When my ex broke up with me I just told her, "okay, this isn't what I want but if that's how you feel I understand" a few years later she told me she was pissed because I didn't "fight for her" when she said that I just rolled my eyes and said "I'm an adult, I'm not gonna go fighting for someone to stick around who doesn't want to be here"
And yet at any point in time after realising you weren't going to fight for her she could have simply shown up and said "You know I was wrong, I missed you. Can we give this another shot"
This happened to a friend of mine. His gf broke up with him before they were set to go on holiday and later said it was cause she wanted him to "fight" for her (which all our mutual female friends agreed was shitty and a bullet dodged). Anyway he took one of those said friends on the holiday with him and boom...3 years together
"a few years later" as in she didn't want you then, but realized she in fact couldn't do better and was just mad at the time that you wouldn't grovel for her endlessly and remain her "backup plan"
Romance films and books have really lead to very much insane perceptions of how relationships work, for men as well as women. Good on you for being this level headed.
I've known girls like this. "Effort" means taking her on an expensive date or showering her with gifts to make her stay. When she said she wasn't ready for a relationship, what she meant was, there's not enough drama going on, she's not getting enough attention, and she 100% has discussed this to death with her girlfriends, who are encouraging her to set up this relationship test to "make him realize how much he needs you in his life so he'll treat you like the queen that you are."
Worst part IMO is the often mutually exclusive, contradictory advice / messages you'll get, and then if you happen across a person who takes the opposite position to what you've been taught they think you're an asshole because "obviously" you shouldve done it the other way around.
Years ago when I was a senior in high school I really liked this girl and we went out on a few "not a date" outings. I asked if she wanted to date for real. She said no, and I didn't ask again.
As I look at two friends of mine who do literally everything couples do and then say they don't want to make it serious. I feel like they're gonna move in together, have a kid send out Christmas cards and still say they don't want to make it serious.
100% true. I dated a girl for a couple of months. Everything great, had lots of fun on dates. One day she calls: "hey, I don't think this going to work".. me: "oh ok, I am sorry to hear that. I had lots of fun, but thank you for this time and wish you the best of luck". .. her: "that's all?"... "Yea "... "Ok" and she hung up. I heard later from a mutual friend that she was disappointed that I didn't try harder to get her to stay. I was like WTF? 🤨
When I was younger and dating I heard the line "I'm not ready for a relationship" multiple times. Occasionally from someone I thought things were fairly serious with.
It seems the 30+ age range has a distinct group of people who just aren’t capable of being in a relationship and is why they are still single. Then there’s those who were thrust back into the dating scene when everyone else is matched up starting families. These two groups aren’t labeled.
I think a lot of these people are just cycled repeatedly on tinder (along with all the other dating apps) and are forever stuck in a toxic loop. Lol, I'm glad my wife and I met right before dating apps took off.
So many things in life are or have become hard and/or complicated enough. That people seem to think making more things complicated is a good idea is beyond me.
Yea, dated a girl who wanted a massage, she was naked but told me not to touch her breast. So i didn't no problem, and next day i heard she was disappointed i didn't touch her.....
So let me get this straight. She was talking to/dating a guy and told him she didn't want a relationship. Then he said goodbye and deleted/blocked her. And now she's devastated? She would need to provide more info about what the problem was with him. Because so far it sounds to me like she wanted to put him on the back burner so she could get the ego boost of having someone chase after her. But he didn't play her game the way she wanted. Kudos to him.
Dated a girl for almost two years, tried to stay friends with benefits for a bit after we broke up. She'd tell me about all these dates she was going on, and then got surprised when I never tried to rekindle the relationship. Turns out she lied to try and make me jealous so I'd want her back, and it went and blew up in her face when I wrote her off as over me and wound up finding a new partner.
Logic like this is why some young men don't understand why no means no. Because they're being told by the young women in their lives that no doesn't mean no.
This is the same logic they use when they say if you can handle me at my worst then you don’t deserve me at my best.. but they’ll leave the guy when he’s at his worst? Double standards are a bitch
Seriously. This one girl I was chatting up was flirting with me, then one day said "can't talk to you anymore", I was like ok. A bunch of time later she's like "why didn't you write me".
People who play dumb games like this are not worth sticking with. The "test" and shit will only get worse as the relationship deepens. Cut your losses and move on, always the right choice with these types.
Before I got married I applied the zero pressure approach. I was on a date and the girl kind of seemed like she just wanted to jump in her car and go home. So I never texted her again. I found another girl that always seemed to find ways to stay in my presence. She never seemed like she wanted to stop hanging out. She always found ways to bump into me or hang out around me.
If she meant it, then she wanted to break it off. A curt "have a nice future, been great with ya" followed by breaking it off? Great way to react imo. He might've been devastated, but crying to her about it isn't gonna do anything positive. A relationship being kept up by pity isn't gonna work.
No loss. If someone’s communication is this topsy turvy in the casual dating phase, imagine the hell he’d have to go through in a committed relationship. 🚩 🚩 🚩
This was never a charming behavior to me. Oh, you're not psychologically prepared for a relationship but would like to enjoy yourself with my aspirations in the meantime? No, I'm OK.
This is a common theme. There's an inability to feel secure in a relationship without testing it constantly to make sure the other person isn't going to abandon them. Which, of course, usually leads to the person being tested eventually leaving.
And if he keeps pressuring her how much you wanna bet she goes to her friends and talks shit about him? "Omg this creep. Keeps texting me even though I told him I'm not interested!"
I went on a date with this girl one time. A few days later she asked me what I was doing, I replied “I’m busy”. She asked if I was on another date, I said “yes”. The she called me a whore and said she never wanted to see me again, I simply said “ok”. Then for a month she would block me and unblock me, yelling at me for my lack of effort and confessing her love for me every other message. She still sends me pictures of herself saying “You could’ve had this, but you’re a stupid man whore”. It’s honestly pretty entertaining lol.
He was probably one of multiple guys she was playing with. I’ve seen attractive girls Tinder apps, there literally isn’t enough time in a day to talk to everyone who tries to initiate something with them.
Yup pretty much. I've been burned twice now by people who played the game, then decided to just roast my ass from existance. Thankfully I was ar to get enough people to listen... though I know a few people who weren't so lucky. So now I just stick to being distrustful and single. Yeah i get lonely.. but I'll take freedom any day.
In my country is very common for a men to "cook" women in a party. I mean he goes talk to her, she says no, he tries again, she says no again, he insists a bit further, she start talking to him and these kind of stupid games.
See that was the old days where a man relentlessly chases. Now a days with me too and frankly the economy and the stress of it all men go no mo time for that BS. If you down say you down otherwise GTFO and bye ✌🏿
And then her friends would be "he didn't fight for you obviously he wasn't serious" but also get mad if he didn't listen to your wishes. bitch the one who isn't serious is you if you looking at this relationship like it's a fucking game with you as the prize. if you didn't want to materialize yourself then stop playing these games, and stop complaining when guys actually see you as an object because you did it to yourself.
Hard to play the hard to get play when no means no and go away means go away. When one sex is to afraid to do the courtship dance because it could mean your life gets destroyed many people will end up dissatisfied.
This seems to suggest you think the courtship dance is a good thing. I don’t know but maybe it’s better to naturalise the idea that we say what we mean and mean what we say, without the dumb games.
This shit pisses me off so badly. Im sorry, but a dude respected your thoughts and you think he should have tried harder? I adore women, but fuck you bitch, no means no, not “I just wanted you to work harder, because I wanted you to feel special that I deigned to date you, because your beneath me”
No kidding. That’s fucked dude. Listen, you can’t let her do that to you. You seem to have a level head on your shoulders, but place those boundaries. She’s getting away with being physical and essentially getting all of the perks of being in a relationship with you without actually being in a relationship with you.
That would be trying to convince her to reconsider her decision. Stuff like, "Just let me take you out once and show you how you deserve to be treated" .
This is what I hope for when I end something that isn't working. How are you going to be devastated?? As a culture, we're asking for more honesty from men. He said he doesn't want to be with you. And you're devastated?
She is the kinda attention seeking drama b*tch who would have posted about a creepy dude not getting the message and ‘stalking’ her if the guy had made any efforts to pursue her.
I think it’s the difference between new and mature partners. The inexperienced tend to play the “head games” whereas mature folks just frikin’ say it and/or take what’s said at face value. For example, when asked “what’s wrong” the inexperienced may say “oh nothing” and the seasoned partner will say “ok” and not play the “oh come on tell me blah blah blah” game. And, if asked what’s wrong, the experienced partner … tells you exactly what’s wrong.
Any woman that expects to be chased after saying don't chase me has watched too many romcoms and needs to snap back to reality before they're 50 with 10 pets.
I had the exact same thing happened to me and because i didnt chase her after she became a huge asshole because i did this exact thing, i had to block her because she was harassing me saying i was a bitch that gave up easily, im still confused
Why don’t people say what they mean/feel? I can’t understand treating your own life like a game leaving little clues only you know about and expecting others to get it. Just tell the truth
This is called leading someone on, which certain women do routinely. Men have actively complained about this at least since the dawn of spoken language. At least as long as women have complained about men not being able to pick up signals, because they are the mostly the same problem.
She wasn't ready for HIM. She already had a guy and this one was probably the second choice in the case the first one dump her. He did the right thing.
Funnily enough in my friend group when I was younger, there was this girl who was so up here own arse and clearly thought she was gods given. She would only occasionally be with the friend group when we met but every time she was there she would say men are trash. Also every time I saw her she would have a different boyfriend.
I’m sick of the guy makes the first move. First of all, I’m incapable of such a thing. Second of all, isn’t it safer anyways for the woman to make initial moves?
Guess that must be one of those women who think that if they lie to themselves, noone can hurt their true being. It seems it didn't work out for this one..
They did the right thing, which is respect your decision and not waste their time any further. Because that's what such behaviour does: it wastes time. For everybody.
Reminds me of a friend of mine. They were talking to someone for about three months who they met on a dating app, and my friend also told them straight up that they didn't want to do hookups, but also didn't want something serious etc. They went on a few dates and nothing happened. Eventually that person found someone who was upfront about wanting to be in a relationship and told my friend. My friend proceeded to throw a fit, despite literally being the reason they weren't together.
I have an autistic husband. His biggest complaint about women is that they don’t tend to be direct with what they want. I don’t play coy. I’ve always believed the direct approach is best. It leaves zero room for confusion. There are men out there that can’t handle that though. Just like there are women who think playing emotional guessing games is fun.
its crazy how common , people like this expect the guy to come back on his knees or be some knight when being told its over. Men are people too and are constantly being talked of as objects(irony) to just be played around with specially their feelings and wonder why men are not dating their toxic asses. Alot of women have incredibly unrealisitic views of what a relationship is and social media made it 1000x worse. Another way of saying this if its too complicated ->PLAY STUPID GAMES WIN STUPID PRIZES
I once went to a bar with a group of friends and one of them had brought a few girls he was long time friends with. Instantly at the bar the girl I thought was really cute comes up to me and says you're the best looking guy here. Blah blah blah, later on we're making out. I get her number, we talk for about another week or 2, she's sending me snaps, etc. Finally that same group goes to the bar again, I pay her cover fee into the bar buy her some drinks, she was cold so I went to my jacket and was walking around with in a t-shirt. 20 minutes later she's at the bar with us all grinding on some other guy dancing with another guy, and dancing with a different guy. I'm not going to leave her stranded there so I drove her home and wanted some closure. I asked her straight up what the fuck was that about. She has a mental breakdown crying about how she wants her ex-boyfriend's Asian babies (her exact words not mine), about how she's not mature enough for a relationship, and just like an actual mind numbing amount of immaturity and narcissism spewed out of her mouth. No problem I drop her off we're cool you do you. When I get home I blocked her on Instagram because why do I want to see this girl on there anymore, and would you believe I woke up to about 18 text messages and five phone calls asking why I removed her on Instagram this and that? So I call her back just to set the record straight, and she saying how we should still be friends and this and that, and I hit her with one of my all-time favorite lines that I've ever said ever... "I'm good I have a lot of friends". She is a friend of a friend though so I decided to try to be cordial and stuff, A week or two goes by and she text me a couple times here and there, so again I asked her what is this? what is going on? Clearly you're not interested in dating so did you just want to like hook up or something? She gets all mad telling me how rude I am and that I'm a pig, but like dude you literally hooked up with me already and clearly you're interested in something here so what the fuck is going on. That was the last conversation I had with that nut job
I've done exactly this. The only difference was that we had been together for years on and off, so of course I was absolutely devastated to get a text at work saying she wasn't ready for a relationship, but I chose to respect it, because I'd rather she be happy. Ended up telling her something along the lines of "if that's how you feel, I'll respect you. But I won't be able to keep myself together if you decide you want us to be together again." After that, told her I would drop contact, and haven't seen her in over a year.
Honestly he might have already had reservations about going forward with a relationship and when she indicated that she was not certain it was the perfect time for a clean break.
Lmfao this exact thing happened to me same amount of time and this is what I said back to her before I blocked her……wtf……am I reading her own reply to my response hahaha…. I dunno why but this made me feel so much better holy shit
When my ex broke up with me I just told her, "okay, this isn't what I want but if that's how you feel I understand" a few years later she told me she was pissed because I didn't "fight for her" when she said that I just rolled my eyes and said "I'm an adult, I'm not gonna go fighting for someone to stick around who doesn't want to be here"
You did well. If you “fight” for her she is not going to want you back anyway. Might as well move on.
And yet at any point in time after realising you weren't going to fight for her she could have simply shown up and said "You know I was wrong, I missed you. Can we give this another shot"
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“We aren’t in a TV show, I don’t have to stay on screen when you say you want it to end, I can actually just leave”
This happened to a friend of mine. His gf broke up with him before they were set to go on holiday and later said it was cause she wanted him to "fight" for her (which all our mutual female friends agreed was shitty and a bullet dodged). Anyway he took one of those said friends on the holiday with him and boom...3 years together
"a few years later" as in she didn't want you then, but realized she in fact couldn't do better and was just mad at the time that you wouldn't grovel for her endlessly and remain her "backup plan"
Good call. Adults don’t and shouldn’t play games. Just be straightforward.
Yeah I’ve had exactly this in the past, “You should have fought for me!”
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She wanted you to fight for her so she could get an ego boost no doubt
She ain’t a prize 🤣
Romance films and books have really lead to very much insane perceptions of how relationships work, for men as well as women. Good on you for being this level headed.
Many women never grow beyond high school rom com mentality of relationships. You dodged a bullet. Nothing but a lifetime of bullshit.
People love to shit on Freud, but he got a lot about the stupider aspects of human nature pretty much right.
“No effort”
"no pressure applied"
Yeah but that's easy 'cause I'm awesome!
I've known girls like this. "Effort" means taking her on an expensive date or showering her with gifts to make her stay. When she said she wasn't ready for a relationship, what she meant was, there's not enough drama going on, she's not getting enough attention, and she 100% has discussed this to death with her girlfriends, who are encouraging her to set up this relationship test to "make him realize how much he needs you in his life so he'll treat you like the queen that you are."
I think it was meant to be no effort in trying to sway the decision. No "Fight" for a relationship after they were told no.
maybe he went the long way and she didnt know he wanted to be more than friends in the end.
Literally had already been invested. That’s what happens when you want to play games but you were talking to an adult who values himself and time
Some people have a really broken understanding of dating and relationships.
Worst part IMO is the often mutually exclusive, contradictory advice / messages you'll get, and then if you happen across a person who takes the opposite position to what you've been taught they think you're an asshole because "obviously" you shouldve done it the other way around.
Years ago when I was a senior in high school I really liked this girl and we went out on a few "not a date" outings. I asked if she wanted to date for real. She said no, and I didn't ask again.
As I look at two friends of mine who do literally everything couples do and then say they don't want to make it serious. I feel like they're gonna move in together, have a kid send out Christmas cards and still say they don't want to make it serious.
I blame romance media. Society tells you that no means no, but basically every romance themed show tells you that no just means "try harder".
100% true. I dated a girl for a couple of months. Everything great, had lots of fun on dates. One day she calls: "hey, I don't think this going to work".. me: "oh ok, I am sorry to hear that. I had lots of fun, but thank you for this time and wish you the best of luck". .. her: "that's all?"... "Yea "... "Ok" and she hung up. I heard later from a mutual friend that she was disappointed that I didn't try harder to get her to stay. I was like WTF? 🤨
Some act like they're already in a relationship with the one's that they're dating
When I was younger and dating I heard the line "I'm not ready for a relationship" multiple times. Occasionally from someone I thought things were fairly serious with.
I've been living in Colombia a couple months a year and dating here is so much easier than the United States.
It seems the 30+ age range has a distinct group of people who just aren’t capable of being in a relationship and is why they are still single. Then there’s those who were thrust back into the dating scene when everyone else is matched up starting families. These two groups aren’t labeled.
I think a lot of these people are just cycled repeatedly on tinder (along with all the other dating apps) and are forever stuck in a toxic loop. Lol, I'm glad my wife and I met right before dating apps took off.
So many things in life are or have become hard and/or complicated enough. That people seem to think making more things complicated is a good idea is beyond me.
Yea, dated a girl who wanted a massage, she was naked but told me not to touch her breast. So i didn't no problem, and next day i heard she was disappointed i didn't touch her.....
So let me get this straight. She was talking to/dating a guy and told him she didn't want a relationship. Then he said goodbye and deleted/blocked her. And now she's devastated? She would need to provide more info about what the problem was with him. Because so far it sounds to me like she wanted to put him on the back burner so she could get the ego boost of having someone chase after her. But he didn't play her game the way she wanted. Kudos to him.
Dated a girl for almost two years, tried to stay friends with benefits for a bit after we broke up. She'd tell me about all these dates she was going on, and then got surprised when I never tried to rekindle the relationship. Turns out she lied to try and make me jealous so I'd want her back, and it went and blew up in her face when I wrote her off as over me and wound up finding a new partner.
Turns out "open and honest communication" is a big turn off for a lot of people. Wish I was joking but I'm really not
I hope every person just respects whats been communicated to them and „leaves“ so this dumb ass logic dies out
100% this.
They probably have a friend that says “he didn’t fight for you, obviously he wasn’t the one.”
A friend of mine divorced because he didn't play that game.
aint time for playing games when I've got games to play.
Logic like this is why some young men don't understand why no means no. Because they're being told by the young women in their lives that no doesn't mean no.
This, infinite times. Also, you accidentally put "leaves" in quotes instead of "logic".
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No, it's better the logic stays around so the dumb motherfuckers who aren't worth your time can out themselves before you're in too deep
This is the same logic they use when they say if you can handle me at my worst then you don’t deserve me at my best.. but they’ll leave the guy when he’s at his worst? Double standards are a bitch
Seriously. This one girl I was chatting up was flirting with me, then one day said "can't talk to you anymore", I was like ok. A bunch of time later she's like "why didn't you write me".
Distasteful manipulation tactic
People who play dumb games like this are not worth sticking with. The "test" and shit will only get worse as the relationship deepens. Cut your losses and move on, always the right choice with these types.
What was your response and what did she say after that?
The other gender expecting you to be hooked oh her just coz we flirting.
You dodged a bullet, brother.
And this is why this guy blocked her, so she couldn't come back later asking why he didn't pine over her.
Love it. If she meant it, his response was perfect. If she didn’t mean it, his response was also perfect.
Before I got married I applied the zero pressure approach. I was on a date and the girl kind of seemed like she just wanted to jump in her car and go home. So I never texted her again. I found another girl that always seemed to find ways to stay in my presence. She never seemed like she wanted to stop hanging out. She always found ways to bump into me or hang out around me.
If she meant it, then she wanted to break it off. A curt "have a nice future, been great with ya" followed by breaking it off? Great way to react imo. He might've been devastated, but crying to her about it isn't gonna do anything positive. A relationship being kept up by pity isn't gonna work.
No loss. If someone’s communication is this topsy turvy in the casual dating phase, imagine the hell he’d have to go through in a committed relationship. 🚩 🚩 🚩
You did make it clear that you weren't ready for a relationship so he simply accommodated you get over it and move on
Smart bloke.
This was never a charming behavior to me. Oh, you're not psychologically prepared for a relationship but would like to enjoy yourself with my aspirations in the meantime? No, I'm OK.
He cut his losses when possible
This was a W for him versus a woman who wanted to play mind games.
If anyone says this just leave immediately. 50/50 you've just respected someone's decision or dodged a bullet.
"You want him to fight for you" as an act of true love bc your parents didnt Show you Real love
Sucks having shitty parents
"Whats a parent"
This is a common theme. There's an inability to feel secure in a relationship without testing it constantly to make sure the other person isn't going to abandon them. Which, of course, usually leads to the person being tested eventually leaving.
As if I have the fucking time for games, you say no, it’s no, don’t act surprised when you meant yes.
This is a game for two players!
After she says No, you’re not trying, you’re begging.
Always leave when they show you the door, and don't turn back. It really shocks them when you don't want to play games.
Fax
Don’t play mental gymnastics and you’ll never be disappointed.
Look for a mind-reader.
Never be with someone in any kind of relationship, romantic or platonic, if they need convincing of your worth.
No means no.
And if he keeps pressuring her how much you wanna bet she goes to her friends and talks shit about him? "Omg this creep. Keeps texting me even though I told him I'm not interested!"
Some people aren’t wanting to play games
I am glad there are some men who don't try so hard
Does my heart good to see 🗿
Or find someone who doesn't play games that is worth putting effort toward
I am glad there are some men who don't humor shitty romcom-inspired testing.
I went on a date with this girl one time. A few days later she asked me what I was doing, I replied “I’m busy”. She asked if I was on another date, I said “yes”. The she called me a whore and said she never wanted to see me again, I simply said “ok”. Then for a month she would block me and unblock me, yelling at me for my lack of effort and confessing her love for me every other message. She still sends me pictures of herself saying “You could’ve had this, but you’re a stupid man whore”. It’s honestly pretty entertaining lol.
Not only dodged a bullet but gained a source of free entertainment, congrats!
Seems like a moment of becoming a man whore saved you a lifetime of misery and mental agony.
It's crazy the amount of women who only respond to being made to feel like shit. Niceness and consistency? NAH!
Some women treat dating apps like it's their personal ego boosting service.
He was probably one of multiple guys she was playing with. I’ve seen attractive girls Tinder apps, there literally isn’t enough time in a day to talk to everyone who tries to initiate something with them.
*most
Her: I want to spend my relationship playing games
Yeah, playing hard to get doesn't really work these days when every guy is scared of catching a charge.
People play hard to get but really they hard to want
Yup pretty much. I've been burned twice now by people who played the game, then decided to just roast my ass from existance. Thankfully I was ar to get enough people to listen... though I know a few people who weren't so lucky. So now I just stick to being distrustful and single. Yeah i get lonely.. but I'll take freedom any day.
That's how it should be. The world would be a better place if people would simply be straight up instead of playing deceitful games
Ooof this hit real
Quit playing games.
With my heart.
In my country is very common for a men to "cook" women in a party. I mean he goes talk to her, she says no, he tries again, she says no again, he insists a bit further, she start talking to him and these kind of stupid games.
See that was the old days where a man relentlessly chases. Now a days with me too and frankly the economy and the stress of it all men go no mo time for that BS. If you down say you down otherwise GTFO and bye ✌🏿
Cant figure what she was expecting when she posted that. The guy already wasted 2 months talking but respectively backed out.
Could be I'm just groggy, but I read that last line as sarcastic more so than her feeling literally devastated.
Something is deeply broken in today’s dating culture. I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s there.
Actual green flag. He respected her words and moved on. No drama, no coercion, no manipulation.
the girl was devastated because she thought she can make him beg and plead. unhealthy mindset
King energy
And ladies stop we men are not mind readers
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I mean you basically told him you wasted months of his time. I’d dip out too
this, boys, this is the way. Don't let em play games there are women out there that don't do this bullshit let's encourage them.
And then her friends would be "he didn't fight for you obviously he wasn't serious" but also get mad if he didn't listen to your wishes. bitch the one who isn't serious is you if you looking at this relationship like it's a fucking game with you as the prize. if you didn't want to materialize yourself then stop playing these games, and stop complaining when guys actually see you as an object because you did it to yourself.
Me : hey tell me if you want to continue or not. So I'll stop wasting my time and energy on you.
Fellow ladies, you need to stop playing games and being so financially and emotionally high maintenance
As a woman I fully agree. What happened to just wanting to meet someone decent and being happy?!
femaledatingstrategy
Almost like we hate playing games either give a shit and make it known or leave
When you apply stop loss to your trades
Also women: where are all the good guys?
You don't push and you are flaky. You push and you are a creep. Just can't win fellas 🤷♂️
Hard to play the hard to get play when no means no and go away means go away. When one sex is to afraid to do the courtship dance because it could mean your life gets destroyed many people will end up dissatisfied.
This seems to suggest you think the courtship dance is a good thing. I don’t know but maybe it’s better to naturalise the idea that we say what we mean and mean what we say, without the dumb games.
Looks like he dodged a bullet
You are not devastated, you're an idiot
Girl we're in the post metoo era. Him not respecting your choice could be considered harassment.
Last 50 years :"Why can't men just take No for an answer?"
Wtf even is this thinking. So the guy is meant to harrass you into a relationship??
Why is this MEIRL? I hope noone identifies with this toxic person. No means no. Good for the guy who heard it and moved on.
MEIRL = I (me) am IRL posting random tweets so i can get enough karma to sell my account as soon as possible
I’m hoping they relate to the person pointing out her dumbassery
This shit pisses me off so badly. Im sorry, but a dude respected your thoughts and you think he should have tried harder? I adore women, but fuck you bitch, no means no, not “I just wanted you to work harder, because I wanted you to feel special that I deigned to date you, because your beneath me”
Dated a women once who sent me that dear John text.
I "dated"... rather more like hung out with a woman for a good half a year.
No kidding. That’s fucked dude. Listen, you can’t let her do that to you. You seem to have a level head on your shoulders, but place those boundaries. She’s getting away with being physical and essentially getting all of the perks of being in a relationship with you without actually being in a relationship with you.
All she wanted was attention
Devastated because you told him it was going no where he said thanks bye and left......
What the fuck dose “ applying pressure” means?
That would be trying to convince her to reconsider her decision. Stuff like, "Just let me take you out once and show you how you deserve to be treated" .
This is what I hope for when I end something that isn't working. How are you going to be devastated?? As a culture, we're asking for more honesty from men. He said he doesn't want to be with you. And you're devastated?
She is the kinda attention seeking drama b*tch who would have posted about a creepy dude not getting the message and ‘stalking’ her if the guy had made any efforts to pursue her.
“After 2 months of talking” = I wasted his time for two months.
Some people want to be chased. This guy wasn't a chaser type. He wouldn't give her what she wanted anyway, so it's better he blocked her.
I think it’s the difference between new and mature partners. The inexperienced tend to play the “head games” whereas mature folks just frikin’ say it and/or take what’s said at face value. For example, when asked “what’s wrong” the inexperienced may say “oh nothing” and the seasoned partner will say “ok” and not play the “oh come on tell me blah blah blah” game. And, if asked what’s wrong, the experienced partner … tells you exactly what’s wrong.
"I played hard to get, rejected his advances and now I'm mad he moved on."
Any woman that expects to be chased after saying don't chase me has watched too many romcoms and needs to snap back to reality before they're 50 with 10 pets.
🤣🤣🤣 YES!
twoxchromosomes
I had the exact same thing happened to me and because i didnt chase her after she became a huge asshole because i did this exact thing, i had to block her because she was harassing me saying i was a bitch that gave up easily, im still confused
Women ☕️
Why don’t people say what they mean/feel? I can’t understand treating your own life like a game leaving little clues only you know about and expecting others to get it. Just tell the truth
Hoe wasted two months of bros life, I would have blocked her too.
I think she wanted him to pine for her and grovel. He's better off without this princess.
Some people just love the games.
'where have all the good men gone'
Why the F are fellow women trying to encourage the aggressive pursuit attitudes.
This is called leading someone on, which certain women do routinely. Men have actively complained about this at least since the dawn of spoken language. At least as long as women have complained about men not being able to pick up signals, because they are the mostly the same problem.
Blocking sounds pretty harsh but sounds about right
He made the smartest move.
He was the adult (handling it politely) and was lucky you didn’t waste more of his time getting into a relationship.
She wasn't ready for HIM. She already had a guy and this one was probably the second choice in the case the first one dump her. He did the right thing.
She had to post some "content" in both the cases.
I don't know what the fuck people expect from each other anymore. Nothing makes sense
People like to talk a lot of shit about hating men, or how men are trash.
Funnily enough in my friend group when I was younger, there was this girl who was so up here own arse and clearly thought she was gods given. She would only occasionally be with the friend group when we met but every time she was there she would say men are trash. Also every time I saw her she would have a different boyfriend.
Good for him, he dodged a dumpster fire.
I’m sick of the guy makes the first move. First of all, I’m incapable of such a thing. Second of all, isn’t it safer anyways for the woman to make initial moves?
I literally just had this situation happen to me it went like this.
There should be a bot that detects game playing and severs the connection
Wow. A man who respects boundaries and she’s playing games. He deserves better.
Got what you asked for. That’s cool.
Advice: if you want to date someone, hang out a few times irl. If you vibe together, break the ice and hope for the best
Guess that must be one of those women who think that if they lie to themselves, noone can hurt their true being. It seems it didn't work out for this one..
She’d be pretty upset if someone didn’t respect that no means no!!
But my tik tok influncer said he should fight for me ! Why isent it working
Bruh this has happened to me so many times and I be so lost like you said your not feeling me like that so I move on you move on …why you mad ?
They did the right thing, which is respect your decision and not waste their time any further. Because that's what such behaviour does: it wastes time. For everybody.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Wait, so I had someone do this to me and I didn’t realize this was a thing. Now I feel even worse about it 🤦♂️
Reminds me of a friend of mine. They were talking to someone for about three months who they met on a dating app, and my friend also told them straight up that they didn't want to do hookups, but also didn't want something serious etc. They went on a few dates and nothing happened. Eventually that person found someone who was upfront about wanting to be in a relationship and told my friend. My friend proceeded to throw a fit, despite literally being the reason they weren't together.
Good. Don't chase women who play these games
It wasn't a decision it was a shit test to see how he'd react
Who fuckin waits 2 months? Don’t date if you’re not ready for a relationship. That’s a waste of peoples time.
I have an autistic husband. His biggest complaint about women is that they don’t tend to be direct with what they want. I don’t play coy. I’ve always believed the direct approach is best. It leaves zero room for confusion. There are men out there that can’t handle that though. Just like there are women who think playing emotional guessing games is fun.
We've got some super uber hyper mega giga chad over there
Women don’t know what they want
This guy has self-respect. He knew he shouldn’t waste his time and effort on a girl who isn’t interested him when he wanted a relationship.
wmen
☕☕☕
its crazy how common , people like this expect the guy to come back on his knees or be some knight when being told its over. Men are people too and are constantly being talked of as objects(irony) to just be played around with specially their feelings and wonder why men are not dating their toxic asses. Alot of women have incredibly unrealisitic views of what a relationship is and social media made it 1000x worse. Another way of saying this if its too complicated ->PLAY STUPID GAMES WIN STUPID PRIZES
I once went to a bar with a group of friends and one of them had brought a few girls he was long time friends with. Instantly at the bar the girl I thought was really cute comes up to me and says you're the best looking guy here. Blah blah blah, later on we're making out. I get her number, we talk for about another week or 2, she's sending me snaps, etc. Finally that same group goes to the bar again, I pay her cover fee into the bar buy her some drinks, she was cold so I went to my jacket and was walking around with in a t-shirt. 20 minutes later she's at the bar with us all grinding on some other guy dancing with another guy, and dancing with a different guy. I'm not going to leave her stranded there so I drove her home and wanted some closure. I asked her straight up what the fuck was that about. She has a mental breakdown crying about how she wants her ex-boyfriend's Asian babies (her exact words not mine), about how she's not mature enough for a relationship, and just like an actual mind numbing amount of immaturity and narcissism spewed out of her mouth. No problem I drop her off we're cool you do you. When I get home I blocked her on Instagram because why do I want to see this girl on there anymore, and would you believe I woke up to about 18 text messages and five phone calls asking why I removed her on Instagram this and that? So I call her back just to set the record straight, and she saying how we should still be friends and this and that, and I hit her with one of my all-time favorite lines that I've ever said ever... "I'm good I have a lot of friends". She is a friend of a friend though so I decided to try to be cordial and stuff, A week or two goes by and she text me a couple times here and there, so again I asked her what is this? what is going on? Clearly you're not interested in dating so did you just want to like hook up or something? She gets all mad telling me how rude I am and that I'm a pig, but like dude you literally hooked up with me already and clearly you're interested in something here so what the fuck is going on. That was the last conversation I had with that nut job
I've done exactly this. The only difference was that we had been together for years on and off, so of course I was absolutely devastated to get a text at work saying she wasn't ready for a relationship, but I chose to respect it, because I'd rather she be happy. Ended up telling her something along the lines of "if that's how you feel, I'll respect you. But I won't be able to keep myself together if you decide you want us to be together again." After that, told her I would drop contact, and haven't seen her in over a year.
Honestly he might have already had reservations about going forward with a relationship and when she indicated that she was not certain it was the perfect time for a clean break.
I mean, I do sort of question the instant-block (unless this was specifically... tinder?), but then her response here retroactively justifies it =.=
You wasted his time and made it worse for the next one. No one wants to be dragged along only to be dumped.
Lmfao this exact thing happened to me same amount of time and this is what I said back to her before I blocked her……wtf……am I reading her own reply to my response hahaha…. I dunno why but this made me feel so much better holy shit
Maybe he felt like you had wasted 2 months of his time and felt hurt and rejected.