The look of pity when I tell people I’m ace, and they try connecting the dots 💀😅

  1. Oh god, the ammount of times I’ve heard scumbags tell me “I bet I could fix you ;)” is infuriating. Like, my guy, if doing it with someone would magically make me “better”, I’d definitely not choose you.

  2. Legit!! I told my therapist I’m asexual and she said “Was it bc of what happened?” And she was so confused when I told her I’ve identified as ace for more than a year before what happened!!!

  3. I can kind of agree. I didn’t really understand my feelings while I was actively having sex. I just thought that’s how it’s supposed to feel. I actually hated it and that got expressed more and more as my desire to have sex depleted (especially after my birth control). And then the sa happened as well. Then years after I learned about asexual people and everything clicked

  4. tbf I think ace's have a higher chance of SA. Myself, I didn't know there was anything like being Ace so I just went along, even though I really didn't like it and that set a precedent my gf used to continue and I couldn't say no.

  5. This hits so hard, I had the exact same thing happen to me. To this day I can't hear certain songs, smell certain perfumes or be too close to a woman I don't know

  6. My ex did this to me. I was coerced my first time and the times after that. I didn’t know anything better. He tried to fuck the ace out of me.

  7. I think that the lack of experience in that realm can really create some unseen power dynamics that can make the situations ones where you just go along with it, especially if you’re questioning or haven’t heard of being asexual before

  8. Exactly! I tell people “growing up I only had only 3 options: straight, lesbian, and bi. We were also coming off the era of ‘free love’ so everyone was doing it unless they were, y’a know, ‘mental’ or ‘slow’.”

  9. STOP the fact that this is relatable to anyone makes me sad. Being SA’d was hard and I’m sad others went through it was well. Sending y’all love

  10. I was not aware that a lot of aces were SAd. I know there are a lot of flavors of ace, so i am curious how you identify, if you don't mind me asking. Are you completely disinterested in sex? Just sex averse, or needing a personal connection before sex? Are you also aro?

  11. I don't know if a lot of aces were actually SA'd, I just see a lot of aphobes saying stuff like, "Asexual isn't real, its just trauma," and stuff, plus my family members still think it's because of the SA.

  12. It took me a while to realise that it wasn't the SA that caused me to be Ace. I've always been one. It's just diffusa to understand those difference when you're SA'd as a xhild.

  13. Sadly was one of the contributing factors of being ace. Lead to alot of questioning in terms of the whole "broken ace" stigma because of it

  14. I've had this exact exchange with my sister. She cannot seem to trust me when I say being SAd in hs didn't "make me ace." I was already ace, I just didn't know it yet. Yet she insists I'd be "normal" if that had never happened.

  15. I think my awful stepdad would have done that anyway, and I was always ace for as long as I can remember, but yeah. Meme hits.

  16. Lol my brother acted like this when I came out as bisexual, because I had previously been in an abusive relationship. He really thought I was choosing bisexuality to escape that trauma or something. People are weird. 🤦🏼‍♀️

  17. My sex repulsion gives me sadness sometimes. Does that count? It makes dating allos difficult cuz I can’t compromise with them and that significantly decreases my options for romantic partners cuz it’s seen as a dealbreaker

  18. One of the first things my mom asked when I came out as ace was the sa question. Thankfully I never have been and I appreciate the concern. I guess a lot of people think the only reason why someone wouldn’t want sex is because they had the worst possible experience involving it… though I’m sorry to anyone who has been they didn’t deserve it and it’s not their fault. I think in the earlier days of the ace community a lot of sa victims coming together and ace people would overlap to find a kind of solidarity.

  19. I'm pan and we get the same shit. The right will say shit like "you sa caused you to act like a slut" and then turn around and say the opposite about aces. The right doesn't have consistency, they just hate anyone that's different to them (either because they're brainwashed or they're lobbied by the rich to detract from economic and environmental politics).

  20. It feels so invalidating, too. “Oh, you where SA’d by a family member when you where a child? That’s no reason to take it out on others by not having sex with them!” jfc.

  21. for me this is kinda related to each other, I was with a guy who didn’t respect at all that i’m asexual + extremely dysphoric about my body and he not stricken sa’d me but pressured and manipulated emotionally a lot to do things I didn’t want to do

  22. I'm asexual and I've been not sa... Or at least I don't think what happened would be considered as such, I was a kid but I don't remember the age, the other one was a kid too, he kissed me without consent and I've got traumatized so bad my brain totally cancelled this memory for years, but I would refuse to kiss anyone without knowing why I was terrified. Some flashbacks started when I was 14/15 and couldn't get through it until last year (21 years old). But it's not because of this I'm asexual, I'm more concerned I could get sa for begin asexual because people have the mindset of "I'll change your mind"

  23. I didn’t know the label until after the SA but as I looked back there was increasing evidence that I was under the Ace umbrella. The SA actually backed that I am indeed sex repulsed.

  24. I often think “did something happen to me and I’m just repressing it? Why am I this way??” Because it’s a trend now to say you don’t remember your childhood because of trauma(which is a real thing and happens, but mostly I think it’s just human to have blurry memories before around 12yrs old). So it just made me anxious but like…imagine telling a gay person they’re only gay because of trauma. It’s offensive. They were just BORN that way. So why can’t that be the same for us?

  25. There are plenty of aces who aren’t SA survivors. There are also just as many aces and allos who are SA survivors. So it has nothing to do with your orientation.

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