Son's Injury

  1. With respect, you have a custody agreement. The accident happened outside of your scheduled custody. Therefore, the safety of your child was up to his father, not you, at the time of injury. A burn can be treated in the emergency room. Paramedics are trained to administer first aid. Why did your ex, with an hour before your scheduled pick up, not take your injured child for medical attention? Clearly the burn was bad enough for 10 days of prescription medication and bandaging. It is neglect on your ex's part and it NEEDS to be reported to CPS per your lawyer's advice. Yes, CPS is scary, but it would be even scarier to leave your children with someone who does not supervise them. God forbid he takes them to a pool and doesn't notice your children have drowned. God forbid he takes them to a park and someone sees your children unsupervised and takes them. There is legitimate cause for concern BEYOND this incident and you need to be an advocate for your children.

  2. My son had a minor burn from a cooking mishap (I really shouldn’t have let him try and help me make grilled cheese at 2 it was my fault) but I didn’t take him to the emergency room cause it didn’t look that bad. I called the nurse line and they scheduled a visit with our pediatrician. I kept bugging the office sending them pictures to make sure it was healing properly. The point is not every burn needs an emergency room visit some can be treated at home. Maybe dad thought it was minor and could be treated at home. He should have told the mom though. I burn myself fairly often while cooking and baking maybe one or twice a year. I don’t go to the hospital for any of them.

  3. I echo everyone else song (*along) with the lawyer. Call CPS. It NEEDS to be documented. I do not live in this situation so I don’t have first hand experience but follow the advice of all the professionals thus far. Doctor said lawyer. Lawyer said CPS. Keep going like that until you see results. And at the very least this will al be documented but EVERY entity possible when’s one thing inevitably happens again. You can do this mama! Your boys need you to be their voice even if it’s hard you can do it!!!

  4. Your child was returned to you with a severe burn and the dad hadn’t gotten medical care and won’t tell you what happened? I’d be dialing the CPS hotline, and I’m surprised the doctor didn’t, as a mandated reporter. If you are worried about retaliation, call the doctor and ASK them to report it. Or ask a friend to report it.

  5. She told me to call my lawyer instead. She said that because I brought him in for treatment, and because accidents happen, that if she called CPS, it would be on both of us. But because I sought the appropriate treatment, I hadn't done anything wrong and therefore she wouldn't want to call.

  6. If he’d done a single thing about the injury other than lie about it/dodge it, then I’d be a bit more on the “accidents happen” train. He should’ve called you when it happened otw to seek treatment, and owned up to his mistake (bc shit happens!!!). Instead he’s aware this happened solely due to his negligence and is trying to rugsweep it. Don’t let him!!! Call CPS now, before the next visit he leaves them unsupervised by a lake or a busy street or in a mall full of creeps.

  7. I felt the same way. Accidents really do happen. So either he is playing dumb, or he really doesn't know how it happened because he wasn't watching. My guess based on history is that it's the latter.

  8. Honestly, I'm not ok. My ex is a bully and this is one of many issues. He had me in and out of court for two years and the marriage was traumatic. He's a decent father on paper and whenever anyone is looking or taking a photo. He's a fun Dad too. But he is also a narcissist who thinks he can do no wrong. There is so much that has gone on, it would take forever to write out. But this concerns me. The lawyer recommended either going back for an amendment, or contacting CPS. The latter also scares me.

  9. Please report it to CPS, even if it goes nowhere, it'll be officially documented. And make sure you try to get the father's responses or version of events on paper aka through text. Not sure what your recording laws are in your state. You need to have something documented that you tried to find out what happened and father was uncooperative when your 2 yo needed medical care.

  10. Burns happen, accidents happen, poor judgement happens. We’re all human. But The lying and deflecting is dangerous and concerning. I know a lot of time the mom is the one taking the kids to the dr appointments but in a situation like this he should have taken him and called you to tell you, or called you and asked you to take him. I couldn’t foresee any mom saying no. (What if it was something worse? Why should you believe he would take him them?) He medically neglected as well as physically neglected (leaving him by an open fire unsupervised) your son. As others have said, I would call CPS or have a family member or friend call. Shit I’ll even call if you want. Nothing may come of it but it needs needs needs to be documented.

  11. You call CPS or whatever to get it seen to pronto: if he can’t tell the truth then he can tell the authorities the truth

  12. Personally I would call CPS and let them know what happened and then move towards supervised visits. If he was fully transparent about what happened and had brought the kiddo in I wouldn’t be nearly as concerned

  13. That is just so scary and brainlessly irresponsible. What if your son fell in?!?! Who in their right mind leaves a toddler alone in front of a fire. I’m hesitant to even have a fire and be outside w my young kids. & the fact that he won’t be honest w you- how can you trust him? Idc if ppl say I’m over reacting but I’d be calling my lawyer. EDIT: I want to add that if you took pictures, the time you took them is on your phone and can be lined up with when your son was dropped off to you by his dad.

  14. I’m a nurse and a mother that has been coparenting for 12 years. It isn’t easy. I do have to say that this situation is a wake up call. Listen to your gut. You have this documented with the physician and the nurse should have actually reported this situation to CPS. They can be the buffer by making contact with agency without putting you in the position of having to make the call. That is protocol as a nurse to make these calls in such situations. You are this child’s voice and you must advocate for them! You will never regret protecting your child!

  15. If you don't already have one, I would get on one of the court approved apps for co-parent communication and carefully document everything, without accusations. " Hey Bob, I'm letting you know I took little to me to the pediatrician who said XYZ about the burn and gave us this prescription that needs to be put on however many times a day. I was not able to tell the doctor how the burn occurred, or when it happened. Is that information that you're willing to give me at this time? I know there was a bonfire in your backyard on whatever day, was this the source of his injury?"

  16. I would call CPS and get a lawyer. If this is how he parentsy he shouldnt have ANY custody (unsupervolised). If he cant parent the kid, he cant coparent. Your kids safety comes first and if he doesnt do bare minimum of keeping him safe, he shouldnt be having him over. And he needs to pay for what happened.

  17. You think you have a lot of years coparenting but if you don’t report this to Children & Youth Services you may not have that many not have even a year. When the worst case senerio happens you need a paper trail of proof not only with your Dr but law enforcement. They are your children don’t try to play nice in the sandbox with the monster himself. CYA and protect those children bc it’s obvious he won’t.

  18. My son suffered a 2nd degree burn right in front of me from touching the hot lid of the solo fire pit we had just made s’mores on. I have 3 children and all were outside at the time. We ended up at the ER and a burn center and no one even mentioned calling CPS or questioned my parenting, etc. Not saying you shouldn’t call CPS but it is also possible it was a supervised accident. Which would make me nervous as a parent but even children of good parents have accidents. CPS would likely not do anything especially if he tells them (true or not) that the child was supervised when it happened.

  19. The problem is that it happened an hour before pick up. An hour without any medical attention. Edit to add: he did not tell her that the child was injured. She didnt notice until she took him up for a bath, whcih who knows how long after that was, and then being the good mom she is took her kid to get help. So, supervised or not, he did not seek medical attention for his injured toddler. You did. Which is why CPS was not called. It has nothing to do with supervised or not, which still sucks. It's the neglect presented when a parent does not take the child to be looked at.

  20. While what your saying is totally fair, the Dad is being evasive about what happened and that’s why there’s cause for concern. If he’d have just said he ran and touched the fire then fair enough, it’s an accident. He also didn’t seek medical attention. That’s neglect.

  21. So everyone realizes calling CPS to document an injury isn't normal co-parenting, right? Like obviously accidents happen and we might make different calls on whether or not medical care is needed. Especially something like a burn that can develop as time goes on.

  22. A burn on a toddler’s hand would probably trigger me to report. That’s a very common place for abuse. Also, the report of uncooperative father is enough alone.

  23. You can anonymously report to CPS. I’m usually very anti CPS but this situation could be deadly. Fire and Water are two things I don’t play about with kids. If he doesn’t watch a two year old near fire he won’t watch at all and that can be deadly. I’m not trying to scare you I just don’t want you to regret not calling later. I get accidents happen and if he had taken him to the hospital or even talked to you about it I’d feel differently but him getting mad and being secretive makes me wonder exactly what happened. Your ex sounds like mine and he always lost patience with our then toddler, and this is why I left. I was always worried he would lose his temper and hurt them

  24. I don't want to defend dad, but my one year old sustained a nasty second degree burn without anyone noticing. We only guess he touched the wood burning stove at his grandparents, but he wasn't left alone with it and didn't make a fuss at any stage. Only found the burn when we got home and had to take him to the doctor. It is possible that dad was telling the truth about not knowing anything about it if it happened at an open fire right before coming home - depends how reliable a narrator big brother is, I guess. And how dad has been other times.

  25. I have a toddler too and I am never never ok with leaving her alone with my husband. Some guys are taking care of babies better than moms but not my husband. My husband gets distracted and forgets about our toddler easily, he loves her but still I don’t feel ok leaving her alone with him. If that happened to us, I would burned his house down! Who the hell is he not telling me what happened to the child? And you spoke calmly to him becYse he gets mad? No no no I would make him cry. Everyday we read news about kids being abused by adult including their own parents. I would call the police or whoever I have to call. Seriously I want to say a lot of things but my stupid English is not letting me

  26. I’m really sorry your son was hurt. But honestly these comments about how a burn is an automatic mandated reporter call to CPS is unsettling. Kids get hurt. Not every injury in neglect or abuse. I’m not trying to downplay your situation and I understand why you are upset and seeking advice. But I’m surprised by so many responses assuming an injury is grounds for a CPS complaint.

  27. Accidents happened but your ex should have told you about the accident even if he though the burn was minor enough to tear at home. I cook all the time and bake so I have several burns a year which I never go to the hospital for. My two year old has burned himself while helping me cook and I didn’t take him tot he hospital either I called the nurse line after talking to my friend who works in healthcare and she told me to take him in. The nurse line agreed and we went in and had it treated at the pediatrician. His four now and doesn’t have a scar at all and isn’t remotely afraid of cooking though I’ve since then kept him away from the stove till he has better body awareness.

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