Boomer MILs who only had sons are the worst

  1. My MIL is the same. She's a proud boy mom and always talking about how her son and husband are perfect. Is super sweet, fake, dismissive, pick me, #notallmen and extremely problematic about her views on women. I have tried to be on good terms with her and failed because of her complete disregard for me. I now tolerate her with the same fakeness she extends my way. The worst part is now i have a son and she wants to be his #1 as well and is borderline obsessed with him. Thankfully we live in a different state so i am able to maintain sanity but we will be visiting her next month for a whole month and it's already giving me anxiety

  2. I’ve about decided that “boy mom” is one of the most obnoxious things to call yourself. It’s the “not like other girls” for mothers

  3. Given the state of things in the U.S. I would recommend making the distinction of being a "proud boy-mom" or "proud, boy mom" : ). If you're not in the U.S. or don't follow politics, then you wouldn't know that the Proud Boys are a right wing domestic terrorist organization. Unless she actually is a Proud Boy mom...

  4. Well I'm not from tbe US or Europe but we have fascists here too and although she's borderline fascist but in this context a proud, boy mom.

  5. It's not a boomer thing. FDR's mother was the same way. It's a dynamic that's always existed and always will exist. We'll see it in turn when millenials and gen Z'ers are 60, and psychologists -- and daughters-in-law -- will be trying to understand it then.

  6. Actually good point. I know one gen x boy mom who will definitely be awful. Already announced no woman will be good enough for her sons— they are 7 and 5!! Lol

  7. Relatable. So relatable. And all the comments too. My MIL also only has sons and does the exact same thing. It’s like she doesn’t know how to properly or healthily relate to me, and doesn’t have “basic” social skills with female to female interactions.

  8. My MIL had two sons (both 40s now). She’s incredibly misogynistic telling me things like my husband will cheat on me if I don’t give into his needs. Constant comments about other women’s bodies. Saying my one year old can’t wear a tight dress because it’s “too sexy”. She expects me to stay home and take care of the house instead of working so we can afford to live. It’s maddening. I hadn’t thought too much about her having only boys before. I just assumed since she had them at 15/16 that she just never grew up (not saying teenage parents are inherently bad but she you can tell didn’t grow past being a teen maturity wise)

  9. Yes weird misogynistic stuff from my MIL too about my 18 month old daughter. But also I’ve said this before— i dont feel like im interacting with an adult with her. And she had kids in her 30/

  10. YES! I tell my husband ALL the time that his mom and I would get along a lot better if she has a daughter. Husband also make comments about how he's nervous about our future DIL relationship. (Our son is 15) I said it won't really be an issue because we have 2 daughters. So the relationship will be different.

  11. MIL is a lot like this towards DH (she played the dutiful housewife, catered to him and FIL). DH's sister, on the other hand, was expected to learn to be just like her (SIL is 54 years old and realizes now just how ridiculous MIL was).

  12. Does she take kindly to you? Mine kept telling my husband that he had "changed" after getting married and still peels and hand feeds him fruit when I'm not around. And waits on both, her husband and her son, hand and foot. Plus the manipulation..oh dear God, the manipulation is next level. Disguised in innocent remarks here and there to make my husband feel guilty. I swear, i had no clue it was this bad before i got married. It has taken me 7 years to help him cut the cord but even then the emotional damage of such an enmeshed relationship takes years of therapy to undo. Now that we have a child, somehow it should all be about her. (She made a bed for my baby when i told her not to. Feeds him things i tell her not to. Does as she pleases basically) But I've shut that down by calling her out on it. The result of which was her throwing a mega tantrum and crying. Her husband defended her while she threw a fit, in the middle of which she was so turned on with him telling me off that she was full making out with him infront of me. IN THE MIDDLE OF A TANTRUM. lol. I was too shocked to respond. By the time my husband joined us, she was pretending nothing happened. I ensured we move as far away from them as possible since that day. Stopped talking to FIL except for perfunctory stuff and just ignore her now until she's on my face faking it. My husband understands but is a good son. Even the weekly hour long video calls get on my nerves now because she made my life so miserable with her passive aggressive BS but i try and stay away from them and let my husband handle it. It will be hell in a month's time tho when we visit them but i guess I am pretty indifferent to her crap now. I'll just have to meditate an hour extra every day to garner more patience.

  13. Omg my mil did this. Bought underwear for him when she noticed his had a few holes and he hadn't replaced them (hes an adult and can do that himself and didn't even with reminder). She said oh sorry, haha I had to name they were falling apart.... like she was offending me, I looked at her like she was bat shit crazy

  14. My MIL is a boy mom and used to let herself into my old apartment to clean and redecorate. She has also taken over my kitchen, told me she would be getting a bedroom in my new home when we moved (she didn’t) and assumed that she would be calling the shots when it comes to my children (Lol nope 🙄) When I was pregnant, she started telling me how I “must” parent, what I “must” feed my children and what religion I “must” raise them in, like I wasn’t allowed to have a say with in the matter. She would completely dismiss me or argue with me when I expressed a parenting opinion that didn’t align with her own. She had a rude awakening after I gave birth and I just did things my way and settled easily into my role as a mother. To cope, she started being overly critical of me, practically bullying me and treating me like a dumb child who had never seen a baby before (despite the fact that I nannied and worked at daycares for YEARS before I had my own baby. And I CLEARLY knew what I was doing, meanwhile my baby would SCREAM BLOODY MURDER every time she held him) I started being rude back to her and telling her straight out that I know what I’m doing. She didn’t get the hint and kept pushing me and now she barely sees her grandchild at all because of her behavior.

  15. My MIL is the mom to four boys, no girls. She is absolutely so difficult to every single one of her daughters in laws. I’m married to the oldest, and since he told her she wasn’t the most important woman in his life after we got married (almost 22 years ago), and because we can’t have kids, she wants nothing to do with me. My other sisters in laws are plagued by her being all up in their ass about everything because they have kids. She will exclude daughters in laws from anything she can, including pictures at weddings. She will always take her son’s side in anything, even when he’s wrong. Since she ignores my husband and I, it’s not as bad. She still considers her sons and their children her only “real” family. (She and FIL got divorced months before husband and I got married. I still think she resents me for that)

  16. My MIL too was a Boy Mom. She about had a heart attack one day when she came to visit and I had a "chore list" hanging in the fridge. My husband and I both worked full time, long hours and both made messes. Just seemed fair we BOTH took time to clean. She thought it was awful how I MADE my husband do "women" work. She was the type that she worked all day, came home, fixed dinner, baked a cake had dinner on the table every night by 6 when FIL got home, helped the kids do homework, did her homework, made lesson plans, canned fresh veggies, kept a perfectly clean house, nothing EVER out of place. All while FIL sat and read the paper or went to church. She thought I was really unfair to mu husband for making him clean up his messes and ahare the cooking. Guess I'm not as good of a woman as she is.

  17. That is totally true I think especially not getting boundaries or being sensitive because the boys were boys and ran the house. Sounds awful tbh

  18. Boy mom here. Not all of us boy moms are cut from the same cloth. My boys will leave our house being able to cook, clean, do their laundry, iron and be self sufficient. I have waited for them to have girlfriends, so I could spoil them. I expect my boys to treat their wives like a Queen and pull their weight around the house. I’ll always be there to support them, but their wives and children will come before me because that’s how it should work. Sounds like these other boy moms are giving us all a bad name.

  19. My ex-MIL...her son is EVERYTHING to her, and can do no wrong. She raised a spoiled, entitled, abusive narcissist who, at age 61 is now on his fourth wife. I don't miss either of them.

  20. YES. My MIL only has 2 sons. My brother in law moved to another country so my husband and I get all the wrath. She acts like I stole her boyfriend and not that I married her son. We are in the process of full no contact because she physically attacked me. We are trying for a baby and decided it’s safest for our future family. Wishing you all the luck. I tried for 5 years with mine but I can only be so nice after being choked out unprovoked haha

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