Why do people criticize me so much for my dating preferences?

  1. There’s nothing wrong with having preference. I see lots of women on tinder stating they are tall. Some say it in a nice, normal way, others say it in a very rude put down way. I think like anything it’s just how you go about it.

  2. I’m 5’10” and guys used to get pissed because I put on my dating profile that I prefer my hight or taller. One guy was 5’4” and really angry about it and I kindly told him that I have back problems and I’m not going to put myself in pain to bend for hugs and kisses. Sorry not sorry

  3. I put it in as more of a warning. I’m 5’10” and as a woman I know that can make me an automatic no to some people. I’m fine with dating guys a bit shorter because it doesn’t bother me and my dating pool would be much too small when my other preferences are factored in. When I had dating apps my bio read “I’m 5’10”, so if you’re not into that swipe left”.

  4. I'm a short ass but I'm cool with that... If anything it makes my life easier because I don't have to deal with the woman that want over 6ft.. happy days!

  5. Right. I don’t understand anybody’s issue with other people’s dating preferences - men get mad if a woman says she only wants to date tall guys, women get mad if a man says he only wants to date a thin/fit woman….like why is that so upsetting? People out here acting like there aren’t preferences that they have as well.

  6. I’m a woman & I’m 5”11. I made it clear years ago in my tinder profile that I wouldn’t date anyone shorter than me because I’m not bending down for anything. I don’t like that. I don’t want to do it. It’s too much. But I stated it respectfully and jokingly all the time. “Would like to date someone my height or taller because my back is too bad to bend over”

  7. Yup. It’s the old adage of “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” If you respectfully put in dating profiles that you’re interested in tall women because of your own height, that’s fine. “No short bitches” (yes I’m exaggerating here; I’m sure you don’t say this) is rude. Everyone has preferences. I’m a tall woman and only date taller men because I’m taller than average height men and shorter men. Men might not like me for the same reason, or any other reason. That’s their choice.

  8. Yeah I’m 6’4 and don’t usually go for girls under 5’7 (unless I’m drunk then I become “less selective” at least for the night ;) ) because it just seems weird after that, makes me uncomfortable how much smaller, but I don’t think anything negative, their are exceptions but I wouldn’t actually date someone shorter. Helps not struggling in this area thank god for having the option to be selective. I’ve never had anyone try to call me out but I’m rarely up front with women unless I’m actually trying to date them long term, which is usually 1 out of 100 that get that effort. They treat our lil bros(5-11 and under gang) the same way so I don’t feel bad.

  9. Welcome to double standards. A woman does this = you go girl! Power move from a strong independent woman who don't need no man

  10. As a short woman (5’0 1/2), you can’t help what you prefer. I have preferences too! I know you don’t hate us short girls, you just prefer someone who is closer to your height. Which is understandable 👍🏽 some people may not agree with it but they got to understand it’s your life, you aren’t hurting anyone

  11. The funny thing is that I as a small guy have it hard because most women want a taller boyfriend even if they are short as well. Someone who was 10cm smaller than me told me that I’m too small… I bet that the people judging him for his preference literally do have the same preference because oh well they wanted to date a really tall guy 🤦🏼‍♂️

  12. I’m a cm or two taller than you, and being with dudes that are too much taller than me is just a logistical nightmare. My partner is around 170cm tall and he’s perfect :3

  13. Lavar you don't need to explain yourself to nobody. Raise those future NBA and WNBA stars and have faith from birth till Draft. You got this King.

  14. Always find it funny when people say they only want people 6 foot and up. You're excluding the majority of your dating pool automatically. Then you have to find a tall person who likes you back and that you're compatible with

  15. There is nothing wrong with your preference as long as you aren't a dick about it to people.

  16. I’ve always dated shorter guys cause I’m short and that’s just my preference. It’s crazy how often I’ve gotten shit for dating a short guy but not even close to how often they got shit for simply being short.

  17. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your preferences. I am a 5’0 woman and I’ve dated only 6 feet+ men in the past, and it was super uncomfortable. Just kissing or hugging would hurt my neck/back. Now, I’m dating a 5’7 man and it’s SO much better. It’s not anyone else’s life but yours, so make your choices for YOU.

  18. Good. Leave the shorter women for us guys who are under 6 ft tall. Sadly, the shorter women still prefer guys who are over 6 ft tall, though.

  19. I’m 6’1” and refuse to date women under 5’7” so I’m fighting the good fight for my fellow shorter kings

  20. It doesn't matter. By and large, being under 6ft is a deal breaker for lots of ladies. I'm so glad my girlfriend wasn't put off by me being the same height as her (5'8").

  21. Honestly, I have never really understood height preferences. I genuinely don't give a shit if a guy is tall or short, as long as they are taller than me, but that's because I'm only 5'3 so dating someone shorter than me would feel weird. My boyfriend (5'10) has a major preference for short women, though, I'm the same height as his late wife.

  22. Tall women are fucked in the dating market so I feel like this is probably a good thing, but I do think it’s kinda weird to have any exact number in your mind when thinking about relationships. Would you really turn down a perfect woman in personality and looks if they were 5’10? You might miss out on something special.

  23. I am 5’11 and a girl, and it’s funny because people love to shit on people for having height preferences but men don’t usually want to be shorter than me so if anything it’s been kinda eliminating a lot of the dating pool for me. My boyfriend now is 6’1 on a good day and my legs are still sooo much longer than his lol

  24. Love this response.. I know so many shorter women who basically fetishize taller men and in my head I Know it’s so uncomfortable in certain circumstances..

  25. This is so interesting. I’m the same height as you and my partner is 6’3 but we kiss just fine. I wonder if the extra 2 inches makes a big difference lol

  26. Im a guy who gets rejected for being short a lot but i also get called a dick/asshole for having my own preferences. People become unknowingly selfish when they dont get what they want. They'll get over it. Or not irdgaf lol

  27. As a short girl (5’1”) who has dated a tall person (6’4”). Nah. It is uncomfortable. Straining to kiss. Feels like you’re hugging your dad. 🤢 and when we’d cuddle it was so uncomfortable. So yeah. I get it. Sometimes it’s also about physical compatibility.

  28. Having a firm cutoff at 5’11” is a little weird, tbh. That’s a 6” differential. Imagine a guy 5’10” complaining about the height difference of a woman 5’3”.

  29. 😂😂I’m only 5’4” and I found out just to shorten my wedding dress was like $200 (on top of taking in the sides). So for $45 I bought what I love to call “stripper heels.” 😂 My husband was so annoyed I was almost his height (5’10”) for our wedding. I do know what you mean - it was the one time I felt tall and it was a little awkward.

  30. Not wrong, you’re just avoiding further back issues and making your dating pool smaller. Which is totally fine lol the obsession with short women can be creepy sometimes so glad you’re opting out of that narrative entirely

  31. I'm a women who's 6'2 I weirdly get the same shit that it for some reason I have to have a preference for short guys

  32. As I short women I think is great. There isn’t a lot of of very tall man and those tall queen deserves a tall king too. For us short women, almost all men are tall anyway😂

  33. People get personally offended when you don’t include them in your dating preferences lol. I only date tall guys. Doesn’t mean I hate short guys. It’s called a preference people!

  34. As a short guy I know that feeling very well. I must correct you though. A preference would include that it would be possible as a short guy to date you but it’s not so it’s more like a prerequisite/requirement. A preference would be that I am just more into brunette women but that won’t mean that I wouldn’t date a blonde women. I’m ok with preferences/requirements but what triggers me is when men are told to be toxic for having preferences while women are allowed to have them, it’s so hypocritical… I’m 24 and still had no girlfriend btw. 😭. Even 8th graders are taller than me with my 1.68m…

  35. There's a lot of tall women that have some difficulty finding dates because most guys have the opposite preference. Your preference is yours and you shouldnt feel bad for having it.

  36. I’m a 6’0” tall woman and because of that I’ve been very much not the preference of a lot of people. Especially taller guys for some reason. I think your reasoning for preferring one height over the other makes a difference though. You’re not saying short women aren’t attractive, you’re just saying that it’s uncomfortable for you at your height to date someone a lot shorter than you.

  37. I am a short woman who has gone on dates with very tall men in the past (6’5) and found it very weird; it felt like I was a little kid with her dad or older brother. 5’11 and below ever since! It’s not wrong to have preferences as long as you’re not cruel or rude about letting people know.

  38. so ironic how people get mad at you while there’s a lot of women that date guys that are only 6’ or taller

  39. My dad was 6'7, my mom is 5'2. At some point, the height difference is comical in an embarrassing way. I'm 5'8 and I've only ever dated men the same height or shorter than me. I dont feel comfortable with people way taller than me, but that is my preference. People have no right to shame you for your own preferences.

  40. I wish more guys were like this. I’m a pretty tall woman especially for my age. In most instances I am just barely shorter than the men in my life. I’ve been rejected before for my height despite still being shorter than the guy. It’s nice to know there’s men out there looking for taller women.

  41. I’m average 5’4” and wouldn’t date over 5’9”, tall guys feel like looking upward at one’s dad. I agree with OP that it’s inconvenient dating someone greatly different in height from you

  42. I’m 5’1 and I prefer guys closer to my height, my 3 best girl friends are the same they’re shorter like me. All 3 have shorter boyfriends like definitely under 6’.

  43. My (5’3,5) ex is 6’5 and it the height difference was uncomfortable tbh. Shame his parts weren’t proportional.

  44. That’s fair enough and as a 5’9ish (don’t know specific height) girl I agree that I wouldn’t date anyone under 5’8 because I feel awkward doing that (especially when I’m in heels like I hate being visibly a lot taller so maybe more 5’10 as lowest for me unless we have a good connection), neither of us should be told we wrong for preferences tho

  45. Honestly though we’re just individuals with preferences, we’re not hurting anyone. So idk why people feel the need to be negative about it.

  46. I’m a 5’7 female.. and people ALWAYS tried to fix me up with men shorter than me. It was something I wasn’t interested in. But I got called picky alll the time. I didn’t want to weigh more than my man and I like muscles. Everyone has their preferences

  47. I'm 5'2" and bf is 6'4" we've been together for 19 years. No we don't plan on marraige. I always felt akward in the beginning because of our height difference and frankly he's huge compared to myself. When he rests his arm or head or leg on me it's so heavy I can't tolerate it. Dancing? Ridiculous! When we have sex I can't be on top because his body is too wide to my legs and him on top crushes me. So I totally think it's cool that you have a height preference.

  48. I am 5’8 and I am tall for a woman but I’d not even make your standards and I am totally okay with this because it’s hard enough to be as tall as I am as a woman but talker? What a nightmare, those women are limited to the number of woman willing to date them. Shorter women have everything in the dating world …I support your preference.

  49. Because women are less used to being rejected due to biological differences. Flip the genders and women would be cheering themselves for their preferences.

  50. With the exception of a loud vocal minority, women do not encourage each other to have shallow preferences and die on that hill. Most women do not hold written-in-stone, black-and-white views on appearance.

  51. Honestly, I don’t really get it either. I’m 5’6 and on the heavier side, so I definitely would prefer someone over 5’10 to make me feel like not a giant. There’s nothing wrong with having a preference, it’s not something you can force yourself to like.

  52. There's a thing I call "pathologising the alternative" in dating. Women do this all the time: "you like girls smaller than you? You must be a pedo" "You're dating outside your race? Must have a fetish" "You're dating someone a few years younger? You're manipulative"

  53. That’s insane that people come at you like that. You’re the one of the first tall guys I’ve heard of that exclusively dates tall women. Because typically very tall guys date very small women. So idk why people are coming at you like that. But you really don’t need to tell people your dating preferences if you can avoid it. I know on some dating websites it’s usually not listed and you have to ask. That is what women go through as well when they don’t want to date short guys.

  54. It’s because short women fetishize your height so they don’t like you off market, you have needs too bro just do your thing

  55. I so hear you. As a 5'3" woman, I like a shorter man, it just works better! Maybe it's your tone or delivery that people object to, and remember not everyone needs to know your likes and preferences.

  56. I'm 6'1 myself. Short girls aren't a deal breaker but dating girls closer to my height definitely is preferable. It makes holding hands and walking easy. Plus standing sex is possible!

  57. Yeah what women don't understand is that if your 5 ft 4 inches, I'm 6 ft 2, bending my neck constantly to kiss you starts to hurt after a while.

  58. Because people are chronically over-involved in everyone else's lives instead of staying in their lane where they belong. It's part of the reason why celebrity culture exists.

  59. Because it sounds shallow if you don’t explain your reasoning. Just explain that dating someone with a big height difference is inconvenient, you have to crouch every time you want to hug or kiss her, your back hurts, there are many positions that are uncomfortable, etc.

  60. I once dated a guy who was 6’8 and I’m 5ft. We just looked foolish walking around with eachother so I agree.

  61. Im in the same boat my guy. I really would prefer only taller girls like 5'8 and up. The issue Ive been having is I really cant find any girls who I'm attracted to that are on the taller side lol.

  62. There is a double standard abt this, some girls are gonna say that you are an asshole or sth but then they say that they only date guys over 6'2 or some shit. Annoys tf out of me

  63. Call these people out for being sexist because they won’t be having the same reaction when women reject short men.

  64. I think you’re just not surrounding yourself with the right people. I’m 5’2 and I’m not offended in any way by your preference. To me it’s no different than preferring blondes or women with a great ass. Plenty of people out there. No need to settle for someone you’re not attracted to.

  65. Its because they want to feel as if they could be desired by you but don't fit your preferences. Theu feel rejected if they don't make the cut, although they weren't pursuing you.

  66. Women frequently include a height preference; there shouldn't be a double standard. You like what you like, why force something else?

  67. The support for this on here is nuts, but if I say a prefer a girl who takes care of her body and is fit, I'm the fuckin' antichrist

  68. As a short woman, I never understood the appeal of dating some over a foot taller than you either. Once the size difference novelty wears off everything is a logistical nightmare.

  69. Yeah, I get it. I'm 5'6", and prefer not to date anyone 6'+ for similar reasons. Not that it's a deal-breaker or anything, but it's definitely a point against the person. As long as you're not a dick about it, there's nothing wrong with having physical preferences.

  70. 6’5 man here, I don’t date smaller than 5’8, 5’7 if she’s the heels type. Had the same type of comments. Funny how they’re so hypocritical and entitled that they don’t realize it’s the exact same thing as them saying “i want a man taller than 6’0”

  71. I'm a short woman (5'3) and I wouldn't want to date someone over 6'1 because it's, like you said, inconvenient and uncomfortable. It's completely fine to have preferences (as long as they are legal lol) and you don't have to explain yourself!

  72. I have a friend that is 6'4 and he doesn't like dating short women either. Gives him back problems. People who give you flak need to grow up.

  73. I don’t think you deserve getting shit for it but I will say that you are severely limiting your potential dating pool by only dating women 5’11” and over. I can genuinely count on one hand the amount of women I’ve seen in my day to day life that are that tall.

  74. See I’m a 5’10 woman who only prefers to date men 6’5 and up so I feel you! I get a lot of hate from the short king community but it’s simply just a preference

  75. I actually love seeing this. So many men reject taller women because it’s not the short spinner type that’s romanticized. The same goes for women rejecting men for being shorter than they think is ideal.

  76. I mean women are open about their height preferences all the time and society seems ok with it, why can’t you?

  77. I wouldn't give you shit for it, and with how many women have height preferences, I think it is only fair for a tall guy to be able to have them too. What I will say is that if you are dating to find a life partner, height preferences seem a little silly. The person you fall for likely isn't going to be exactly what you expect. Making height a dealbreaker could mean missing out on some incredible people who are a great match for you.

  78. I mean as a 4'11 woman I get you. I do NOT want to have to ficking jump every time I want to hug/kiss my partner. I prefer my short boys thank you very much. I've never been critiqued over this so it's pretty stupid people criticise you for pretty much the same thing

  79. As a short woman, 4'11 at that, I don't really care if you're a 5'5,5'9 etc., cause ya know, from my perspective, everyone is damn taller than me.

  80. As a short woman (5'2) with tall friends (5'9+)and tall siblings I understand. I feel like I'm getting dropped off at school or something when we all walk around together. And at 29 it's hard to feel like that. Lol. Not that tall men aren't attractive but at a certain point it's awkward.

  81. if people criticize you because you don't want to date short women, they should criticize women who don't want to date short guys as well

  82. It’s interesting to see people have discussions about preferences when they really mean requirements/deal breakers. Someone only dating others of a certain height range is a requirement and not a preference. It’s okay to have requirements as well as preferences but make sure to apply the correct words.

  83. I’m 5’4 tried dating a guy 6’6.. wasn’t happening I came up to his rib cage 🤨 my husband is 5’8 and it’s perfect. It’s ok to have a preference, let the tall ladies have the tall guys!

  84. I don’t see why this makes you an asshole when a lot of women refuse to date a man under 6 foot. Both are preferences that should be respected

  85. Your preferences are what they are. Nothing wrong w/that. I mean, I kinda get it. I'm short (5 ft 2 ) and I HATE it, so I compensate for it and hide it by wearing 7 and 8 inch heels every day. I like myself much better at 5'9 and 5"10. Thank God for stiletto shoes.❤️👠Edited bcz i'm brain dead lost my ability to add.😂🤡Need sleep.

  86. I don’t see an issue with it. It’s your choice to limit your dating pool however you see fit. I’m 5’4 and dated a guy that was 6’3 (I forget exactly, but it was somewhere between 6’2-6’4) and it is inconvenient. My husband is 5’8 and so it’s much nicer to be closer in height to each other.

  87. As a short lady (5’1”) with someone who is tall (6’6”) your preference is totally valid. If my partner and I didn’t love each other so much we would also have height requirements (no taller than for me and no shorter than for him) and there is nothing wrong with that.

  88. If it wouldn't be about their height, they would give you flak for any other preference you have. You're white but you like black women? You're fetishizing their race! You're white and you like white women? You're a racist for not dating black women! You're a young guy and you like older women? You must have mommy issues! You're an older man and you like young women? You're taking advantage of them! You like women with big breasts? You're objectifying them! You like women with small breasts? You must be closeted gay or pedo! People just always have a reason to hate. It's not you, it's them.

  89. is this people griping about it in the real world or internet people? if you car talking internet people, don't sweat it. You can pick a fight about anything on the internet and most do.

  90. Idk why ppl care so much about how others chose to do and why. There’s nothing wrong with having a preference. Most ppl have a preference. You’re not shallow

  91. I feel this WAY too much. I'm 6'2"F(185cm) and the amount of times I've been called shallow and gross because I don't want to date anyone shorter than me is honestly really demoralizing. Like I don't mind if they're a little shorter, my current bf is 5'10". But I don't go out of my way to be like, "You're shorter than me. No." I had a guy ask me out that was 5'4 and I felt bad so I agreed, and when he hugged me I legitimately felt like I was hugging a 12 year old. I didn't tell him that but it made me feel majorly uncomfortable.

  92. I'm not abnormally tall, but I'm 6'2" and I too prefer taller women.. Not sure why. My wife is 5'10".

  93. As long as you're not an actual dick about it, who cares. I'm 5feet tall and if you told me I'm not your type it would be cool and move on. Not everyone is for everyone

  94. To hell with those short women! I am a 5'11" guy and there was no clarification about guys. I expect to be whined and dined.

  95. I’m 5’8 and it’s always been a pet peeve when the tall guys are with the shortest girls. We need the tall ones!!! Lol

  96. Totally understand where you are coming from. I am 5'5 and dated someone who was 6'7. It was a nightmare. Half of our home was inaccessible to me because I couldn't reach it without a ladder. He couldn't fit in my car (2005 MINI cooper). His feet hung over our bed. It would be funny if it weren't so frustrating.

  97. I know a guy who is 6’5 and he likes shorter women, I’m 5’2 so, it comes down to preference… you are allowed to have preferences who gives a fuck. It is when you are so specific on physical appearances that you can’t make a relationship work is when it’s a problem and your shallow.

  98. As a 4’11 female, there is nothing wrong with preferring taller girls! I actually prefer shorter guys for similar reasons that you stated. It’s all about it how you approach it!

  99. I have the same problem on the opposing end. I'm 5' tall, in what works would it make sense for me to go date someone who's 6'+? It honestly just comes down to practicality. Like I'm sorry if I wanna be able to see my partner's face. Sorry people are giving you flack for it, you're just being realistic

  100. If you were a women who was tall and didn't want to date shorter guys it is almost the expectation why is the fact you don't want a huge disparity in height? Obviously people complaining have never tried to get into the car after forgetting the last person to drive it was a foot and a half shorter than them.

  101. How about you change how you say it? I prefer to date woman who are at an ergonomical height to lessen my chiropractic bills.

  102. Because of..... DOUBLE STANDARD! How many women's profiles have height requirements? How many saying "no one under 6' "? And this is perfectly fine. So, it is absolutely fine for you to have a preference in who you find attractive.

  103. If women get to have their “must be over 6ft tall” preferences, you’re allowed to prefer taller women. Lol stick to your presences, give all the salty, height obsessed girls a taste of their own medicine.

  104. Sir! I am on your side. I once dated a super tall dude. He played volleyball for UCLA and he was 6’8”. I am 5’6”. When we had sex and smushed together our lovely boy and girl parts, he was so tall I couldn’t kiss him during sex! I literally couldn’t reach his mouth. This was something I had never considered u til it happened to me. So, if,you only wanna date nice tall women, you go for it! No one should criticize that.

  105. I don’t think it’s wrong at all, also it definitely be a physical issue, yours and ever hers necks gonna ache so bad just by talking to each other. Kissing her would KiLL your back and hugs will just be awkward lol. I’m 5’3 and I really don’t want any 6’s like my head ends where their shoulders began, I can’t XD

  106. Not the ah at all. Height differences give you severe muscle cramps in the neck and back. This could be a life long health issue. So, go ahead and you do you.

  107. Tell those same people to go on any dating services and see all of the women looking for men over 6feet tall. They should be campaigning for those women to stop being shallow? Date and have preferences for yourself. Anybody else's opinions are meaningless.

  108. Maybe the people who criticize you are upset because usually tall guys prefer them and it gave them a confidence boost so when they found out it's not universal of all tall guys, like you, and you prefer a tall woman that hurt their ego. Probably only the ones who rely on external validation though.

  109. Well this thread is quite something, a safehaven for tall folk to discuss their experiences. Allow a 'short' person to do so as well.

  110. I’m a short girl (5ft) and I understand the height difference thing yet so many 6’+ dudes like me and often comment on my being small and short lol I don’t get it. A guy I like is also 6-something and I’m scared he’ll stop liking me if he realizes how inconvenient it is lol

  111. As a 5ft person I totally get it!! I don’t think it’s wrong for people to have preferences! And realistically if you dated someone super super short you will literally look like your on a date with a child 😅😂

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