you can never win. When it's over in 40 seconds she's like that's it? You loser. The next time you just keep going, she gets what she wants multiple times and then it's like what's the matter, it took you so long, don't you find me attractive anymore?
Lol wife and I decided to try pegging. She was like holy shit this is hard! How can you do this for more than a minute?! I'm like yea it's so easy to be a starfish.
Three minutes of eustasy, several times a month. You just tell me baby, if that is too much. When my stuff is in your stuff, our souls become entwined. You know that I'm here for you, ohh shit look at the time
Well, there is this apocryphal quote by Einstein: "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think itās only a minute, but when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think itās two hours. Thatās relativity."
First time i did a plank at 13 i was feeling it, i worked through the pain. I thought of my goals. I did good. I finally looked at the time, mustve been like 10 minutes. Nah 47 seconds
She and her husband waited for marriage and a few weeks after that they were located to two different hospitals in two different states. Seems like he hasnāt had much practice with her
Fucking hell thank you for this one! I've gone so far as to get too exhausted to finish at all because of this. It's been good when she finishes and I don't but more than once now have I just had to stop.
if you want to last longer there is a simple trick. place one leg down from the bad so that it balance most of your weight. your blood will go to the leg helping your performance, this is also why fucking while holding your SO against the wall make it much harder to cum.
Porn has given us the wrong impression on what sex is. You can't expect me to go full jackhammer for minutes at a time. My plan is to just lay there and jiggle my body.
People like to say that porn is unrealistic. The most unrealistic part is that intercourse lasts more than 5 minutes, the average time in multiple studies. And since that's the average, 2 minutes isn't even considered premature ejaculation, it's actually just normal.
NGL, I've definitely spiked my water with a little creatine to help with those times when my muscles want to lock riiight before my partner is about to get thier orgasm. That little bit of anaerobic buffer goes a long way. B12 is also your friend
My ex wife is a nymphomaniac, and, well, I somehow managed to last a long time through lots of practice. She preferred to be fucked like a porn star, so practice was necessary lol.
10 second planks still seem to last forever. Maybe planking is the way to slow our lives down. If we just planked all the time life would seem like an eternity.
Haha ever notice if a guy makes a girl take a min he feels like the man. If a woman makes a man last a min he is not good in bed lol. Same with the treadmill 1 min feels Like 30 mins
In all my years of having sex I have never had a dude just hover over me planking. Usually everything from their knee below is making contact with the bed during missionary, which means you don't have to clench your core like crazy.
8 minutes and 30 sum seconds was my longest back in 3rd grade, we had a challenge to see who could plank the longest. I ended up second but as soon as I dropped the other kid did too....
I've hit my daily activity goal on my Apple Watch before from sex. Heart rate is in the target heart rate zone for 15+ minutes, so it counts as cardio in my book.
There was a time when I could fuck all night in my early 20's, but no one prepares you for the sheer damage you do to your knees. Nowadays its far more likely my knees will give out first and you come to the realisation that no one wants to be on top for that reason.
I usually give a girl a good 20 pumps..... but I stretch them out you see.... I fire off 3 pumps as a tease...2 pumps as an appetizer..... good 10 long pumps that sometimes even annoy me... polish that off with 3 more pumps that cause me to slip out uncontrollably and I go into hide and seek with her hand to help me guide it in and 2 last "hulk" pumps to show her I ain't scared anymore and a glorious finish
If you think that's bad, it's a minimum of two minutes on the new ACFT, and if you want to max it, then your ass is going to be down there holding that position for four minutes.
The last time I had sexual interaction with a girl was with my ex, and believe me or not, the first round lasted really long. Like really fucking long, an hour until she orgasmed. My fingers had the longest fucking cramps after that. But, a few hours later, though having her clothes on, she came in less than a minute, by just fingering under her jeans. I was like, no fucking way.
Sex is strange, sometimes it lasts a minute and at other times it's over really fast
you can never win. When it's over in 40 seconds she's like that's it? You loser. The next time you just keep going, she gets what she wants multiple times and then it's like what's the matter, it took you so long, don't you find me attractive anymore?
š¤Øšø
Finally! The recognition we deserve!
First time having sex "Fuck this is way better but equally way harder to do than with my hand".
Iāve never done a plank but Iāll take that apology
30 seconds take or leave it
Lol wife and I decided to try pegging. She was like holy shit this is hard! How can you do this for more than a minute?! I'm like yea it's so easy to be a starfish.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Minutemen unite!
I give women the best 3 minutes of their life. 1 decent minute of sex and 2 minutes of incredible apologies.
Where does the sobbing fit in
1 full minute? what are you? A sex god?
Why apologize if you'll never see them again?
I'll do 30 minutes. 28 1/2 of them is for cuddling at the end. ;)
Try the cowgirl position with your partner.
This is the reason i have 5 kids and not a great sex life š
~3 minutes of ecstasy~
Three minutes of eustasy, several times a month. You just tell me baby, if that is too much. When my stuff is in your stuff, our souls become entwined. You know that I'm here for you, ohh shit look at the time
i feel stupid because i didnāt realize this meme was about sex until i read your comment
NSP has a song about this.
First time me and my wife had sex she told me to give her 9ā and make it hurt. I stuck it in 3 times and smacked her ass.
Plank Time dilation should be a thing lol
Just throw a c in there and it pretty much is
Well, there is this apocryphal quote by Einstein: "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think itās only a minute, but when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think itās two hours. Thatās relativity."
First time i did a plank at 13 i was feeling it, i worked through the pain. I thought of my goals. I did good. I finally looked at the time, mustve been like 10 minutes. Nah 47 seconds
Planck's Constant? Mass to energy ratio, bigger guys need more energy to "get it done."
Seriously, it's not even comparable. One minute of missionary, fine. But seconds 45-60 of planking, just kill me.
Horse stance time dilation definitely is
It is. Itās called the Plank Constant.
No shit, on top of that you have to multitask, it's pretty much way harder than a Souls game.
1 minute? What is she dating? Marathon men?
IKR? I could start and finish twice in a minute in my younger days.
She and her husband waited for marriage and a few weeks after that they were located to two different hospitals in two different states. Seems like he hasnāt had much practice with her
Minutemen actually.
I have been watching for minutes now, impressive
Yeah, I love her sense of humor.
That somehow felt like a burn camouflaged as an apology
I thought it was a wooden apology
Two minutes of heaven is better than one.
When it's with me, girl, you only need two minutes, because I'm so intense.
It's business time!
You want more? I'm not surprised.
That came out... FIFTEEN YEARS AGO?! š yall are old. not me tho
What about three minutes of ecstasy...
This is why we fall asleep afterwards lol
I know you were joking and all, but in case anyone reading this thinks it's just exhaustion, it's not.
Girls fall asleep afterwards too if you do it right.
Post sandwich of course
The strain of holding some of my weight off her is the only thing making me last at all.
Fucking hell thank you for this one! I've gone so far as to get too exhausted to finish at all because of this. It's been good when she finishes and I don't but more than once now have I just had to stop.
if you want to last longer there is a simple trick. place one leg down from the bad so that it balance most of your weight. your blood will go to the leg helping your performance, this is also why fucking while holding your SO against the wall make it much harder to cum.
That and me thinking about how good the blazers wouldāve been if Roy and oden didnāt get Injured
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Just started doing those when i wake up in the morning. Wow what a pain in the ass.
Hey man. If a girl understands this she gets an extra minute.
Woah look at mister 2minutes over here, geez bro save some pussy for the rest of us
... of cuddling.
Porn has given us the wrong impression on what sex is. You can't expect me to go full jackhammer for minutes at a time. My plan is to just lay there and jiggle my body.
Just flop around like a seal on land
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
People like to say that porn is unrealistic. The most unrealistic part is that intercourse lasts more than 5 minutes, the average time in multiple studies. And since that's the average, 2 minutes isn't even considered premature ejaculation, it's actually just normal.
That's not a good way to plank though.
My money donāt jiggle jiggle, it folds
Why even put the effort into jiggling? Just get a friend and try the
I've never met a woman in my life that enjoyed getting jackhammered.
NGL, I've definitely spiked my water with a little creatine to help with those times when my muscles want to lock riiight before my partner is about to get thier orgasm. That little bit of anaerobic buffer goes a long way. B12 is also your friend
My ex wife is a nymphomaniac, and, well, I somehow managed to last a long time through lots of practice. She preferred to be fucked like a porn star, so practice was necessary lol.
Fucking well is like jiu-jitsu itās all about using leverage and angles of attack for maximum efficiency.
EXACTLY! Thatās what weāve been trying to tell you THE WHOLE TIME
The whole minute
Hole Time? Is that what we're talking about here?
One minute in heaven is better than no minutes in heaven
I think you'll find the line is:
In my early 20s when i was in ok shape, no problem.
The trick is to stop being out of shape in your 30s. Save that for when you're 80... or never.
52 here. Iāve put my intercostal muscle out in the bedroom. I mean w.t.f.
Just flip her on top of you?
But what about 10 seconds?
10 second planks still seem to last forever. Maybe planking is the way to slow our lives down. If we just planked all the time life would seem like an eternity.
Its not a very long time but I believe its the average, at least its for me, other day I last for 15 fucking second. My mom was very proud of me.
Have you ever seen a 20 second ad on YouTube?
My wife just sent me this and I donāt know how to feel.
Apology accepted.
See, it's easy. That didn't even take a minute.
Apology accepted, as it means 30 seconds is decent average... Therefore I am couple seconds above average.
Iām right there with you. Same with the Ab wheel.
Um, hard to sex someone while rolling a big rubber wheel over their face.
Haha ever notice if a guy makes a girl take a min he feels like the man. If a woman makes a man last a min he is not good in bed lol. Same with the treadmill 1 min feels Like 30 mins
Missionary is basically planking while thrusting. So yeah, you're welcome.
āHeyā¦howboutā¦weswitchā¦foraminuteā¦thenIāllā¦getbackontopā¦ā
Planking on your knees though or you might be doing it wrong
Have her on the edge of the bed while you stand on the floor. Missionary with both in the bed is much more tiring
This comment makes me doubt whether you've planked or had sex before.
In all my years of having sex I have never had a dude just hover over me planking. Usually everything from their knee below is making contact with the bed during missionary, which means you don't have to clench your core like crazy.
To be fair, I'll switch between high plank and low plank over the course of that minute.
šš»
That little smirk/smile at the end.
Wipes tear from eye What about us 30 second guys? Whereās our apology? Thereās literally tens of us.
Apology acceptedā¦ now tell me that three inches is long enough.
Stay right there, this will only take 10, 15 seconds, topsā¦
Don't worry. With me 1 minute will feel like HOURS.
Haha sheās great!!
So was alexander
Hahaha , impeccable delivery.š¤£š¤£
8 minutes and 30 sum seconds was my longest back in 3rd grade, we had a challenge to see who could plank the longest. I ended up second but as soon as I dropped the other kid did too....
I'm was out of shape and started going to a gym. Membership had a free session with a personal trainer.
This Dr Sally Choi on tiktok! She posts wonderful content
Thats a super impressive joke. Works on a few levels and its a creeper. Respect to that lady.
OMG 1 minute? teach me your ways!! I can do it at least twice in 1 minute..
Hold a hot pan, and I can feel better about 10 seconds
I am a woman and honestly think about how much more physically exhausting sex is for men.
It really depends on the positions. Cowgirl has the one on top doing most of the work.
Extremely, but always worth it
Try switching it up and being on top, you may enjoy it better too
Gonna take a lot longer than a minute with an attitude like that
I've hit my daily activity goal on my Apple Watch before from sex. Heart rate is in the target heart rate zone for 15+ minutes, so it counts as cardio in my book.
she's a keeper
1 minute? Who tf has time for that? The quicker I nut the quicker I can leave to go fishing
How to roast someone and be nice at the same time
She s cute
Sick burn!
At least one!
Two on a good day
Planks really suck. Supermans, even moreso.
Knew it.
Wait can you say that first part again, I wanna make it my ringtone
Yāall get to one minute?
Yeah, now try it for 15, with hip thrusts and toss in a few "Oh yeah, baby, just like that, just like that!! Don't stop!!"
Wow, that's a good joke, lol.
Best 12 seconds of her life
There was a time when I could fuck all night in my early 20's, but no one prepares you for the sheer damage you do to your knees. Nowadays its far more likely my knees will give out first and you come to the realisation that no one wants to be on top for that reason.
I love every comment in this thread.
Woman can't handle more than 1min of my 2.5 inch python anyway.
Apology accepted
I'd be SO glad to get 1 minute of my Husband's time, effort and attention.
Damn, always sad to read something like that. Maybe talk with him about it? If you didn't already do that
I would like to see an AI understand the meaning of this joke in my lifetime. I am betting it won't happen.
Can't relate to any of this. I'm a Chad so I last 30 seconds longer
1 minute?!??!?!?! Who has she been dating??? Superman?!?!?!!?
I donāt know whyā¦
I usually give a girl a good 20 pumps..... but I stretch them out you see.... I fire off 3 pumps as a tease...2 pumps as an appetizer..... good 10 long pumps that sometimes even annoy me... polish that off with 3 more pumps that cause me to slip out uncontrollably and I go into hide and seek with her hand to help me guide it in and 2 last "hulk" pumps to show her I ain't scared anymore and a glorious finish
You've never had sex in your life
This made me laugh so much. Thank you!
Is this a backhanded apology š¤? Lol
So? Was it good for you? š¤£
Now try two minutes.
Well, I found my soul mate. All I gotta do is find her and marry her.
Imagine a full two minutes !!
Whoa whoa whoa, a full minute? Don't be greedy!
Now keep pelvic thrusting for those 5 minutes. See how it feels.
Lmao
Come again?!
One minute is all I need.
Thank you
A whole 1 minute? I can't even last 30 seconds š
One minute? What am I, a fucking marathon man? Donāt hold me to unreasonable standards set by the pornographic film industry.
Now try it with your penis in something
Speak for yourself. I swear mineās 1min 1s. Longer if I go over the times table in my head.
One Time i did it for like 2 minutes
sob ... thanks...
Anything more than 30 or 40 seconds is work anyway.
I can do a little over 2 minutes
You must be ripped. Damn
hahahaha
Hhahahhaahhahahah apology accepted xD
Hats off to all the men who can last a full minute.
Mannnn some busted too quick but I didn't bust at all my first time, I ask you which is worse
indeed
Thank you.
Depends on the context 1 minute of studying, Yes 1 minute of gaming, No
The best 60 secs of ur life
You're damn right it is!
20 second take it or leave it
Did her dirty with that thumbnail.
entire existence validated
Ayo!
Lol
A whole minute????
this quote deserves history book recognition
The Home Depot is a great store, why the hate?
20 seconds is hella long if you ask me
If you think that's bad, it's a minimum of two minutes on the new ACFT, and if you want to max it, then your ass is going to be down there holding that position for four minutes.
Apology accepted.
I'm fucking trying ok-
Stamina requires practice. Turn that mindset into a grindset.
Thatās hilarious
Looks like she needs to try push-ups.
1 minute is a long time, and 6 inches is a long length
Lol
Now...be brave and post it on
Wait she talking about how it feel to lay flat on a boner?
The last time I had sexual interaction with a girl was with my ex, and believe me or not, the first round lasted really long. Like really fucking long, an hour until she orgasmed. My fingers had the longest fucking cramps after that. But, a few hours later, though having her clothes on, she came in less than a minute, by just fingering under her jeans. I was like, no fucking way.
That's why skilled men do multiple sets.
My dumb ass was all "Huh, I wonder what the girls requirements are for the plank section of the fitness test?"
I remember having to do 5 minutes for a martial arts belt test once. I couldn't sit up on my own for the rest of the day.