Surname conundrum - what would you do?

  1. Is there a reason you’re against both of you keeping your respective last names? That’s what we are doing. Wasn’t even a question for me. I love his family, I like his last name well enough, but I earned my degree with and am known professionally by this name, so I am keeping it. That doesn’t mean we will be any less of a family / partners.

  2. There's a lot going on in my original post, so I didn't express it very well: I'm actually not a fan of my maiden name either! I swear I'm not usually this judgemental; we're just incredibly unfortunately named (but him much worse than me, sadly).

  3. Keeping It Simple, Sweetheart! 😁 Excellent advice, that I could clearly use more often, lol. Someone also suggested going through the family history, and there is a naming convention on my side that could slightly amend his name to something I find more liveable - great ideas all around!

  4. Lots of women aren’t changing their names, and I think that’s fair. It’s the name attached to any certifications or other accomplishments and professionalisms. Some hyphenate, some use it as a middle name, others might pick a new last name for both, use his instead. It’s all dependent on what we like. Keep your name if you want! Or take some time, just because you get married doesn’t mean there’s a time limit put on you!

  5. I agree with keeping it simple and not changing your name. However, it’s likely his mom went through the same thing when she got married. Talk to her if you’re close.

  6. Well if you think about it your last name is just your dad's so as far as "passing from one man to another" its kind of like it already has.

  7. At the end of the day it's completely up to you if you want to take his last name or not. I know a ton of people who are doing double barrel (I know it's not an option for you) or even keeping their surname.

  8. I just shared frustration over my name situation as well. I will be remarried and I am overjoyed to be accepting my SO's last name... however, all of my professional degrees and certifications must remain with my name from my 1st marriage . I will have to maintain both names in my professional and personal life. I feel your frustration and the conundrum of decisions that we women are expected to make.

  9. My husband told me that he would really love it if I changed my last name to his, but I like my last name, and I kept my own. All of our future children will have his last name, he’s more than fine with it.

  10. I was planning to keep mine, but we are hoping to have children and I want to have the same last name as my children. Hyphen was out of the question for us, waaaaay too long.

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