOCK IS
YOUR COMMENT MIGHT BE PUNTER TO PEOPLE IN IOWA
EXPANDING THE PLAYOFFS WON'T DO SHIT IN THE LONG RUN
CHEESE IS NOW ONLY GOOD WHEN ACCOMPANIED BY CINCINNATI CHILI.
YOU DONT PUT CHILI ON SPAGHETTI AND YOU SURE AS SHIT DON'T PUT CINNAMON IN UT.
DAD FROM RHINEGEIST IS AMAZING
CINCINNATI "CHILI"
UTAH - TRASH
USC doesn’t replace the toilet paper roll when they use the last square. Go UTES!
I DONT HATE THE TIGAHS BUT THE CORN DOG THING WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY TO ME! FUCK FLORIDA!
TOO SOON
IT WILL BE 32F IN SALT LAKE ON FRIDAY WHEN THE GAME STARTS IN VEGAS. IS THAT COLD?... WOULDN'T KNOW
USING LOGIC AND RATIONALITY: TRAINS CRUSH WOLVERINES, WILDCATS ARE BIGGER THAN HORNY TOADS, AND TIGAHS ARE LARGER THAN BULLDOGS. MAXIMUM CHAOS THIS WEEKEND YALL.
THIS
THE ONLY FELONY I DESIRE TO COMMIT IS TO STEAL THE BOILMAKER SPECIAL.
WEBER AIN'T EVEN A STATE
WOLVERINES ARE JUST FAT FERRETS!
OREGON’S RUSH DEFENSE
HOW CAN I TRASH TALK WHEN I'M SWEATING PROFUSELY
AUBURN WITH A POND