Been practically killing myself at work since January 3rd when they laid off the one person there to help me. This week I was told I'd be getting something that I would love and would definitely make me happy. That something:

  1. Reminds me of the holiday dinner the railroad threw us after a miserable year of forced OT, micromanagement, and a new attendance policy.

  2. Why build up the anticipation? If they had just said “hey here’s some pizza”, I’d be like “cool, cheers”. But building it up and teasing me in advance with “ooh boy do I have something special for you!” makes this both disappointing and condescending. How tone deaf can they be?

  3. This is a Michael Scott move. I mean did your boss just watch that episode of the office and decide to torture you? At least tell me it’s Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe and not Pizza by Alfredo.

  4. Being a manager, I can confidently say that management makes those types of promises and 95% of the time “the surprise” hasn’t been decided yet. Then, a few days before that promise is due, management gets together like “hey what should we do? Fuck it, get them a pizza or something. Buy a 20-pack of popcorn and leave it in the break room.”

  5. Pizza? I was expecting a $50k bonus... But this shitty pizza is okay, I guess. I mean - not better than $50k, or better than the sandwich I brought for lunch, but thanks. Thanks. ugh, down the hatch.

  6. I think these people have such sad little lives that the idea of someone giving them two shitty pizza slices seems like an incredible thing to hope might happen to them one day.

  7. It's worse than you think. The anticipation means this was planned, there were emails sent about getting pizza, I'd bet the wage cost of the planning far exceeded the pizza cost

  8. Pizza being free makes it good. Somehow they managed to make the one thing every college kid appreciates (free pizza) a bad thing makes them truly evil. They added a previously unknown variable to the pizza versus cost calculation. They've managed to make free pizza a bad thing, and for that they should burn in hell

  9. You want to know the depressing truth? It's because the manager has probably recognised that the workers are demotivated but has very little they can do so they turn to their manager and try to find something they can do to get spirits up and all that can be offered is the pizza so the manager left knowing it will do f all has to present it but then at the same time their job is actually bs and they have nothing to do so to try and act the part they look for stuff to do and one idea is to anticipate the rewards, they don't really stop to think as to whether it's a good idea or not as they are just filled with adreniline that they finally found something that will make them feel like they are a manager and maybe show they fit the job

  10. Reminds me of my old friend who made a big deal to the waiter once about “You are going to get a great tip!” and I saw it and it was 20%. I was like “Um you made a huge deal over like a bare minimum tip?” and then I laid down an extra $20.

  11. Yup. I’ve had the boss bring in breakfast burritos and tell us to skip breakfast tomorrow or buy everyone pizza if we’re really busy and everyone ends up needing to work late. At that points it’s just a “hey, I know it sucks to have to work late, hope this helps you power through.” And it’s not a big deal, but is appreciated. Making a big show of it is silly.

  12. When we are working on a bigger project, I'll buy pizza. We are a small business, and I'm right in the thick of things with the guys. I buy it mostly because I need to eat and figure it's decent to pick up the tab for the guys.

  13. My previous company gave everyone a burrito from Roberto's and a $50 Christmas bonus.... The company had record profits in the tens of millions that year.

  14. At a previous company around 2010ish I supplied them with 7-figure profits and accounted for literally 60% of their income while costing low 5-figures. They bought new vehicles for themselves, went on vacations, etc. while I worked my ass off.

  15. The crew in my office got a pizza party with Little Caesar's while the salesmen got a week-long trip to an all-inclusive resort in Cancun. You know, cuz tHe SaLeSmEn BrInG iN bUsInEsS.

  16. Slightly different, but one of my introductions to the workforce as missing out on my bonus because we didn't hit profit targets. We didn't hit profit targets because the sales team was told to capture business share regardless of cost, so they went out and sold our services for below cost.

  17. I've heard this so many times from a salesperson who used to work with me. Everyone knew he was just sitting at his office on his smartphone the whole fucking day! He used to say that the company would go bankrupt without him and that no one could replace him and oh my, what would the boss do if he left. He ended up getting fired. Turns out the workplace was much better without him cause he was so fucking toxic and kept making everyone's life miserable.

  18. That's what always annoyed me, it's true that sales brings in the business, but it's the tech support team that KEEPS the business.

  19. You're doing it wrong. DO NOT EVER pick up the slack when someone else doing part of your job leaves or gets fired. If you do your prick boss will say "huh guess we can add that guys salary onto my bonus and just keep 1 worker" rule of thumb is to work in the amount you believe your pay is worth.

  20. For real. I would much rather eat some brown rice with chicken and broccoli than some shitty pizza. It's just bizarre that management thinks their workforce is composed of 10 year olds who excitedly wait all week for pizza day.

  21. I skip all company food and potlucks because I'm vegan. I like to not starve during lunch and eat food that I know is vegan. Otherwise, if have to pick at a veg tray and which there was more.

  22. Oh phew, I was worried for a second. I thought it might actually be something worthwhile and useful. Glad we avoided that. I'll be sure to give this to my landlord for rent next month.

  23. This deserves petty revenge. Simply stop doing the 150% thing and do exactly what your job entails. If you stayed late/came early, don't. If you skipped breaks or lunches, don't. If/when they complain, tell them you're giving them something they love and would definitely make them happy - lower labor costs.

  24. Fuck off with the damn pizza. It takes zero effort, and it shows. Congratulations, you made a phone call and someone delivered food. You know what would be nice? Next time just hand me $20 and walk away. At least I get the cash and I don't have to pretend to be grateful out of guilt.

  25. Two slices of pizza for all your hard work! No need to thank us, it was nothing really! Remember, we need you to close this weekend!

  26. FFS ... pizza (or food in general) is something you do as a non event. If some of my coworkers are clearly having a rough day I'll order a few pies to show up around lunch time. It's not a bonus, or a party, or some carrot you dangle in front of them for days or weeks prior. It's a minor head nod that today sucked for all of us. :\

  27. I can’t tell you how often the people who make $200k/yr at my job jump at any opportunity to get free stuff. I’ve seen those asshats drive 45 minutes to work in a pickup, during covid, cause there was a free employee appreciation lunch. Usually a hamburger or chicken strips and fries that you can buy for $7-8 in the cafeteria. They make oodles of money and spend $9 in gas and 2 hours for free shitty chicken strips. Fucking ridiculous.

  28. They werent wrong about getting something you "would love and would definitely make" you happy. I would love a pizza gift. But when employers reward hard work it should be in dollar amount. That is the sole reason most people work.

  29. Find a new job, once you've got it secured go get an empty pizza box, put your resignation letter inside, and deliver it to your boss with the biggest smile you could possibly muster up.

  30. "I cannot eat gluten and have high blood pressure. My medical condition forbids me from eatting salty pepperoni and wheat crust. I am definitely not happy."

  31. I read this wrong and thought your life was so shitty that these two slices of pizza made you happy. I was gonna say “damn bro, I feel that, sometimes you gotta eat those feelings.”

  32. These people are either so detached from reality or love fucking their employees over.. Hell, why not both?

  33. That’s the go to for companies.. hey, we need you guys to work through every holiday with no extra compensation but hey on the brightside of things, we will be giving you guys a pizza party! Just no extra toppings and you can only have one slice of pizza and here some flat cola to go with it, sorry there’s no dessert either..

  34. Dude I wouldn’t have even taken any pizza. I would have just looked at the box, looked at the person who said it, looked back at the box, and walked away defeated.

  35. Call out. Make it a 4 day 'mental health' break by doing it on your weekend. That would make you MUCH happier!

  36. If it helps. They keep telling me "we have a replacement coordinator coming" and it's been months lol I'm a field tech that also schedules myself. At this point I'm better off starting my own business honestly.

  37. At this point in time if your boss still throws you a pizza party it's because they think it's funny they can do it to you.

  38. They brought out an ice cream truck to thank us for working so hard during a hurricane recovery. Other local companies were issuing nice bonuses.

  39. My boss loves to "buy us burgers" which are just the cheapest burgers at walmart and as I work the night shift she usually just gets one burger to share between 2 or 3 people. Safe to say our morale is low as hell.

  40. Frame it and put it on the wall or desk of wherever you work with a "My Reward" Plaque. Over time as it rots the more it proves your point.

  41. Lmao I remember one day a little before lunchtime our foreman went around telling everyone “don’t run off to your cars or the lunch tent around lunch, everyone needs to go wait at the office.” Everyone thought there was going to be a lay off. We get there: pizza party!! Then the guys spent the whole lunch waiting for management to get the pizzas out, and then stand in line after said management.

  42. This is why anytime management tries to buy me food I tell them I’m on a strict diet, can’t eat that. Then I just let it all go to waste.

  43. My company sent out a pack of 2 cookies for each team member for our Christmas appreciation gifts. Along with a poster with all of the higher-ups saying ‘thank you’ in their own “special” way. We also got a bucket of skittles for St Pattys day along with a poster with all of the expectations they have for us. They even asked us what we’d want and we all said gift cards or a team lunch of our choice. Nope. Skittles.

  44. They've been doing this since we were all children. Good test scores? Pizza party. Biggest fundraiser? Pizza party. Take on way more work than is necessary for one human being simply because you cannot leave for less pay? Pizza party.

  45. Lmfao jesus christ, I too can take a picture of shitty dominos pizza on my "work desk" which in reality is my sad masturbation station in my mom's basement. Hahaha everyone who believes this is such a stupid rube 😂😂

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