It's been a month, call still gets me (possible TW?)

  1. y’all don’t do the recoveries? our rural areas sometimes call for us to move the body, especially if it’s really badly decomposed. I’ve gone in a full tyvek suit and SCBA to bag a body, and that was an adventure.

  2. Lets just be honest: that's fucked that you had to deal with that situation. Thats somewhat, haunting shit - but in that don't forget to also think about all the lives you have touched, how many people you have helped to patch up on their worst day, even all the old raisins that your company and compassion made their week. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but you are strong and you will overcome this. Thanks for sharing and thanks for reaching out.

  3. Hi OP, I'm so glad you feel able to talk about these things and recognize the importance of doing so. I have a couple of thoughts on things you said:

  4. One of my first trauma calls was a 14 yo girl, drunk, driving her 12 yo brother and friend on a dirt road. Rolled the car, she was ejected and the car rolled over her head. While doing compressions, I noticed her baby fat of her belly jiggling. I still can't look at jello and NEVER look at the stomach during CPR.

  5. Bit similar, and a bit personal fyi. I had something similar happen after a month of lots of CPR calls. I had I think one or two a week for a while and so I did lots of compressions. Weirdly enough every one of these patients were a woman, didnt think anything of it though, just carried on doing compressions.

  6. Unfortunately this is part of the job we do and it sucks. If I had a dime (inflation) for everyone I had to deal with I'd be a very wealthy man. I'm very proud of you for getting help it isn't easy to admit to yourself you need it. That takes more guts then most understand. Do what you're told and take time to heal.

  7. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did. I agree, part of the job, but it's still tough. Thank you for your response (:

  8. Damn. That shit's fucked. Sounds like you're working through it - still fucked though. Talk it out. I agree that helps. Also, know/ find your limits; as this is an unnatural profession. Fuckin yikes, dude.

  9. That’s a bad one holy shit. I’m so sorry you have to live with that stuck in your head. Worse than anything I’ve come across in my 9 years in healthcare. Have you thought about trying a different therapist that feels easier to talk to about this kind of trauma? All therapists are a little different.

  10. Don't be afraid to search for a therapist that specializes in first responders. Hopefully one that is trained to not be horrified by our stories. Also I have heard EMDR had helped with situations that you can't get past.

  11. I’m really sorry to hear this. I’m not a medic, but I am a former med student (had to leave because the system is fucked and doesn’t support single mothers). Continue with therapy and talking—don’t worry about your therapist’s perceived reaction—that’s their job and I’m sure that they really want to help you through it.

  12. You can talk to your boyfriend about it. Open up the conversation by telling him that it's shocking, and it's okay that he doesn't understand.

  13. I would definitely advise against telling your boyfriend about the grossly traumatic experiences you have at work if he's not in the profession. You're only going to traumatize him. Just tell him you had a bad day.

  14. I'm seriously sorry you had to experience a scene of that magnitude. It sounds like you're doing all the right things, in terms of regularly going to therapy. From one stranger on the internet to another, I hope it gets easier as time goes on.

  15. I worked on the trucks for 37 years and am retired now. I've seen a lot of shit. I've been retired since 2015. The bad things fade over time, thankfully. Keep talking to counselors and friends... it's the right thing to do. If you don't, you'll end up fucked in the head.

  16. Seeing badly decomposed bodies is always awful. One of the first calls I went on when I was in EMT school was to a guy who had been dead for a couple days and his unventilated home in summer. I was 17 and had never seen anything like that before. I hope you're healing well from that. Sending good vibes

  17. Talk to your partner and/or counselor. Not about the gross or finite details to your partner necessarily, but repression is not a good path.

  18. I want to be real with you for a second. I'm in grad school for psychology. If your therapist is bothered by this in a way that makes you feel like you can't talk about this with them, I'm concerned. You should be able to delve into it as much as you need and want to work towards learning to process it healthily. I know that it could just be you worried about making them uncomfortable, which is hard.

  19. Hey, 12 year medic here. You should really find a professional to talk to. Does your work have a E.A.P you could go thru? I've totally been there and talking to someone about it really helps . If your counselor isn't comfortable with you talking about it then They need to refer you to someone that is. Take care of yourself. Cry if you feel like you need to, it's okay, it helps. I would always push off the feeling and bury it, don't do that.

  20. There is nothing I can really say about that scene, that is messed up and I am sorry you had to deal with that. I am glad you went to get help to try to recover from this. I know you probably do not want to talk about it, but you might get some relief from discussing it. You do not have to go into the details about it but just let your boyfriend and counselor know that this is bothering you. I am sure they will try to understand and help calm you down from another panic attack

  21. I’m sorry you had to go through this. I wasn’t in the profession when I found a heavily pregnant woman in a similar fashion. Took me a while to process and recover and I know my limits. I like to think about how much of a positive impact we have on peoples lives without even knowing it.

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