Advice on handling food restrictions at preschool...

  1. I'm closing the comments on this as it seems to be getting to be a bit of a pile up and no longer helpful to OP.

  2. Sun butter and jelly sandwiches. They are nut free and taste pretty identical to PB+J to my picky eater.

  3. Yep, sun butter is our go-to, as well. Imo, it does not taste just like PB, but my daughter is fine with it.

  4. It is a battle you will probably lose as most elementary schools I know of are also nut free. If you get the insulated container, you can pour boiling water in it to heat it up and then empty out the water and keep Mac and cheese inside and it will stay hot longer.

  5. It’s pretty normal in my area for all schools and daycares to be completely nut free. Even if a kid is in one classroom, there may be shared spaces like storage cubbies, lunch room equipment, etc. Every daycare/preschool I’ve seen (except some small home ones) are 100% nut free regardless of if there are nut allergic or not. Because it’s just easier than maybe needing to change rules if a new kid joins, etc.

  6. Most schools/daycares in my area back in the US were nut free. I get that you’re in a hard situation, but nut allergies can be super serious.

  7. I'm sure you've seen kids 'wash' their hands by running water over their fingers for 1 second and then walking away. I'm sorry to say I'm on the side of the preschool.

  8. Your child may be hungry, however the child with the nut allergy could die if your child’s hands aren’t washed thoroughly enough and shares a washroom with the other classroom, or even walks by the other child in the hallway after lunch. Put it in perspective. The risk is way too high to the other child. The majority of schools where I live are all completely nut free, so you’ll likely have to find an alternative regardless as he gets older.

  9. Yes you are being very unreasonable, and I say that as a parent of a child who has needed feeding therapy for years. A CHILD COULD DIE.

  10. Our daughter’s school is totally nut free but they do allow sun butter (made from sunflower seeds) which she likes. She has more options that she is willing to eat but is also particular. I started including a shelf stable horizon chocolate milk and a yogurt in her lunch/snack (with ice pack) to make sure she had enough calories and protein whether or not she ate her main course. We’ve done jelly sandwiches, ham sandwiches, cheese and crackers, a bagel with cream cheese, all with relative success. A lot of days over the summer I ended up feeding her a second lunch/large snack when she got home (she only goes half days.) I get the fear over what sounds like a severe peanut allergy. Sometimes they can react from a super minor exposure. My daughter has a food allergy as well but it is not life threatening. We don’t expect other kids or teachers to alter their behavior because her reaction isn’t super serious but I think that if it was life threatening I would be happy to know the school had protocols in place. Having to make sure everything is nut free plus free of her allergen is inconvenient but I wouldn’t want to put another child at risk.

  11. Sunflowers can be processed into a peanut butter alternative, Sunbutter. In Germany, it is mixed together with rye flour to make Sonnenblumenkernbrot (literally: sunflower whole seed bread), which is quite popular in German-speaking Europe. It is also sold as food for birds and can be used directly in cooking and salads.

  12. All the daycares and schools, public and private are nut free in my area. It's unreasonable to put an actual child's life at risk over a food preference.

  13. To answer the question asked, yes, you are being unreasonable. Your child can eat Sun butter and jelly or cold pizza; the other child can die from being near peanut butter. Considering none of those few lunch options offer something very different from snacks nutritionally, you could also just send a lunch full of whatever you’re sending for snack.

  14. All of our schools state wide are nut free. Public schools and private daycares. I’d start to introduce new things. Kids won’t let themselves starve. Try the bento box. My daughter loves hers at school and it usually comes back empty after a busy day of play and learning.

  15. Maybe answer the question…..It’s a fair question OP is asking about why this rule is needed and not at all intuitive. If I had only read your comment that only calls OP out, with zero explanation as to why the initial thought was missing the whole picture, not only would I have not changed my mind but I would have been even more frustrated. If you want people to care then explain things nicely and get off your high horse.

  16. Yes, you are being unreasonable. The risk is just too high for the other child. The director is correct in saying you would want the same if it were your child.

  17. As a parent of a kid with a nut allergy, I’m speechless. You’d rather my kid potentially die than find an alternative food for him to eat? Preschoolers aren’t known for their great hygiene and hand-washing skills. Imagine your kid eats his peanut butter sandwich, a bit drops and smears on his shirt, and then he bumps into my kid on the playground. This could literally kill my child. Come on now, have a little empathy. My kid is such a picky eater and sometimes goes through a whole day at preschool without eating more than a couple animal crackers. Yes, he’s super hungry and cranky when I pick him up, but he gets extra snacks and a big dinner at home. But going hungry for a day has never killed him!

  18. Exactly this. I have a child with allergies as well; this is why I'm scared when sending them to school! To think your child's pickyness is above a life threatening condition that the allergy child/family has no control over. What happened to humanity?

  19. “Is it unreasonable to demand that the preschool teacher risk another child’s life so I won’t be inconvenienced? They were rude when I asked them to!”

  20. Sun butter! We use it at the day camp I work at because we are nut free and the kids love it, including my own 4yo.

  21. I wouldn't dream of sending my kids to school with peanut butter (uk). It's the first thing on the no no list. I understand your predicament though, but at the level you describe (vomiting from getting worked up) I have to assume you are getting this looked into by pediatrician/dietician. This isn't standard picky eater behaviour this is in the ARFID and disordered eating zone.

  22. I have a picky eater so I can understand your pain, but if eating new things is really that big of an issue for him maybe it's not time for preschool? Maybe keep him at home and try food therapy for now?

  23. Former preschool teacher turned mom of a picky eater here. You’re being very unreasonable. I get the challenge you’re facing. I really do. But the other child’s parents have to worry that their child will go into anaphylaxis at school and die. The teachers have to worry that they’ll slip up somehow and have a child in their care go into anaphylaxis and die.

  24. Our centre is nut free and my kids have a cousin who is anaphylactic to nuts so we don't even allow our kid to have peanut butter or Nutella on daycare days or days we are seeing their cousins. We explain this as it could make another kid very ill and it's just safer to not incase we don't clean up properly after or accidentally get some on our clothes. Even my large office work has entire kitchens (3 kitchens per floor) where they request you to not bring in nuts or fish due severe allergies of adults (which we all comply with)

  25. Oh my. Yes, you're being very unreasonable, and if you can't see that then I feel bad for the teachers and director who have to stand up to you. A child could die. Period. End of discussion.

  26. Just wanted to say a lot of the comments are really rude considering your asking an honest question about why it matters if they’re in different classrooms. I thought the same thing as OP, they don’t eat together why does it matter. And if I had only read the comments that basically call OP out, with zero explanation as to why the initial thought was missing the whole picture, not only would I have not changed my mind but I would have been even more frustrated. If you want people to care then explain things nicely and get off your high horse.

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