Am I just fucking ugly? What did I do wrong that I get literally 0 messages in 2 months?

  1. I was going to say I'd swipe right! Then got to the name and realized they are, um, not what I'm looking for.

  2. I agree. Don't want to be mean but they are asking for advice... you look like a lesbian in this photo. My first thought was, yes you are an ugly woman haha.

  3. Hahaha same! I saw the photo and thought, "she's not the most attractive female on the planet, but I know myself and plenty of other guys have a very lenient admissions board. She may not get a full scholarship, but she could get in. Let me check this bio and find the red flag. 6'1"? That's tall, but definitely not tall enough to scare away ALL MEN on Tinder." That's when I went to the comments and it all made sense.

  4. OP you're not ugly but let's face it, GQ isn't beating down your door to feature you on their cover. Many people suggested growing facial hair but it looks like you're a few years away from a worthy filled out beard; is actually recommend clean shaven until your facial hair is filled out. You gotta do something different with your hair. I'm not against long hair but you gotta do SOMETHING different with it. Tame it, style it, cut it-- I'm not sure but find the best barber or stylest within an hour radius to help ya. It'll be worth whatever they charge at least the first time. At least in the photo, you look androgynous. Lose the jersey pic and taking pics in the bathroom. Get a friend to take some better pics or get an actual photographer. Professional pictures make you look professional. Try a suave ass suit or something. Take a picture next to a pile of chopped wood or something. You want to build up the image that you're tough/smart/professional/.... Something that gives off attractive vibes that you can actually change. Sorry man, you don't have the giga-Chad hairline or jawline. I've got a receding hairline myself and finally had to go with the buzzcut skin fade. That's what looks good on ME tho. Gotta keep switching it up until you find a style. Good luck.

  5. Yes being a woman I thought you were also a woman, I am attracted to guys with long hair and I thought you were a woman. Sorry. 😬

  6. Same. I enjoy the longer hair, but dudes with long hair need to put as much effort as women. You need good shampoo, moisturizing conditioner, and leave in products. Don't let your hair get all frizzy, greasy, or full of dead ends. Take care of your hair. So, I'm attracted to long hair as long as it's taken care of, and a lot of men fall very short.

  7. Speaking as a dude the long hair thing goes better with harder, more masculine features. OP should grow a beard if he can. And not lazily pulled back like a teenage girl jock would help.

  8. It's not really about being ugly... you just need to have more style and swag...ultimately you want to be yourself when you're talking with people but if you're trying to pick up people on Tinder you probably want to have a photo that doesn't look like you're going to a sporting event. People are literally judging you based on first impressions and a couple of photos you need to make sure you're giving them the right impression

  9. Try something more decisive. "Really whatever works" is vague, and puts it on the girl to come up with whatever whatever is. "Hit me back, if you like chill dudes with hair you can style" or something they can work with. Or "just here for hair tips" does the same thing.

  10. It’s not even chapstick, if your lips are like this you are dehydrated. Drink fucking water. You shouldn’t need chapstick if you’re hydrated enough.

  11. There are three things i would recommend, a haircut, a skincare routine, and some chapstick. But if you really wanna keep the hair, you gotta condition and use some product. Rn it doesn’t look too healthy.

  12. I came here to say chap stick as well. First thing I noticed when zooming in was flaky lips. A lot of people probably assume your photos are the best versions of you, so if the real you doesn’t live up to that photo, I’d just focus on some good skin and heath routines. Then get a better photo(s). You don’t have to change who you are, as I’m hair style, fashion sense, etc. you want to find someone who is naturally attracted to you; but make sure natural you isn’t a slob when it comes to personal hygiene and grooming. You also have to remember that on dating sites, your competition is fierce. Even if you consider a certain type what’s in your metaphorical “league,” no matter how far you drop the bar, Chad is still chatting her up. That’s where your personality needs to shine it’s best. Good luck.

  13. It’s probably stuff that he needed to hear tbh. He’s probably gotten by fine in life up to this point, but once you enter the dating field as a young man, changes and improvements must be made if you want to meet women, successfully.

  14. Most comments aren't even that savage idk most people are genuinely trying to help while also spotting the obvious shortcommings. The "worst" and most common I saw was "thought you were a girl". OP just has to sit back and take notes at this point, cause it might be a hard pill to swallow at 18 but a decision was made to go public and this post got a lot of traffic.

  15. Hey friend! I would love to see you AT a hockey game, smiling, with some friends or cheering in the stands if you're passionate about it!

  16. Yes! Research how best to care for your hair type so you can confidently wear it down. I think the hair and awkward picture is the problem here.

  17. as a guy with hair down to his butt, I have never once come across that amazing website. lots of great stuff on there

  18. This the one, OP! See if you can visit a derm just to discuss traction alopecia bc if you're a hockey player, I get the feeling you keep your hair tied back tight.

  19. Start with a hair cut, put on a button up shirt, go get some skin care products, get some type of cream for your chap lips, get some new glasses. Then delete your entire profile and create a new one. You won't look the same so they won't remember the old profile. This should help. Good luck

  20. You're really not helping yourself with anything thats going on in that picture. Either cut the hair or at least do a man bun since i legit couldn't tell that you're guy till i saw your name. Maybe grow a hair or two on your chin since the long hair/baby face combo really makes you look more like a child rather than a relationship seeking adult. That picture with your backside in the reflection is is so awkward and feminine no wonder half the comments are confused so ditch that immediately, i get that you want to show off your jersey but girls couldn't care less and it makes you look like a chick whos trying to show her face and ass in the same shot. At 18 you're not matching with anyone older so your best bet is leaving for a year or two and improving on yourself since most girls seek older guys. Not hard feelings my guy you're not ugly but your current aesthetic is really the main reason you're not getting anywhere on the app.

  21. I’d say start with a few more photos, if you have any friends who are into photography ask them to help out! I’d get some outside and doing some activities you enjoy. Girls don’t necessarily dislike guys with long hair, but how’s it’s cared for will make the difference for most. Clean and styled will go a long way- also if it’s styled differently it may help with some of the more blunt comments about femininity. Being 18 may narrow down the prospective pool or people looking for something serious on an online platform but you never know! Don’t be afraid to seek ways of meeting people in group settings if you’re not finding what you’re looking for online :)

  22. Took me a minute to know you were a guy. I would suggest cutting the hair and maybe adding photos of you in more than just the hockey shirt.

  23. Exactly. At the cost of sounding superficial, the percentage of women who want to be seen with a man with such long hair is very small.

  24. Let your hair down. Why are you growing it out to be pulled back? My is about that long and it's one of my best features. With most men, they have short hair. Long hair stands out and this picture tells me that you have a big nose and kinda look like a weird zenomorph. Hey that floats some boats not gonna judge. But you're 18, don't try so hard and you got this, act yourself and remember this. If you can make her laugh, she will moan.

  25. As a girl I’ll give you input from one, firstly the receding hairline is an issue, it isn’t bad to be losing hair but when men try to cling to it by having long hair when the hairline is that far up it usually looks a little weird. Secondly the style of glasses you wear isn’t super appealing, either one with a full frame or clear, but not both in one. Thirdly your lips are very dry and chapped and that sort of thing would also be a bit unappealing to most women, for your own sake use some chapstick! Also the photo isn’t the best, maybe something where you’re more centered, we’re mostly looking at your back.

  26. Better hairstyle, ditch the $30 fake jersey from DHGate, and have a more candid photo outside or participating in one of your interests.

  27. Saw the pic and was like I mean she’s kinda cute I’d smash. Saw the name looked closer and saw you were possibly a dude and thought he’s kinda cute I’d smash.

  28. I don’t think the hair itself is a problem, some women are into it and some men have amazing long hair—you do need better pictures that flatter you more, though, and probably do something with your hair that shows you take care of it. Properly maintained hair is far different from unkempt long hair.

  29. Honestly, you are in serious need of a better hair care regimen. It looks greasy and unhealthy. Look into better shampoos, conditioner, and hair products. Your hair can make or break you, it is currently breaking you.

  30. I’m getting confusing vibes with the cool old-fashioned glasses, jersey, and ponytail. Since your glasses aren’t going to likely change soon, I’d style the outfit around them with a button-up shirt and maybe a blazer. I think women tend to prefer shorter hair, but if it’s long you have to know how to wear and style it- maybe consult with a hairstylist to learn how to do so, and/or to discuss the best haircut for your face shape and personal style.

  31. Bro you are not ugly but u are young the most girls like dudes who look like "they know what they want" or "mysterious" ... you look young.... and it is true what the most people say the long hair arent that good for you. 1. I would like to see the other pics but the first pic is the most important one and your first pic isnt the best (dont do a selfie with bad light in your teenager room) 2. YOU ARE 18 if you arent a model or eboy the most girls wouldnt like that there are a lot of older guys and prob better looking so it is hatd for you 3. Your bio gives friendzone vibes 4. I would NOT recommand tinder with 18 ... you sould focus on yourself (do sport, lern cookikg, read, lern social skills etc) you are not old enough for online dating... the most boys need time to look matute enough so take your time. And head up king you are not ugly but online dating is hard (it could be that you are allrrady shadow banned ) you should get dates by making things in Real life

  32. Hahahaha! I was also like I don't think she is ugly, just needs some better set up for pictures, then I saw Jacob and was like oh shit, still not ugly just need better set up for pictures. Still laughing how confused my perception was hahahaA

  33. Long hair on guys is nice but you need to learn how to style it! I would also suggest to have someone else take a picture of you in a nice outfit, with your hair done and a good background. This photo just ain’t it

  34. The hair style is not suiting you at all. It looks like you have a big forehead, that's just not good in combination with long hair. Bite the bullet and cut it. Maybe a different style of glasses, which would make your face look a little bit more masculine. Chapstick, different clothes, better angle for the pic, also more pics. Good luck!

  35. Dating isn’t about finding someone who shares exactly all your interests. Be open and curious about meeting new people, period. Maybe describe the sort of things you’re open to/excited about doing with new connections instead of just saying ‘this is what I like, come to me if you like the same.’ What do you have to offer a potential connection?

  36. I'm a long haired man myself and I just wanna say, stop tying it back unless you aboustely need too, I don't wanna be that guy but you can already see whats happening to your hairline.

  37. Nothing personal, but I’ve never seen anyone look good in a jersey. Not even pro athletes. I’d suggest more pics with different clothes. Different hairstyle/cut. You’ve got great skin and lips.

  38. Bro why tf do so many of these guys come to this sub with these posts? Lol zero sense of self-awareness considering how serious women take hygiene first and foremost. You actually have to put a conscious effort in.

  39. You look like you just transitioned. I thought you were a girl at first, but the more I look at the pic, the more I can't really tell

  40. Men bun would be nice and perhaps some contact lenses to show your eyes better. Embrace the androgynous vibe tbh, it's attractive to a lot of girls.

  41. Yeah sorry man. The hard truth is I thought you were a girl as well. But an ugly girl, so at least straight dudes probably won't try to fuck you!

  42. No you aren’t. Your bio is a little messy. Tighten it up abit. Get some clearsil and work on the acne. There are some people that look good with long hair and you aren’t one of em. You need a nice short cut and you’ll look a lot better.

  43. Listen baby that’s not the best picture. Let’s do some pimple patches. Throw the mop in a man bun. Put on a black short sleeve v neck. Use some chapstick. Get black frames glasses and take some pics that flatter you. I’ll send inspo if you need help babes. And we don’t need facial hair.

  44. Change the haircut, i though you were a girl honestly… not trying to be mean but this hair it is not for you… In the end its your decision, this is just an opinion. Also the jersey, get rid of it. Get better pics, google a bit. I know most will tell you just be yourself but thats not how it works, for example at school you have a different behavior and dress code than at home … same goes for dating…

  45. You are attractive, you're just not presenting yourself as the attractive woman you are. The Hockey jersey, the low effort ponytail, the nerdy glasses, the low-effort background...

  46. if i see a “[insert height here] if that matters” even if i think the profile is otherwise interesting, it’s an automatic swipe left

  47. Automatic left swipe on “if that even matters” or “if anyone cares” because it comes off like you’re either judging/generalizing others preferences or that you feel like people don’t care about you. It falls in to same category as “if you want to know, just ask”; you’re a stranger so I don’t, and I won’t.

  48. Yeah, you are far from ugly. Quite feminine... that may unfortunately be working against you depending on your type of lady of course

  49. That isn't a good picture my man. Dress a little nicer and get a good photos taken of you. You aren't a bad looking guy at all!

  50. No offense meant here but yea you look like a girl in the pic. So if that’s your only pic then I can see why girls wouldn’t swipe on you

  51. Hey man, just here for a different view of your hair… I’m marrying a dude with long hair that always keep it back like you have in your picture, and I love it.

  52. I’ll be real with you, you look like a woman. You’re 6’1 and play sports there’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t be engaging with women. Cut your hair and let it go and I’m sure the entire world will start working in your favor. Good luck

  53. Get a haircut, expose yourself to the sun here and there, take better pictures, put something on that's not a sports jersey, invest in skin care....also they all care that you're not a midget, so ditch the "if you care" and just leave the 6'1"....

  54. Being an 18 M on tinder is never helpful, your only matches will be 18 year olds, don’t think any female will want to match with anyone younger than them

  55. With the same shirt in both pics, kind of poor camera quality, and nothing identifiable happening, it comes off a little off-putting. I think you’ve got a lot of good advice here to work with tho!

  56. These bring a very ‘forced photo’ vibe to it, not sure if it’d suit you better to have some candid shots of you doing things, acting slightly more natural.

  57. Those photos look like the kind of photos my mom takes off me. Do you have a friend or someone who‘s interested in photography (or social media photos)? The best ones are always those that come naturally, when you‘re having a good time and someone wants to cherish it.

  58. You need better lighting and style of clothing in your photos. Show personality and use lighting that will compliment you better. Dress more masculine, not to be a dick but as others have said here…. You look like a girl dude.

  59. I am also a dude with long hair. I am probably an inch away from you. Don't take the "you look like a girl" comments to heart because that is what happens to dudes with long hair if they don't wear it right. NEVER EVER wear a low ponytail unless it is tucked behind a hat. Grow some scruff, you don't need a full beard, just enough to see your facial hair. I wear my hair in a bun most of the time and I will usually have it at the crown or a few inches up, on my head. The higher the bun the more masculine it looks. Don't take pictures when you are showing off what jersey/sweater/kit you are wearing. In fact don't wear any of them unless it is game day. Also your glasses don't frame your face right.

  60. Dude, I don’t feel sorry for you. You’re 6’1, you write well, you have good teeth, you have great taste in sports, etc. Just cut your hair, I thought you were a woman.

  61. Mann the fact that 18yo are turning to tinder to find dates at the point in time in life where you’re likely in close proximity to a massive amount of peers who could eventually be dates…

  62. Lose the glasses, hit the gym, get a skincare routine, get a hairstyle that suits your face and you’ll get a girl in no time dude

  63. Need a better pic. Need to not mention the thing about "if you like".. those are sort of specific and it narrows your reach. It's better to keep it vague but not as vague as the last part of your bio. It's better to write the bio about yourself rather than the type of person you're looking for. The reason is because it narrows your audience. A big net catches a lot of fish. But definitely need a new photo and photos in general. I thought you were a woman and/or MtF trans

  64. No selfie holding the camera get good photos of you enjoying yourself. List more hobbies, don’t put “if you care” more photos more personality try to appeal to a niche type girl that enjoys same shit as you and no bro if you had better style you would do fine with that ladies. A Polo with a pair of Mott and bows, some dress boots and some different glasses. Have pictures at the park with your friends and some by yourself smiling. Have a girl take the pictures (hot girl is best) they know what women wanna see

  65. In addition to what everyone else said: women your age aren’t trying to date men your age, and the age limit is 18. It’s going to be real rough for you in tinder until you are like 25

  66. Can I ask why you think that? I mean the 18 part, like I was on tinder when I 20 ish but even on pof and other accounts never had this issue before. Even at 17, I had random meets, not that I condone underage use of these apps but I definitely don't think age is an issue. Definitely more on personality

  67. I’ll bet your long hair would be fantastic with the right style. Be honest that you didn’t even try to put yourself together for a photo. It’s a dating app and it didn’t occur to you to put your best foot forward. When I put my hair in a ponytail and wear a t-shirt, I readily acknowledge that I’m not trying very hard.

  68. Change the picture OP. You're not ugly, you have a nice features. You're just young, you still have a baby face that's why most of people mistaken you for a woman...You're still growing so don't worry about those comments for one second...Just change the angle when you take a picture and DO NOT CUT YOUR HAIR IT'S GORGEOUS!! Good luck

  69. Like so many others, you had me fooled and I'd swipe right - That aside, I'd probably still take a chance as you do have some solid hobbies!

  70. You gotta become more masculine, genuinely thought that you were a woman with your soft face, chubby body, weak looking eyes, pray smile and fucking ponytail. Also, Chapstick. Your mouth is probably dry and smells like shit. You're definitely not ugly, but it's clear you lack any sort of self awareness and personal hygiene. You're sitting here whining why won't girls swipe on you, and you seriously can't look at this and see why?

  71. Don’t lose hope bro. You’re 18, still got quite a ways to go. Keep working on yourself. Have friends take pictures of you. Sometimes we can’t get the best angles when we take them ourselves. Work out. Or don’t. You got this, partners will start flocking your doors in no time!

  72. Respectfully, you do look like a lesbian in this. My advice would be to try out a new haircut, like maybe cut a bit of your hair off so you can style it differently. Doesn’t have to be short hair, just not as long. And that pic isn’t the greatest either. To me, it seems like you’re coming off as an excited, inexperienced teen. Which there’s nothing wrong with, but it might not get you many swipes on Tinder. Also, maybe switch up the bio slightly. I’m not sure if you’re using Tinder to find a girlfriend, or just a fwb, but if you’re just trying to fuck, I’m not sure how many women are gonna want to play board games. You’re a tall dude, and I’m assuming you’re athletic, so you’re not “ugly” I think the hairstyle and the pic need to be changed

  73. Gonna be rough sailing here but there’s a lot going on so let’s just unpack the essentials. You aren’t very masculine and having your hair back in a bright ponytail holder isn’t helping that at all, also having your hair back and tight like that isn’t helping as it’s showing off a not great looking hairline. Keep the hair long, that’s fine, but get it in order and looking good for pics and use it my man, let those locks flow. This one would be harder to change due to cost but the glasses also look very feminine which is further exacerbating the main issue at hand which is that you’re rather babyfaced and it leads to a more feminine look. Get some pics in regular clothes looking normal as well, idk what it is about that jersey but it just doesn’t look right or flattering in any way. Lastly as far as pics and looks go hit up YouTube or some friends to help you take pics better, this angle and lighting are bad which do not help you out at all.

  74. 1st fluorescent lighting is nobody's friend, get outside and have someone take photos of you. If theres a local college with a photography course nearby, hit them up and see if anyone needs a practice shoot (they'll likely do it for very cheap if not free).

  75. Your baseline is fine, you can become an 8/10 very very easily, there are some major things to fix that don't take much effort:

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