I hate planks

  1. you can never win. When it's over in 40 seconds she's like that's it? You loser. The next time you just keep going, she gets what she wants multiple times and then it's like what's the matter, it took you so long, don't you find me attractive anymore?

  2. Lol wife and I decided to try pegging. She was like holy shit this is hard! How can you do this for more than a minute?! I'm like yea it's so easy to be a starfish.

  3. I give women the best 3 minutes of their life. 1 decent minute of sex and 2 minutes of incredible apologies.

  4. Three minutes of eustasy, several times a month. You just tell me baby, if that is too much. When my stuff is in your stuff, our souls become entwined. You know that I'm here for you, ohh shit look at the time

  5. First time me and my wife had sex she told me to give her 9” and make it hurt. I stuck it in 3 times and smacked her ass.

  6. Well, there is this apocryphal quote by Einstein: "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think it’s only a minute, but when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think it’s two hours. That’s relativity."

  7. First time i did a plank at 13 i was feeling it, i worked through the pain. I thought of my goals. I did good. I finally looked at the time, mustve been like 10 minutes. Nah 47 seconds

  8. Seriously, it's not even comparable. One minute of missionary, fine. But seconds 45-60 of planking, just kill me.

  9. She and her husband waited for marriage and a few weeks after that they were located to two different hospitals in two different states. Seems like he hasn’t had much practice with her

  10. Fucking hell thank you for this one! I've gone so far as to get too exhausted to finish at all because of this. It's been good when she finishes and I don't but more than once now have I just had to stop.

  11. if you want to last longer there is a simple trick. place one leg down from the bad so that it balance most of your weight. your blood will go to the leg helping your performance, this is also why fucking while holding your SO against the wall make it much harder to cum.

  12. Porn has given us the wrong impression on what sex is. You can't expect me to go full jackhammer for minutes at a time. My plan is to just lay there and jiggle my body.

  13. People like to say that porn is unrealistic. The most unrealistic part is that intercourse lasts more than 5 minutes, the average time in multiple studies. And since that's the average, 2 minutes isn't even considered premature ejaculation, it's actually just normal.

  14. NGL, I've definitely spiked my water with a little creatine to help with those times when my muscles want to lock riiight before my partner is about to get thier orgasm. That little bit of anaerobic buffer goes a long way. B12 is also your friend

  15. My ex wife is a nymphomaniac, and, well, I somehow managed to last a long time through lots of practice. She preferred to be fucked like a porn star, so practice was necessary lol.

  16. 10 second planks still seem to last forever. Maybe planking is the way to slow our lives down. If we just planked all the time life would seem like an eternity.

  17. Its not a very long time but I believe its the average, at least its for me, other day I last for 15 fucking second. My mom was very proud of me.

  18. Apology accepted, as it means 30 seconds is decent average... Therefore I am couple seconds above average.

  19. Haha ever notice if a guy makes a girl take a min he feels like the man. If a woman makes a man last a min he is not good in bed lol. Same with the treadmill 1 min feels Like 30 mins

  20. Have her on the edge of the bed while you stand on the floor. Missionary with both in the bed is much more tiring

  21. In all my years of having sex I have never had a dude just hover over me planking. Usually everything from their knee below is making contact with the bed during missionary, which means you don't have to clench your core like crazy.

  22. 8 minutes and 30 sum seconds was my longest back in 3rd grade, we had a challenge to see who could plank the longest. I ended up second but as soon as I dropped the other kid did too....

  23. I've hit my daily activity goal on my Apple Watch before from sex. Heart rate is in the target heart rate zone for 15+ minutes, so it counts as cardio in my book.

  24. Yeah, now try it for 15, with hip thrusts and toss in a few "Oh yeah, baby, just like that, just like that!! Don't stop!!"

  25. There was a time when I could fuck all night in my early 20's, but no one prepares you for the sheer damage you do to your knees. Nowadays its far more likely my knees will give out first and you come to the realisation that no one wants to be on top for that reason.

  26. Damn, always sad to read something like that. Maybe talk with him about it? If you didn't already do that

  27. I usually give a girl a good 20 pumps..... but I stretch them out you see.... I fire off 3 pumps as a tease...2 pumps as an appetizer..... good 10 long pumps that sometimes even annoy me... polish that off with 3 more pumps that cause me to slip out uncontrollably and I go into hide and seek with her hand to help me guide it in and 2 last "hulk" pumps to show her I ain't scared anymore and a glorious finish

  28. One minute? What am I, a fucking marathon man? Don’t hold me to unreasonable standards set by the pornographic film industry.

  29. If you think that's bad, it's a minimum of two minutes on the new ACFT, and if you want to max it, then your ass is going to be down there holding that position for four minutes.

  30. The last time I had sexual interaction with a girl was with my ex, and believe me or not, the first round lasted really long. Like really fucking long, an hour until she orgasmed. My fingers had the longest fucking cramps after that. But, a few hours later, though having her clothes on, she came in less than a minute, by just fingering under her jeans. I was like, no fucking way.

  31. My dumb ass was all "Huh, I wonder what the girls requirements are for the plank section of the fitness test?"

  32. I remember having to do 5 minutes for a martial arts belt test once. I couldn't sit up on my own for the rest of the day.

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