Mormons in real life

  1. The first time I met Morman missionaries (legit name tags and white shirts) was when I was leaving The Book of Mormon in a theatre. I thought it was a joke until they handed us leaflets 👀

  2. They really rolled with the punches on that. When TBOM debuted they took out a full page ad in the paper promoting the church.

  3. I grew up around plenty of mormons but I was 16 when I had my first run-in with actual missionaries. I told them I was an atheist and they tried to start an argument/debate with me in front of my house while I'm just sitting there, a bundle of social anxiety, trying to get them to let me shut my own front door. 0/10 would not recommend.

  4. I knew a girl in high school who apparently converted after seeing the musical. As somebody who was raised Mormon and noped the fuck out pretty early that was one of the funniest things I'd heard

  5. Ha same, but I was just passing by the theatre and didn't know what that musical was, so I was incredibly confused about it all.

  6. I (former Mormon) had a friend who was on his mission in a city where Book of Mormon was playing, and the theater let the missionaries stand outside and proselyte. They actually baptized someone who they met that way.

  7. I remember after the play started to get big, the Mormon church paid for billboards saying “You’ve seen the show, now check out the book.” I’d say they took the jokes in stride better than most religions would.

  8. Happened to me both in the West End and a localized version in Oslo. They actually gave us the whole-ass book! I regret to admit I didn't exactly read a lot of it

  9. My first run in with Mormons was about 11 at night in a snowstorm. They wouldn't let me leave and wanted to schedule a time with me to come talk about Mormonism to my family. I said no and they asked why and wouldn't leave. it was freezing and I just wanted to leave. Eventually they gave me their business card and a book of Mormon that I'm pretty sure my dad still has somewhere.

  10. Like half of the very first Sherlock Holmes story was about early Mormons. (Not flatteringly so.)

  11. I wouldn't be surprised if it had nothing to do with murder or espionage and it was just Holmes and Watson trying to decipher what the actual fuck the LDS church is on

  12. I can't imagine any sales pitch more difficult than a Mormon trying to convert someone who is already Christian but isn't American.

  13. The only unbelievable thing about this post is Mormon missionaries referring to themselves as "Mormons".

  14. I mean, I’m from Chile and there’s literally a Mormon temple two blocks away from my house so yeah, not that difficult apparently

  15. I was curious so when a Mormon missionary knocked on my parents door in their Chicago suburb I indulged him. I did explain that I’m Jewish and he went on this weird rant about Judaism and it’s links to Mormonism. I’ll give the guy credit, he actually believed the shit he was saying, as crazy as it was.

  16. The whole thing is designed to cement the faith of missionaries themselves, not convert outsiders. If you happen to convert some people, great, but that's secondary. The real point is to make these young people defend their faith to strangers repeatedly, cementing their faith.

  17. That's why they disguise it as an "English speaking club", so people go to practice their english skills and then they try to convert them.

  18. The Philippines is like 90% Catholic and the Mormons are making small headway cause they build Basketball courts in small provincial communities.

  19. A lot of people think the point of LDS missions isn't to convert folks, it's to make the missionaries feel deeply invested in their church and see how it's "Us against everyone!"

  20. I dunno, that one missionary guy that tried to convert the Sentinalese didn’t have much luck either.

  21. Do you think they keep stats on the number of successful conversions? Is there an old oak trophy locked in a cupboard somewhere waiting for the first confirmed convert?

  22. Missions might be nominally to get more converts, but they work more to create a strong identity inside the group; recording the number of successful conversions wouldn't really be useful

  23. When you're on a mission, you report your stats weekly. As for trophies, they'd probably keep a picture of the event. That's what I would have done.

  24. Ngl, from what I heard, converts come about from pretty culty means. Aka, give people hope and community in the low point of their lives, then guilt trip them if they ever try to leave.

  25. Having been responsible for those excel sheets, yes. Yes they do keep stats. No trophies... although the various missionaries do get mildly competitive with each other sometimes. It's considered a little uncouth to let the competitiveness go overboard, hence the lack of trophies.

  26. When I was a missionary, we kept a list of converts inside the cover of our Preach My Gospel book (basically the how-to book for making converts). I’d have to go back and check, but IIRC I had about 20 converts across the 2 years. Given, the vast majority of them were either bored children just looking for a friend, or people who refused to say no and had no intention of actually staying Mormon. I used to worry about pressuring so many people to join a cult, but I don’t know if any of my converts even ended up staying. I did, however, meet a lot of really nice people and it was fun talking to people with such different backgrounds.

  27. A friend of mine is just absolutely ingrained in LDS and WILL spout off exact numbers of Mormons in specific areas of the world. And he’s proud of it and I hate it.

  28. Some Mormon girls came to my doorstep in college and asked if I wanted to learn more about it. I was like, “Hell yeah, sounds interesting.” The next few months were an absolute trip. I went to church on Sundays and hung out with them, and there were game nights and dancing lessons, and also lots of meetings where I was hit with some hardcore Mormon idea stuff. They were super pushy about me getting baptized, and I was finally like, “Yo, this has been an absolute blast, and I’ve learned a lot about your beliefs, but I don’t think I’m really cut out for this.” They had a little intervention for me, and the missionary girls cried, but I ultimate had to give them a firm no. None of them ever spoke to me again.

  29. They were fellowshipping you. I was raised in the Mormon church. They believe that you should intentionally befriend non-Mormons and invite them to church in the hopes that they will "feel loved" and "see your good example" and eventually convert. When I was a teen we would have to go to little meetings where we would identify people to fellowship and make a plan on how to do it. I left the church a loooooong time ago, but it's one of the things that still makes me angry.

  30. There's a reason they felt they needed to add the "This is ACTUALLY what Mormons believe" disclaimer to that episode

  31. Although, the Mormons did sign off on the Broadway show made by the creators of South Park. Instead of getting upset, they really just said “if you’d like to learn more about Mormonism, please reach out” 😂😂

  32. Spaniard here. There's a word in Spanish that basically means 'extremely boring person', which is 'muermo'.

  33. As a child born to a different religious denomination in the USA, we made a lot of jokes about the similarities of Mormons and morons.

  34. As an American who has Mormon neighbors: accurate. They were good people, don’t get me wrong, and I’m also glad they were LDS and not FLDS, but very boring people

  35. I first heard of Mormons in the Expanse. I was also watching Game of Thrones and reading a book with a different religion and writing my own book with no religion. So, I thought Mormons were some weird future religion. I didn't really look into it. But apparently Mormons are real and they're all in Utah or something. Lol

  36. While Utah is the only state where they're truly the dominant religion, a large concentration of them live in other Western US states as well. And to a lesser extent, they exist elsewhere in the US and many other countries in the world: particularly Mexico, Brazil, and the Philippines.

  37. I used to live in Utah when I was a wee lad, and every friend, neighbor, teacher, everyone I knew was extremely Mormon. And let’s just say that NOT being Mormon there… was pretty challenging.

  38. Same god, same language in some places and then varying degrees of relatedness in the rest, same casual clothing, same normal foods for the most part (individually taken main with sides instead of a big communal plate/bowl like in other cultures), same Eurocentric view of the world, and the same history for individual persons up to whenever their ancestors went across the ocean. I'm referring to the "average" American here, which is a straight guy of general European descent, this obviously would apply less to a second generation Senegambian descended American that still practises traditions from the old country. Obviously, the colonies of European nations will end up as the most similar to them in a world of wildly different cultures and peoples.

  39. I don't think I'd want anyone's introduction to anything to be through South Park. Like, imagine hearing, "oh you're gay? Like from South Park?"

  40. I’m cracking up at the idea of anyone thinking that Mormons weren’t a real religion, just a gag made up by South Park complete with a backstory about their 19th century “prophet.”

  41. I baptized a guy who after watching that episode called us missionaries up and we baptized him within 3 weeks. Then I got home from the mission and watched it laughing. Great episode! I miss the people there. The best thing about a mission really is the discipline, I learned how to grow up at age 19 and work hard. After the mission I hit the ground running with progress academically and financially. Way more than I would have if I never went. But then I discovered reddit and it has been down hill from there /s.

  42. Wait, what are Mormon parallels in Fallout New Vegas? I love this game but it's the first time I hear about it (I'm a polish girl, i don't knowuch about Mormonism)

  43. In the DLC, Honest Hearts, you hear about a tribe from Utah called the New Cannanites. You only meet two of them, as most had been killed by the white legs. The New Cannanites are Mormon

  44. I live in the most mormon county in the entire world and I didn’t know non-mormons existed in the real world until I was 8 or 9.

  45. That’s so funny to me. I was really embarrassed about being mormon as a kid. I live in a state with very few mormons. Most didn’t know what they were, but I was always afraid somebody would find out and make fun of me.

  46. I live in Canada, and sometimes I still can't believe that Mormons are real, AND MY BEST FRIEND WAS A MORMON. So like honestly its like seeing a guy with a tinfoil hat and a sign that says "the aliens told me the world would end on the 8th of February" and its like "OK then crazy guy, you exist, this isn't just a myth, but I still think this is all a joke."

  47. I was born on the 8th of february and It kinda scared me reading my birthday date as the end of the world lmal

  48. i actually only discovered mormonism because i was obsessed with the Book of Mormon musical (by the south park dudes). I’ve watched so many videos on mormonism, I know too much now

  49. And most of its fucking disturbing. I’m reading under the banner of heaven and I’m legitimately mortified the religion even exists lmao.

  50. Only ever saw mormons when I went over to my friends apartment complex at about 14. They used to skateboard with us and were nice enough, didn't try to push and just politely answered questions about their lifestyle.

  51. yeah, mormon kids are heavily encouraged to bring non-mormon kids to young womens/young mens activities (the sermon you attended), I def saw a lot of trickery to get them there (when I was still going). those kids always looked so uncomfortable, looking back I feel bad for them

  52. There's Mormon subs here on reddit, they're currently keen to rebranding themselves as The Church Of the Later Day Saints.

  53. Basically, they believe that in 1829, God wrote an Even Newer New Testament, called the Book of Mormon, that answers the question, "OK, so now that we know what happened in Israel way back when, what happened in pre-colonial America?" Most of the time they end up behaving just like Evangelical Christians, but with a whole bunch of innovations and quirks. They're the majority of the population in Utah, but kind of rare in the other 49 states.

  54. Controversial Modern Christian sect that is very devout. Relevant to this meme, every Mormon must go on a “mission” to try and convert more people to Mormonism.

  55. A religion modern enough to be actually debunked from first hand sources of people that knew Joeseph Smith but that some people still somehow believe in.

  56. TLDR: The newer ten commandments were found in upstate New York and Jesus is gonna come back, specifically to Kansas City, Missouri.

  57. The same way it is impossible to translate the Rapture into most languages, any imagery of it will go over 99% of non-Americans' heads, and if you go around explaining what it means, most people will go 'wait, where was that part in the bible? did I miss it??'

  58. My first interaction with Mormons here in Belgium was when they were praying in front of an abortion clinic. And even though there was no shouting or direct intimidation it felt so disturbing.

  59. It’s pedantic but missions are the trips that two Mormon guys take together where they go around trying to convert people. The places of worship are temples.

  60. Can be pretty bad when they can't tell it's a cult. On the other hand, the fact that it's not normalized by years of exposure to it will mean the tenets will sound ridiculous to almost everyone. I think I've read some ex-mormons and ex-Jehovah's witnesses saying that the missions in countries or communities that are not receptive to it are meant to show the kids that the whole world is against them, and to reinforce the idea that leaving would be impossible.

  61. For some godforsaken reason, there was (maybe still is ?) a mormon community in my small town in France. I never knew how batshit it was though, maybe it was Mormons Lite because my one ex-mormon friend never told me about the really out there stuff I see on the Internet.

  62. Side note, the Mormon church is a really really messed up organisation. Boycott it like the plague. It's not only sketchy, but they make it a very difficult (legal) process to leave the church

  63. I was raised Mormon, in Utah and everything. Several years ago now I went to the Book of Mormon musical in Salt Lake City. There were points during the performance where you could tell the performers were knocked out of their rhythm a little bit by laughter from the audience at parts they weren't used to people laughing at. The largely Mormon, Utah audience was picking up on stuff that just went over most audiences' heads. That's how well Matt Stone and Trey Parker nailed it.

  64. My favorite "southpark thing people dont realize is real" is casa bonita. Such a bizzare resteraunt (with REALLY shitty food, except for the sopapillas)

  65. There was a Mormon girl in my highschool (Spain). She had a pin in her backpack with a good looking guy with blue eyes and blonde hair.

  66. (Racists(Racist christians) Christians) Imagine that's a venn diagram. There are a lot of christians who are very offended by the idea that Jesus was brown rather than white like them because god created man in his image which is of course where good god fearing white folk came from.

  67. I went to schoool with an american mormon, he was normal until the conversation of religion came up. His face changed and he got this blank stare and silly smile, like noone was home. And he started spreading whatever mormon spread. It was weird. Then he just went back to being normal.

  68. Yeah, he was “bearing his testimony”. Mormons are raised to believe that when they do this, the Holy Ghost will speak to the listener’s heart about the truthfulness of the Gospel. They do it to each other on the first Sunday of every month (while also fasting) and at summer camps for teens and as a way to counter “anti-Mormon lies” and try to bring people to the church. Obviously, they don’t usually notice that it comes off as creepy rather than this magical, beam of light from heaven, tadaaaa moment of spiritual enlightenment. However, when you are trained from childhood to “feel the Spirit” whenever someone goes into testimony mode, it can act like a sort of Pavlovian trigger for the elevation emotion, and it solidifies their convictions and their ties with the group.

  69. Mormonism is a multi billion dollar scam. The members pay over 10% of their income to be temple worthy members. If you don't pay you don't get a card that says you can go into the temple. If you can't get the card you won't get into the highest degree of heaven. They believe in multiple layers of heaven. I should also note that in order to get to the highest level, the very top you have to marry multiple women. See attached Mormon scripture. If you read it notice that if Joseph's wife doesn't allow him to marry multiple women she will be destroyed by God verse 54. Also please up vote this comment so the cult can't collapse this comment with their down votes. They have a whole staff dedicated to watching social media. Google the

  70. or you lie and still get the card that says you can go in. Source: am trans, never paid a cent of tithing, and still have a temple recommend bc I see no shame in deceiving this cult

  71. I live in Mormon country and my family used to be Mormon so seeing these people believe that South Park made up Mormons makes me so extremely happy, I’m pretty sure a major component of my parents getting disillusioned on Mormonism was the Mormon episode of south park

  72. One guy spoke to me on the streets in a small city in a small country in europe and I (high of course) was like oh aren't you those guys with multiple women? Yea, that makes no sense to me. Speaking of sense: isn't the US like 200 yrs old? Jesus was born 2000 yrs ago. Why should Jesus and co. exist in a shithole like the US. I mean don't get me wrong you guys have some awesone stuff like BBQ and some decent films but I dunno. Jesus in New York is kinda whack. Anyway, any advice on how to open up a sect? I heard it's a good way to becom rich real fast. Their faces went from disbelieve to disappointment the more I talked...

  73. They never came to my apartment building because of meth labs and general dangers. Once they were biking past and found us all out on the lawn, because someone’s lab had blown up and burnt our shit down… yeah, western Sydney can be a real trip. Anyway, they seemed not to give us a second thought, but they came back like twenty minutes later with pizza and a bunch of water & sodas. They didn’t talk Jesus with any of us, just hung out watching the firefighters try to save our stuff with us. I think they realised we were shell-shocked and that God had already forsaken the sinners, lmao, but I’ll always remember that.

  74. I'm an American, but I spent some time teaching English in Japan. Would you believe that on the first day I moved into my apartment I had two Mormons show up at my door? You can't escape them anywhere.

  75. My best friend growing up was Mormon and my parents tried to discourage our friendship. My grandmother called her a cultist to her face once. I never really understood why, but I was forbidden to go to her house, especially on Sundays, and once I asked a go to church with their family and my father raged for 2 days.

  76. I always thought the old rumor that you could scare mormons away just by saying you're gay wasn't true. I figured it HAD to take more then just that. And in this day and age they've got to be used to that. But sure enough the first time I ever saw mormons come to my door I said I was gay, they turned pale as can be and hustled off without a single other word. Cartoonishly looking behind them and everything. Maybe it's just because I live in a pretty conservative area but it's still funny that you say that and it's like you've suddenly transformed into a life sized tarantula or something. God I wish people would treat covid distancing the same way mormons treat gay people, lol.

  77. My brother went on a Mormon mission to Spain and converted exactly zero people but got to eat a lot of good food so that’s something!

  78. When I was still learning American slang and culture, i thought the the word Mormon was a fancy or "cultured" way to say moron, like some sort of insult only the high society said.

  79. I had a Mormon friend in Jr High. Very sweet girl, academically she was always in the top three of our class. She had four younger sisters and they all had super long hair.

  80. To be fair to Mormon missionaries I've seen overseas - at least they're honest about who they are and why they're doing what they're doing. The missionaries I came to loathe were a Church of God group in Mongolia. They flat out lied about why they were in the country and were deceitful and manipulative with teenagers they targeted for conversion - told them they'd get rich if they became Christian, that their parents were going to hell. They alienated kids from their parents and families. It was a strategy.

  81. Mormonism is a dying religion. People are fleeing the church because it's a cult. They also used tithe to start a secret hedge fund so they have a ton of money lol

  82. This rings so true to me! Years ago, I was a Mormon missionary from America in eastern Ukraine, doing weekly English sessions in hopes of drumming up some interest in learning more about our church. It was a highlight of my week, because I got to talk with people and just be human instead of trying to convert them.

  83. I have never heard the term “Mormom” even once. They’re awful though. My dad yelled at my friends for swearing when we were 14. One of them cried. Said that they were “driving away the Holy Ghost.”

  84. Imagine being a religion for almost 200 years, becoming infamous in your home country for your annoying levels of proselytizing, and then having people in other countries only be familiar with you because of a comedy show that mocks you.

  85. As an exmormon from America I can assure you it's a cult and a tax exempt multi billion dollar corporation that is a safe haven for pedophiles.

  86. No, the Amish pretty much keep to themselves and shun technology while the Mormons aren't much different than other Christians in day to day life. They are just mostly known for having a slightly wackier beliefs and proselytizing door to door.

  87. I remember when the “Book of Mormon” play was really popular, I actually got an add on YouTube that was like: “Have you heard of the Book of Mormon? It’s not just a play!” etc.

  88. First time Mormons showed up at my door they asked if I knew anything about their religion. I was honest and mentioned south park. Not only were they good sports about it, but they actually praised how they handled it, and even showed me some pamphlets that has south park references/advertisement in it as well!

  89. Town I went to college in had a number of Mormon missionaries. Thankfully they were very polite and nice guys but no one was ever happy to have them come to their door.

  90. I used to attend an English conversation group setup by mormons here, I only used it as a networking opportunity as a private English teacher

  91. I was taking a summer class and one of my classmates was a weird dude. Before class, He went to this one other classmate and started talking to him about Mormonism and how it's weird and bad. This man turns towards the guy talking to him and deadass says "I'm Mormon". I had to walk away because I couldn't contain my fucking laughter. Needless to say, I kept my distance from both dudes.

  92. Where I used to live in North Osaka, the missionaries would stand in front of English schools and offer the students going in free English lessons at their "school" a short bike ride away.

  93. I live in Carson city nevada and the Mormon population is huge. Every Mormon mom has like 8 kids so they all have big white vans, and it makes walking around town scary af cause there’s always some big white van following you. Sometimes they will even stop to ask if you need a ride, since they assume they know you from church or something.

  94. The ironic thing is that the lore of Christianity is pretty much as out there as Mormonism. It's just normalized in our culture

  95. I am surprised the American cult of Mormonism has spread outside of the us. I had a couple of Mormons come to my door saying they were "sister" missionaries and all I could think of while they talked to my brother was: I don't need sister wives, thank you.

  96. Yeah it's kind of hard to believe such a weird cult still exists in numbers so large that officials have to take them at least a little seriously.

  97. To be totally honest, it’s not much different than most religions. I think the biggest difference is the events of their religion happened comparatively recently. But if you moved the timeline of the founding of the Mormon religion back about 1500 years, you wouldn’t recognize much distinction.

  98. Same. Luckily Orem hasn’t been too bad for me, but Utah in general can be rough since I’m bi and left the church

  99. As an American I would LOVE to hear about more things that are normal here but completely foreign to anyone else

  100. I'm older than South Park, but I knew Mormons were a thing, but I also just thought they were like a regular protestant offshoot, just based out of frontier America.

  101. Friend of mine got them to send me their bible as a gag for my birthday. Im in sweden. I had to ask the whole neibourhood if they also gotten one. They even hand-wrote me a letter. Fucker didnt tell me his shinanegans until i got him drunk a god damned year later. Walked around paranoid for a unexpected knock whole winter

  102. My brother had a classmate from California who came to our state (Pennsylvania) and freaked out the first time he saw Amish people because he “thought they were a myth, like leprechauns”. It was an eye-opening day for him lol

  103. I usually don’t read long posts but man, by the volume and intensity of my laughter, I am fairly certain that Joseph Smith is glad I read this

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