I hate the fact that men can't do certain things without being called gay

  1. Dude i mildly like embroidery and love flowers and sometimes people act like they're waiting for me coming out of the closet

  2. I like giving men flowers. They don't get them enough, for unfathomable reasons. So far they have always been appreciated, but then, I have good taste in men. 😊

  3. Dude, I love motorcycles and my girlfriend, yet some people still think I’m gay. At some point I’m like, sure, I might emit some vibe involuntarily. Can’t have it all. But to insist that I just don’t know it yet and that one day I’ll come out is a bit much, if you ask me.

  4. Male here, I buy flowers every time I go to Costco. They are cheap, last like 3 weeks, and nice to look at. It's a plus that I can tell the wife they are for her. They make the room look happy idgaf what anyone says. Also, I like gardening, pedicures (who tf wants nasty feet), and do all the cooking and a lot of the cleaning. People need to get over "girl" or "guy" behavior. Do what makes you happy.

  5. My dad taught me how to embroider. He was so talented at it. He also taught me how to darn socks with a darning egg…you couldn’t even see where he repaired the socks.

  6. I don't do embroidery, but I love gardening. Guys don't know how to react when I tell them I only grow flowers, not vegetables.

  7. A girl once asked me if I was gay after noticing what I perceived to be a completely normal amount of throw blankets, candles and pillows in my apartment.

  8. Throw your mattress on the floor and slap an ill-fitting fitted sheet with an off-colored comforter to be paired with a DIFFERENT colored pillow case like a MAN. Freaking weirdo.

  9. You are a dream man. I’ve seen so many guy apartments that smell like trash, with old tattered bedsheets with holes and no form of organization.

  10. Women who do this just have so little to offer that they can only date manchildren who can’t run a household for themselves. She was attracted to you, and wanted you to be below her level so she could have something to offer.

  11. Yeah like at a company team event we are drinking rose’ wine. A nice, cold summer wine that happens to be pink.

  12. rose isn't even that expensive... and it's really tasty. It's just pink and i guess pink=girl color?

  13. Pro tip: if you're on mobile and want accents over your letters, hold the letter and multiple options for it will appear.

  14. Although I agree, I also think this response is only a stone’s throw away from advocating masculine stoicism. It’s not on OP to learn to ignore it, it’s on everyone else to stop doing it.

  15. La La Land is a great movie, and there is nothing wrong being a guy enjoying a romantic movie or musical. Immature people are going to be immature, try to not give a shit what they think.

  16. I actually liked la la land more than my wife did. It's just a really good movie in my opinion with great music, acting, and a fun story

  17. Well it technically doesn't but it affects me. I have no reason why but I hate they assumed something that's not true

  18. There is actually a scenario where it matters. If OP has a crush on a woman and she also has a crush on him but thinks hes gay because of stupid assumptions like this, she may decide to never ask him out even though she wants to.

  19. Yeah, I got stuff like this from family and people at school. I learned just to not be embarrassed by it, but I understand why it’d be annoying. Some people are jerks

  20. In the 2000s I used to lie and pretend I was gay just to wind up the homophobes in the video game/chat rooms I used to hang in. It was insane how much of a rise you could get out of people back then just by talking about being gay, hitting on them, etc.

  21. When people do things like this they're expressing social insecurities and want you to seek their approval What bugs them is your confidence to be yourself when they can't relate or they're taught this and it makes them express insecurity they don't question it and they go along with it to make everyone assimilate to them It's how popularity works

  22. because being gay is "effeminate" and being effeminate is degrading (hence why it's used as an insult or has a negative connotation), so basically the intersection between homophobia and misogyny

  23. Femininity shouldn’t be an insult either though. If being “effeminate” is degrading in and of itself it’s also a huge insult to women. As if having femininity (or being female) is equated with being weak. That thinking is just totally backwards in a progressive modern society. Femininity is powerful, and beautiful, in both men and women. We are getting there, it’s just a slow progress to shift old mindsets.

  24. Since turning 30 I’ve started to take better care of my skin (specifically my face). I get awful heat rash and turn into so much of an oil field that I have to worry about the US invading my forehead.

  25. There is nothing wrong with being gay, so if someone wrongly assigns that label to me I don't really care. It's the same as someone wrongly guessing my favorite color.

  26. It only bothers me if I happen to be interested in the person that thinks I'm gay. I grew up in a house full of women so am perfectly comfortable with "girl talk" and honestly find it easier to make friends with women because I was often bullied by men growing up. That doesn't mean I'm gay though and it sucks when certain people think it does.

  27. To all the men who hear this type of BS and continue to live authentically regardless of the stereotypes: thank you. YOU are the ones normalizing things like watching La La Land and liking embroidery, flowers, and traditionally “female things”, so that the next generation won’t have to deal with this garbage. Stand firm - you’re truly helping break down gender stereotypes and changing cultural norms.

  28. I’ve picked up jewellery making lately and part of me fears what others think of it, especially coming from a mostly male household. This is very encouraging

  29. And also making women hate themselves a little less… if the dominant gender (let’s admit that that’s how our society is built in a pervasive way) says feminine things are okay, maybe we won’t have to spend so much time trying to be “not like the other girls” and develop horrible self-image issues as teenagers who then have to spend our adult lives correcting the bullshit we learned.

  30. I used to work in musical theater, and let me tell you, there are plenty of straight men in the theater, and they do VERY well with the ladies. For every idiot female out there that would assume you're gay for your likes/interests, there are 5 who would be super into it.

  31. Your comment is funny to me, because this was always what I thought as a kid/teenager looking at boys doing "girly" activities like, theater, ballet, dancing etc. The boys who were into "girly" activities, for a lack of better words to describe it, were always hanging around with those pretty girls. And then there were us "football boys" who were envious looking from the outside, but still had the audacity to talk those other boys down. As a kid I never really thought twice about it, because that was just my reality, even though I wish I had the courage to join.

  32. You're saying women may want to share interests with their partner?! The women like OP mentions I'm sure will end up with dudes that treat them like garbage because that's what they think a man should be.

  33. If there's one stereotype about theatre people that's 100% true (in my own personal experience), they are dirty-minded hornbags. Most theatre people I know have slept with one or multiple cast members they worked with lmao

  34. What makes it worse is that if they were watching, I don't know, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra no one would accuse them of being gay. Ugly double standard.

  35. It is weird to hear that in this day and age. The response to stupid things people say is “Are you okay?” Try it.

  36. I went to a concert with my girlfriend (I’m a dude) years ago. Her mom came with us. I wore nail polish, because nail polish is awesome. It had no bearing on my sexuality. Her mom told her I’m gay. Me. On a date with a person of the opposite gender. Okay, lady. People are so fucking idiotic.

  37. Only comment: back in the day many gay people hid in relationships with the opposite sex. But I suppose it was in how she said it that mattered.

  38. Ppl who use gay as a insult lack any imagination or creativity. If you insult me atleast do it with style

  39. They realized you were out of their league and had to make comments to make themselves feel more comfortable about their loser status.

  40. Follow up, I hate that people thing being gay is bad and an insult. The kind of people who are insulting you op are the kind that feel this way. They are pretty awful.

  41. People have acted like this with me my whole life because of the most basic ass things like keeping good hygiene and using halfway decent products that aren't 3-in-1 concoctions. Or caring about my fashion ever so slightly so I don't look like a bum who just rolled outa bed. Or similar to your experience, enjoying movies or shows like La La Land or listening to female artist.

  42. Ironically people like to pigeon hole people because life is hard and scary and it’s easier to compartmentalize the universe in nice little orderly boxes because most people are simple yet arrogant.

  43. Those are the same girls that cry to each other about not being able to watch such films with their boyfriends. Their loss.

  44. You could just ignore them and enjoy your movie? Why does it matter if people think you're gay? They're wrong so who cares?

  45. Or not liking football. Or knowing every stat for every player. Or liking to have a nice garden. Or make your hair look nice. Or have feelings. Or be sensitive. Screw that noise. If that’s the case, I’m gay. It’s what men were raised to be like and I think it’s horsesh*t. You do you man. Be who you are.

  46. I always think, I’m glad I’m not someone that lets gender stereotypes stop me from enjoying things. Imagine gaslighting yourself into only having certain interests because of that.

  47. Patriarchy. It teaches people that men can only exist as one thing and any deviation from that thing should be ridiculed and punished. This is why we smash it. Men/Women/Thems can be/do/like whatever they want, fuck anyone whom feels otherwises.

  48. Those girls are idiots. Ignore people like that. And wtf in 2022 using gay as a negative thing?? What a miserable person one has to be to make comments like that. My (straight) husband loves that movie. My son actually worked for the production company, the (straight) producer loves musicals. Do what makes you happy.

  49. Growing old and being more comfortable in your own skins helps. I've learned within the last few years that I enjoy a good romance novel. I've enjoyed having a mix in genres from the normal scifi/fantasy that I usually read.

  50. I fucking hate that. La la land is just a beautiful film all around. Its really aggravating some people push guys away from enjoying just a normal beautiful film. They want guys to act like emotionless robots and then get upset about it.

  51. I love flowers, poetry etc, the only reason nobody is calling me gay is BC everyone know I'm always in love of some cheeks

  52. Where do you live? I feel like within my circle this was something common like 8-10 years ago but to hear it today from the same group of people who would've said it back then is unthinkable.

  53. people often choose their media or to surround themselves with personally relatable things, you may not be gay, but their perception of you because of your media has become.

  54. Whenever these things happen, simply gesture toward your feet, then they will see that you are wearing socks, and apologize for making assumptions.

  55. People need to stop ascribing sexual orientation to interests and stereotyping others. It’s childish and annoying. You shouldn’t take it to heart. They need to grow up

  56. One of the side effects of toxic masculinity; that liking things that are “feminine” is “gay” and also that being gay is bad. I’m sorry the world is like this.

  57. I like giving fashion advice because my wife has a really great sense of fashion. One day a coworker asked me if i was gay because of it and I said dude I’ve spoken to you about my wife and kids… lol

  58. One day I was talking to my stepmom and she said how she thought my step brother, her son, might be gay. Why? He bought a nice scarf and wore it often. Fun fact: he’s not gay.

  59. Absolutely! My man wears awesome flower pattern shirts and I've even given him flowers and he's loved it. He's more of a man than anyone I've ever dated. Secure with himself and treats me like a queen 🥰

  60. No shit, when I was in the Navy, I got shit from a guy because I cook. Like, I cook dinner sometimes. I just fucking can't with some of these people.

  61. Man I love me some musicals. I've tried hard to make sure my kids appreciate them. Like things because you like them. But because someone insecure in bwho they are likes them.

  62. Bro I’ve had my nails painted for the last like 6 months, still going on plenty of dates. Guess it depends on where you live but just ignore people like that

  63. what the fuck. those people sound dumb. first of all, who makes comments like that out loud about strangers minding their business? like what if you were gay, and? and secondly, what the fuck do gay people look like? soooo dim witted to assume every gay person looks like their ignorant cookie cutter version of gays.

  64. They can, you’re just letting it affect you. I sometimes hug my friends and on an airplane we rested on eachothers shoulder which was surprisingly nice. We joke about it a lot, but jt’s only gay if you make it gay.

  65. Like dude.. I dyed my hair blue, had to bleach it first, washed it with baby shampoo because I didn't want to absolutely fry it so i used something mild, and people were being so weird about it 🙄

  66. I never understood how as a man, I can do what I want, as long as everyone else approves that it is manly enough. Eff it, do what you want, blast that on full volume.

  67. I've mentioned this a few times before but I used to run a knitting club and it always made me a little sad when guys would ask super timidly if it's OK for them to join. OF COURSE IT'S OK! It's just yarn!

  68. I fucking love La La Land. I had an ex-girlfriend ask if I was gay several times because I like musicals and musical theater. Except Les Mis. Fuck that shit.

  69. God I completely understand this!!!!! Forget those butt heads and enjoy your La La land. In fact Imma watch that tonight just despite those people.

  70. Fuck 'em. It's their problem if it hurts their feelings. I sit with my legs crossed all the way all day long. And order the fruitiest drinks I can. I get the pleasure of being comfortable and enjoying something that doesn't taste like tainted bread juice, and they get to go home grumbling to their miserable SO's 🤷‍♂️

  71. I had a roommate in a townhouse when we went to college, we went and bought a vacuum and the cashier said we made a cute couple.

  72. I enjoy a manicure and pedicure, musicals as well, stuffed animals, and j cry a shit ton. There’s no right way to be a man or any sexuality

  73. OP, you smell like the solid hairy green loogie a sick cat spent 5 solid minutes hackin’ up, bubbling with a gaseous stench that could only come from gnawing on bloody corpses of maggot-infested gerbils.

  74. Let people think you’re gay, who gives a fuck? Let’s say you were gay and they’re laughing at you for watching a movie; in both scenarios they’re assholes, so their opinion means nothing

  75. I met my high school friends after a year and a half and I’d gotten two simple earlobe piercings in that time. Even that prompted “so, are you gay now?” Comments.

  76. I hadn't heard anything like this until I moved back to Oklahoma. Then there was all this talk about masculinity and not looking manly.

  77. Liking men is considered feminine.. men and boys are mocked all the time for being woman-like. Time to start tearing down that kind of bullshit. Start noticing when men are mocked for being “like women” and say something.

  78. Can’t order anything other than a beer or hard bar on ice without being looked at funny. Oh it’s for my wife. Like bro you can have a daiquiri it’s fine.

  79. I understand that it's important what people think of you but you have to look at it in a completely different way. Why is it upsetting they thought you were gay? Ask yourself that question over and over until you understand that it's not in any way offending because if it is...that's on you.

  80. As you get older you start to care less and less about what other people think. It's incredibly freeing. Personally, when I let go of what is supposed to masculine and what is supposed to be feminine and just started enjoying whatever I want I found I was much less stressed and my depression significantly was reduced.

  81. I like having sex with other men. That does NOT make me gay. Just because I really can't stand the sight of a female body and that I have sex with other men REGULARLY does not make me a gay man. Anyway, I haven't seen La La Land. Is it good?

  82. I don't even have to do anything to be called gay. Just the fact that I don't have a gf alone makes my family and friends talk about me being gay behind my back lmao

  83. When I was young, it was pretty normal for guys to call other guys gay as a tease. But it was never meant to suggest that the guy liked sex with other men. Instead it was meant to suggest that the person was considered to be acting feminine, or less than masculine.

  84. shoulda told them "well that's homophobic for assuming only gay persons like this movie." people need to stop living in boxes.

  85. Ikr bro I saw a guy sucking another dude’s dick at the club the other day and my friend went “hey that’s gay” and I had to be like “shut up Stephanie we don’t know if he said no homo”

  86. I hate the fact that there are guys who get upset about being called gay. Who cares! It's not like someone saying that means there will be a dick up your ass.

  87. Literally who cares? Me personally, when I see a dude go out of their way to NOT look gay, I assume they like shit in their ass hardcore. Men can enjoy anything they want. My guy-friend loves candles and I think its adorable and awesome.

  88. Well, to be fair, you can be straight and like stuff in your ass hardcore as well. Work at a hospital for a bit! :)

  89. Screw those people who are probably shit at parties, you do you and don't be ashamed about it not one teensy bit. This is coming from a man who will JoJo pose in public whenever he has a good day. 😑

  90. You should hate the fact that you’ve allowed our culture to influence you to the point that being called gay makes you uncomfortable. Douche bags gonna douche man. You, do you, and take pride in the courage it takes to unapologetically be yourself.

  91. It's really funny, because I often find that these same people argue that no activity or preference is inherently gendered. They'll say that men can like pink and ponies and princesses and paint their nails and wear dresses and that's totally cool. But then as soon as a man actually does those things they assume the man is gay or trans because their brains can't comprehend that a cishet male might just like stereotypically "girly" things. There HAS to be a reason behind it and if you tell them you're not gay or trans they don't believe you and assume that you're just not ready to come out of the closet yet.

  92. Men have spent centuries looking down on 'girly things', it sucks but it only makes sense that men are also looked down on/now seen as 'girly' for doing them. 🤷

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