Anybody here deal with a wife who shuts down every idea?

  1. It sounds like your relationship needs some work. You'd rather do some marriage counseling, instead of trying to convince her. Of course it's scary, but you need to give each other room for failure, otherwise you stop growing.

  2. similar story to this, gf (now wife) initially supportive of the business, 3 years in wasn't making much (less than min wage) and gf at that time would tell me to just go get a real job. Year 3-5 finally starting to get some traction and now she's ok with it. Moral of the story is just do it and if you're successful all will be forgiven.

  3. $50k net/mnth?? Or gross. Either way, congrats on going after it and building it into something great. OP I’ve started my own business and was fortunate enough to have a super soportive partner. How is she in other aspects of your relationship? Does she encourage you to do you hobbies, take care of your self or is she just negative all the time? If yes, no matter how great your idea is, she may just not encourage.. Best of luck, and send it!!

  4. My husband is the most supportive person in my life. He’s also the most honest. Is your wife giving you constructive feedback or just tearing you down?

  5. More so just being negative . The feedback isn’t constructive it’s just a bunch of what if scenarios.

  6. Theres a 0% chance I would be as far as I am without my wife's support. She isn't a risk taker but she fully believes in me and supports me.

  7. Without the details, it's hard to know who's actually right. This subreddit is obviously going to be biased for you to go for it, so if you're looking for encouragement, you'll probably find it. Just keep in mind that this is quite meaningless if you haven't shared what it is you actually plan to do.

  8. Had this issue with my wife. Her Dad was a failed entrepreneur so she projected his failings onto me.

  9. I own a business, I have a husband and four kids. It's a family business or I wouldn't see my family, ever. Especially in the spring, summer and fall. (we're 3rd generation beekeeper's and I'm evolving into a full blown farmer so harvest is so chaotic, we opted to get our kids involved.)

  10. My wife shoots down a lot of my ideas, partly because they're half baked and partly because they're a dime a dozen, I think, but I see it like this:

  11. Best thing to do is validate your idea by bootstrapping the first steps, without going out of pocket. This way you'll gain self confidence and have some "proof" before presenting the idea to your wife.

  12. OP remember to set your owm boundaries, even in marriage. If you feel that it's the right call for YOU, then tell her that it is your career and your decision, but that it hurts that she doesn't trust or believe in you.

  13. Whew this is rough! Maybe putting up the walls is necessary sometimes but, man it sure should be a last resort in a marriage, especially when it’s for reasons like pursuing the things you want vs what’s best for the both of you.

  14. Sounds like your wife is risk averse. The numbers for small business success aren't in your favor either. 18.4% of private sector businesses in the U.S. fail within the first year. After five years, 49.7% have faltered, while after 10 years, 65.5% of businesses have failed.

  15. I also had a wife which wanted me to have a 9 to 5 job. You need to have a very candid conversation with her or several. She needs to understand where you are coming from and you need to address her fears. If she is still totally against it there might be a bigger problem i.e. your marriage might have issues.

  16. As a matter of fact, she’s probably right. At least statistically. This is something you have to digest too. The odds are against you but you must have a plan to face all the hurdles. If you can’t convince you wife, let alone a customer. Work on your plan and make it bulletproof (and watch it dissolving facing real biz problems).

  17. You sound like you have the desire but do you feel like you have the ability to execute? Are you willing to spend savings to make it happen? Is she right about you not knowing much about the business and having a weak work ethic? You seem to doubt yourself as well.

  18. Someone who is stonewalling is usually protecting something. It sounds like she is transforming her underlying fear of (failure/waste/shame/lack of stability) into undue criticism. Go to the root issue. Try to figure out what she’s actually scared of and you’ll be much more successful

  19. She is likely correct and you are likely to fail. Entrepreneurs like to live with rose coloured glasses on. We want to get into businesses because either we’re good at solving these problems or we’re too stupid or ignorant to recognize them.

  20. She’s probably scared of the uncertainty. Hedge the uncertainty, start small, fail small. If you can overcome that then you can grow it together.

  21. Not gonna comment on the relationship dynamic but most people are justifiably risk-averse. As a founder, I think it’s helpful to realize that not everyone is gonna “get it” and may not be helpful to talk/brainstorm with, even if they are your partner or family.

  22. I have a very similar situation myself, and I've honestly just come to terms that my wife is simply careful and protective. I would like to start something new, but she is content with what we have and has no desire for "ground up". It's been a few fights over the years. Long and short of it, if you have the capital and it's not going to hurt your marriage then pull the trigger. Odds are she will support you and offer input alog the way. My wife and I have just come to an understanding now about it; but now her persistence has paid off as I am hesitant to execute any ideas.

  23. People asking and giving relationship advice has to be one of the most cringe things in the entirety of social media (well that may be an overstatement, but still)

  24. What type of business are you trying to start? Do you have experience in said business/industry? What are the risks? Have you made a 3 year business plan that clearly maps out all costs, goals, and a pathway to profitability? What is the return on investment in the short term and long term?

  25. Ok. I’m your wife, well, your hypothetical wife. In less than 2 paragraphs I want you to give me an elevator pitch, target market (be specific), how you’ll reach your market (funds? Platform? Expected customers to purchase / sign up) and 3 year projections. I’ll tell you if she is right…

  26. Oh you can also add in how much burden i (as hypothetical wife) will have to take on because of your new founded endeavor. Bills? Kids? Chores? Being alone more? Lay it all on me and be honest…

  27. It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. If you succeed, then she won’t shut you out no more. But do don’t rub it in her face if you do. If you fail, she will call you out on it and you’re going to overcome it and move to the next project. Failure is learning!

  28. You should always prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Your wife could very well be right. Any type of criticism is constructive. Thin skin is the enemy. Not knowing much about the business and a perceived lack of work ethic from those around you? Doesnt sound promising. $5k isnt much to lose, but any profitable business thats barrier to entry is $5k, not knowing much about said business and a questionable work ethic, is too good to be true. I would listen to what shes telling you and fix it before doing anything. Thats someone who stands to directly benefit from your success telling u those things, not some redditor. She might know you better than you do.

  29. Ignore that bitch. If she can’t see and support the idea that you are trying to make a better future for you both, then she dosent need to be a part of that future.

  30. Spouses tend to form echo chambers. Their opinions are mostly based on what the marriage has been through. Best thing to do would be to consult your peers and most importantly someone in a business similar to what you are trying to start up. You will obviously need your spouse's support in everything in life but running a business needs more than that.

  31. This is super simple.. your wife is doing you a favor. What you're not getting is very simple, you've not sold her on the idea, which means you'll never sell anyone else either. If you don't make sales you will fail. If you sell her on the idea then you can sell anyone, she wants you to be successful which makes her the hardest sale you'll ever make.

  32. This is more of a personal relationship issue rather than just a spousal issue. Being able to interact in a positive manner with each other, in a logical, rational approach to any idea, whether it be starting a business, raising children, where to go on vacation, or what to eat for dinner, can be incredibly arduous without both of you having the learned ability to communicate effectively. Emotions always get in the way, and the younger you are, the less life experience you have had, and emotions end up filling in the blanks. There is a reason she is shutting down every idea, and it most likely has nothing to do with the idea. If you both want to continue the relationship, then you would do better learning how to communicate with each other effectively rather than pointing fingers and claiming your wife is shutting down a particular idea. And just any therapist may not be the best answer, else you will find yourself regurgitating the problems with little to no solutions. Perhaps a relationship coach, communications expert, or just pursuing educating yourselves on how to recognize your own feelings so you can communicate better with your partner. Just remember, anyone can be nice when the situation is pleasant. It's when you discuss the difficult topics and become uncomfortable in the conversation that reveal your character not only to each other but to yourselves as well. Good luck.

  33. You need to fix your relationship before you start any sort of business. Starting a business is not going to fix the relationship and things are wildly out of balance on that side of the situation.

  34. Is half the $5K your wife's money, too? If so, she has every right as an investor to ask the hard questions (e.g., What do you know about that business? How hard are you going to work at it?) And, if you cannot answer these questions to your and her satisfaction, are you really ready to jump into this venture? Investors want to see plans, potential for success, a savvy leader who understands the risks, etc.

  35. No the $5k is from me. I was saving for a car but figured im not to interested in buying a depreciating asset. Hard work is all I have - my drive to escape the 9-5 outweighs my desire to just simply sit at home. Moreover she knows my hobbies are going to take a hit so she wants to make sure im ready to give it up.

  36. Sounds like you're just going to have to do it without your wife's blessings. Don't worry, as soon as you have some success she will tell everyone how it was her idea to begin with 😆

  37. The rule is simple; when you can cover 1/3 of your monthly expenses, running your side business/business idea - then you pull the plug on the 9to5 and go all in. Chances are that within a couple of months you’re covering all of your expenses and you’re good to go 🙂 Hope you manage 🚀

  38. Quit talking to her about business ideas and execute them on your own terms. Nobody else will ever see the same vision you have.

  39. Oh man I’d be replacing the fuck outta my wife if she didn’t support ANY of my ideas. I can’t imagine the resentment that would build up. I’d never want to talk to her about anything.

  40. It could also be that OP is simply not prepared for this and his wife is trying to save him from himself. Without more information it's impossible to know.

  41. Granted not a wife, but definitely parents when I first started. To the point where they’d cut off some financial support, raised rent when I still lived with them, anything to prevent me from doing it.

  42. Sorry for what you are going through. It's a shame. 21 years ago I had a very unsupportive wife (now ex-wife) and was just as difficult as your wife. I'm willing to bet that you have problems with her in other parts of your relationship but that's a different subreddit.

  43. You will find that mostly everybody around you will bring you down and say you’re this, you’re that, you’re crazy, you’re stupid, shouldn’t you be careful? Aren’t you better off playing it safe??

  44. Perhaps start your business as a side hustle instead. It's possible that she is worried about the long term financial stability...especially if you have other debt or children. If you don't have the support of your wife, you probably shouldn't start a business....don't forget she is already your business partner in life so your decisions should be mutual.

  45. Everyone's a crab in this bucket. Overcome her objections sales 101. Not saying ignore but if you can steer it towards constructive criticism conversation she could be a nice Watson.

  46. I'd set expectations of an 80% chance that you will fail and the $5k will be gone - but the 20% chance it does work has a 100x payout (or whatever the number you think it is).

  47. Your wife wants security you need to prove to her that there will be. I’d bet she’s scared of the repercussions. You need to sit down and have a true talk about it if she is still against maybe a counselor. At last resort divorce I guess

  48. How was this idea presented?? Was there some form of research in paper that you presented like in terms of cost, plans and potential profitability? I'm asking because it could the way the idea was being sold was making it hard for your wife to understand how it will be profitable.

  49. Is this related to the loss of healthcare/medical or other types of insurance? That can be incredibily tense for some people. Find a solution for the replacement of those items.

  50. This is actually in the wedding sector. My idea is this: do backdrops for weddings that target my specific culture. The cost for equipment will cost around $3k. I’d also be renting storage so that’s about $100-$150 per month. Advertising , website, social media, I’d be willing to put $600 into that. Starting the llc will have its own upfront cost.

  51. If she’s not on your side at all, that’s really tough. I would say speak to her about this and how it hurts you. But if she’s not even rooting you on, that’s really telling. It’s often her own worry and nerves. Sadly that can get In our way as we are trying to grow

  52. Sometimes you just have to keep those things to yourself and go ahead and do it I understand people that are close to you may have some misgivings but you know yourself best and you’re the person that’s going to put the work in if you believe you can do it then you just need to go ahead make sure you’ve done all your research like you said and get on with it sometimes us telling people that we know are going to shoot us down is an undercover way of us not really believing in ourselves and having them reinforce it you want it you do it

  53. My wife was similar until I had some successes that made our life more comfortable and now she trusts my judgement.

  54. Not exactly the same but my parents have always been extremely negative about business ideas. And I'm not talking about the whole "I'm going to make $20M a month!" nonsense. (I now am a successful painting contractor). I think it's just a really common fear-based mindset.

  55. From my vantage this is much more a relationship issue than a business issue. I think there is some drilling down and understanding what are the root's of her concern.

  56. I'm worried about the work ethic comment. How much of this is criticizing the plan, and how much is criticizing you?

  57. Couple scenarios here: she’s either wrong or she’s right. Tbh based on this small tidbit I doubt she knows what the fuck is necessary to open a business though (doesn’t sound like you do either, but you want to learn and that’s the most important trait honestly). Regardless you shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in your ability to become who you want to be and I’m sorry someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally isn’t providing you with the emotional support you need. Feel free to message me and many other people from this thread if you’d like constructive criticism that will help you learn more about what you don’t know so that you can fill those weak spots. You can do it though OP, other founders aren’t special, myself included, just takes times and a willingness to learn/fail.

  58. I started a business with my wife. She’s similar in the sense that she shuts down most of my ideas as well. it’s very difficult to work with your spouse let alone get them to support you with a business idea. Husband and wife are a team but sometimes you have to do what’s best for yourself so you don’t carry that resentment in a situation like this. Keep the conversation open and stress what you need from your wife to succeed.

  59. Aye man, I’m a wife and a business owner. My husband is not, he just does Army and that’s it. DO IT. You hear me? When it works out, you know what she’ll say? “I knew you could do it” when the $$$ starts coming in “wow, how can I join you?” You hear what I’m saying? …

  60. Not to be mean or anything, but she’s probably seen a pattern. Of course, this is just an assumption but only you can truly answer this question. Does your word mean anything or do you not follow through? If not, do what you say even if you think the task is insignificant. Build a case as to why your endeavor is a good one and lastly, ask for her support on this.

  61. I say go for it but set up a separate bank account so that your profits go there instead of a shared account.

  62. It's my husband, but I am in a similar boat. In our case, I have been the primary breadwinner for the entire duration of our marriage, so I understand his insecurity. It's exhausting though.

  63. Have you tried to understand why she objects? May be she fears of something that happened in the past might just recur? Or just wouldn't stand to see her sweetheart fail miserably?

  64. Don't do it. I went against her will and started my company and it causes so much drama with every issue I deal with resulting in an "I TOLD YOU!" That cuts through me like a sharp knife. Feel like swiss cheese at this point but too far in to give up now.

  65. My ex was like that. Some people just like stability and are scared of the future. She probably doesn’t mean to demean your ideas intentionally. She just wants to guarantee her “survival”.

  66. Get divorced. Congrats when it happens. Sorry, I was in a a marriage and no matter what I did finding success she was never happy. I am so grateful to have seen that side of her. A good girl should always support unless you have a track record of failure

  67. You don't need a website yet or an LLC. The wedding business is only Spring through fall. Your idea has potential. how can you start with one backdrop to reduce costs? Next how can you advertise for free? Just wedding photographers for instance, join FB groups that are related to our city and others that are for our city weddings. Then post examples of how a wedding looks with your cultural styling. That's free. I see people get inquiries from that and then customers. Good luck.

  68. If the $5k is all yours, then it's odd that she would be so negative towards you. She's not losing anything and by being negative doesn't help her gain anything either, so why she decides on negativity should help you determine if you'll share any part of your business status with her.

  69. Sounds like my narcissist mom 😂 you can’t please Everyone and she sounds like she likes settling and not taking risks to achieve financial freedom.

  70. Subjective feedback is her fears manifesting. Objective feedback is worth listening to and identifying the risk and mitigating or neutralizing it. Decide what column the feedback is going to be filed under and act accordingly.

  71. I think it boils down to this; Sure diving into an entrepreneurial lifestyle has its risks. I see a lot of people in this thread describing a fair and valid amount of them. What people tend to forget is that NOT diving into an entrepreneurial lifestyle or building your own business has its risks as well! For example, if you’re not satisfied living your current lifestyle (maybe your 9-5 doesn’t give youthe pride and joy you need, or you can’t use your skills to their full potential), do you really want to continue living like that, possibly start hating yourself, become resentful and wonder “what if” when you’re old and look backon your life? If this applies to you, that is a serious risk and could be way worse than the risks accompanied by starting your own business.

  72. I have a simple situation with my dad. I have discussed my several business ideas with him in the past. Although he is an entrepreneur himself he criticised every one of my ideas by constantly looking for reasons why it wouldn’t work. I stopped listening to him and few months ago started my own thing without even telling him. Results are speaking for themselves.

  73. Your wife sounds like my sister: a dreamcrusher. I learned a long time ago to stop telling her anything unless I want her to shit all over it and find literally anything wrong and throw out ‘what if this or that happens’ to which I say ‘but what if it doesnt’. She does the same thing to her own husband. He has the skills, resources, and ability to start his own concrete company but has instead been a wage-slave making his boss rich for the last 25 years. She jokes about ‘everyone says im a realist lol’. No, youre an asshole who cant stand seeing others close to you succeed/do better than you. My husband and I have been nothing but supportive of each others ideas. Hes in the process of starting two companies currently and ive helped wherever possible. If it doesnt work out, try something else. Theres a fine line between being concerned/prepared and just being a dick.

  74. If you try, and fail, she wins. If you try, and succeed, she wins. If you leave her, try and start a business and fail, you win. If you leave her and start a successful business, you win.

  75. Listen….your wife is just a person that you’ve happened to know in your lifetime, her title does not entitle her to dissuade you from succeeding in whatever you choose to do in life…forge ahead and win. Do not sit idle listening to the rants of someone who obviously doesn’t want growth in their life.

  76. I hate reading self help books because a lot of the time you just have to sit still and quiet with yourself for five minutes and usually get all the answers.

  77. 1.- divorce 2.- spend the time what you used to spend with your partner for your business 3.- fail sometimes, win sometimes and learn 4.- be successful

  78. How bout you just do as you please, and know that she will complain about it later. Do what most men do, “uh huh, yep, crazy right?” And move on with your life. When she’s ready she will pack her own shit, hopefully lol

  79. The best you can do in this situation is really don’t talk about this with her or have a serious conversation about not mixing your marriage with your investments or business decisions, you can be a 100% visionary person and she doesn’t have to share that but at least respect your decisions. Most of the people that live this situation end up getting divorced, marriage is not about putting each others dreams down, if you can handle this together, you’re a rockstar 😄

  80. Are you sure it isn’t your own insecurities making it feel like her genuine questions are really attacks? I find myself doing that. I’ve found that it’s okay to just say “I didn’t think about that” or “I don’t know” or even “well I can’t be prepared for absolutely everything, and I have to start somewhere.” I’ve discovered this way that her questions are not really negative attacks, but rather just how she expresses herself.

  81. I don’t think it’s easy to start a business while having a wife, especially a non supportive one, I read in the other comments that she isnt making any constructive critics about your ideas, maybe you need to set boundaries for her and do what you believe works best, if she doesn’t like the way the business work then it’s unfortunate for her I think.

  82. Sometimes the people around you know you better than yourself… do you hold your end of a deal or can you be counted on when you say you’re going to do something? Do you ignore small tasks or lose interest in things quickly? If so, perhaps what’s she really telling you is you’re wasting your time and money on a hobby… that being said, sometimes you just have to do and find out the hard way if you’ll be successful. Also keep in mind that your wife probably is afraid you’ll spend more time working on your new business idea and have less time to spend with her. Sometimes that’s not the case… or maybe it is when spouses fully support and get their own time away from us…🤔

  83. I was in a similar situation. I’ve simply stopped sharing the ideas with her. I’ve now launched the concept without her input and I’m happy growing the business. Not everything needs to be shared with your partner, certain things are private and personal.

  84. You have one life on this earth OP. If you dont do it, you will most likely regret that you didnt try. If it falls, its not the end of the world. Like q famous slogan, just do it!

  85. Perhaps give her a timeline by which you will either have succeeded or be willing to quit. Carve out dedicated time for family and show how you will make it work. When she tells you all her negative ‘what if’s’ just tell her -you can always make more money, but if you don’t at least try to go after your dreams you will always wonder ‘what if it did worked out?’ It’s gonna sound a little harsh but if she still gives you pushback tell her your not asking for her permission or even her support. Your just asking for her to have a little faith in you, to believe that you are capable and that you can be successful. If she can’t at least do that, I’m sorry to say I think you have bigger problems than this. Best of luck 🤞

  86. My buddy used to refer to his wife as "the dream killer", because he always had ideas, and she shot them down. Eventually he just went for it anyway, failed, lost his house, went bankrupt, and the dream killer left him. I'm not really sure what the moral of that story is.

  87. Maybe she’s right. Sometimes we aren’t as self aware as we think we are. Maybe you two can come up with an idea together that makes more sense. Identify your strengths and weaknesses together to help you get started.

  88. Listen man, when I started my company, my boss said I don’t have what it takes and I’m not ready yet. I literally LOLD in my head and surpassed him this year. The other company that fired me for not being perfect I put them out of business last year.

  89. In the end, let it be like water off a ducks back. She's either down for the adventure, or she's hopping off and taking her own path. Just don't forget about your plans and don't let her make you give up on them.

  90. It certainly must be difficult to have someone tear down your vision and the struggle of taking the hits to yourself esteem and confidence.

  91. Read the book “Mom Test”. It’s a good way to ask questions, so not that not everyone agrees or disagrees with you. It explains how to ask the right questions

  92. What is causing this opinion from her? Perhaps she grew up with a dreamer father that constantly gambled her families well-being and she has issues with it. Or maybe the opposite, she comes from a straight laced family that doesn’t appreciate entrepreneurial endeavours.

  93. I would never tell any new plans to my SO, because the way she thinks means that everything has to be a fully formulated plan. I totally disagree with that way of thinking, and I don't think like that.

  94. Sounds like she is the problem. Maybe just don’t include her. I wouldn’t want to do it that way but sometimes you have to do what’s best for you in the long run.

  95. Put her doubts aside for a second - if you're full of self doubt like that, maybe you SHOULD reconsider. I can't say I've met many successful entrepreneurs that constantly doubt themselves.

  96. Bro, I hate to say it...but after looking at your profile history I think you're the problem. You seem to be the toxic one in your marriage and your wife may have justifiable concerns that you won't succeed as an entrepreneur because you don't have the soft skills necessary (networking, etc)

  97. Sounds very similar to my situation. My wife doesn't understand the idea of investing in a business and so shoots down every idea I have.

  98. If you can afford to lose the money just do it. If you succeed it’s a win, and if you fail you can just begin to think about another business idea.

  99. My wife makes me put a business strategy together and present to her as if I was presenting to executive leadership for buying and capital. It sucks, but keeps me honest and our finances in check!

  100. Going through the history of your posts, I’m wondering whether you’re ready for the stress of owning your business and risks that come with it. My honest opinion, try it, but don’t blame it on anyone if you’re not successful. Also a bad habit to blame a partner in everything that’s going wrong, which is my assumption of course. Sometimes you just need to really look in the mirror and not be afraid to admit the fact that you are the primary reason of the situation in which you’re in right now

  101. You need to design the business in your mind before you create it. Build a cash flow chart to intricately understand the finances

  102. Sounds like you aren’t selling her with the fact’s and possible gains. If she just isn’t willing to work with you it’s easier to find a new wife that will than it is to build a successful business. Dump the broad and chase your dreams. Be sure to put your assets in the business with a trusted partner to protect you through the divorce process.

  103. Get someone to run the numbers for good/better /best results. Then make one that shows bad/worse/ooh fuck we’re in trouble. Then explain the data.

  104. Just do it. Don’t tell her. And if she asks, you give it to her lightly. 5K is a rather small investment, just do it. If you lose it, tell her it’s just 2K. And when you got more money, try something again.

  105. First she needs to be on your side and support the idea of you doing a business. Then for the details, do you research ideas or just jump at the first thing that sounds interesting? If you’re set on something, research it. Ups downs. Market share. Scalability. Then explain to her. As long as she is supportive of you doing a business, then you can work out the details after

  106. I've been living with a girlfriend, who was too accustomed to my cushy job and every time I talked about leaving country or starting a business... she went off shooting everything down.

  107. I literally just finished reading the book “that will never work” it’s about the founding of Netflix. One of my favorite quotes “nobody knows anything” You do you. There’s always going to be someone to tell you your idea isn’t good.

  108. Your wife shutting you down, shouldn't be taken as a absolute answer. You could be the crazy cofounder being shut down by the more conservative cofounder.

  109. Mate, my wife and I have 3 businesses. It was always family who shot down our ideas. Ignore them and go for it. This just comes with the territory. Unfortunately it’s your wife in your case, but just go for it anyway. It may work or fail, but that’s the nature of the game.

  110. A husband. At some point I knew I just had to make decisions. He gets bristly. And eventually gets over it. It’s pretty unpractical. But I married him. I didn’t hire him.

  111. One of the hardest things about entrepeneutship is your mentality, everyone is dreaming about how much they can earn and even keep going when everything is going well, the real question here is, are you ready to keep fighting when you aren't getting customers or when something fails caise sooner or later these are some problem you are gonna face it.

  112. I have experienced this myself. Took me years to find out that it is not the fact that she was shutting down all ideas and also throwing a wobbler when any change in the business was suggested. The real reason was that she does not adapt to change well. Goes back to fight, flight, freeze personality.

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