I Left My Boyfriend Over Laundry and I'm Not Sorry, and I Don't Regret It at All

  1. Man that is a crazy story. At least you found out what a treat he really is before you got married and had kids! Consider yourself a very lucky girl!

  2. I feel, honestly so lucky. And I also feel... just really wired and primal. Something in my brain just took over in that moment, and then again on the phone. It was like real world me was in a bubble, and this other part of my brain was like, "Legs walk out the door. Quietly now legs. Get the things. Now the body gets in the car. Quickly now, and we'll go somewhere safe. I know where to go if you just do the things."

  3. This seems like the alternate path from one of those suspense/horror films where the main character chooses the correct thing to do instead of going back to try and make up with the boyfriend… before the rest of the movie plays out. 😐🫣

  4. Not to mention he was recording the whole thing with hidden cameras in his apartment. OP you need to get a restraining order with the officer statement about the cameras in case you ever pop up in revenge porn or something along those lines.

  5. and the way his mom reacted… OP was completely right in leaving. parents tend to hide this kind of shit for their kids, because it could reflect on them and they know that.

  6. The Invisible Man is sort of like this. Where the MC escapes her abusive husband and hides away, as she should. Except until he finds her and a whole lot of shit goes down.

  7. You didn’t leave him over laundry. It wasn’t because of a fight about laundry. It was that his whole demeanor and personality changed. Happened to be laundry but could have ended up being any other mundane thing. When people end up saying flippant thing in the form of “ can’t believe you broke up over a laundry fight”, I think it might be useful to correct them that it wasn’t actually about the laundry. It was about who he showed to be. I really hope he doesn’t become a dangerous stalkerish creep.

  8. You're right. It wasn't the laundry, it was him. It was the voice that really scared me the most. I'm in a weird place at the moment where I feel like I could just forget the whole relationship like amnesia, but really I'm so anxious that it won't just go away.

  9. Yeah my ex likes to tell people that I broke up with him over sprouts. But in reality it was because of a culmination of belittling behaviour, coercive control and isolation over a year. The last dinner i cooked him i cooked everything how he liked but decided i hadn't cooked his sprouts the right way. He berated me for hours over it so the next day while he was at work I noped out, took all my stuff and moved back with my dad.

  10. Yeah exactly. If anything, OP didn’t leave him over laundry, OP left him over his own insane overreaction about laundry. And clearly there are much bigger issues at play, but the onus of making a big deal over a small issue is on him, not on her. OP you are not the one overreacting here. He is.

  11. Tell your mom to not talk to his mom about this stuff. That seems like throwing gas on a fire by having others discussing him without him knowing.

  12. Ugh, you are so right! My ex did this around the same time, but I was too frozen to change things. I wished I would’ve sent him packing sooner, but it reminds me of the famous Maya Angelou quote: When someone shows you who they are, believe them THE FIRST TIME.

  13. Seriously. All predators develop a mask to hide their rage. youre right, his slipped just a little. OP needs to be strong and stay away from that.

  14. I often see posts asking relationship questions/telling stories etc, and before reading comments you just know the comment section will be filled with “divorce!”, and “leave them!” Often times it’s over mundane, regular relationship fights and disagreements.

  15. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. In this moment, I'd rather move to Reykjavik than ever have to see/hear him again. Ever. And I hope I always feel that way.

  16. This is one of the best replies here and the poster is 1000% right about how wrong it was (pardon the cheap pun, everyone’s reactions here beg for a little comic relief) to go back.

  17. My ex-wife was manipulative and abusive. It really sucks when you start to self doubt and think could it really be you?

  18. Hands down I commend your bravery and vulnerability to share your story. I hope your path of recovery continues to be solid, strong and that you come out of it unfuckwithable.

  19. Yes. Two years does seem to be a key in many of these situations. My stepdaughter was in a similar situation. It was hell to get her and her children out. I was in one as well, not quite as severe, but it does mess with you.

  20. I have been there too! Same age and still struggling over a relationship I had at 20 years old, he is dead now (whew!) but I am still not over the PTSD. To beat it all his family believes I am lying. 🙃 I hope we both heal! Thank you for posting this! ♥️

  21. When I told someone I trusted about what was happening to me I got told “at least it’s only verbal, emotional and sexual abuse. It’s not like it’s physical.” Therapist dropped a bombshell on me the other week that he physically abused me. I didn’t even realise and I was on/off with this guy for too many years. Broke the domestic violence protection order I don’t know how many times. I should’ve run the first time he hurt me

  22. Girl what the fuuuucccckkk!!! I am SO glad you listened to that voice in your head and got the everloving fuck out of there before he went all American Psycho on you. Also mad props to your dad just casually hiding your car lol, what a boss. Seriously though you did what many women sadly do not get the chance to do and got out safely - well done!

  23. You made the right choice, I’m so glad that you got out of there and that your dad has good instincts. I don’t know if this knowledge will make things better or not, but many abusers only start to show their abusive sides when they believe they have their partner locked in, i.e., just moved in, just got married, just got pregnant, etc. It’s so shitty and scary but I hope that you can be proud of yourself for getting the fuck out when you did.

  24. I had something similar happen and left the very next day. He was only going to get worse and it may not seem like a big deal to some people but it's scary when it's happening. A complete shift in character and he had a lot of other issues? I'm glad that you got out when you did and I hope you stay safe.

  25. WOW. I’m so glad you got out. This is a prime example of TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! You listened to that inner voice that was telling you something was terribly wrong and I think it’s saving you from a monster. Funny how the smallest things (laundry in this case) can be an indication of larger issues. I hope your life gets better and you get away from him permanently!

  26. right this is crazy and im glad she is safe crazy how u can be with someone for 2 yrs and then this glad it happened before they got married since he was planning to propose to her.

  27. A lot of people won’t show their true colors until after you move in; then you realize who they really are and sometimes it’s not good. I’m really glad you got out of the situation. Please consider getting a restraining order

  28. literally if you listened to that “oh couples fight” and let yourself get gaslit into staying i guarantee it would’ve turned abusive. you need to leave at the first sign of that sort of behaviour, maybe that’s just me but idgaf if you were stressed or you had a bad day or it was just a one time thing, that is no excuse to talk to me like that.

  29. The people who gaslight you into staying will also be the one blaming you for not leaving when the abuser finally kills you or ruins your life for good.

  30. Can confirm- after seven months, my ex flipped over my asking him to take out the trash, which led to he getting violent. OP is being very smart and doing exactly the right thing.

  31. I have no idea what you can do about and it may not be relevant compared to the fact that you were living with a seriously disturbed person, but do youvthink he had cameras everywhere and was recording footage?

  32. Right? Who knows. I'm waiting to meet with a lawyer friend to see if there's any legal recourse I have to prevent him from doing anything with any videos of me if he had any, but it's so disturbing.

  33. Yeah this story has me shitting bricks, it's scarier than any horror movie/story I could find online. I'm just glad OP is safe now.

  34. A friend of mine had smth similar happened to her. Her husband had schizophrenia and his family never told her. It was a wild ride too.

  35. You're lucky you're finding this out now than being balls deep into marriage with someone like this. It's fucking clothes. If he was so concerned with his clothes being folded a certain way, he could have told you to just leave his aside

  36. It's not about clothes or housework; it's about control. Narcissists like this, wait till a milestone in commitment occurs in a relationship, like moving in together, to drop the mask and establish what they really want: control.

  37. What the hell im so glad you’re safe and away from this weirdo!!! Good on you for following your instincts, and glad you have people like your parents in your life!

  38. It’s not just about the laundry it’s about his so-called “self respect” which means that anytime he feels disrespected, you can expect a similar psycho response.

  39. Proud of you for trusting your instincts and getting out of there. So many people ignore those gut feelings and end up in really terrible situations. Abusers feel more comfortable and empowered to mistreat their partners when they move in together.

  40. Glad you’re going to be okay. Your Dad is the best! You seen Sleeping With the Enemy? You just dodged a bullet. Whew.

  41. As a peer your age, you are in the right. Do not go back to him. If he tries anything, fucking wipe the floor with him. Learn your state’s self defense laws!

  42. Man, you didn't leave your boyfriend over laundry, you left because he had a bunch of complicated psychological issues that he hadn't prepared you for, that you weren't prepared for, and you became extremely uncomfortable and felt unsafe around him. That's what you can lead with if you need to explain to people close to you why you're now single.

  43. yeah it wasn't about the laundry. he's a fucking psycho. he was wondering when you would see that side of him. because he knew its fucked up and was hiding it from you until it couldn't.

  44. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My father was kind of the same way. He could only keep up the facade for but so long before each new girlfriend would finally see the real him. I'm glad you found out and got out when you did.

  45. I got chills reading your post. I felt like I was reading the synopsis of a horror movie. I keep imagining his voice changing and it's still freaking me out.

  46. I'm in a weird mental place, but I honestly think that's what pushed my brain to just leave. The changes in his voice/tone and the laughing were so scary and chilling. If he'd done that in just his regular voice, I think I would have tried to talk with him, even though what he was saying wasn't "right", like, it didn't really make sense, especially when it just... was so far from who I knew him as.

  47. Glad you got out, I work with dv/mental health. This honestly sounds like the start to some of the worst stories I have heard. The sudden snap, the fear, the attempted control thereafter, all these things can rapidly escalate. You did the right thing. Stay safe and start to heal

  48. Forget Batman, you’re my new hero. I commend you for recognizing red flags and gtfo of that situation; I promise the next episode would’ve been way worse. Please consult law enforcement as it seems some of his messages would be enough for a restraining order. Please continue to be safe and try not to be alone for the next few months in places where he can ambush you. Fortunately you’ll never know how bad it could’ve been. Continue to listen to your gut and stay strong. As a father of three girls I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart.

  49. I’m proud of you. So. So proud of you. I didn’t listen to my inner voice screaming when the mask slipped with my ex. Took me two years to be extracted. You listened. You left. You did the right thing and I am so proud of you. This wasn’t over laundry. This was over him pushing your boundaries to see just how much he could get away with and stretch for more. Your inner voice saved your life. Sending hugs if wanted or welcome.

  50. Fuck. Lucky you did the crappy folding when you did, or you might have gotten way further down the road in the relationship and may have eventually had a family together before finding out. I’m sorry you went through that. It IS scary. He’s got anger issues, maybe narcissistic, just damaged. Stay away from him now. You’re doing the right thing. It always escalated from there, next is violence.

  51. This reminds me the first time my ex hit me. He hit me over an argument of being able to sit down and order at this restaurant in a grocery store, it had been open for a few months and I went there for lunch with friends from school a lot so I knew it wasn’t just a seating area with a buffet in the grocery area. Next day my whole family brought 3 trucks and a trailer and moved me out while he was at work. I pretty much owned everything in the apartment and so he came home to an empty apartment.

  52. I'm so sorry for you, but I hope you're safe and can feel relieved that you got away before you were hurt. It sounds like his mother is well aware of his mental illness. Good on your Dad for backing you up, too. What a disappointment for you, though.

  53. I’ve known moms like this. They know their son is abusive. The whole family knows. They’re sweet like honey to the potential spouse because as soon as they get married, he won’t be their problem anymore

  54. I don’t usually read these word by word but my god. This is so creepy. Good for you for having good instincts. I don’t have to say this because I’m sure you know but you definitely dodged a bullet.

  55. damn hang in there man that's rough. get some mace n they make these legal brass knuckles that look like a little cat. share ur location w ur people. don't let that punk motherfucker stop u from living that life though. u got this lady(?) ur strong

  56. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m thankful your parents are awesome. The cameras though…. I have so many questions! How long have they been there??!! And the comment his mom made… she definitely knew more than she was letting on about his behavior

  57. I am so proud of you. This really has the vibe of one of those things that people can try to ignore it, and pretend it never happened, and then cut to 5 years later and they would give anything to go back and listen to that voice that says “danger.” You listened to that voice. You are absolutely in the right here. I am so glad your dad backed you up like this, it sounds like you both handled this perfectly.

  58. Are you from Denver or Cleveland by any chance? Because I have seen a person do something just like that while I was staying at his house with my three year old daughter. I thought he was a close friend. I called him my daughter’s uncle. And then he just completely flipped. It was so scary I pretended everything was normal until he left the house to get us lunch and packed up my daughter and drove an hour to a friend’s house to get away from him. Did some deep diving into his history and found out stuff that was horrifying and I felt ashamed I ever let him around my family

  59. At least you listened to your gut and didn’t go back to him seven times like so many other people do with abusive partners. Because that was abuse. You saw him taking something out on you that you had nothing to do with and then he just lost his mind. I’m really glad you had a zero tolerance policy you may not have even been aware of lol hope he sorts his shit out

  60. Leaving immediately is the best and strongest thing you can do. I’ve been in the situation of dating someone and then moving in with them and seeing them flipping to a totally different person behind closed doors - belittling me, name calling, gaslighting, god complex, treating me terribly and then kicking me out if I defended myself etc. and it’s extremely invalidating when it feels like you’re the only one experiencing this because externally they put on a display and no one believes your experiences.

  61. If you suspect that there are hidden cameras in your home, or anywhere for that matter. Grab your phone, use your front facing camera. Turn off the lights in the area you suspect has them and use the front facing camera to record a video facing the objects and if you see a purple/white/red light being emitted from something in the video... A 'hidden' camera is likely there.

  62. That was terrifying to read. My heart was in my throat the whole time I read that because I was worried for your safety. He's a psycho. Thank goodness you're safe.

  63. You did the right thing. I know it is hard to end a relationship, even when it's the right thing to do, and I'm sorry you had to experience that. But good on you for being strong.

  64. My ex did the same insane thing but it was over text. Everything was completely normal and then suddenly im getting absolutely psycho abusive texts blaming me for things i never did, or said. Criticizing me for who i am, what i like, etc. I called but he wouldnt pick up. It was so completely surreal. He had never been anything but kind to me. I thought i was going crazy. More texts. Hours. Me trying to umderstand what was wrong. I thought he was having a psychotic break. He was insanely mean. I stopped responding. Four hours later he texts me and says he was drunk. The man told me he didnt drink. Id like to say i dumped him and spared myself the next 4 years of bullshit. But no, he did this AGAIN 2 years later. I forgave him because he was under stress. After almost 5 years i got free. Im free.

  65. Man, he didn't even slowly go into abusive. If he did that over laundry what was it going to be next? And I guarantee that camera wasn't for personal safety reasons if its hidden from you and he never mentioned it.

  66. I've always kept renting my own place while in relationships because of reasons. my neighbours loved me, I was home maybe 2 to 3 nights a month for several years.

  67. I wonder if there were any precursors? It seems hard that a reaction like that followed by 74 calls and (assuming here) 50+ texts came out of someone who was just peachy the whole time. NOT saying I don't believe the story, I'm just curious. Behavioral patterns tend to develop, and maybe the move-in was stressing him out and that damned t-shirt was the last straw.

  68. Not living together, working 9-5, probably not seeing each other every day. Doing a lot of stuff in public, etc. From my experience, those guys know how to control themselves in environments where they would get into trouble for acting out.

  69. I feel like I absolutely must have missed something that I just didn't know that I didn't know. It honestly feels like waking up from a dream, it's so unreal, and I can't pinpoint anything at all right now, like you see on TV where people are like, well actually, there were times when little things would happen...

  70. This sounds so eerie similar to my situation. First off I absolutely loved my late fiancé. We had just moved in together. He was working on a tugboat and we were video chatting via an app called marco polo. If you don't know what it is its basically video voice mails where you can go back and forth but you can't respond until the other person stops their video. We were fighting over a piece of art I felt was demonic and he had already promised me he would get rid of it. Something snapped in a matter of a second. His eyes went dark, said fuck this, and took his life while on camera. After his death I got into his email to find he was looking up hidden cameras to place in the apartment. He also put a tracker in my car and had somehow put something hidden on my phone where it would share every call, text, and internet search that I did. (I'm a big tech nerd and not once did I suspect him collecting data from my phone). I say all this to tell you I completely believe you and from experience it could have gotten so much worse than folding laundry that day. I would definitely make sure he's not tapping phone. I believe you sis.

  71. You know, when I was reading this my stomach sank as soon as you described his behaviour. It was so OFF. Just so creepy. And well done to you for heeding the first major red flag.

  72. arguments like that are very telling about what kind of person you’re considering marrying. i’m so glad you got out and listened to your brain, i hope everything works out well for you, good luck OP

  73. It sounds like he's an abuser waiting to happen and you just saw him do step one of trying to break you down. Glad you got out when you did.

  74. My ex was sorta similar, but his was drug induced. He was addicted to adderall and also an alcoholic, two things I didn’t realize until we moved in together. He would turn into a very odd person when he was “high”. I put that in quotes because you almost couldn’t even tell that he’s high unless you knew him personally. But when he took too many pills and drank too much, he became a different person. He also hid a camera in our house because he was convinced I was cheating on him, even tho I never gave him a reason to think such. He even followed me out with my girlfriends to make sure I wasn’t messing around. Didn’t find any of this out til later. I tried to help him, tried to get him help for his addictions. But he would just revert back and eventually it ended up in a physical altercation. That’s when I left. I am SO glad you got out before it escalated to violence. Good luck to you.

  75. You went through some shit and I am glad you got out. You are also a very captivating writer. I would read your books.

  76. Holy fucking shit, I got goose bumps reading this. How are you feeling now that you’re away from him? People who can completely change themselves just like that can’t be trusted. He hid such a demeaning, evil side from you for two years, and when it came out, he expected you to be okay with it! That’s madness. You’re worthy of more, good gods. I hope things improve for you :(

  77. This is the first time a Reddit post gave me such a visceral fear reaction. Something about the way you described his behavior is deeply disturbing and I'm so glad you got of there.

  78. My ex just broke up with me 56 days ago this exact way except over text. Without getting into specifics he scared the F out of me. He does have Borderline Personality Disorder. He flipped! It must have been a psychotic break. I was so frightened that I blocked him instantly. I was so hurt over the fact that I didn’t know who he really was. The sweetest man I ever met turned into this evil person I had no clue could ever act that way. I’m so broken right now. We were together a year and a half. You have a longer history with an apartment and everything else. However your ex’s reaction reminded me of mine. I’m grateful your family is behind you 100%. Stay safe!

  79. I found this entire thing chilling and I’m so impressed you got out of there and I’m really impressed with your dad’s reaction too. Everything your ex did, is 2000 levels of nope. Seriously, good on you for leaving and not dismissing this as a bump in the road. I can’t stress enough how much of an excellent choice this was. Genuinely, I hope I raise my daughter to react exactly the same if she’s ever faced with this kind of event. Please if you’re not already, consider talking to a therapist. This is a HUGE shock to the system and getting help to process what you’ve been through and how to heal is honestly excellent. Sending you a big high five!

  80. Fuck I got done reading that and I thought I was watching a two hour movie. I'd save all pertinent voicemails and it might be in your best interest to prepare a proof folder or file, because if you see him even one more time, I'd get a restraining order.

  81. Has he been in a long relationship before you? and has he lived with anyone before? if so, I wonder why they broke up. You may not be the first to see this ugly side of him. He obviously managed to hide his personality changes until you moved in together.

  82. Wow. Good for you for trusting your instincts on this one and leaving. I can’t believe how much it just continued to get worse. Stay safe. Document everything. Get a restraining order. Call the cops at every chance so it is well documented.

  83. Wow. You don’t have to justify to anyone why you left. Your instict kicked in and it helped you escape what could’ve been a bad situation. I hope you’re okay and glad that you have a very strong support system

  84. SO SO proud of you for leaving after this incident! You are brave and strong and you got a gut like a rock! You’re amazing and he’s a nut with abusive tendencies. You were right to think this could escalate.

  85. Ngl I'd be a little freaked out too. Just reading that put me on edge having dealt with something very similar. Things were good, until they weren't. That "real side" excuse can be chilling, especially when it comes out of nowhere like that. Looking back, if you choose to, you might see some cracks that were present but shrugged off. It's scary. And ya know what, fuck anyone who thinks they know better than you. You don't need to justify it.

  86. I want to make this very clear: you did not leave him because of a shirt or laundry. You left him because of his frightening psychotic/neurotic reaction to how you were doing the laundry, and all the strange yet unacceptable behaviors that followed. Don’t let anyone who downplays this creepy behavior know where you are, as they’re likely to give that information to your ex. Mental health is hard, and it can be an explanation, but it is no excuse to treat people poorly. I’m a mental health advocate and have issues myself, but his response was not acceptable. You did the right thing by keeping yourself safe.

  87. As a domestic abuse survivor, you did the right thing. I lost eight years to my narcissistic husband and can’t get them back. Self reflect and seek therapy, you are worth it!

  88. It’s really good that you have such a strong support network with your parents that you were able to leave and have help and support and validation.

  89. So crazy that some people have a sixth sense, while other people go back and back again to a bad man until they get murdered

  90. “Everyone has cameras” yeah I have cameras in my house... in the open.. and everyone who lives here is aware of them. This is seriously unhinged and red flags for domestic abuse. If you outlined his behavior to your friends the way you did here and they’re not getting it.. maybe time to distance yourself. You did a really smart, really hard, thing by leaving at the first red flag. If this was the FIRST time and your body was screaming “danger” it’s because there was danger. Good for you and good luck moving forward

  91. Don’t know if this has been suggested, but look up your state’s laws on self defense and weapons. If you can easily, get a gun and learn how to use it at a range. If not, get pepper spray, tazer, or something else. Keep close to friends and family as well.

  92. So in your title you said you left your boyfriend over laundry. I read your post, and OP, I don't think that is really an accurate title.

  93. Yoooo this shit is scary af..on some psychopath shit. That’s the type to black out and kill you. And your dad is awesome. Stay smart, stay safe!

  94. Holy fucking hell, his family knew he had psychology issues and didnt warn you. You did the right thing for your safety and got the hell out of there before something worse happened. Please keep copies of all the voicemails and texts in case you need to file a police report and get a restraining order to show it's a pattern of behavior not just a one time thing. Your mother really did not take this seriously but I love that your father jumped right in and made sure to ensure your safety. Please please please remain deligent since it's only been a week and let your coworkers and friends and family know that he showed extreme behaviors that compromised your safety and that he may contact them trying to get to you. I really hope he stays away but given his initial reaction and his mother's shady response I suspect this has happened before. Be safe.

  95. As someone who exited an abusive situation last year, be careful who you talk to about it because many, many people will try to minimize or make excuses for fights between couples. It's sad that such unhealthy dynamics are seen as "normal". YOU ARE RIGHT TO LEAVE. Like other people said, DON'T GO BACK and get some therapy. There are also a handful of support subs for healing from these types of situations that I can pm you if you are interested.

  96. As a person with mental health struggles, I say that you did well to get out when you did. While mental illness is not a sufferer's fault, we still need to make sure we don't let others suffer because of it. I felt the same sort of fear/danger feeling when reading his responses as you probably did. This is not normal or logical behavior. If his personality can flip like this at the drop of a hat, he is not safe to be around. I can't verbally explain to you how relieved I am that you followed your instincts and got tf out of that situation. You are in no way at fault for anything here, nor are you being unreasonable in any way. I don't know why his family is making excuses for him. Perhaps he has gaslit them so much they can't see the reality of the situation, or maybe they're so used to his BS that it seems almost normal to them. Who can tell? But good on you for getting out and staying away. Don't listen him or his family and just make sure you're safe.

  97. You have the safe space to process all of this now. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. Again, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. For those who like tiny writing You did the right thing. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING YOU DID THE RIGHT THING

  98. This was terrifying to read. And yet so well familiar. Unfortunately my mom married a person that can be just normal in one second and do a complete 180° in another. I completely understand what you mean when you say there's a change in voice. Red raged face that would get distorted in horrific grimaces. All I can say... Is I'm happy you got out there. Your gut was right. And you did the right thing for your life to cut that relationship. I think there are just people that no amount of therapy can fix. You deserve better. The messages and calls you've been getting are only a small glimpse of what your life would look like. The laundy situation would repeat, with any every day situation. Sometimes it would get more severe, happen even a multiple times of day. You did right. Stay safe, and if needed get away from him as far as you can. You deserve better. ❤️

  99. Sadly, there are people who just don’t even understand that you aren’t ever supposed to be scared of your partner. They just think it’s part of being in a relationship. You were right to go when you felt scared and felt danger. This isn’t about laundry.

  100. Everyone else already said the important things about your situation. I just wanted to say YOUR DAD FUCKING ROCKS!!! I hope myself or my husband have that kind of relationship and intuition with our daughter when she gets older. He believes you instantly and did everything he could to help YOU instead of getting pissed off at bf and wanting to kick his ass or whatever. YOU are way more important than stuff or anyone's pride because fighting for that stuff would have made this really messy.

  101. Wow I always find stuff like this so fascinating in the sense that don’t people like this give any red flags before? Like surely after reflecting over the 2 years there may have been indicators you may have missed (not saying it’s your fault)? Or maybe people just conceal their true selves really well idk. But it would be to good know any signs for the rest of us to watch out for.

  102. Nice dodge! In another week he'd think it was weird that you thought you deserved to be treated with respect at all!

  103. Girl I'm so impressed by your ability to listen to your gut. Your gut said run and you didn't hesitate. You're lucky you have that and a supportive family. It's not just a shirt or security. This is how domestic abuse starts and is so hard to prove and report because people be like "its just laundry, it's just a fight." It's in between the lines and the intimidation. People who don't get it have never felt that fear you felt.

  104. I don't know if anybody has mentioned it yet but you might want to take your car to a mechanic and have them give it the once over to see if there are any tracking devices on it

  105. Your reaction to the whole thing gives me the impression that you were raised in a relatively healthy and functional home. You sensed danger and didn’t even try to excuse it, good for you, your parents should be proud and you should be proud of yourself. I’m sorry you had to go through that though, 2 years is a long time but you made the right and smart decision.

  106. I didn't see this said but I pray you see it. The most dangerous time in your life, is leaving an abuser and this dude seems to fit the bill. The amount of texts and calls you are getting is screaming terrifying things about his mental state. Call a women's shelter or domestic violence shelter. Now. Tell them you are afraid and he is harassing you. They usually have legal resources and know their way through getting a restraining order. Doing it yourself is possible, I did, but i found out stuff later that a shelter could have helped me with. Please be careful. You are in danger. Having been through this, if/when you can afford to move on your own, move to another city if possible. You'll feel safer when going outside even just to the store. Good luck and stay safe.

  107. Reading this gave me CHILLS! OP YOU DODGED A F*CKIN NUCLEAR MISSILE! THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO YOUR FEELINGS AND NOT LETTING THAT PSYCHO GASLIGHT YOU.

  108. Omg op this is so scary and Im glad you got away before it's too late. The fact he even tried to downplay his behavior and trying to manipulate you into coming back. And the hidden cameras... jfc stay safe OP

  109. So weird, same thing happened to me but it was someone that I was talking long distanced for a long time planning to meet and he just changed suddenly after night that we met for the first time. He ignored me all night thinking I’ll accept it then got pissed because I talked to other guy and “cock blocked” him from having his first experience threesome with two other girls. What the fuck. It’s so weird how someone can flip up like that.

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